Negative Attention Seeking Behavior

I was looking at all the posts and they are so right. She needs some help to deal with everything that is happening. Talk to the ped, and any other dr that might be able to help. Another thing you could try with the potty problems is pullups or diapers, so at least that will minimise some of it. At 3 some kids back slide anyway, and especially with all the trauma, stress, and changes. It could be a while for her to get back on track with potty training, so in the meantime a pullup and keeping an eye on her can help. Also give her lots of hugs and talks, I think she could really use the personal interaction. Try to be honest, but use kind and simple terms.

Have you sat with her alone and maybe tried to explain to her what is going on? She has been thrown into a situation and doesnt know why. Help her with expressing her feelings (sad, anxious, happy, confused, angry, hurt, etc) and DONT punish her for her "accidents". Be kind and tell her that big girls use the potty, but be understanding of how her mind and heart feels when you punish her for doing what is natural for young children going thru trauma. If you are religious, explain that the person went to see Jesus. Also, you may want to spend a day (or an hour) alone with her doing something fun, if you can. Then do something together with her and your son, something as a family too, like a feelings game. I think that it would be good to do it daily and let everyone know that it is okay to have and express those feelings and always praise her for her good behaviors (catch her off guard). Lots of hugs, kisses, and love (with patience) will go a long way. You may also want to go to her old place if possible and get pictures and special items for her to cherish and feel comforted by.

I hope this gives you some ideas Besides the prof. help (that can be expensive).
Love in Christ,
S.

Dear A. P.,

It sounds to me your neice is acting out because of the loss she is feeling and her relocation in your home. Try talking to her about her loss and give her all the LOVE, attention and sympathy you, your husband can give. She's only a child who maybe doesn't understand why she is put in this situation.

She's acting out for the attention she once had and the fact your son is home with you and the other children is all new to her and all of them.

If the situation doesn't get better for her. You might want to talk to your son's Pediatrician to see what you can do to help your neice and son.

Your son might be acting out as well, because he was the only child at home and your neice is a threat to his space.

Good Luck.

Sincerely,

G. H.

A.,
I know it may feel like she's looking for attention or being spiteful, but if this child's parents/caretakers that she's been with forever are gone, she may be having some major emotional adjustment difficulties. Don't know where you are located, but there is a place in Lakeland, The Bethany Center, that works with children who are in the grieving process. Not sure if they take kids that young, but it's work checking. Also, don't know what your resources are, but you may want to get Chantelle some mental health services to deal with her loss. Kids deal with loss differently than adults, and this may be an issue for her.
Good luck

she is clearly calling out for attention! you mention death & illness...
she is in a new place w/o her mommy (or usual caregiver)

personally, I would get her some prof'l help-
a child psychologist...

Your niece needs to be evaluated by a doctor. Start by taking her to a ped, then follow the suggestions of the doctor. Her world has been taken away from her she needs to learn how to cope. Good luck.

oh my goodness, poor child!!! What a wonderful woman you are to welcome her into your home. She needs all the love and attention she can get right now and since she is your niece and part of your family already, you will be wonderful for her. I cannot imagine what a young mind is going through with the loss and illness of her family and a new place. She must be so scared and worried and has no way to begin to explain all her feelings to anyone. How sad for her.

I have agree with the other moms. I think you should seek professional help for your situaation. I don't think anything you do to try to stop her behavior will help until someone helps her come to terms with her emotional upheaval. What a horrible thing for such a young child to go through. Death of her loved one. Even we adults become depressed, need medication, change our behavior, etc. when we suffer a traumatic event. I imagine it is even worse for a small child. I hope you find someone to help her and to help guide you as to best help her. You are so kind to be there for her. She is so lucky to have someone to love her and be there for her at this terrible time in her young life.

Wow, it sounds like you're having lots of fun!=)

I would definately recommend some professional help at this point. It sounds like the poor little dear has had her world turned upside down. She probably feels out of control, so she tries to get control in the only ways she knows how....only she can control when she goes to the bathroom...tantrums also are a way she can be in control.
I'm sure its hard on you, and you've got your own child to think about, but this 3 yrs old really needs to feel safe and loved. That is hard to communicate to a child like this, a professional can help you both. Good luck