No Sales Parties for Me

That's odd that they didn't tell you upfront it was a sales party. I don't know if I would be offended by that or not since that has never happened to me. Regardless, I probably would have gone anyway just for the social aspects.

Why don't you go ahead and host that lunch if you still want to get together with the ladies in the neighborhood. Because I don't blame them for not inviting you to anymore sales parties - you already told them you don't like them. It's up to you to reach out to them if you so desire.

HATE sales parties. I have on occasion attended to meet people in the neighborhood or friends of friends. Usually they send an invitation from the vendor so I know in advance. I would not be happy either.

The same has happened to me. When I got there, I enjoyed the food the company and once the sales pitch started, I left. I told the hostesses that I had not been notified it was a sales party and that I didn't have a budget for what she had to sell. I've been invited to others who have been upfront about it. I politely decline those.

It is your choice, but you can not be hurt when they do not make the effort to get to know you better when their effort was rejected. In the past I have noticed that these things are actually a great way for all to the ladies in a place to get to know each other in a no pressure setting. If you do not want to go, fine, but do not be mad that she rejected your offer after you accepted and than rejected hers, saying you no longer had time to attend a party you had already said you could go to.

I HATE those things. I went to I think ONE. And when it became all the "rage" I just declined to go. Sorry. It's not my idea of fun. I'm not a big kitchen gadget person anyway. Or candles. Or jewelry. Or Or Or...

I don't even like when a salesperson is standing 2 racks over from me at a store. I feel like they are "hovering" waiting to pounce. Just leave me alone. If I can't find what I'm there for, I'll ask. Often, I don't even know if I even WANT anything... just looking checking out the latest style or debating if I need to update my wardrobe, or really need that cute lamp. Usually I don't. And I don't want to feel guilty when I walk away.

Being at one of those parties is like that in a store, times 10. Ugh. Yuck!

I think you probably missed a great chance to meet and get to know your neighbors. I think that some people use the sale as a means/reason/justification to even be able to throw the party in the first place. Usually at these kind of parties the product is not the entire focal point, but just an addition to having a get together, kind of as entertainment.

I would have gone to the parties. I always welcome a chance to get to know people in my community. I usually don't buy anything, but I end up having a good time getting to know people and getting out of the house. Most of the sales parties I have been to were really no different than a regular party, and most of them just had their presentations on a table for guests to look at and order as they wished. Sometimes they used the items during their events, like candles, dishes etc.

I think it was probably thought rude to cancel the night before the party, as the hostesses may have already bought refreshments and food to provide you. And I would think that you probably hurt their feeling a little too.

What I found interesting about your post is that you had the time to schedule attending, the money to buy two new outfits, and the interest in meeting new people. So all of that is negatively affected by a sales pamphlet that you had no obligation to buy anything from?:)

Anyways, maybe you should throw the kind of party you would like to attend and send an invite to those ladies.

I really don't like them either. First- I am not a huge fan of asking my friends to buy things they don't need so that I can make money. Second- I don't use scented candles or dip mixes, so I usually end up trying to find the cheapest thing in the catalogue to avoid being rude. Third, having to sit through the sales shpeal is not fun and not how I would define a "party".

Having said that, I usually get roped into one or two a year. I went to a Pampered Chef party last year that was actually for charity and it was wonderful. Because people were not purchasing to benefit the hostess, but for a good cause, it was a little more fulfilling and less pressure.

This hostess is a supporter of the local women's shelter and all proceeds and designated purchases went directly to the organization. So... did I need a new set of kitchen towels? Nope, but the organization did! I ended up spending (tax-deductible) money on things that someone else needed, had a great time with some dear friends and ended up wining the raffle item... professionally catered dinner for 8 at my home! There was no "sales pitch" and items were casually placed around the house to look at and purchase, along with the catalogues and order forms. It was a really nice evening.

I've been to many of them. My favorites are the passion parties (or whichever company it happens to be, I don't know the names of them all) b/c they usually involve a lot more talking, laughing, and games. But I've been to Tastefully Simple, Scentsy, some jewelry ones, etc.
I don't generally enjoy the sales pitch part, but all the parties I've been to have only been maybe 20 min. of sales pitch and then sometimes hours of conversation, food, etc. And being an Army wife, it can be hard to meet new people, so these parties are a great way to make new friends =)
Oh, and I never feel pressured to buy anything. Maybe it's just my personality, or maybe it's the fact that when I accept the invitation, I usually say something like "I doubt I will be able to buy anything, but I'd love to come anyway!" And none of the hostesses ever have a problem with that. I think they partially just want to socialize, too =)

I'm with you. When I get the invitation for a sales party I look at it as an invoice.

I usually decline because I am "busy".

We did have 1 couple invite us to a "party" and we were planning to attend. About 1 hr before the "party" I found out it was a tasting for Monavie and a marketing ploy to sign people up. When I found that out, I called and said we would not be able to attend.

It took about a year but we are all friends again. I simply said we don't mix our business with friends.

I hate the parties and the uncomfortable feeling when a so called friend is trying to sell something.

Hi L., I don't like to be unsupportive of my friends and neighbors business adventures, but I DESPISE sales parties. I won't go either, you're not alone!

It really depends on who is throwing it, and the "politics" around it. I, luckily, have never been invited to a party only to find out it was a sales party. Everyone has been very upfront about it. My neighbor had one and I was really excited to go and meet some people, but ended up having to travel that day. I even went to a sex toy party just to get out of the house and meet some people. I have never felt pressured to buy anything, and usually don't. There was a co-worker's mom that threw one that I felt I needed to go to since it was all work people, but it definitely is low on my priorities if something else comes up.

If I actually had a life, I would say no to all the sales parties, but since I don't, it is a way for me to get out. Being tricked though is wrong, and I would have felt just like you, and declined.

Ugh, I do not like those things either.. Guess what? YOU do not need an excuse to hold a party.. You invite a group of neighbors and have them bring a friend and all of you just get to know each other.. Hang out.. Good food some wine..

We also used to gather each friday evening with our kids moms and dads.. We would bring whatever we had for snacks and drinks.. It was some of our best memories.. If we saw other neighbors arriving home, even when we did not know them and they did not have children, we would invite them to bring a chair and join us..

After reading the responses I decided to respond. I sell Mary Kay and can not believe that these two neighbors misled you. Every party I have put on or been invited to it was known upfront on company invitation what type of party was to be held. I usually will attend other home parties as well, especially if it's something that I know I'll use. If it's something I know I wouldn't buy then I'll go for the socialization. I've met a lot of friends that way and some have been around 10 years of friendship.

To read that so many have had such a bad experience with many companies is sad to hear. I know several consultants that can take a no and would love to be invited to a birthday party or a girls night and never mention their business or sales. For the person who said that she wants to tell them to get job I really wish she would look more into what a successful home business takes. Most of it is done during a 2 hour party with friends but there is more to it. The difference is we want to be able to stay home with our children and still bring in an income. You come in contact with people selling stuff all the time, they are jut selling you the hamburger and getting you to upgrade to the large fries or selling you shoes and talking you into the more expensive socks. We are women trying to make a living with a product we ourselves love. I started selling Mary Kay because I was using the product and wanted to get it for half price. When bills were tight I would sell product and a bill would get paid but I still had a full time job working 50 hours a week, sleeping very little, and hardly ever seeing my son. I finally realized what it would take to make the same amount of money and be able to see my kids grow up and it no longer made sense to work for someone else.

Well either way I would hope that in the future you would attend a home party because I think you would meet many friends and enjoy a night out. If you do decide to go to one, start with one with something you think you might use. Whether it be makeup or cookware or jewelry you may find something you would love to have and get to meet new friends.

Nope, I won't go either. My friends have stopped inviting me because I never go!

That would irritate me. But I would still go... and then make a point of not buying anything! ("Oh, since I didn't know it was a sales party until the last minute, I didn't budget for it! Sorry!") I keep getting invited to Scentsy, Gold Canyon, Pampered Chef, Tastefully Simple, Lia Sophia... it goes on and on and on. Most of this stuff is outrageously priced! You can buy similar things at Target most of the time (although Pampered Chef does offer a lifetime warranty, which I've taken them up on on numerous occasions). But I still like going to the parties - it's fun to hang out with girlfriends, talk, relax away from the hubby and kids for a little while. I just ignore any and all sales pressure, unless I see something I really want to buy.

I hate the very idea of sales parties! No worries. Just make new friends who want to hang out with you when they aren't getting paid to do so.

I've been to a couple, but I hate it. I never buy anything so I feel guilty. On the upside, they've always been upfront about it, so I knew what I was getting into. I think I would be extremely angry to discover what I thought was a party was a sales party.

You have every right to stick to your principles as far as avoiding sales parties. But, since you had already agreed to go, you might have missed out on a chance to have fun and get to know these women better.
I don't really care for the "selling" portion of things, but the parties I've been to were always really fun with good food and snacks provided. There was no pressure to buy anything. Many of these parties give points for how many people attend and then give more points if someone else books a party. I know a gal who did a Pampered Chef party because there was something she wanted. So...she had a party, got points, her sister booked a party and she was able to get the item she wanted that way. By the time she paid for all the awesome refreshments, she probably could have just bought the dang thing, but she likes entertaining and it was a reason for everyone to get together that way. Just attending these things can be a way of supporting someone else, even if you don't buy anything.
It's too bad you felt misled. I don't think they were deliberately trying to trick you or anything. You heard party and assumed something completely different, but the parties I've attended, the "selling" wasn't the biggest part of it.

Like I said, nothing wrong with sticking to your principles, but you might have missed out on a fun time. If you had attended their parties, they likely would have been happy to help you with your luncheon and supported you in that as well.

Just a thought.

That was so wrong of them. I don't mind attending if i am close to the person and they have told me in advance. I had an old friend catch up with me on facebook. She invited me to one a week later. Then had the gall to say "dont forget your checkbook". Needless to say, my rsvp was a NO. There is a way to be honest and classy about it. These women are tacky.

L., I have a home-based business and hate sales parties, so I don't do them. I have done some in the past. One time the hostess did not tell the people she invited what it was until they got there! It was one of the worst evenings of my life because they thought I told her to do that. Some of the people said they actually would have been very interested if they had known what they were coming to.
Since they were not up front with you, I don't think you were being rude to decline to come.
Victoria

i have gone three times. the first time i bought nothing. there is no way i was going to buy junk jewelry worth 5-60 bucks. i think the line was called silpada but it was not my taste jewelry, so i didn't feel bad one bit for not buying anything. 2nd and 3rd parties were for pampered chef. i bought some around 50 each for each party, and then i told both my friends to skip inviting me next time because this stuff just clutters my kitchen. they weren't offended and i am personally done
so i wouldn't care one bit for not going

You accepted an invitaton to "a party". Once you found out it was a "sales party" you declined. Totally acceptable in my book.

You accepted under the impression that it was just a party with friends. Not one that you had to remember to bring your wallet.

Besides a "party" is where you get together with friends, get to know one another and new ppl, laugh, share stories, etc.

Going to a "party" to listen to one person try to sell you something the whole night is not a "party" IMO.

Bummer! Making friends is so nice and being disappointed like this is the worst. I don't go to sales parties, but am invited often. I always RSVP that I can't make it but thank you. I really like your approach that you just don't do sales parties. I need to start and say that also. If you ever find a fabulous way to make real friends, please pass it along!

You were misled. I have given a few of these parties and I have attended a few of them. She really should have been up front about it. I usually go to a few of the candle, make up, or home decorating, but never any mlm's.
Some people are so busy and driven that even socializing has to serve a purpose. Double edged sword.

I think it's very wrong that they both misled you, and it says a lot about the type of friend they are that neither has called you since.

I work for one of the sales companies, so I do home parties. I ALWAYS make sure that the invite says that it's a sales party and provide some info about my company so that the attendees know why they are coming.

Sometimes, I've done parties where it's been an event (like through a moms group) and I'll call it a "playdate" so they know kids can come too, but even then I still put in the description of the event that my product will be on display and anyone interested can make a purchase. I never just spring it on people at the last minute. I don't think it's a good way to do business.

And even though I work for one of these companies, I actually rarely attend home parties for other companies. I know I can't generally afford to make purchases (and in many cases don't like the products enough anyway), so I turn down the invite rather than attend and not buy anything. I always feel guilty not buying since I know how frustrating it can be for the seller.

I don't care for them, but I still don't mind the opportunity to get pretty and go out. I never feel pressure to buy anything that I don't want, but the conversation can be quite entertaining. Also, there's often a free gift just for showing up and participating. It's not always easy to get over the fact that you feel duped or offended, but once you do get over that, you can have a good time. You might even go home having made another friend or two.

Nope- I have never had a good time at those parties and I don't have money. I have gone to some thinking that they might be fun and we can still visit, but the fact is that the seller spends the whole time talking and showing off things and I walk away wishing I'd done something more productive with my time.

I do not attend sales parties. I feel like I would be wasting the salesperson's energy because I would not buy anything. The only exception was one time when a Mary Kay rep came to my house and gave me a personal demonstration and sales pitch. I bought one thing from her then, but never again.

They should have said up front, "I'm having a Tupperware party, or I'm having a Pampered Chef party, etc." I used to sell Tupperware, and I would never throw a party without announcing that Tupperware was the theme! The companies don't really want you doing that either because it cheapens their brand and looks like their sales people are trying to trick you into something (and you felt that way -didn't you?). I would have gone and not gotten anything if I didn't want anything, but used it as an excuse to have a night out and some wine and talk to my neighbors.

I don't think it's right they didn't tell you up front what the "party'' was for. I don't care for them either but if it's a close friend or family member who's having the party I'll go just to get out and socialize. I usually don't buy anything. My good friend had one recently and I was dreading it so bad b/c I didn't know any of the other ladies that were coming but I'm so glad I went. They had awesome products for organizing and I cannot wait until my order is in.

When people come by and say they are having it, but no pressure... then they email you with an online brochure, or bring them to your house so you can order, or the party host person says if you all purchase so much in products, then the host will win this beautiful necklace.... then yes, there is pressure to buy.

I just tell people up front I can't afford to go and wish them luck! If it's for a really good friend, or I am bored that night, maybe I will go, but I always get buyer's remorse if I buy, and guilt if I don't.

They should have told you right from the start. That's not right. I don't like them either, but I have been to a couple of them. One was at a neighbor's house right after we moved here and I wanted to meet our neighbors! Both parties had great food and nice women to talk to. But even though I didn't need anything I did feel pressure to buy something (even though no one pressured me) and ended up buying small things I did not really want. I guess I wouldn't go to tons of these but I am glad I went to the two I did bc it was nice to meet people and get to know them.

.

A friend of mine went to one of those where the hostess served alcohol, which got everyone in a good mood, and more likely to buy.
but i also hate those parties and am usually glad that I am working when people tend to throw them. if I happen to be off, I usually find some excuse to get out of it. I did attend a few years and years ago, but I didn't buy anything.... i usually feel guilty about that, so I tend to skip them when possible.
if you haven't heard from them since, they must not have been real friends, and good riddence!

I never go to these either. I used to go but started getting invited to so many so frequently that I became a little exasperated. The items are usually so expensive, and let's face it, the hostesses don't want you there buying one $6 eyeliner or not buying anything. My friend just went to one for children's clothing and said she bought the cheapest thing she could find which was $84.

I said no enough times to everyone that I don't get invited to sales parties anymore. I usually just politely decline without getting into the reason... which is that I find them really annoying and overpriced and completely not worth the time away from my husband and children. For what I would spend between my purchase and a sitter, I could spend a really nice evening out with my husband or a good friend.

If they haven't called you back then I wouldn't worry about it unless you are really interested in forging a friendship with them. If you are interested, then invite them over for dinner.

I'm somewhat repeating what others have said
but want to throw in my two cents anyway.

I have never EVER heard of being invited
to a SALES-type party without being told up-front
that it's a Tupperware or crystal or whatever party.

As I read your description, especially
when you said the two hostesses are friends,
it occurred to me that the sales person may have made an offer,
that if they could get however many people COMBINED,
with however much $$$ in sales, that they would BOTH
get some kind of extra prize.

Seems to me that would have been a great incentive for the hostesses.
I'm going to guess, however, that the ssshhh secret part
was their own idea, not the sales person's.

In any event, I totally agree that you were absolutely right
in saying "No, thank you. I'm not interested in this kind of party."
And your disappointment was (more than) reasonable.

Also, FWIW, I used to ENJOY Tupperware parties . . . .
way back in the middle of the last century.
The sales person was usually entertaining and informative,
and I liked the little games and silliness.

S.

I am not down with the home sales "parties" either. I am afraid I will blurt out something like: "Get a job. I can shop online". I routinely say no to lia sophia, pamper chef, southern living, tastefully simple, silpada...But I confess. I have said yes to wine parties and I have even bought wine at them. But I guess I have only ever done it with friends or people I was positive would make it more party than sales.

I love party sales shows I just attended 1 last month to a neighbor that is very shy just like me I even told her that I was glad she came to my garage sale a month before or I probably wouldn't of ever said HI to her as we are now chatting small talk and waving to eachother she is very nice.I use to host these back before kids but then after no time.Anyway if she invited you it should of been with an invitation from the personal independent rep. she is holding one for perhaps she thought that it would be a good idea to invite you maybe get to know you a little.I don't mind if you come to mine and buy very little as I often do or a ton of things that'll end up in the back of your closet.Since it has been 6 months have you seen her at all to wave HI at the very least?Don't let it get you down she either took it personally or just doesn't like you..You have other things to worry about.If another one arises just cancel that one too and move on

its just an excuse to get together. if you like something then great if not then you dont have to buy anything. i go to sales partys. its not my thing i dont feel one way or another about it. i think its odd that you were willing to take the time to go to the partys before you knew they were sales partys. it is really just a filler for time and let the women feel like they did something perhaps make a little money but most of the time they dont. i know a woman that is a avon sales rep but only gets together to give the free trial samples. she has partys for that and says"she dosent really sell anything but she can she just likes to give out the free samples".

I always decline those parties, it's usually not hard to tell that's what it's going to be.....seriously she never gave you a clue that it was tupperware, candles, home decor, Mary Kay... at all? I've never been invited to one that it wasnt totally obvious that it was going to be one. If they were really trying to trick you into coming that is just extremely rude in my book. Next time you see her at the mailbox you should say "If you would have been honest about the intentions of your party I may have purchased something, your technique leaves a lot to be desired..." Of course, she is one of your neighbors so you may as well just let it go so as not to create a higher wall.

I have mixed feelings about those parties. Some of the products I love, so I don't mind going. I LOVE Creative Memories Scrapbooking so going to a crop and then getting shown the latest Creative Memories stuff is a lot of fun! However, the Longaberger Baskets are WAY too expensive for a BASKET, and baskets aren't my decor. Party Lite candles are very expensive candles so no way on those either! Mary Kay is awesome, I love seeing new makeup. Pampered Chef was great when I was a newlywed stocking up my kitchen, but now my kitchen is overstocked so I'm not interested.

I think inviting you first and then letting you know it's a sales party was a mean tactic, so I don't blame you for canceling on that principle alone. However, I wouldn't knock ALL sales parties until you know the products. If it's something you're interested in, why not? I may never have gotten into scrapbooking if it hadn't been for my friend's party, and that has become a lifelong hobby for me.

I agree that you should host a real party and invite your neighbors. I don't consider sales parties to be "parties" anyway and for a while that was the only times my friends got together and it became annoying. Sometimes it's just nice to see people to see them and not have pressure to buy!

I don't blame you at all I think most of the women on this board can relate. I had an instance very similair. A neighbor invited us over for dinner explaining all the other neighbors would be there. Like you we were excited to meet our neighbors and also brought our kids since she offered. when we arrived we were greeted by the sales lady for some pots and pans that were extremely expensive but that wasn't even the point. She couldn't have been any tackier in my opinion by not letting anyone know. she didn't have any appetizers just offered drinks and no one got to visit we were given catalogs as soon as we arrived. It was ridiculous. I was so offended and frustrated that my kids hadn't eaten and they had no food until after the presentation where you knew they were going to bug you to buy I simply apologized explained none of us had eaten and the kids were going to become a nusance for them.
I don't blame you one bit for response or your feelings. Completely normal you should be told ahead of time,afterall that's part of the decision in going. I wouldn't worry about getting to know these people and count my blessings I get invited constantly to parties for both friends and people I barely know and it's always uncomfortable. if you can't go they send you brochures and invite you to the next party and if you buy you opened a whole other can of worms. Keep your motto and they will know where you stand it's actually a smart motto think i'm going to try it. I have yet to figure out how stay at home moms feel comfortable asking others in the same position for money only for personal gain knowing exactly where these other ladies stand financially? I wouldn't do it!

I totally admire you for declining their sales parties. That is unreal that they didn't even tell you what it was when inviting you, very sneaky and rude. I don't like sales parties at all. I have a neighbor who is very social. And honestly, I do believe she has had quite a few of these parties over the years just as an excuse to entertain, and also as she says, to help out her friends who are under pressure to sign other people up to host parties. Just because I like her quite a bit, I have gone to a few of these. My friend herself isn't a high pressure person, but at each of these parties is a "consultant" who is all business, and I just feel so uncomfortable being such an obvious target. I buy something just to be polite to my friend, but I hate it. And then I end up regretting it. One consultant kept asking me over and over again throughout the evening if I would be willing to host a party. And it is always so pointed out, the lovely gifts the hostess gets based on what the party generates. Nope, don't like them. I did decline the last one, and was honest that I just didn't like the sales thing, and my friend totally understood. However, since my daughter got invited over to play I ended up over there anyway, and buying something overpriced. I'm determined in the future to be a little more firm in my "no thanks"

They way that they did it is sooo shady. I am a Pampered Chef consultant, mostly because I love PC and you gets tons of free stuff for being a consultant.

Anytime that I did a party, very few, I have always made sure that all guests know in ADVANCE that it is a PC party. I tell them that yes there will be products shown and there will be a chance to buy, but that we will also be tasting recipies and socializing. I have really only done parties for friends and only when they ask me to. I am the least pushy sales person and there have been many people that attended and not bought (more usually do buy though). I think that so many people are familiar with PC products you really don't have to be pushy most people come in knowing what they want to buy. I will usually attend sales parties just to check things out. I do not attend make up parties however, because I am allergic to most of the things they put on you and I have found certian ones to be very very pushy.

you are not wrong here. that is so odd that they did not tell you that they were for sales. that has never happened to me I get invited to them all the time and i always know what they are for ahead of time. I would not worry about it you dont need friends that are not really friends ie dont tell you why they are having you over. xo

L.,

Just recently I had a question about a product I purchased 7 yrs from a sales party. After talking with the consultant I decided that I was interested in looking at the new stuff. I called about 5 close friends and ask them if they would be interested in coming to a party. All 5 said yes. I then called the consultant back and scheduled a party. We had a great time. All of my friends and I agreed that the consultant is one of those rare people who bring joy into the lives of others. Not because she sells stuff but because of who she is.

I'm not going to try to persuade you to attend a sales party. But I do want to say that you never know who you might meet there.

As for getting to know your neighbors better, I would schedule cocktail hour at my house or host a dessert block party. I hosted a block party to get to know my neighbors about a month after I moved into a new neighborhood.

~K.

I believe you were totally misled. They should have told you upfront it was a sales party. I hate sales parties as well because i know someone is going to try to sell me something before the night is over. I avoid them like the plague!

K.
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