I have been a sahm off and on for 17 years. I have noticed that when I work it doesn't help much on the finances because we end up eating out more and spending on things we really don't need. Everytime I have worked my intention was to pay off bills but it never seems to happen that way, things tend to break down more so took it as a sign that I am not supposed to work because everytime I work the kids start going down hill with their attitudes, don't get any cooperation from anyone around the house so end up working double at work and at home, worn out and tired, and don't see the extra money as really helping at all other than feeling guilty and buying the kids more stuff they don't need or hubby spending more money as he is the big spender in our house.
What you need to do is write down your monthly bills and budget everything that you can think of like tithes, gas, groceries, and even the amount of stamps you need every month. It definately helps to have everything down as as you pay off that bill check it off. I usually write my budget for 3 months at a time and get it out every payday and pay off the bills and check off what has been paid, deduct the budget amounts and see how much is left for spending money so we have an idea what we have left to spend and what we want to do with it. Some months groceries may be cheaper from many items being on sale and can use that extra money for something else.
We rarely buy the kids clothes at stores unless they are 5.00 or less and jeans under 10.00, yes you can go and only shop clearance racks and get items that cheap. They get most of their clothes from their cousins or sometimes friends will give them clothes that they no longer want and sometimes they trade their clothes because their friends are also tired of some clothes and trade them. You can also go to garage sales or thrift stores and find brand new clothes with tags pretty cheap or clothes that didn't get worn but a few times.
We also disconnected the house phone to save some money because we really didn't use it more than a few hours a month and feel we can get along fine with just our cell phones.
If there is an Aldi close by shop there for most of your staple items. They don't have many name brand items but most of their food taste just as good or better than the name brands. My kids love their cereals better than the name brands and their soups better. The only items I don't buy there are tuna, spaghetti o's or whatever their brand is, bologna, and I am sure there are a few other items I forgot but for the most part we eat just about everything in that store and taste just as good or better than other stores brands and save a lot of money shopping there. I would even drive 40 miles to shop there if that was the closest one but would make it a once a month trip and get as much as you could as far as your staple foods that won't spoil fast and get what would spoil within a week or 2 but only what you would eat in that amount of time and not really stock up on those items but still cheaper to buy and eat for a week or 2 which will keep you out of your local more expensive grocery store a little longer. You can stock up on bread and freeze it, take it out and put in the fridge a day before you need it and you can have a month supply of bread which is a lot cheaper at aldi.
If your cell phone bill is high, shop around and see what plan is cheaper for your needs. We have the t-mobile basic family plan with 4 phones and is 100.00 a month for all 4 phones including all the taxes and fees, 750 daytime minutes, unlimited nights and weekends, unlimited t-mobile to t-mobile calling which a lot of our kids friends are on t-mobile so we rarely run over minutes. We don't have texting or any type of messaging or data plan on those and yes I have teens and they are surviving without it just fine. If you feel you have to have texting then add that to your plan for 20.00 more a month for all phones on your plan.
Figure out what meals you can cook for 5.00 or less, Spaghetti is a cheap meal or at least is for us because I buy a jar of sauce for 1.25 or less, pack of noodles for less than 1.00, buy hamburger on sale and only use 1 lb, I boil the noodles, cook the meat, then mix the sauce, meat, and noodles together in the big pot, this goes a lot farther and uses less sauce as most people put more sauce on their noodles when it is separated. We feed at least 5 people and have 2-3 containers (2-3 cup size) left over which I freeze for hubby to take to work for his lunch. Usually have a veggie with spaghetti too. Don't buy a lot of pre-cooked/fast meals as they are usually more expensive than making them. Watch sale ads for meat and buy in bulk (what you think you will eat in 3 months) when they are on sale, portion them out in freezer bags with the amount your family will eat for one meal and maybe add 1 serving if you want to overcook and freeze it like we do for hubby for his lunches at work.
We have a family of 5, grill or smoke meat at least 3 times a week and our grocery budget is 4-500 a month. We don't buy a lot of steak (maybe 2-3 times a year) but do buy a lot of chicken, pork chops, pork roast for pulled pork, hamburger, sometimes brisket if it's on sale, sometimes ribs and tenderloins when on sale. We buy a lot of fresh veggies and fruits, breakfast cereal under 2.00 a box at aldi, spaghetti at least once a week, tacos often. We rarely buy hot dogs or other lunch meats. Quick type foods we do buy are pizza pockets and frozen pizzas and usually eat those on nights on the run when we are too busy to fix a big meal.
As far as structuring your day, you have to figure that out on your own, try to do most of your housework during the day, do a few things each day and you won't have a ton to do on the weekends. The kids can help too and helps if you write down what you want them to do each day. I have my kids do 2 chores a day and that helps out a lot and doesn't take more than 15 minutes of their time. I notice it helps to write what you want each child to do and they do it better than when I make a list of chores that I want done and they need to pick 2. They don't do well with completing them that way but when I write down their name and the specific chore for them to do they usually do them right away and get them done. Must be a psychological thing that 2 chores listed under their name seems less than 6 chores listed on a piece of paper and pick 2. Same concept but they don't respond to that way as well. Your husband may be willing to help out on a few things but don't expect him to do a lot. I noticed my husband doesn't notice the dust and dirt much but he will be grumpy if the table is piled up and have stuff scattered on the floor or in the living room or dishes in the sink. If things are picked up, the dishes done, then he doesn't seem to worry about the rest of the house.
I am very involved in activities at church, kids in sports, teens hang out at our house a lot, so feel I am busy most of the time as if I am working a job and don't have a lot of extra time for housework so we all have to work together to keep the house at least presentable, it may not be spotless anymore like I used to keep it when the kids were little but at least it's not a pig-sty either. Most of our problem is we live in a small 1000 sq foot 3 bedroom house with tiny closets and not a lot of storage space so everything seems cluttered which makes me crazy but not much I can do about it. We bought a lot of new furniture which is twice the size of our old furniture and fills the rooms so not a lot of floor space either. Didn't realize that furniture is so much bigger now than it was 15 years ago and looks small in the stores.
We have at least 15 loads of laundry per week, dishes everyday, dusting at least twice a month, clean bathrooms at least once a week, kids rooms picked up, which they do their own, vacuum every few days, sweep and mop floors when needed at least 1-2 times a week. The extra stuff that doesn't get done every week--wiping base boards, blinds, ceiling fans, dusting, and a few other things I can't think of right now. Those get done when I find the extra time but don't stress over it.
Figure out what works for you and do a little each day and the housework won't get overwhelming like when you do it all at once. It will take some time to adjust to this new adventure in life but do what works for you.