No Room for Christmas Toys

I've got a kid like that! And I admit, I get rid of stuff when he's at school, etc. You know her well enough to know what she does and does not play with. Go through and choose some stuff she'll never miss. Donate it to a good cause. And don't look back.

Man this girl is smart - she knows she's in control! So that being said - YES go thru her toys when she's not home. Box up the stuff that looks to you like 'baby' toys that are way beyond her age-range. And spend a week watching her play to see what she really does like a lot.

And let's say you don't clean out her closet and she gets 10 toys at Christmas. Tell her (or have hubby tell her) that she must get rid of one toy of equal size for every toy that she wants (ie - I'll give you this barbie, but you must give away one doll or stuffed animal. You can open this board game, but you must get rid of one puzzle or another board game you don't use). ** Be ready for ugly looks from family if they hear that SD isn't playig with her new toy yet b/c you won't let her.**

My son is 2.5 and we make his CHristmas presents last a month or two. He unwraps all gifts on Xmas day, but we wont "open" the package of all of them. We'll save a few for him to open up a few weeks later when he's getting bored with the other ones.

When my daughter started hoarding, I made it very clear to her that if she didn't go through her things herself and donate what SHE chose, that I would do it one day when she wasn't home and donate what I chose. I also assured her that what I chose would be almost all of it. I gave her a deadline of maybe 2 weeks or so, and reminded her of the deadline a couple of days before. She wasn't happy about it, but she DID do it, and was thrilled with all of the space she ended up with.

Get some plastic bins and just clean it out when she's not there. Show her where the stored stuff is but let her know what you are not bringing it back into the room. Just be firm, she sounds like a baby hoarder. Maybe you can call a shelter or a pediatric ward and ask if they take toy donations. She can spend a day sorting out what toys she would like to give to sick and needy children and put them in the bins herself, that would give her closure on getting rid of them.
She needs to learn that we have to do "out with the old in with the new" from time to time. Just explain to her that you cant enjoy any of your stuff if you have so much that it smothers you. I think if you really talk to her and give her the bins and dont give her any other choices other than "this bin is for what we will donate to some other little girls and this bin is going to be put in storage", that way she knows the stuff has to all go in bins, there is no other choice. If she still chooses to not face reality, then I think it's fair to take it upon yourself to weed out the stuff when she's not home. She is only 9 and needs to learn that what Mom says goes, period. She's lucky you are trying to be diplomatic. You dont have to be. You could just take all the stuff and do whatever you want with it, lots of moms would.

My husband works at the police dept and we go thru their toys quite often for chldren that are less fortunate. Lastyear when they were given a WII they even agreed to give their PS3 to a children's shelter. This is all stuff that they have to do in their own in a way, but they also have to be taught. I wouldn't suggest just boxing it up & dropping it off because then she's not really seeing what it's doing.

Daycare centers can be picky about things - some only want new quality, new batteries, this & that - what about a church that has a day care or if you contact your town to see if they could maybe help you. It can also be difficult because a lot of times places only accept new toys - but I'm sure you could even find someone who may be starting their own daycare who may be interested in . My older daughter isn't as generous as my youngest, but we still have her do this this because otherwise we'd need a mansion to house all of the toys. Good luck.

Have you ever thought that maybe she just has enough stuff? I mean how many toys can she play with? I bet most of her stuff never comes out of that closet...
Maybe you can talk to her about what she could wish for for Christmas that isn't a toy and tone down the materialistic aspect of the occasion a bit?

Other than that, yes, I would go though her stuff and put some away in storage, but include her in the decision to donate her toys.
Good luck.

I agree with Janey, tell her it is going to happen with or without her. but having said that you can tell her that if she want's to make a box of "remember when" toys she can do that. give her a box and make it a big packing box. tell her to choose some things from each age (baby on up to now) and that she can keep as much as fits in the box it will be hers forever but that it has to be packed away so that he room is who she is now. and that all the other baby stuff has to be donated. if you have a battered womens shelter in your town take her there to donate good toys. they are always in need. or a homeless shelter although they don't really have room as the people have to leave each day and comeback at night. some daycare centers will accept toys but not little random stuff mostly stuff that is very durable. don't give her an option about it happening give her a choice about where it goes.

santa is giving and so must be we. for every toy she put on a list is a toy she must donate to children in need . simple as that she is 9 she gets it

I agree with Grandma T and Anne L. I purchased two plastic toy chests. If it doesn't fit in the chest, it has got to go. When getting new toys, I remind her that if it doesn't fit in the chest, she has to pick something that is already in there that has to go. I also ask family members to get her magazine subscription, which she loves. I also request gift cards for things that can get used up like McDonalds, Subway, Blockbuster, a bookstore, mini golf, the movies, etc. She also has a Wii at her dad's house and a DS at home. She makes a x-mas list and will sometimes get a game for one of these or a gift card for Game Stop so she can purchase her own. Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Payless Shoes gift cards are nice because she can pick out an outfit or some shoes that she really wants. She once got a photo album, a disposable camera and $7 to develop the film. We really try to minimize junk, which is really hard. Hope this helps.

I think it's mean to sneak stuff away when she's gone. 9 is old enough that she will notice. I assume "SD" stands for stepdaughter. Are you and her father her primary caregivers? Perhaps she is hoarding her toys because she doesn't feel a sense of security, shuttling between two homes. I don't suppose you can have her store some of her toys at her mom's house?

Is there a toy that she really wants that she doesn't have? Maybe she can "trade in" a lot of old toys for a few new ones. Also, maybe put the word out to your family that she has enough toys and ask them to make donations to her college fund instead. Or ask for things like memberships to local amusement parks or tickets to a show that don't take up space.

If you think it would work, you could also tell her that her toys don't like to be stuffed in the closet or under the bed, that they want to be played with, and that they would rather go to kids who will play with them.

Good luck.

churches do and she will never miss them trust me I did this with my son alot. :) no its not mean cause she wont realize you did it. :) tell her right now there are alot of mommies and daddys who need help with christmas this may make her willing to part with them. and list them on craigslist for free. I went on looking for a christmas tree and I seen alot of listings for people asking for tree donations cause they cant afford one and also christmas gifts or clothes so they will have something for thier kids on christmas. :)

I have an 8 year-old daughter and we live in a one bedroom condo. She has come to understand that there is limited room for toys. I do clean out when she isn't here, but mainly just broken,, used up, or trashy (happy meal type) stuff. She doesn't miss those. For larger items, we have the option of bringing to Dad's (3 bedroom + playroom) house so that her younger nieces and nephew can play with it. So that makes decision-making easier. She is understanding that others don't have as much, several of her friends have had no toys-only charity donations Birthday parties. We keep xmas presents to a minimum in our family.

My daughter is nearly 6. Her birthday is 5 days before Christmas. She's overly blessed with gifts every year. Two months ago I cleaned house when she was not around. This included her room and a couple toy bins in the living room. The "stuff" was split between donations and trash. There was a lot of trash. I did not get rid of things that she currently plays with.

I never said anything, but she did notice her room was clean. She's never noticed or even asked about the toys. She's able to keep her room cleaned up much easier as well.

If I thought she could handle going through everything me with, she would have. I'll do this regularly, and we have a rule now of "when something new comes in, something else has to go".

Have her visit a family with no toys or someone in need of toys. She may be in a giving spirit after she sees kids who are less fortunate. Also, tell her in order to get more toys, she has to part with some. Just make it a rule.

I always packed stuff I didnt think they were playing with in boxes and put in attic when they werent home. They NEVER noticed or asked for the stuff back.

My kids are 11 and 8 and my hubby and I litterally spent all day saturday getting rid of stuff in my sons room and all day today doing my daughters. Not only did we get rid of stuff they no longer play with, but we cleaned and rearranged their entire rooms. They go to their dads every other weekend so we had the weekend to ourselves (what a FUN way to spend it!). that being said, she is your step dtr, right? So there are times when she's not home. Tell her you have noticed she has WAY TOO MUCH STUFF and give her a big trash bag to fill up with things she wants to give to needy kids. Now, you know she isn't going to put anything in there except for a couple broken crayons (that's what mine did!!). so you tell her if she isn't able to do it, then you will do it for her. I reminded my kids that this weekend we were going to clean out their rooms since they didn't do it on their own. I said what are your favorite things you want to keep? they each told me several things (Bakugans, train set, books, coloring stuff, mighty beans, etc.). So we kept those things they mentioned, put all like items in their own boxes, places and got rid of everything else (including clothes, shoes, bags, purses, etc). they came home tonight and were THRILLED! we walked them around their rooms and showed them where everything was and they both even mentioned how nice it was that we "bought" them new stuff!!! We said we didn't, you've had that the whole time! So we also told them they were to keep up with putting things away and we are going to keep on top of them DAILY. So that is the plan. Maybe you can try that. We also have lots of empty space to add more xmas stuff when it comes. Good luck to you!!!

I box or bag things up and then leave it there. When she asks why they are in the box, I tell her that is the stuff that has to be donated. She will usually go through it and pull a thing or two out and then leave the rest. I usually tell her they are just the baby toys.

A lot of the books I sold at our United Way used book sale. Otherwise, I garage sale and donate.

As for her pile of toys from her October birthday, we are still opening them. I will only allow her to open one toy carton per week. I make sure she plays with the item and finds a place for it before she can open the next carton. That way she knows how to use the toy and isn't overwhelmed.

Can you split the difference?

Box up toys that aren't used in clear bins and label (dolls, toddler stuff, art, old notebooks, etc.)... and stack them in the garage. That way she still "has" them, and can find them easily... but has room for new things. I'd suggest doing it while she's gone and coming in through the garage so you can show her the new "organizing system"... instead of keeping it secret.

For myself I'm quasi-eidetic. I can look at a My Little Pony from when I was 5 and distinctly remember the 40 some odd "great adventures" that go along with said pony. Including a few minutes prior and post. ALL my stuff has memories attached to it. I can't recall them without a prop, but with the prop, I get it all back. From the feel of the carpet under my knees... to my mum cooking dinner to the purple brush in my hand to my sister hanging upside down off the bed making "Is this annoying?" sounds. It's physically painful for me to "get rid" of things... but anything I "store" may as well read "abandoned". But I can't throw them out (I cry, it's really really really hard).,, so I box things up neatly and store them for perpetuity. My own mum is kind of the same. Irritated my father no end (boxes of barbies and hotwheels and odds and ends) until my son, their first grandson, was born and OUT all those toys came. They didn't have to spend a dime on new toys, because all of the boxed ones were "new" again.

Of course, she may well be able to donate sterile looking boxes of stuff marked "toddler toys" later on... but for now... it gets them out of her room and one step closer to "outta here".

Don't try to convince her and don't sneak any of her stuff away.
You don't need to ask us if sneaking stuff out would be mean.
You know it is.
It sounds to me that you're very good at making things fit in the available space. I think you can rearrange her closet so that you'll have some room to put stuff away for Xmas. And your closet and ?? tops of cabinets
in the kitchen, hall, laundry room. ??
Under the bathroom sink? The kitchen sink?
You can tackle the <let's get rid of stuff> with her at another time.
In particular, around Xmas time when more stuff will be coming in.
Please don't risk doing something that will traumatize your SD.
Good luck.

I agree with the idea of "splitting the difference".....go through her room and organize it with her, if that is going to work. Tell you that you are NOT going to throw anything away or donate it to any organization. Have boxes ready and have her help you make decisions about what she honestly plays with and what is just there taking up space. If she balks at this idea tell her that is has to be done....that her room is so stuffed full that she can't even play and she would be so much happier being able to invite a friend over to play etc etc. Store the boxes somewhere, the basement the garage...and in 6 months or a year...have her go through things with you and make some real decisions about what stays and what goes.
Somehow you need to use this as a teaching moment...that "more" is not always better.I would also ask your husband ( since this is his daughter) to contact the family members on both sides and explain the situation to them...ask them to reign in the gift giving flood. Maybe they could come up with a gift that doesn't take up space...how about a subscription to a magazine that she could enjoy or a gift membership to the local zoo or childrens museum? Maybe they could even start a college education savings account...find a small gift to give her and then put the majority of the money they wanted to spend on her into that account. Her Dad or a grandparent could have their name on the account to...so she doesn't have unfettered access to it. Or they could buy savings bonds that aren't to be cashed in until she is ready to start college!!! She won't be thrilled with this monetary Christmas but you can explain the reasons to it for her and in a few years...when she is starting college she will LOVE it!!!
But don't make this into a war...use it to teach her that there has to be moderation in everything in life. Excess is never ever good!!!

Mom, tell your daugther that you will be going thru her toys one day while she is at school but she can go thru them b4 you and she take them to Goodwill or a homeless shelter/food bank.Pull out and old , broken toys and get rid of the junk that is trash, pull out any toys that you know she has not played with in 1 yr and put those in a box. Let her have a day to look thru those toys and pull out any favorites but insist the majority go. Ask her if she wants to go with you to take them to the Goodwill or not and go. Some daycare centers may take them but wouldnt you rather give them to less-fortunate children? I had to start doing this same cleaning at about the same time but always did it when our daughter was not home, but I let her know in advance and we did it this way, I think children have a hard time giving up toys that they no longer play with , they get an emotional attachment to some, so let them keep these. AT about age 11-12 they will start doing it themselves which is great. Hope this helps.

I think it is healthy to teach our children how to organize and not be hoarders. It is also healthy and a great lesson to teach our children that things are just things and not the most important things in life.
It is okay to take the upper hand and use this time to teach your daughter a great life lesson. Maybe you can find a children's shelter and you can donate stuff together.
Just my two cents.
R.