No Shoes On!!!

I wonder if it would help getting him shoes or socks that would be fun to wear. Such as shoes or socks that have a children's character that he likes.

My 3 yr old daughter does the same thing and I remember both my boys ( who are now 8 and &) doing the same thing. They do stop, but is frusterating. You can try rewards, but really dont sweat the small stuff, there could be worse things.

Hope you had a great mothers day

Don't really see the need to wear shoes that much. Unless you have a dog or cat in the yard that is using the bathroom in the grass...who cares. Let him go barefoot. My brothers and I grew up barefoot. Only time we wore shoes is in the store or at school. At home we stayed barefoot.

Just make a deal with him...he wears shoes to stores, church, and school ...when you go places, but at home he can go barefoot. Tell him the rules and then make him abide by them.

I still don't like to wear shoes and I'm 41 years old.

do his shoes and/or socks fit properly???? sometimes a child with wider feet find that the shoes and socks hurt and will do whatever they can to pull them off... A sock that binds, or bunches up can drive even an adult wild to say nothing of the shoe that rubs in the wrong place or pinches. Perhaps the weight of the shoe matters as well......my sister prefers very ultra light shoes and has since childhood....I prefer a shoe with some weight ( not so easy when looking for stylish dress shoes!)

Look at these...it may help.

I am not sure because I have not ever dealt with this but I would try looking on the One Step Ahead website. I was looking at a pair of shoes that I will be considering buying next year when my son is just a little older. The shoes cover the foot completely but have holes in the bottom to allow water to seep out and are somewhat of a mesh material on the sides. Maybe these would be less bulky feeling and let more of an air flow occur. Not sure, just a thought. Good luck

Try turning his socks inside out so the seams are on the outside and buy a pair of high tops like converse.They are a lot harder to get off. No velcro only tie shoes.

I agree -- this is such a frustrating issue!! First rule out any fit, pain, or sensory issue going on. Then, before defaulting to discipline and/or punishment, try positive reinforcement. See if you can make this a positive experience, instead of a fight.

When you put on his shoes at the beginning of the day give him a sticker or a hand/belly stamp (rubber stamp and child-safe ink -- my kids LOVE to get the stamp on their bellies!!) Then tell him, "Your shoes are on! You get a belly stamp! Now, if you keep your shoes on until (the very next milestone -- something only 10-15 min away), you'll get another belly stamp!!" If the shoes come off at the milestone, tell him sadly, "Oh no. Your shoes are off. You don't get another belly stamp. Let's try it again and see if you can get another belly stamp." Of course, if the shoes are on, make a big deal about it and tell him what a great job he is doing!

We do this in the car. My kids get a belly stamp when they get clicked into their car seats. If the shoes are still on when we get to the store, they get another stamp. And we do this on every stop or every errand.

It will take a little bit of time to change his behavior...but it always takes time for anybody to change a bad habit!

A friend of mine's kids won't wear socks with seams - sensory issues. I'd try different shoes and sock combinations (sandals, crocs, shoes with no socks, seamless socks). Try robeez (or similar) or slippers with rubber bottoms this summer for around the neighborhood. I wouldn't punish him - some kids just cannot stand the feeling of certain type of clothes, or labels, or whatever. They mostly seem to grow out of it, but easier to try to get to the bottom of what's bothering him than to come out of the gate with punishment.

MOm L K has it right. for something like shoes- positive reinforcement works really well. FInd a sticker or treat that will motivate. I used the waterpark for potty training. I told my sona ssoon as he peepees in the potty for 2moths with no accidents I would take him. Then we got out a calendar and marked aeach day with a star. He got the waterpark vacation.

try taking him to the store and buying shoes that he likes. of course, you pick out several pair that you would allow him to wear.

good luck!

I think this is a tough one cause I have seen my nephew do the exact same thing and he's 4. They have tried everything from consistent discipline to rewarding for keeping them on even as long as a car journey. It has been a real issue. He also is funny about wearing jeans or anything that's not soft and comfortable. I wonder if it's a sensory issue or that he's just not comfortable. But he really is getting better as he's starting to get older, hopefully he's understanding more now. Hope that helps a little to hear a similar story. You could always ask your doctor about it next time you see him.

Vannessa,

What about going back to something simple - DISCIPLINE. I am not criticizing you! You seem like a busy parent who really has her hands full. I can imagine your frustration.

Your son is old enough to understand that his CHOICES lead to certain CONSEQUENCES. It may be a bit hard the first few days, however I really think it's worth your/childcare's investment of time. This approach has really proven successful for us, especially lately.

Explain why it's important to keep his shoes on (short and sweet). Then tell him that if he CHOOSES not to listen, there will be a CONSEQUENCE of _______ (say sitting on a step and putting his shoes back on). Every time this happens, tell him how disappointed your are with his CHOICE to misbehave and that his CONSEQUENCE is to a) stop what he's doing and be removed from the "fun", b) put his shoes back on. And if he continues, then he will be limited on "fun" activities because you can't trust him to follow the rules.

My friend told me about a book they promote at her school called Love and Logic. The basic principles seem to be that kids make choices that have logical consequences. No yelling, threatening or expensive "fixes" for parents.

As a parent of young children also, I am constantly frustrated with other parents who let their kids take shoes off everywhere and don't bother to try to get their kids to put them back on (like at McDonalds, etc.). I don't even want to think about the hygiene issues! Ewww.

Thanks for being a responsible parent! I know you are doing the best you can. Keep up the great work. I hope this solution works for you. I think once he "gets" that you mean business, it will work. Just be consistent.

Also, my older child tend to have "hot feet" too. I do buy her well ventilating shoes like croc stlye, sandals, and (for a girl) the Mary Jane style gym shoes. Do your best to explain to him that you are trying to help him keep his feet cool. (Hence maybe addressing the problem.) Maybe even buy him his "summer shoes" now. Just explain that it's a DEAL - shoes need to stay on his feet.

I really do believe that he will understand all of this and that after a couple of days this problem should be a thing of the past. I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

Sara

now that you mention this I remember my one daughter doing this. I had totally forgotten. But the thing that made her stop was a pair of yellow boots. She loved those boots so much that she wanted to wear them all the time, even to bed. After those we never had an issue again.

Maybe you just need to find the right shoes for him to fall in love? Let him pick out a pair perhaps? Maybe boots or crocs or some other style?

I would want to rule out two things: proper comfort/fit of the shoes (kids grow sooooo fast) and sensory integration issues. You could talk to your pediatrician about a referral to an Occupational Therapist for the sensory check.
I would do this before enacting some strict discipline.

My Son Spent a lot of time in Footie Pajamas
It was the only way I could keep his feet covered for about a Year It did Pass But it did work

Coming from an adult that also doesn't like to wear shoes, I wouldn't make this a huge issue unless it is for a medical reason. the first thing I do when I get home is take off my socks and shoes. I am not sure why that would be a problem to worry about. My only rule is you have to have shoes on while outside out of fear of stepping on glass or insects. Don't sweat the small stuff! You will have much bigger battles to wage, save your energy!

maybe his shoes/socks are uncomfortable.
did you try flip flops? i live in flip flops : )
I wouldn't discipline unless its a safety issue. Be thankful he's not taking all his clothes off instead : )

He's 3 years old. You can punish him. Put him in "time out" and let him know yu mean it. Be firm and constant with the punishment so he learns he MUST listen to his elders, parents, teachers, etc.

When my son was three he was just the opposite...he refused to take his shoes off! I would have to wait until he fell asleep just to take his shoes off. Eventually he grew out that stage. That's the thing about kids...they have their own little quirks just like adults. I'm sure your son will get to the point where he will enjoy wearing shoes...but in the meantime try making him wear socks or a cute little pair of slippers. Take him to the store and let him pick out a pair. Trust me...at the age of three, he is not going to give in. Good luck! :)