Need Your Opinion Mommys!

I always give my kids a good week to settle in!! The second week is almost always better!!! It totally wears you(as the caregiver) out!! Having a child scream nonstop drains you!! Now that you have found out what was wrong I'd try it again!! He was in pain and kids don't know whatelse 2 do except cry!! If she still won't deal with it the I'd find another place 4 him to go!!

Why be upset with the babysitter? I think 2 hours of a child crying and trying to settle him and nothing worked, if she fed him, changed him and nothing worked, she wouldnt know he had an ear infection I think she did the right thing in calling you.

I have to agree with your daycare provider. 2 hours is plenty of time for a child to calm down, honestly most kids will settledown in the first 30 mins. Obviously you saw something was wrong with him or you wouldn't have taken him to Urgent Care, so you should be thankful your provider did see there was something more to it than just an upset kid. Your child wasn't rejected, she was being observant and called you because of that.

Please remember providers have to watch other kids, a child that is crying for 2 hours is not only stressful to YOUR child but to the other children as well.

She did the right thing by having you pick him up.

Hello K.,

Like the other Mamas, I agree with the sitter calling you.
Was she harsh to you or your son as to make you so upset over it? If she was, then I'd see a reason to be. If not, then I'd have a talk with her explaining your feelings. I'm sure she was just a bit stressed with him crying for so long and her not being able to do her job by comforting him. Give her another chance... I'm sure all will be worked out by talking about it. ls

Considering he was sick, I think she may have done the right thing. Im sure after 2 hrs of unconsolible crying, she probably figured something was wrong. Can you imagine the things she probably tried to do to help him the 2 hrs he was crying and while she was trying to take care of other kids. I think he really needed his mama and she knew that. Plus if he was sick, he could get the other kids sick. Unless there are some other reasons shes upset you, I wouldnt write her off yet.

We can all be mama bears when it comes to our little ones, but I think the sitter did the right thing. Even if she had given him more time, he had an ear infection. Giving it more time would not have made him feel better. He was probably very uncomfortable and needed to have his physical pain eased. I applaud her for calling you. If she had not called you, and it was something more pressing than ear infection he could have been in real trouble. I think you have found yourself a responsible sitter. As far as feeling rejected, he was not rejected, she had other little ones to take care of. Even if she didnt, she instinctively knew the timing, or something else was wrong. Kudos to the sitter. Dont take it personal.

Since, you are obviously upset I would call the babysitter to have an in-depth conversation for her motive calling you to pick him up...was she concerned because she thought something was wrong or was she just done with the situation. When you picked him up, I am guessing that your first concern was him (obviously). So, having that conversation was not priority then. I, also, take my son to an in home daycare and sometimes I will get upset by something she says, so I will talk to her about it and I have found that she usually didn't mean it how I took it. As mothers we are very protective and defensive when it comes to our little ones. Don't be too harsh until you know how she meant that phone call/pick up, she probably realized something wasn't right and that is why she called. I would listen to your instincts, not your pride. By that, I mean you obviously chose this person because you felt it would be a good fit. So, at least give her the benefit of the doubt and use some communication to make sure your feelings are right on. Good Luck! :)

Unfortunately, I do hear about this a lot on the daycare lists I frequent. A lot of providers simply can't stand crying and they are ill equipped to know how to help the child that is that upset. It's unfortunate that she was unable to figure out he was in pain. There are usually signs that an experienced provider would be able to see.

It's also very common for providers to put a 2 week trial clause in their contracts. If they just don't feel the child is fitting in they feel they should ask them to leave. I would be horrified if I was unable to help a child to become comfortable with us.

I have also had the opposite experience though. I've had kids that came in and cried hard at drop off time and the parents would not even give it past a few days before they assumed something was very wrong and they tried another provider. Some kids just take longer to calm down and notice that the other kids are having fun.

Did she really say she doesn't want him at all?! If so it's good you are finding out now. She sounds like she doesn't have the skills that she needs. It will be even harder for your son to feel comfortable in the next situation. If at all possible try and find someone that has had experience with this sort of thing and I always find it best to just do a full immersion from day one. Doing a few hours and part days are more confusing for a child. They are fine in the couple of hours and then when they have to do a full day they don't understand why it was so much longer. That's my experience anyway.

Suzi

K., i'm sorry, but two hours of crying would be way past my limit. i know the mama bear thing does kick in, probably i'd feel the same way as you do, but try to see it from her perspective. she has other children she needs to be there for. a crying baby frays the nerves, and it's hard to do any job with that ringing in your ears. it's possible you just took her request that you come get him a little bit too personally - is it possible she meant, "i think something is wrong, he needs to see a doctor" ?? you should probably talk to her if it's bothering you that much. make sure you understand her meaning. if she really meant that she didn't want him to come back, then let her know he was actually sick, and it's not just that he was screaming for the heck of it. but it's possible she just meant come get him for today. my sitter did the exact same thing two weeks ago, he woke up from his nap and wouldn't stop crying, and i took him to a clinic and turned out he had an acute ear infection too, so i've been there. my son didn't act sick at all until he just started crying uncontrollably because of his ear infection, and by that time it was bad. so i can see how it could happen. anyway, try not to be too hard on her, give her a chance. she may not have been rejecting your son.