Night Terrors and Irrational Fears

Hi M.,

My son had night terrors. I disovered he had food intolerances. Changed his diet, no more night terrors. Wheat and corn caused it for him.

Good luck,
: ) Maureen

Hi M.,

I'm going through the same thing with my 3 year old daughter right now--fear of the dark.

Almost every night (although for the past 3 nights now, she has not woken up and stayed in her own room until morning! Whoo Hoo!)around 2 - 3 am, like clockwork she either calls out for me incessantly (from under her covers which she has pulled over her head) or finally gets up the nerve to jump down from her bed and go running into our room. And she has to plop down right in the middle of me and my husband (even the end of our bed is too scary). Even between us, she tries to pull the sheet up over her head. She is honestly clearly afraid.

This morning (she came running in close to 6 am)we lay in the bed and again talked about her fears. I asked what she was afraid of, and she told me "monsters." I explained that monsters are just a part of her imagination and reassured her that she's safe here in her home. She explained that she feels like her room is scary with the closet and it's too dark. She asked if we could leave her daisy light (it's a nightlight that hangs on her wall)on from now on. She came up with her own solution! (She even went into her room this morning to turn on the daisy light to get ready for tonight.)

I am also more vigilant about monitoring what she watches or reads, to make sure it's age appropriate. I've found that even if she's in the room playing while my husband and I are watching a "safe" TV show, there are some commercials that come on that could potentially stir up fear in a small child.

As others have said, it's just a stage. Your son will get through it. My older son (11 years old) was once afraid also. Now, we can't get him OUT of his room! :-)

One more thing...hang in there with the secondary infertility. I also went through this. That's why there's such a gap between my kids. But lo' and behold, although it took 2.5 years of trying to conceive without any medical intervention, my little miracle baby (the one who I write about above) graced us with her presence!

All the best.

Hi M.,

I am a Christian Mom also and what we found when our daughter was small even into her teens..We would pray the sciptures over her sleep and dreamlife that the Lord would watch over her and us...We prayed Psalm 91 and Psalm 4 a lot at bedtime...just use a concordance by subject and speak God's Word over your family..It really works and brings much peace to the home...

God bless you and your family.

M. C.

Hi M.~
My son who is now 8 1/2 had these same night terrors when he was 4 years old. Initially my husband and I tried to wake him up to "snap him out of the screaming" but that was soooo hard. He would scream and actually break blood vessels near his eyes from screaming so hard. Our frien who is a pediatrician said it is normal for children to experience these as their imagination and general thinking processes are maturing but the thing to do is to just cover their eyes and help them lay back down slowly while talking to them calmly and reassuring them they are OK. He said it is not recommended that you wake a child st this point. Sure enough we tried that approach and it worked. The terrors lasted about 4 or 5 times but scarey enough to knock your socks off! Hope this helps and know they won't go on forever...just a phase to get through!!
A little bit about me: SAHM with three children, 7 in heaven from miscarriages, married to the most amazing and supportive husband!

My son is 10 and has been having night terrors since he was 2. Good thing about them, is they will NOT remember them, unlike nightmares. I have woken my son in the middle of a night terror before (it takes a lot to get them to wake up) and it hasn't done any damage as far as sleep problems or anything, he does wake confused, and I just lead him back to bed. It is very scary to see it, but if you don't want to wake him, just go to him and hold him and rock him until it's over (sometimes as long as 20 minutes) and then lay him back down, he'll be fine.

After 8 years of this I have never seen my son have more than 1 per night. He will also sleep walk and I just lead him back to his room (however I have put bells on all of our doors because he has been known to try to get out of the house while sleep walking - so look for that as well).

If you want to try to wake him during a night terror, you should bring him into a bright lit room and put a cold rag on his face, shake him gently and call out his name, it may take awhile, but it will work. Be careful with this though, he may seem like he's awake, but really not, listen to how he talks, if it sounds like it doesn't make sense, then he's still sleeping - my son would often say things like "the dragon, and the ball, coming down, a chair - want to hug"...but if you can ask him a question, "where is your lovey? (or favorite toy)" and he answers, then you'll know he's more coherent.

Good luck with this and let us know how it works out!
Best,
L.

First off this is all completely normal. And will give you advice as a Christian as your "about me" sections states you are and I wont worry about freaking you right out. LOL
Next my daughter has bee going through tough times with feeling scared in her own room. She now has 3 night lights and I have prayed over her sleeping issues for a long time and have to continue to do so. I have also thought about writing scriptures over her door frame and blessing them with annointing oils as well. My previous pastor did this every time they were in a new home and would also come to others homes as well to do so. Just sort of a way to cleanse it for you and your family.
Second, my son had terrible night frights. It's sounds like what your son has as well. I asked a few DR's about this. They key is not to wake them and there is nothing they could give me to do about it. I would comfort him as best I could during the episode and after 20-30mins he would calm down and sleep normal again. They said this is very common amoung children. This isn't reassuring at all. The whole house for quite some time is awake and freaked right out over this episode and nothing can be done. It was so frustrating, I know. Lets hope the prayers, etc. help.
My son did grow out of it. And some nights were better than others.
God bless!

For fears at bedtime, my daughter had me write a "no monsters allowed" sign to hang on her door. It worked for her.
Good luck,
J.

I do not have experience with this but have read about it a bit--the fears are not irrational to him so make sure you validate what he is saying. I would offer him a flashlight or some sort of "weapon" against these fears. I have hears a water spray bottle like the type to mist plants can work. This way the "taking care if it" is in his hands and he feels empowered and you are still able to sleep. The night terrors I can't help with, sorry and good luck, Nat

What you are describing does sound like a night terror, when your child wakes up screaming and crying, seemingly awake, but does not interact with you, and cannot be calmed. My daughter suffers from them occasionally, too. I have learned from workshops that the best way to handle night terrors is to leave the child alone. Since he is not really awake, he will not remember the event. But if you try to wake him up, then he will be disoriented, confused, and his sleep pattern will have been interrupted. It is really hard to sit and watch while your child screams and thrashes around, believe me, I know! But it really is best for him. Just remove any items around him that might cause him to hurt himself if he flails his head or arms. I learned from the workshops that children who are prone to night terrors can get them when they are overtired. If your child is still napping, then he might get a night terror at night if he missed his nap that day. Or if the went to bed later than usual the night before. Any situation in which he is overtired might trigger a night terror. We have learned to stick to our schedule as much as possible. It was hard, leaving evening events and family get togethers early so she could go to bed on time, but it was worth it when she got a good night's sleep. Good luck!

My son was a little older when he got night terrors. He did outgrow it. There might be something that is bothering him that causes his fears. Sit with him every night and read to him just before he goes to sleep. This special time is good for him. When he has these frights, it's similar to anxiety. His breathing will be out of sink. Try to get him to control his breathing by breathing in with a long breath and then out with a long breath. Do this until he calms down. Tell him to copy mommy and you do it too. When he controls his breathing, he will be in more control of his feelings too. That used to work for my son. It only took a few minutes and he was yawning and calming down in no time. He didn't even remember in the morning.

Dealing with something similar now, but not the waking up screaming (he wakes, but just comes to us and says he had a bad dream). I've spent some of today researching how to get a brighter night light for him as I think part of what my son is dealing with is fear of the dark. We're getting lots of questions at bedtime about different animals and if they can get in his room (everything from a tiger to a worm so far!). So I want more light in his room, but dont want to have a normal lamp just left on (too bright). Found you can get a lamp dimmer - just plug lamp into the lamp dimmer and then lamp dimmer into normal outlet and then can make the lamp as bright or dim as you want. I'll be getting one on my way home tonight from home depot. Perhaps something like that would help your son too? More light?
As for the waking at night I'd just continue to comfort him as best you can. Its a stage and there is not much you can do to stop it - just have to help him feel as comfortable as possible by talking to him and taking what he says seriously. Dont just brush it off or make light of it.
Good luck

My daughter deals with night terrors too (in fact, she had one last night). I have not been able to find anything to
"solve" them or lessen their time thus far - I just sit with her until it is over. The one thing they say NOT to do is wake them. Best of luck - if you find something that works, please share!!

And as far as the nightmares, what worked for us was a flashlight and putting one of her stuffed animals "on guard".