Normal Behavior? - Tempe,AZ

hard to say, because you don't say if this behavior is brand-new or if she's always done it.
could be hormones. could be parenting.
i know i myself would not tolerate a 12 year old talking incessantly at me, cussing and never listening.
khairete
S.

Is she always up,up,up or are there ever any Loooow lows? Well, that is the crying maybe. Just curious. It sounds a little bi-polarish to me.

Or she could just be an especially dramatic teen. That stuff is very normal, to a degree. And some are more emotional than others, just the way it goes.

No, it's not normal. Sometimes girls get hormonal at age 12 when their periods are starting or about to, or in dealing with middle school drama. But you say your daughter is slowly getting over this so I imagine it's gone on for some time.

She has control issues, some sort of hyperactivity in that she can't stop talking, but she also has crying fits and is "down" a lot.

She's swearing and she's not listening to you? Not acceptable.

She may have any of a number of disorders including ADD, ADHD, bipolar, PDD, and she may benefit from evaluation. I'm surprised no one has talked to you about this if it goes on in school. She could also benefit from therapy, or from consistent discipline, depending on the source of the problem. She could benefit from better nutritional balance through effective supplementation and brain support to regulate any chemical imbalance. So there are a number of approaches to try, and with all of the new advances in nutritional support, there's a very simple place to start which is what I would recommend.

But putting up with a child who curses and doesn't listen is absolutely not going to work for you, and you need to act quickly because the more kids get into adolescence, the greater is their desire for independence and defiance and rebellion.

I really think you need to get on top of this immediately.

I don't know if it is normal behavior for her. It wouldn't be normal behavior for MY daughter (just turned 12). Not at all.
My child is neither hyper nor a drama queen. She gets silly. She carries on conversations with her friends (not always the one doing all the talking, she knows how to be a good listener as well). She RARELY cries, and when she has, it is about stuff that is worth crying over. Like a friend who died after car accident.

She has a friend, however, who is ADHD and talks incessantly. She is very dramatic, but I've not seen her cry or have "lows" really. She always seems up and excited/excitable.

Neither of them get "out of control" that I have seen. Whatever that means.

What is your discipline for her when she cusses and doesn't listen and gets out of control when you've asked her to rein it in? That would determine if this was normal. If you've always been a calm, consistent, effective disciplinarian, but she still acts like this, then no, not normal. She probably needs an evaluation. If you're inconsistent or sometimes let her act that way with no repercussions or only discipline her sometimes...then yes, normal. The manic talking could be a sign of something medical, but also maybe not, my daughter has a hyper friend who is just rude and spouts of for attention because she can. It's hard to say. You know her background and whether she is capable of controlling herself. If you think she truly can't control the behavior and temper, then have a professional evaluate her.

Quick questions...is this new behavior or has she always been this way? There are so many different issues...first of all, RESPECT. No matter what is going on for her she should not be swearing and defying you. I would nip that one in the bud b/c it is only going to get worse. I am wondering why she gets out of control with her friends. When does she get out of control? Keep hang time very short to try and prevent this - as she gets older it will impact her social network. I would say some of this could certainly be hormonal, but I would recommend talking to your pediatrician about it before it spirals out of control.

Is this a PMS thing or al lthe time?

I agree with Diane B.
This doesn't sound normal.
Kids who get out of control will lose friends fast and have a hard time in school.
Talk to your doctor for a referral to have her evaluated for ADD, ADHD, bi-polar and/or mood disorders.
It wouldn't hurt to have her thyroid checked too.
Hyperthyroid has some of these symptoms.
Just letting it go and hoping she grows out of it isn't going to help her and by the time she turns 18 she'll be able to refuse treatment.

First thing is you have to reign in the disrespectful behavior. No matter what else is going on, respect must always be shown. If she can respect aunts & uncles, teachers, strangers but not you...then she is choosing not to respect you. It's a WON'T, not a CAN'T.
Second thing is how long has she been hyper? It could be from diet (too much sugar). Could she be using drugs? Hormones could be causing her to cry easily, but I'm not aware of them causing hyper activity. If it was ADD/ADHD, I would think you would have seen this behavior for years and her teachers would be suggesting you have her evaluated.
My shy teenager can be overly loud and silly with her friends, to the point that I have to tell her to tone it down. But that is an occasional thing, not an every time occurrence.
What are your mom instincts telling you?