Needs Help with TV Control

Yes, he may throw a fit the first few days you make the change - he's used to having the TV on. Just be consistent and don't give in if you truly want to make a change.
Good luck.

Whether you unplug the TV, or go for a FEW videos instead, either is a good idea. It will be tough for about 3 days (for both of you) but it does get remarkably better after that.
I did that once when my kids were little. My then 5 year old (I also had a 2 year old and a newborn at the time), spent ALL of her time in front of the TV, and my husband did too. In fact, he would get so angry if one of the kids blocked his view, or I interrupted him. So, I GOT RID OF our TV. We went without for TWO YEARS ! We loved it !
We only got one after two years because the kids' Grampa thought we were being cruel to the kids to not have a TV in the house for them, so he showed up with one and put it in the living room. I respected him and loved him too much to fight him on the issue.
By that time, we had learned that TV was not our best friend, however, and all of us had learned to give it a much smaller role in our lives.
Even now, the kids are all grown and gone, but I don't have cable or satellite, and don't intend to. I have a converter box for the local channels, so I can get the local news and weather, and occasionally we rent a movie.

Now, my advice on the baby you are babysitting that cries all the time .....
This child may not be a good fit for your home.
I used to watch children, too, in order to make a little extra grocery money. Once in a while, I would get a child that seemed to cry nonstop, no matter what I did. Since I am a very short, and not especially strong woman, it was impractical for me to carry a child around on my hip all day. I don't believe that is good for the child anyway. (No nasty letters please. I know there are different schools of thought on this. I respect y'all that do this, please respect those of us that don't.)
Anyway, when I occasionally had a child like this, I had to tell the parents that the situation just was not working out. Their child was just not happy in my care for some reason, and no child should have to spend their days so unhappy, so they would need to make other arrangements. I would give them a two week to one month time limit to find another sitter. (If you don't limit them, they will never even look for any one else.)
When they had moved on, I would find another child to sit for, making sure that I spent some time interviewing the parents AND the child to be sure we all were a better fit together.
It happens now and then, and it is no shame to admit that not every child is going to work out well in your home. Sometimes it's just a personality conflict. But better to admit it, and end the situation, than to allow it to make everyone's lives miserable.
I know my husband was always OK with me babysitting if the house was happy when he came home from work, but would pressure me to quit whenever he started coming home to an unhappy household. He thought (and he was 100% right) that he had a right to come home to peace in his home after a hard, stressful day at work.
You have to put YOUR husband and children first. This other child is his or her parents' first responsibility, your children are yours.

I wish you well :0)

by all means, tell him it's broken! lol! don't sweat the little white lie...get him outside it's not too cold yet. take him to a park or something, likely the baby will enjoy the change of scenery too. activities, activities, activities. the baby is old enough she shouldn't need your 100% divided attention ALL the time...put her in a pack n play or a exersaucer and get little boy into some activities...good luck!

Hey Steph. Don't beat yourself up but do take steps to end this. My first step with my grandsons is to take them outside. Being outdoors resets their little brains and makes them much calmer all around. Just 10 minutes makes a huge difference. When you come back inside just don't turn the TV back on. Gradually extend the time it is off. One friend of mine covered her TV up so that the kids didn't see it. Out of sight out of mind seemed to help hers.

Hi Stephanie,

Just turn off the TV or unplug it. Do it right away and be prepared to have tantrums, or yelling. It is not going to be easy, but you already know that YOU are the one to set limits, and still is time to do it, better than later...Just SET the limits. It is going to be a BIG change for him and he may be confused besides frustrated because the sudden change of rules are not going to be fun nor "logic" for him after all this time watching TV for long hours. So, you, in a very CALM AND FIRM WAY are going to turn the TV off and possibly unplug it THE NIGHT BEFORE, and tell your child the next morning that TV hours are going to change. He may start throwing a fit to you and having tantrums, but you are going to stay firm in your decision. Distract him with something you know he may want or like ( special toy, a tasty cookie, whatever!!!!!!!) after that you are going to start a little routine every single day with him (I know is not what you want right now, but you need to do it) a routine like, get up in the morning, have breakfast and have your little guy playing with you with something he likes a lot (puzzles, cubes, cups, coloring books, drawing, glue shapes or pasta on a paper plate, etc...); you do that for 15 minutes. if he likes it ...may be more time. Then, weather permitted, go with him out door and play ball with him or jump a rope (my kid does not know how to do it but he pretends it and find a way to jump the rope in a silly and funny way), and then go inside and read for 10 minutes...I don't know if you get the idea of this routine, I mean 3 or 4 things for a short period of time in the morning and then in the afternoon (does he nap?, if not make him to have a quiet time by reading together or listening some kids music), It is not easy at all because we, moms, are busy and multitasking people, but you have to do it in order to get your little guy doing something else than TV, and THEN AFTER he gets used to "his new activities" you MAY let him watch a 30 minute-program on PBS kids or Sprout Channel or Baby channel..Not any other channel even for kids because those are full of nothing for children to watch.
Stephanie, you also may incorporate this new routine into your busy day. Let him help you, if you are dusting, give him a sock to help you, if you are doing laundry, let him sort his clothes by color, if you are cooking let him sit down on the floor with a couple of little cars and play, or let him set the table (light and safe things like napkins, plastic cups, etc...)Just make a routine of the same activities each day and then he will do them by himself, but set aside some time for him. Your older kids can help you sometimes and have fun with him.
Try but do not give up..I know this plan is not easy, but the magic will not work in this case, I think. It is not easy to have energy to play and play and go outdoors with children when we, moms, have a lot to do and accomplish. Your little guy will get use to it, will get used to play with his siblings, with you, by himself as soon as he discovers that there are so many things to be amused with besides TV. My kids like TV and my husband is the same, however, the kids in my house get to watch tv not before they have been doing something else (play, sports, reading, chores, homework (the oldest)...etc...MAKE IT FUN!
I hope this help you Stephanie..Good Luck!!
Alejandra

I think you are right to keep it off a day, but he will probably whine (WHINE) constantly. Things will get easier each day it's off and hopefully after a week he'll forget about it. Luckily, it is still nice enough to get outside as a distraction. I know it's hard packing up the baby too, but this is our last shot because winter will be here soon. Also, baby center's website is a great resource for crafts you can do that might help distract him from the tv. Good luck breaking the habit.

You have gotten some very positive responses and some good ideas. I have two little ones, and sometimes it is hard to figure out how to fill a day. Here are some ideas:

Make a list of all the things you would like him to do instead. Color, build with blocks, read, play outside, help you cook, eat lunch, etc.
Make a schedule and hang it so you all can see it. If possible, use simple pictures so your son knows what is happening and what will come next. (That way he won't always think that a book means bedtime.)
Look in your local newspaper, online, or check with local malls or the parks and recreation department to see what is happening in your community. Libraries often have storytime. Parks will have special events. Maybe you could check out the zoo? Make a list and rotate fun off-site things in when you can.
Try and get together with other people during the day to help save your sanity. Do you know another mom who would like to join you at the playground? Could she and her little one come over? Or could you go there? It really helps to have people together to really make the time fly. And to stop baby's crying.

Good luck!

I think that unplugging it for the day is a great idea. I would also explain to him that you made a mistake in letting him watch so much TV. Admit you were in the wrong and lay out the new plan. But unglugging the TV would be a good idea, that way he can't just go over and turn it on when your not in the room. Have other things available to do. Colors, play dough, toys what ever. Just have something else planned for him to do until he adjust to the cut in TV. And also have a time that he can watch some TV (Noggin is a great channel!) say one hour after lunch. Good luck!

yep, the tv is broken! Go for it & use the time to teach your son those very important life & social skills. I seriously recommend just NOT talking about the tv, & please don't use it as a reward for his cooperation!

A starting point would be hitting the Dollar Store or Walmart together & choosing preschool supplies: crayons, markers, coloring books, sticker books, playdoh, & building blocks if he needs them. Many of these items come in cartoon themes...which might help interest him. Also there are many games which a 3 y.o. can play! The whole point is allowing him to take ownership of his supplies, rather than using hand-me-downs.

I think the thing that really jumps out at me is that you have 2 older children! Were they tv hounds? & did your son show any interest whatsoever when they went off to school this year? That's how I would promote this change of life.....it's time to be a big boy & get ready for school! To that effect, what about preschool or Headstart? Would that be possible? Even parttime would be beneficial in helping break him from the tv. Another option would be any gym program or Mothers' Morning Out group....anything to get him going, engaged with other kids, & away from that tv. Good luck & I wish you Peace.

I would take hime away from the tv and give him other things to do that will offset those actions. Let him color, finger paint washable, build with blocks. If he does the sticking out of tongue then make him sit in the corner in case you have another way that you punish your kids.

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www.livefamilydreams.com ask for more info and i will call you or email you. Good luck

I firmly believe in telling the truth and if you want your child to tell the truth you need be truthful always so say the TV is just going to be off for most of the day and set times to watch certain programs, or program. Then play with him, read to him, talk to him all day long, as well as have a time to play alone. It's really so much more fun if you really enjoy them. As for the crying baby maybe she would she would be happier if you set her on the floor by you or in a seat by you and watched you interact with your son and talk to her too. Put her on the floor by you on a blanket and let her watch and hold toys. She may feel bored too. Maybe she's needing more nap times, or over tired, or just a grumpy baby who needs to cry sometimes. If that is the case and it's not long crying times maybe she will get over it or find another baby or child, maybe another 3 year old, to babysit.
As for your son sticking out his tongue, spitting, etc. you need to take charge NOW or it will get worse. Tell him, even at 3 he can understand, that there will be new rules and this is how it will be from now on and explain the schedule or plan. Then he will know and then stick to it when he whines, cries, throws things, hits you, etc. Tell him to go to his room or use whatever discipline you use, swatting if you use that too. He will soon catch on and be so much happier being part of life instead of part of a box with a control. Really. So will you be happier even though it is work.

I have found that if you are willing to force yourself to spend the time with him then do it away from the TV (i.e. go outdoors for a walk, to the park, to a play place at the mall, to the library, a museum, etc.). Basically, try to show him his world around him and get him curious about other things...how do things work, how does milk get to the grocery store (go on a dairy farm tour), go to the pumpkin patch and pick your own pumpkin, etc.

With mine it was really easy (fraid to say that...). MY DH was unemployed and we couldn't pay the satellite bill...so no TV. Immediate and very painful for most of us but it resolved the hours upon hours in front of TV...now they watch maybe 30 min of DVDs but they have to scrounge them up themselve and if I go on a cleaning binge I hide what I find to force them to play with their toys....

Bottom line is yes this boils down to how much time you want to put into it...but having been down the same road as you (DH was deployed 30/36 months when kiddos were 2-4)it really sucks!!! You say that you babysit but if you are battling depression (as it sounds like you might) I'd say it's not worth the money you are making...focus first on you and your family.

And Steph, you aren't a bad mom for leaving the TV on 24/7, just a desperate one. Mom's who have never dealt with the stress of a deployment have no room to condemn you for what has transpired...there are way more stresses here than anyone outside of the military can even imagine, so shame on any and all of them! See if you can't take the seperation pay and hire someone part time who can come help you get the house under control again...that will go a long way to making you feel better and getting you back on course! DH has been home 14 mos and 8 of those were unemployed w/ no checks coming in...our house is still a wreck and we are still recovering...so I feel your pain. Write if you want...take comfort in knowing you aren't the only one who's traveled down this lonely road. Oh, and remember as a deployed soldier you will be eligible for a certain amount of free day care, etc. from base CDC...so start booking your times now and set your spa dates! LOL ;) Hang in there! Blessings upon you and yours!

I think unplugging the TV sounds like a great idea. I do it all the time-ever since my daughter figured out how to turn it off and on. I turn it off at the power strip. So far she hasn't figured that out yet! Fortunately for me, my daughter would rather go outside than watch TV, but whenever we are inside, she thinks that the TV has to be on. Like you, it's my fault. We have satelite TV and when we aren't watching a program I frequently turn it onto one of the music channels and turn on the surround sound. The result has been that the TV is on most of the time. Now it just seems to blow her little mind if I turn on the stereo instead. The first thing she does when we come into the house is turn the TV on. That's why I started turning off the power strip. When the TV doesn't come on she tells me, "Oh, no, T broken." I tell her that's okay, let's listen to the radio instead. I bought her a couple of CD's (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and the Imagination Movers) and we put those in the CD player and go play in her room. She loves music and its worked out well for us. Maybe it will work as well for you. Good luck.

I hear you loud and clear! My 3 1/2 year old loves to sit in front of the tv all day long. I hate it. But, like you said, its my fault. I babysit a 2 year old girl part time and when she is here I normally turn off the tv and they never even notice. Punishment for my son IS unplugging the tv, I'm not sure how long this will last b.c he's pretty smart and will eventually figure out how to plug it back in, but for now this works way better than time out! I hate that I use the tv as such a crutch, but its SO easy to do! When I have a spare moment I'm cleaning the house (so that at the end of the day it just looks the same as it did in the morning anyway!eergghh) or doing whatever needs to be done around here (I have a 1 year old also). Anyway, I understand what you are saying, you aren't alone. Sometimes I just tell my husband to ignore the messy house and I spend all day keeping my 3 year old entertained doing projects, playing outside (he won;t play in the backyard alone yet), playing pretend, going for walks... he loves it, but if I do that everyday then everything else gets behind. I don;t know how those none tv people do it! I'd def. unplug the tv and see what happens. Good luck!

hello, i hear you on the letting-the-kids-watch-alot-of-tv thing, i used to do it too. then my children started getting attitude with me, so i changed it so they could watch how ever much they want, but only certain channels, like animal planet, food network, and discovery channel. it will be hard at first, but stick to it. if you have a channel block on ur tv, i suggest u use it, it will block out the channels if they are pressing the channel up/down button, but not if u punch int he number directly. my children's attitude changed emmensly. i get compliments all the time about how well mannered they are. and they are pretty darn smart too, they now know ALOT of animal facts rofl.

good luck

The TV has always been on in our house also. I have 6 year old twins and a 3 year old. What I have done lately is wait until they are playing something and just turn it off. It usually takes a little while for them to figure out that it has been turned off.

Playing outside also works. Or, set up a fun thing to do away from the tv. Let him get in the bathtub (with or without water) and draw with bathtub crayons. Set up playdough in a different room. Let him cook with you.

Depending on the cable you have Noggin is a great channel or even pbs in the morning. My three year old also loves the computer and can play games by herself. Or, check out garage sales for a train set for his room. You could even go in there to feed the baby while he plays. You would be with him, doing what you need to do and the tv would be off.

Don't beat yourself up. All moms do it. If it's not the tv it's something else.