Needs 3.5 y.o to Sleep in His Own Bed!!

Updated on March 15, 2009
M.M. asks from Fort Benning, GA
4 answers

I have a 3.5 years who will not sleep in his own bed!! I do admit a lot of it is my fault. When I had him it was 3 weeks after my other son passed from a heart disease, so I made sure I was there with the new baby and he slept with me and my husband. But here we are 3.5 years later and he is still in bed with us. We have tried to stay with him in bed until he falls asleep, but then in the middle of the night he will make his way back into bed with us.
Does anyone have any techniques into getting him to sleep in his own bed and sleep in it the whole night?

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D.P.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a feeling this one will not be accomplished without tears... I'd just put him to bed in his bed and tell him that you expect him to spend the WHOLE night in his bed -- he's a big boy now and you'll have something for him in the morning to reward him for staying in bed all night. Then make good.

If he climbs in bed with you at night, put him back in his bed. You may be in for about a week of hard nights.

Good luck!

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H.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi M.,
How about a token system? If your son stays in his own bed, he can earn a token (to exchange for something bigger in the future). Have a weekly chart where he and you can see it often and put a smiley face or a check, or a frown or an X to resemble what he did the night before.
So, let's say he wants to go to the store and buy a toy...every night he can earn a quarter or whatever you deem, and when he gets enough, he can go to the store and buy that toy. Or if he stays in bed all 7 nights, then he gets to eat his favorite dinner the next night, plus earning his token.
Just a thought; good luck!

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M.T.

answers from Atlanta on

M.,
I had been there and techniques in this book helped me a lot. The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley (Author), William Sears Author. You can find in amazon.com

Good luck.

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K.C.

answers from Columbia on

Hi. I am a mother of a 2.5 year old. I have a similar problem. I let him sleep in my bed when I left his father, and I believe it was more for me than for him. We live at my mom's house and share a room. He has been in my bed ever since. I will be moving in a few months and my sister suggested getting his room all fixed up and decorated before he even sees it, and since he will have his own rrom then, he might be excited about sleeping on his own bed. It is funny though, that when he spends the night with my mother, he sleeps by himself, in a pack-n-play. She has helped me by getting him to sleep by himself, So that when I'm ready, it may be easier for me to get him into his own bed. Its a transition. I would suggest asking your parents to let him spend the night (if he doesn't already) and make sure that he sleeps by herself. I believe that because you are not there, it may be easier for your son to try to sleep alone. Grandmas are really good at getting things from grandchildren, as grandchildren are more likely to do things differently with grandparents. While you may not be moving, it might not hurt to try new things. And its NEVER wrong to ask your parents for help. After all, they did raise you!! :)

If he does begin to (or already) sleep by himself at grandma's house, then I would try putting him to sleep and then moving him to his own bed. And if he wakes up in the middle of the night, then let him fall back to sleep and put him back in his bed. Once he makes it sleeping in his own bed, congradulate him on how well he did sleeping like a big boy and maybe take him out for breakfast as a reward.

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