New Stay at Home Mom - Blue Springs,MO

Updated on May 10, 2010
T.W. asks from Blue Springs, MO
11 answers

How do I be a stay at home mom? I quit my job and will be staying home with two small children. We are having to down size and really reduce our expenses. It was not cost effective for us for me to continue to commute 2 1/2 hr per day and pay child care too. I need advise on how to really cut the grocercy bills, structure my day, and make things easier for my husband. I have a part time job where I take the kids with me but the income from that is not dependable. General house bills are covered and are very low. We have no home phone but cell phones and they are not cheap. What should I be doing and how can I cut our food and necessity bills down?

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Thank you! Wow, there was a lot of good advise. This is my first week home with my kids. We don't have cable, gave it up over a year ago. I called my cell phone company and cut out the internet which saved about $20.00 a month. We don't have a home phone so it is my only link to the outside world besides the computer. We are going down to one vehicle until we can find a cheap get around town car. That will cut about $600 a month out of our budget. I am investing in a double jogging stroller so I can walk where I need to go during the day. I don't live in a small town but things are in walking distant and it will be great exercise and I still have 50 lbs to get off from my last child. On days I need the car I will drive the husband to work and pick him up. I am usually up before him and it will not be an issue. I am a pretty fruggle shopper and have recently started using coupons. My husband on the other hand is not. (He thinks he is.) He has this idea since he earns the money he is the one to do the food shopping. I sent him an inventory list of all the food we had in the house Monday. He was a little suprised at we did and did not have. I also went to receipes sites on the web, put in the kind of meat I had, and pulled up tons of receipes. I was able tofind ones where I had all or almost all the ingreidients for. Last night I made a very good Rosemary Herb chicken, potatoes, and carrots. It was very easy and I did not have to spend any money out of my pocket. I think once he realizes what I can cook with what we have he will let me do the shopping. If not he will get very hungry. We are on level pay on the electric and gas bills and we are very conserative and those bills have gone down over the past year because of it. I usually make things homemade but when I was working we did eat out a lot. That will change. I planned out the menu this week and all but one day stuck to it. My husband came home Monday and cooked which changed the menu for the day. Not complaining but was not prepared for that. We have a bed time routine going on and have been following it for three weeks which is very nice. I have set out a cleaning schedule and hope to get into the routine of following it once this week is over. Running lots of errands getting things settled with our changes.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Get O. of Dave Ramsay's Books, either Financial Peace or Total Money Makeover for a good, common-sense approach to living on what you make ans spending less than you make. Get rid of any credit cards and become a cash-only family!
You'll be amazed on the money you DON'T spend when you're not working.
Do you have an ALDI grocery store near you? They have unbeatable prices on produce and staples. Sometimes you can save 50% by shopping there.
Meal plans are essential. Spend less on groceries by planning your menu for the week. Eat a vegetarian meal once or twice per week.
Cook from scratch--no pre-packaged convenience foods--too expensive and less healthy.
Look for an Angel Food Ministries near you. There is NO minimum income requirement and it's cheap!
Check out www.couponmom.com to find the best deals in your specific grocery store. It's free!
Stay out of stores & malls so you're not tempted to spend money unless it's planned.
Cut back or eliminate your cable bill/services.
Get prepaid cells so you can budget for the usage.
Go to the websites of your local utility companies for money saving tips.
Cancel newspaper subscriptions.
Shop at thrift stores. You'll be amazed at what you can find there!
Find free things to do with your kids in your area: library, parks, etc.
As for time management, check out www.flylady.net for some great time strategies.
Good luck and welcome to the hardest job you'll ever have! But also the most rewarding!

2 moms found this helpful
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H.H.

answers from Louisville on

i know how you feel. my yongest is 6mths so i quite my job of 7years to be a sahm. it is a big adjustment not only for the kids but for you too. cut our grocery bill by planning meals weekly and by what on sale and my biggest advice is use coupons go to this link couponmom.com it a great site. also you the sunday paper and stay cards like kroger i have gotten 300.00 groceries for 150.00 go luck in you want more info let me know

1 mom found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from Boise on

Have you considered getting rid of cable and using netflix for movies and tv shows? That would be like 12 dollars a month, I think. Do you need your current cell service or can you get by with a pay as you go phone, like a trac phone? They are cheap with no frills, but are good for emergencies. What about car payments. If you are not driving so much, can you sell your car and buy something with cash that is used but not a piece of junk? Cooking from scratch is really, really cheap and not that difficult. The library is great for outings to get books, movies, go to story time, and some libraries have free crafts, too. Local wildlife refuges are free and fun to go to. The internet has tons of websites with worksheets and cheap craft ideas to do with your kids. As far as babysitting, doing a babysitting coop is easy and free. You go out one weekend and your friends babysit your kids for free, then they go out the next weekend and you babysit their kids for free.

As far as structuring your days, I have laundry day, floors day, grocery shopping day, etc. to break up the housework and try to have my kids help even a little bit with chores. We have computer time, story time, play time, homework time. We try to go on walks every day unless the weather is terrible. Play dates are good to keep your kids occupied. I am not that organized, but sort of. I try to have my kids relax and unwind in late afternoon so by the time hubby is home, they are not super tired and grumpy. You will probably get lots of responses to this with great ideas.

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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

Eat whole foods, make your own laundry soap (Google "Amish laundry soap+fels-naptha, it's all over the web...like here: http://www.homesteadgarden.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5390 you shouldn't pay more than $1 per bar of fels-naptha soap...people will try to charge more and when they do, they're ripping you off), get used to never taking vacations or dates with your husband, try growing your own food, and let yourself rely more on your friends and relatives if yours are the kind that recognize how hard a stay-at-home mom actually works. Also try to keep in mind the fact that many people do not understand how much work this job involves and life can be extremely frustrating at times when you work where you live and vice versa.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

Take an inventory of your kitchen. What meals can you put together this week with what you've already got? Do this once a week & plan (on paper) your meals, particularly lunch & dinner. Make your shopping list for only what you need & stick to it. With the kids, visit the library, parks, free stuff. Structure your day in whatever way works best for you. It is hard work staying home, and in my opinion, your day shouldn't have anything to do with making things easier for your husband. He'll handle his day, you work with the budget & your day. Call your cell phone providers and ask them to look at your bills & find a lower cost plan. I call every year to get "re-rated" and every year I save a few bucks. Ask when your contract ends, and shop around if you don't get any breaks. Tell them you're shopping around. Or shop around and ask specifically for a more competitive price. As for grocery & household items...don't stockpile. Buy what you need. Buy what's on sale. Check your sale ads for groceries & regular household items. Eat out as a family a couple of times a month, but limit it to that. I leave room for one "out" lunch for the kids each week for my convenience when we're really busy. The biggest cost cutter for me is groceries and planning meals. I mentally ask myself "do we need this?" for everything I buy. These are just some of the things I do. I stay home with my 3 kids. My company closed, and I lost a senior level professional position when I was pregnant with my first. I chose not to go back to work, and at that time, it literally cut our income in half. We do alright and don't feel we're really lacking anything. Staying home is hard, though. Make friends. Work with friends to give yourself a break. You will need it.

J.W.

answers from Seattle on

I have been a SAHM for 6 years. I have held a couple part time jobs, mostly because I was bored and needed adult interaction. Just you being home and having the cleaning and cooking done will help your husband alot. I know the last thing my husband wants to do after a long day at work is come home and clean. Schedules are another thing. I have 3 kids, ages 5,3 and 3 months. We have T-ball games, Dr. appts. Wic appts, dentist, etc. So, getting on a schedule isn't that easy. We do have a bedtime routine and that is my most important thing that we stick to. As far as saving money... For your cell phones, look at how many mins you are paying for and how many you actuallly need. I have free incoming calls on mine, so I try to have people call me as much as possible. Cut back on misc stuff, such as junk food, frozen foods, and going out. I have found that even though it seems expensive it is actually cheaper to buy things to make real homemade meals out of. If you want stuff on hand for the nights that you just don't feel like slaving over the stove, there is boxed foods like Pasta Roni, or homestyle bakes. My kids love top ramen! Cheap easy lunch. Alfredo, for sauce and noodles its maybe $4 and you will have plenty of left overs! Try to set up appts on the same day... that way you aren't using alot of gas. You can do everything in 1 day... Same with errands, do them all in 1 trip. If you go to the store then go home, then go to the Dr. then home, that is taking alot more gas than needed. I know this isn't alot but I hope it helps a little...

L.C.

answers from Kansas City on

boy do i know how you feel! lol. here are some of the things that i do to help pinch our pennies.

1) we buy as much food as we possible at ALDI. which is a vast majority! doing that cut our grocery bill for a week from about 130 to about 80. We get our specialty foods or foods for our allergies at hy-vee.

2) do not put your ac lower the 74 and do not put your heater above 68. i know that sounds crazy, but it makes a big difference.

3) we buy all of our clothes second-hand, from outlet stores, on sale, or online.

4) i dont know if you are comfortable working on your phone or computer at all, but i started working from home. It isnt a get rich quick thing by any means, but the chunk that i bring in definitely helps offset the cost of some of our expenses. ( http://www.PerfectWorkForMoms.com if you want to check it out at all)

5) clip coupons and make as much as you can! i make my own baby wipes, and that saves me a good 20 bucks a month. I also make my kids hats for the winter, or make blankets for them to sleep with or for around the house.

6) do not get anything extended for cable! no movie channels or anything like that! if you really like movies invest in netflix.

7) we pay ALL of our bills that are due within the next week on fridays when my husband gets paid. ANYTHING that is due before the following friday gets paid. that gives us a better idea of what we "have" in the bank.

8) pack your husbands lunches! it is a LOT cheaper to pack them and a lot healthier then him buying them out!

9) make a meal plan. i know that is kind of boring, but it really helps! plan out exactly what you are going to eat each day of the week. this ensures that you are only buying the food that you NEED and nothing is going to waste.

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I have been a sahm off and on for 17 years. I have noticed that when I work it doesn't help much on the finances because we end up eating out more and spending on things we really don't need. Everytime I have worked my intention was to pay off bills but it never seems to happen that way, things tend to break down more so took it as a sign that I am not supposed to work because everytime I work the kids start going down hill with their attitudes, don't get any cooperation from anyone around the house so end up working double at work and at home, worn out and tired, and don't see the extra money as really helping at all other than feeling guilty and buying the kids more stuff they don't need or hubby spending more money as he is the big spender in our house.

What you need to do is write down your monthly bills and budget everything that you can think of like tithes, gas, groceries, and even the amount of stamps you need every month. It definately helps to have everything down as as you pay off that bill check it off. I usually write my budget for 3 months at a time and get it out every payday and pay off the bills and check off what has been paid, deduct the budget amounts and see how much is left for spending money so we have an idea what we have left to spend and what we want to do with it. Some months groceries may be cheaper from many items being on sale and can use that extra money for something else.

We rarely buy the kids clothes at stores unless they are 5.00 or less and jeans under 10.00, yes you can go and only shop clearance racks and get items that cheap. They get most of their clothes from their cousins or sometimes friends will give them clothes that they no longer want and sometimes they trade their clothes because their friends are also tired of some clothes and trade them. You can also go to garage sales or thrift stores and find brand new clothes with tags pretty cheap or clothes that didn't get worn but a few times.

We also disconnected the house phone to save some money because we really didn't use it more than a few hours a month and feel we can get along fine with just our cell phones.

If there is an Aldi close by shop there for most of your staple items. They don't have many name brand items but most of their food taste just as good or better than the name brands. My kids love their cereals better than the name brands and their soups better. The only items I don't buy there are tuna, spaghetti o's or whatever their brand is, bologna, and I am sure there are a few other items I forgot but for the most part we eat just about everything in that store and taste just as good or better than other stores brands and save a lot of money shopping there. I would even drive 40 miles to shop there if that was the closest one but would make it a once a month trip and get as much as you could as far as your staple foods that won't spoil fast and get what would spoil within a week or 2 but only what you would eat in that amount of time and not really stock up on those items but still cheaper to buy and eat for a week or 2 which will keep you out of your local more expensive grocery store a little longer. You can stock up on bread and freeze it, take it out and put in the fridge a day before you need it and you can have a month supply of bread which is a lot cheaper at aldi.

If your cell phone bill is high, shop around and see what plan is cheaper for your needs. We have the t-mobile basic family plan with 4 phones and is 100.00 a month for all 4 phones including all the taxes and fees, 750 daytime minutes, unlimited nights and weekends, unlimited t-mobile to t-mobile calling which a lot of our kids friends are on t-mobile so we rarely run over minutes. We don't have texting or any type of messaging or data plan on those and yes I have teens and they are surviving without it just fine. If you feel you have to have texting then add that to your plan for 20.00 more a month for all phones on your plan.

Figure out what meals you can cook for 5.00 or less, Spaghetti is a cheap meal or at least is for us because I buy a jar of sauce for 1.25 or less, pack of noodles for less than 1.00, buy hamburger on sale and only use 1 lb, I boil the noodles, cook the meat, then mix the sauce, meat, and noodles together in the big pot, this goes a lot farther and uses less sauce as most people put more sauce on their noodles when it is separated. We feed at least 5 people and have 2-3 containers (2-3 cup size) left over which I freeze for hubby to take to work for his lunch. Usually have a veggie with spaghetti too. Don't buy a lot of pre-cooked/fast meals as they are usually more expensive than making them. Watch sale ads for meat and buy in bulk (what you think you will eat in 3 months) when they are on sale, portion them out in freezer bags with the amount your family will eat for one meal and maybe add 1 serving if you want to overcook and freeze it like we do for hubby for his lunches at work.

We have a family of 5, grill or smoke meat at least 3 times a week and our grocery budget is 4-500 a month. We don't buy a lot of steak (maybe 2-3 times a year) but do buy a lot of chicken, pork chops, pork roast for pulled pork, hamburger, sometimes brisket if it's on sale, sometimes ribs and tenderloins when on sale. We buy a lot of fresh veggies and fruits, breakfast cereal under 2.00 a box at aldi, spaghetti at least once a week, tacos often. We rarely buy hot dogs or other lunch meats. Quick type foods we do buy are pizza pockets and frozen pizzas and usually eat those on nights on the run when we are too busy to fix a big meal.

As far as structuring your day, you have to figure that out on your own, try to do most of your housework during the day, do a few things each day and you won't have a ton to do on the weekends. The kids can help too and helps if you write down what you want them to do each day. I have my kids do 2 chores a day and that helps out a lot and doesn't take more than 15 minutes of their time. I notice it helps to write what you want each child to do and they do it better than when I make a list of chores that I want done and they need to pick 2. They don't do well with completing them that way but when I write down their name and the specific chore for them to do they usually do them right away and get them done. Must be a psychological thing that 2 chores listed under their name seems less than 6 chores listed on a piece of paper and pick 2. Same concept but they don't respond to that way as well. Your husband may be willing to help out on a few things but don't expect him to do a lot. I noticed my husband doesn't notice the dust and dirt much but he will be grumpy if the table is piled up and have stuff scattered on the floor or in the living room or dishes in the sink. If things are picked up, the dishes done, then he doesn't seem to worry about the rest of the house.
I am very involved in activities at church, kids in sports, teens hang out at our house a lot, so feel I am busy most of the time as if I am working a job and don't have a lot of extra time for housework so we all have to work together to keep the house at least presentable, it may not be spotless anymore like I used to keep it when the kids were little but at least it's not a pig-sty either. Most of our problem is we live in a small 1000 sq foot 3 bedroom house with tiny closets and not a lot of storage space so everything seems cluttered which makes me crazy but not much I can do about it. We bought a lot of new furniture which is twice the size of our old furniture and fills the rooms so not a lot of floor space either. Didn't realize that furniture is so much bigger now than it was 15 years ago and looks small in the stores.

We have at least 15 loads of laundry per week, dishes everyday, dusting at least twice a month, clean bathrooms at least once a week, kids rooms picked up, which they do their own, vacuum every few days, sweep and mop floors when needed at least 1-2 times a week. The extra stuff that doesn't get done every week--wiping base boards, blinds, ceiling fans, dusting, and a few other things I can't think of right now. Those get done when I find the extra time but don't stress over it.
Figure out what works for you and do a little each day and the housework won't get overwhelming like when you do it all at once. It will take some time to adjust to this new adventure in life but do what works for you.

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Take a look at your bills and see where you can cut. if you aren't going to be using the phone as much, maybe buy less minutes or nix the internet. If you call your cable company you can see if they have any deals going on where you can cut expenses or take out some pay channels. You might want to call your car insurance company and see what they can do if you aren't driving as much anymore.
You can look in the grocery circulars to find the deals and you can still use a store coupon and/or manufactures coupon with the sales to save. It adds up since Costco is not always cheeper. We only get the sunday paper delivered because of the ads. When we go out to eat, we only go places where there is a coupon or deal. You can sign up online at a lot of franchise restaurants and they will email you coupons. You can cut costs on cleaning supplies by using vinegar.
Time management is something you need to figure out what works for you. Cleaning one room a day, laundry once/twice a week, planning meals ahead of time and preparing them during nap time (this one is difficult for me)? I also try to make extra that will work with another meal... like extra meat to make burritos to freeze (quick meals) or more mashed potatoes for a Shepard's pie or potato pancakes.

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K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Plan out your recipes for the week. Sometimes I check out epicurious they offer great recipes. I like it because of the views. Clip coupons. Also join a playgroup for the social interation. I would check meetup. Go to meetup.com then go type in your county and see want comes up. Or join the MOMS club which is across the usa broken down into towns.

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J.H.

answers from St. Louis on

It is important to look where your money is really going.

Then you have to really soul search on what is a necessity for you. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between what is really a want and what is a need. It is important to first make that distinction.

I saw someone mentioned a reduced cable package. Is television really a necessity? We have no cable, no cell phone, etc. For us it isn't a necessity to watch television. For a while we only had one vehicle. We always buy used vehicles, used clothes. People think we are strange when we tell them we don't have things like cell phones and cable, but we have don't have a lot of extra bills and we have retirement and savings. I haven't looked into a cell phone so perhaps they are cheaper than a land line. We pay $25 for basic local service. We shopped around for an alternative long distance service. How much it costs depends upon how much long distance. It is generally an extra $5 to $15 per month or 5 cents per minute. You can comparision shop for some things like phone service on lowermybills.com.

The person who mentioned raising and lowering temps on thermostat is on the mark also. You can lower the heat even more than she said at night and throw on an extra cover. With the ac I raise it higher during the day and lower it at night when I want to be more comfortable and sleep. Programmable thermostats are great to help you remember.

What does a healthy meal mean to you? Does it have to include meat? Beans and eggs are high protein foods. Per serving they are generally cheap. If it has to include meat, I know families who go in together and buy sides of beef or pork. Buying in bulk and freezing items can be economical. As someone said, warehouse stores aren't always what they make themselves out to be.

Do you have space to grow some of your own produce in the summer? This is a great way to save money and a fun and educational family activity.

I think it is important to assess your shopping habits. I figured out that the more trips I make to a grocery store the more things I buy. Because of this, I try to limit my shopping trips.

If you have it, use your local library. Request books and movies through the interlibrary loan that you can't get locally. If you like magazines and newspapers, you can check these out as well.

Find out what all the free local kids programs are.

If you have insurance through your husband's work, buy your insurance according to what you actually use and also what will effectively cover you in an emergency situation. This probably can't be changed until the start of a new year. If you aren't making a lot of trips to the doctor, look into a high deductible plan or a health savings account. You can put the extra money into an account for an emergency situation. Really look at what you are paying. Really look at all plans that are offered and compare. Sometimes it is thousands of dollars difference - higher than what the actual deductible is. You don't want to be insurance poor but you also don't want to pay for more than want you use. For us it cost much more to pay for dental insurance to cover the kids than what it would to pay out of pocket to have their teeth cleaned. If you are shopping for private health insurance you can check it out at ehealthinsurance.com. Many people assume they need the highest coverage. If you are healthy this isn't always the case.

Are there other items or things that you are paying for that really aren't a necessity?

Are there work or hobby talents that you are your husband have the can be bartered for things that you want? Computer skills, photography, party planning, accounting skills, hair cutting, might be things that could be bartered. It doesn't hurt to ask. If it is in your line of work, it also keeps your skills fresh.

In terms of how to structure your day it probably depends upon the age of your kids. The younger they are the more your day will revolve around your kids eating, napping schedule, and how flexible your job is.

Good luck

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