Need to Deal with Working and Sending 9 Month Old to Daycare.....

Yep, I am right there with you - and I even moderately like my job.

What helped me:
- I was able to adjust my work schedule to leave work at 4 PM so I actually could play with my daughter before bedtime
- I kept breastfeeding her (until 1.5) and pumped at work until she was 14 mo old - that connection is unbeatable!
- It gets better as they get older. My daughter is now 2 and loves her preschool. Hearing her talk about her friends and teachers makes it a lot easier.
- When she was really little I did COMPLETELY neglect any household chores in favor of spending time with her. The house was a mess, but we were both happier.

My goal is to quit working next year and eventually go back to school (I will be able to spend more time with her then, too). Having something to look forward to really helps getting through the though times.
Good luck!

Is it possible for you to find a job working from home or quit and become a SAHM? My husband and I never thought it would be possible, but we realized that by the time we paid the sitter, I was only making about $200 a week. Yes, that adds up over the month, but maybe you could find something that would help give you that little bit of added extra cash? I have started watching kids in my home, but it took my "leap of faith" to get me going. I honestly quit without anything in its place, and I haven't regretted it for a day. You don't realize how little you can live on until you are doing it on a day to day basis. Just a thought... :)

I agree with Antoinette, talk to your husband, measure your priorities, you need your son as much as he needs you. Please review your finances, you might be surprised as how money you didn't know was there is going to the drain. example: don't let food rot in the fridge, don't buy stuff you don't need, move to a smaller place if possible. you are so young, you can make a finance plan and stay home and still build your career after your son is older.
It can be done, we are moving out of our house because my husband and I refuse to leave our kids 9+ hours of daycare a day. We are making huge sacrifices BUT we are both happier this way. We have a smaller apartment, we have no debts, we can still keep our two cars and our girls couldn't be happier.
I hope it works out for you, if for any reason it's impossible for you to stay home, remember this is just temporary, you might still be able to stay home if you make a plan of paying those loans sooner.
Good luck to you and you family!

If you have to work out of necessity, I really feel for you, I know I would have a very hard time (I'm a stay at home mom). It's a shame we live in a society in which so many times both parents have to work to make ends meet.

If I were you, I would sit down and think about whether your family could survive without your income. This may mean moving out of a nicer house into a smaller one or an apt. It may mean buying clothes from a garage sale rather than the store. (I've bought many things new at garage sales for $0.25) In the end, you may have to sacrafice a lot, but believe me, your 9 month old will thank you for it. He would rather have you take care of him than have the newest toy in town.

My son has been at daycare since he was about 6 months old and now he is 6 years. I can remember going to drop him off and breaking inside. I just went out of my way to get better acquainted with all the functions at the school and the teachers. It was the best way I knew how to deal with it. Knowledge is power! All kids need to learn to cope with separation from mom and dad at some point. When the little guy gets older and he has rough times here and there, all kids will, just reassure him that you WILL be there to pick him up after work. It gets easier as time goes on.

Hi Cayla, I just wanted to commiserate. I recently put up a post about how much I regretted getting my MBA for the same reasons. I have so much student debt (of course I had to go to a private school) that its really not an option for me not to work. I got a flood of comments saying that that I shouldn't regret it b/c it could come in handy later on (which is hopefully the case) but it really doesn't help me much now. My 10-month old loves his daycare and especially, this one lady who takes care of him there and I'm so happy he's bonded with someone there and is having a grand old time but a part of me feels such a loss because this is my child. My not even 1-year-old baby who is essentially being raised and bonding with strangers because I'm working to pay off an education that I don't really even use in my current job thanks to the economy. I'm kind of worried that he's going to bond with his caregiver more than with me because he spends the bulk of his time over there. Again, I'm so happy for him and relieved that he's getting quality care and lots of love but I really wish it was me that was giving it to him :( I want to be a SAHM so badly or at least work only part-time but my debt has really trapped me.

It's so hard and I have no suggestions other than what the other mothers have already told you -- work part-time, rework your budget, discuss wiht your husband about staying home, etc. but I just wanted to tell you that I SO know what you are talking about. It breaks my heart to only really see him on weekends and it's becoming more of an issue for me as he grows older and is showing more personality, etc. Good luck. I really hope you find a solution that works for you.

Oh Cayla! I just wanted to say that I have been there and I know how hard it is... I do have two children now and going back to work after the second one was much easier. Like you, I never dreamed that I would have a problem being a working mother. In fact, that is just how I always thought it would be. But along came my little Ava Lea and I was in tears just thinking about going back to work while I was still on maternity leave! I would even wake up in the morning crying! For me, the key was having a good child care provider, someone that I trust completely... the first three months after I went back to work, I had someone that I was very uncomfortable with (but she was family) and I would go to work crying most days. So, after I found a new child care provider (she only baby sits my two girls, but has four boys of her own that she home schools) it eventually got much easier. After that, I still had some issues, but I just had to give it to God and I prayed that if it was His will for me to work then that's the way it would be and if it was His will that I stay home that He would help us find a way... Well, I still work full time and there are still some days that I am a little weepy having to leave my girls, but I know this is what God has for me at this time. Best of luck to you!

I know Cayla. It's really, really tough. And I actually like my job and it was still really hard! You are obviously like me in the fact that you have to work fulltime. Or else you'd have quit by now to be a SAHM. Do you have any other options in your current position where you could do something different perhaps? Is it a situation where you can speak to your supervisor about the fact that you're unhappy and see what they have to offer you to make your time at work a little more tolerable? Sometimes, they really are willing to do what they can to make their employees happy. It never hurts to ask.
About the vicious cycle of daycare and sickness.....it WILL get better. I too have a certain number of vacation time, sick time, and floating holidays. I was just very, very upfront with my management when I placed my babies in full time daycare. I explained that the first year was going to be rough but I assured them I would always do the best I could, but the daycare has certain procedures that they have to follow. Such as not being able to return until they are fever free for a solid 24hrs........this usually means you can bet on me being out 2 days instead of 1. I explained that and showed them the contract I signed with daycare which stated their policies and procedures for sick children. This just helped me to know that my boss knew I wasn't making excuses or "faking".....It helped me feel validated when it came to all those call in days. I also made it a point to always get a work note for MYSELF every time we were at the pediatrician. I wanted those to be in my personell file.......again to help me feel validated. As for me........my kids are now 6 and almost 4 and I still have my job. Even though I have taken many, many hours of unexcused/unpaid time every year since the birth of my first. It's inevitable. Granted, it's not the best situation, but my job knows that my babies come first. They know I wasn't home chillin out or livin it up..........they know I'm with my children who need me. I haven't gotten fired yet! =0) So, try not to worry.
Now, I have a child almost done with kindergarten who has perfect attendance! Yes....perfect attendance!!! It's because she has the immune system of a freakin ox! LOL Now, instead of spending her first year of school sick and getting all those absences counted against her on her permanent school record.........she doesn't have to worry about that! So, all this sickness you are experiencing........it really is making him stronger and stronger. It will get better with each year he's in daycare. And, by the time you send him to school........you'll be good to go! =0)
Just sit down with your boss and maybe tell them how you're feeling and how overwhelming this is and see if they are willing to take some steps to help you out. Good luck! And I know it's tough. But, it will get better and better. Hugs!!!!!

I know you think that you cannot stay home because of finances.. but I bet you can.. by the time you pay for full time day care and gas to get back and forth to work,, and lunch and better clothes to wear to work.. and and and.. it really does take up quite a bit of your salary..

There is also another big cost in a dual income family.. TAXES... when I quit my job to stay home.. our tax bill went from 26,000 per year to 6,000 per year.. and that is just federal taxes. So we saved 20,000 in taxes.. I was also paying a nanny 16,000 a year.. so there was 36,000 going out of my salary ... so I really wasnt making much..

I quit my job when my second child was born.. I stayed home full time for 2 years.. then I got a part time contract job when my younger son turned 2.. Now I work 2 or 3 days per week.. it is a good mix for me..

Take a good look at your family finances and I be you can afford to stay home...and then after a whiel maybe you can find a part time job.

I don't have any suggestions, just want to say it does get easier. I cried a lot when I first had to go back to work. I fought with my husband about it a lot, too. I think the main reason was because I felt like we could make enough sacrifices that I could stay home if he really wanted me, too, but he didn't want it as much as I did. To be honest, the only reason I think I don't resent working now is because it came down to we could either stay in our old, cute, 800 sq ft house and have just the one baby and me stay home and we not have any savings, or I could keep working and we could move to a bigger house and have another baby. I really didn't want our daughter to be an only child, so once we moved, there was no way we could make it on just my husband's income. Not that I suggest doing what we did, but it did change my perspective in the sense that I felt like if I had to work, at least we were giving the kids each other and a better neighborhood/school.

As for the sick time, I used half of mine while I was on maternity leave this year to at least get a little money coming in. Then the last two weeks our whole family has been sick, so the other half is pretty much gone, too. Hang in there! You're not alone...

Well, what are your options?

You're not happy with the daycare. Shop around and try to find a better one. Don't pull him out until you have a new place, though.

You don't like your job. Well, you can always start sending out resumes and try to find something better. Don't quit until you have a new position, though.

You'd really like to stay home with the baby, but you can't live on just your husband's income. How much do you want to stay home? Are you willing to make a drastic downscale in your lifestyle? If your husband's really on the low end of the income scale, it may not be possible. You may already be living as cheaply as you can. But maybe not. Are there cheaper homes available in an older part of town? Could you save money trading your newer cars in for older ones? Could you shop at Wal-Mart and Target instead of the mall? Do you make trips for pleasure that you could skip or downscale? Do you really need cable TV and High Speed Internet? Would an antennae and dial-up suffice? Factor in the money you'd save if you didn't have to pay for daycare. Would you be interested in opening your own small home daycare to bring in supplementary income while you stay home or is there any other home-based business you could do (be realistic, now, no dreams of becoming a millionaire selling on ebay or with Mary Kay), or could you work part-time with a relative watching the baby while you work or on an different shift from when your husband works? Any luxuries you could eliminate? Do you really need to eat out as often as you do? If you really, really want it, you may be able to swing it. But it won't be easy. You may have to completely change your thinking about what is necessary and what isn't. And your husband would have to be on-board with it as well.

If you hate your job, consider changing. If you really just want to be a SAHM, then you need to talk to your hubby about your situation. Look for part time work, or commit to staying at home for 1 yr and take it from there. I find that when I dislike what I am doing, I am the first to say QUIT and stay at home with baby. However, when I like what I am doing ... it isn't so hard. I am a working mom. My daughter stays at a home day care / nannie whom she adores and the relationship they have is one that makes it easy on me to leave her every day.

People only work for 2 reasons: they want to or they have to. It sounds like you feel you have to, but definitely don't want to. I would figure out exactly how much you NEED each month to get by (cut out cable, luxuries, maybe even a second car). Maybe you could find a part-time job to make enough to cover only what you need. What are your husband's hours? Maybe you could work nights and/or weekends while your husband is home with the baby. My younger sister needed an income, so she works nights and weekends. She's 27, a mother of 3, and a college graduate--and she bar-tends at night. She doesn't LOVE that she's not home for dinner 4 nights a week (she works 4 nights 4-11), but she does love that her children aren't in daycare. She and her husband don't get much time together, but they're willing to sacrifice for the kids.

Sweetheart, I think you are going through what a lot of women go through, the difference is that you are able to recognize your unhappiness. So, on that note, you should feel very good about the fact that you are in touch with your inner feelings. It might be a good idea for you to look into deferring your husband's student loans (I have deferred mine for this very reason) for a few years so that you can follow your heart and spend this time focusing on your son. You can look into an unemployment deferment or an economic hardship deferment (ask which one suits your particular situation). Additionally, look into the other ways that you might be able to reduce monthly expenses (such as canceling the land line telephone, shopping at Aldi and other grocery-bill reduction methods, moving into an apartment if it's a viable option [that's what we did, and we are having so much fun with the decision], amongst a number of other things). If you take these measures, you may very well find that the expenditure in daycare, gas, and other work related expenses is actually high enough that it is financially better to stay home as well-at least this might be a good way to pitch the idea to your hubby. Follow your heart, that's where God resides.

I have been in a similar situation. My husband are making it work for me to stay home but I understand not everyone can. My suggestion is small but might help a little. I really didn't like leaving my daughter at daycare so we worked it out that my husband dropped her off & I picked her up. It's a little thing but it helped me get through a little more time. I was more focused on work when I was able to go straight there. I was also out of days so that was becoming an issue. I pray you can find a solution that will work for the whole situation.

There is no way to deal with it except change it. None of the reasons you listed are enough to keep you from being a stay at home mom. Who cares about student loans? We're all going to DIE! Don't you want to stay home and spend time with your baby while you can? Don't you feel bad that he is getting sick all the time from being at daycare? Student loans can be put into forbearance, and you can stay home. You can make it work. Anyone who says they can't is not really trying. We make it on a very low income. We are resourceful, we do without, and the kids wear hand me downs, but I don't regret it one bit. Material things are not important, and what better way to teach your children that than doing without so that you can spend your time with them? It is only a short time that they are little and will be with you. Some day after they are grown, you will be all alone. Do you want to look back and know that you missed out to go to work where no one cares as much about you as your child?!

I understand completely. I hate having to drop my daughter off at daycare to go to work, even though she loves it there and I know she's happy and well taken care of, I want to be the one to do it. We have a long term plan, my hubby is trying to get a promotion, I'm trying to get the bills paid off that my salary pays, and then hopefully I'll be able to either stay home or only work part time. It helps me to know that I have that long term plan.

And the times we do spend together are much more special. My husband and I spend time together cleaning the house a little at a time, not caring about the clutter, because we're spending the rest of the time with our daughter. Now that she's 3, she helps out more and the house is a bit cleaner, but those days are days we cant get back and I treasure them knowing we spend them doing important things, not silly ones.

And I'm not sure what you do for a living, but maybe you could get set up with an agency (I went through Accounting Principals to find my current job) to help you find something that you might like better?

I should warn you before you read this that most of what I have to tell you will not likely help you feel better about going to work. So, read it at your discretion.

There is a very wise thing I once read from an incredible man named `Abdu'l-Baha. It is such a simple principle, but is so often overlooked. He said, "We must give up the important things for the most important things." If you stop for one moment and just ask yourself, you may begin to change your perspective about what is most important. Once you are clear about what is most important, the second thing to do is to be aware that there are probably more than just two options available to you. You do have only one child, but there are likely many options when it comes to jobs, homes, credit, career plans, etc. You seem to feel that your husband's career plans should be protected at all costs, but something in you is now more instinctively aware that you may both come to regret that decision in the future. Women are usually far more intuitive than men about such things. It is not always easy to help a husband to appreciate this and take such instincts seriously. After 36 years of marriage and raising a son who will be 24 in one week, I can tell you that it is important to pay attention to those instincts.

Our culture, in just a couple of generations, has developed a very unrealistic expectation of both children and mothers. The results are proving devastating for our children. Mother have instincts. These are very powerful and are not mere emotional dilemmas. The idea that mothers should get control of such 'feelings' as if those 'feelings' are a weakness on their part is a gross confusion.

Often, a mother's instinct is a feeling that the mind tries to explain away. When it comes down to it, your very strong feeling that your child needs you may not have much to do with communicable diseases. This may just be the thoughts your mind leaps to to explain why you sense there is some danger in leaving your child. Keep in mind that each child is very unique. There are several developmental reasons a child is better off staying with the mother throughout early childhood, but these reasons are more important to some children than others.

For example, most people do not realize that the patterns of certain vital brain functions (in the limbic system) are largely determined by the relationship with the person to whom the infant is most attached during the first 9 months of life. When conducting EEGs on both the mother and the baby it has been proven that the baby's brain wave patterns become identical with the mother's while nursing. People tend to think that once a child is born they learn everything via the 5 senses and all communication relies on touch, vision, smell, sound, or taste. Science has now proven what most mother's have always felt. There is a sort of invisible umbilical cord that is not, and under most circumstances should not, be severed at birth.

One thing that saddens me about our culture is that much of what we have learned about the importance of infants staying near their mothers has not become widely known. Perhaps we are afraid of the guilt we might feel or we are afraid to admit that some of us, even if we do know these things, will still not feel satisfied to alter our career plans. But, there is a great principle we need to get honest about. The truth will set us free. We need to face these truths. If we don't, our greatest difficulty will not be how to deal with our emotions, but how to deal with damaged children.

Looking back, I wish I could have lived in some tribal culture where whatever jobs women may perform, they do it with their baby strapped to them. For thousands of years humanity has respected the sacred bond between mothers and their babies. With all the fantastic possibilities our advances in knowledge and culture have brought us, it would seem reasonable that we would use these advances to protect what is most important to us, not to rob ourselves of what is most important.

Your child is very blessed to have a mother who can feel what you feel. If you have dared to read what I have written, print it out and give it to your husband to read. Then, between the two of you, you might be able to rethink priorities and think about the whole situation more creatively. There is a book I read many years ago entitled 'A Whack on the Side of the Head'. It explains that we often feel trapped when we feel we have to make a choice between only two options. There may be a thousand different possibilities. I know you feel like everything is down to the wire and you don't have much time, but it may not take as much time as you think if you are both willing to consider ways you might, at least temporarily, adjust your plans.

And, by the way, the above info about a child's brain development is just one example of what most of us do not know about the importance of babies staying with their mothers. More is being learned every day. Not one single experiment proves that babies are better off in day care, unless there is something really wrong with the mother. A psychiatrist told me some of what science had learned about these things 30 years ago. This information is out there, but this is not the kind of information that sells parenting magazines. But, just think about it. The largest percentage of parenting magazines are probably purchased by working mother to read on their lunch breaks or while getting pedicures. The publishers know this and are not likely going to include articles that do not support their market. There is not a lot of money to be made by encouraging mothers to stay home with their children, and no one can afford to publish magazines that don't sell. To get to the truth about such things, we have to be willing to search out and investigate things for ourselves.

I know you feel like the world is on your shoulders. I hope that what I have offered here is of real help to you and has not just added to your feeling burdened. I also hope your husband is willing to respect your feelings. Mothers have instincts that fathers do not. These instincts and feelings need to be understood and given a chance. Yes, some mother worry too much. But, I feel that if they were allowed to investigate the reasons for their instincts and understand them, they would learn which feelings are sound instincts and which are emotionally fragilities and would worry much less. So, please do not try to simply set your 'feelings' aside as if they are the problem. Respect yourself and help your husband to respect your role as a mother.

My advise is to decide if the time away from your baby is worth the paycheck and paying someone else to watch your baby. They are only young once!

Does your work not allow you to use sick time to take care of your sick kid? Most do, I would talk to HR.

What part are you having difficulty with? Do you want to be a stay at home mom? Only work part time? Is the actual daycare dropoff the problem, do you need to find another? Or do you just not like your job?

How long have you been back to work?

I am also a working mom and found it really difficult. Especially with all the illness early on. It has gotten better though. I think that you need to decide what it is you want, or think you want, and try it out. Maybe take a leave from work, and see if that fits. I know of a few moms that quit work, and then realized that they needed that part of their life back, but haven't been able to get back into the workforce yet. Don't make any drastic decisions, but do try to get to the bottom of what you want and try it out.

All children catch all kinds of illnesses whether they were born early or not. It will toughen their immune systems, but can be tedious in the process. This is a been there done that situation. When my first son was born I was working for a doctors office and he was in daycare. He caught everything under the sun. We agreed that I would be the one to take off since my husbands job paid more, therefore was more important in the issue of being the provider for our family. My boss fussed and fussed but there was nothing I could do about it.
I went on to have two more children and I am now a stay at home Mom. It is tough living on one income, but you make things work. You make do with what you have. You don't really need expensive cars, big houses, and all the extra money to go out on to make things work. The decision to get out of the work force was the best one to make for us.

Cayla, the one with whom you need to work this is out is not your employer as much, I fear, as it is your spouse. It is great that he enjoys what he is doing, but at what and whose expense? You're miserable in your job, your record is being compromised because it appears work life balance may not be at the top of your employers list and the baby is suffering.

Sounds like choices may need to be revisited. Student loans can be deferred or forbeared until they can more comfortably be addressed. The cost of day care isn't cheap and studies say that unless you are making 2.5 times the cost of daycare, the more economical and certainly, it sounds like, the most emotionally/psychologically sound thing for you, may be to stay home or change positions to something part time. Don't worry about being in the senior position, you are obviously capable, people recognize that wherever you work, you'll always move into positions of increasing responsibility and you will be compensated accordingly. Also, look for jobs with companies that are noted for their family friendly, work-life balance philosophy. I work for one, it makes all the difference in the world to be able to work from home or office, to be able to make up missed hours due to a little one's unanticipated illness. We are mom's first, bottom line!

I was forced to return to work after being home a short while with my daughter. I remember my dad saying that if my husband and I were working to pay car notes and huge mortgages and if one paycheck couldn't cover all the necessities, than maybe we were living beyond our means--it used to infuriate me! But he was right, in hind site. My pediatrician made me feel alot better about the decision to return to work saying that it is an opportunity to prepare for the school age when she will need me home most: when the boys start calling and she's driving, lol! She was retiring to stay home with her middle schoolers and my sister-in-law gave up medicine as well during the middle school years. It was a logical argument, but it didn't make me feel better. What did, however, was putting her in a pre-school that was bright and sunny, always welcoming to parent visits, and maybe overly staffed (ratio was 1 teacher to every 5 toddlers max) with lots of outdoor and creative activities.

Remember, we're mom's first, no job nor title changes that. If your son is prone to illness, you'll have to reconsider the best environment for him and the best way to assure he is in it. Hubby may have to get a second job and mom may have to go to part time with another company. There are no easy answers, every family and every situation is different, of course, but sister-to-sister, I can tell you I have been there and the right decisions were never easy but always kept the kids first. But a little research into those companies identified as the best place for mom's to work is a start.

PS--don't you dare question your desire to give your baby all the attention in the world...he deserves it and you need not feel guilty for wanting him to have it!

have you thought about trying to work from home at all? i dont know what kind of money you would need to be making to stay home at all, but i am a stay at home mom and i work from home. i do it very part time, so i dont make a ton of cash, but i know that i was working with a girl a lot lately who was determined to replace her income within a year so she could be home before this next school year started and she is definitely making it. it just takes a lot of time and effort. ( http://www.PerfectWorkForMoms.com if you want to check it out ) have you considered a private nanny in your home instead of daycare so he can at least be home? or maybe just a stay at home mom who would be willing to watch them?

Hang in there. It does get a little easier as they get older. Remember that your child will bond with other caregivers... and that is ok. YOU will always be his Mommy. And you will always be special.

My husband and I both work... live in Boston... lots of debt... house payment, etc.

We maintain a consistent routine for our children, which includes daycare, school, and aftercare. My dtr is now 5, in daycare since 4 months old. Lovely, well behaved child. Still prefers Mommy, but very comfortable with others caring for her. I also have a newborn and will be facing the same challenges all over again.

We focus on making any time spendt together quality... and not saying yes to other things like: a spotless house, PTA, every social invitation, running every single errand, etc.

Hang in there.... Hook up with some other Mom's at your work... they make all the dfifference and can relate to what you are going through!

I think the #1 issue is that you hate your job.

If you felt bonded with your job, you probably would have a better adjustment and juggle mommyhood and FT work better. But you hate it, you don't want to be there, you don't feel fulfilled, you're disengaged from it, you're going through the motions just for the paycheck... And that is creating two other issues: 1.) when you're in a situation that you dislike, the grassy alternative (which in your case is being a SAHM) will always look greener--and you'll always find more and more reasons to dislike the grass your presently standing on; and 2.) that you hate your job and would rather not be there is probably becoming obvious to your coworkers and boss. You've got to keep in mind: They have a business need. They've had that business need throughout your pregnancy and maternity leave, and during the past 9 months. Other people can fill that need... someone else might not do certain aspects as well as you do it, they might do it differently... but all employees should always remember that someone else can always do your job. And the converse is also true: you can do another job.

If your employer is already approaching you about taking FMLA and work hour issues, they might not be willing to let you do alternative hours. This may not be the right company for you anymore... I was employed at a company before I had children; I really loved that job and the people I worked with, but once I had to juggle mommyhood also, it became clear to me that I needed to find another employer, one that did not have expectations of my job performance based on my pre-motherhood accomplishments and pre-motherhood time availability. And I also knew I needed to take a slight step down when I went to a new job--and that was ok because I knew I could no longer be seen as an 'army of one'; I needed a job that had more of a team environment, where I was not the critical component in getting things done, a position that demanded less evening and weekend work.

So my suggestion is that you 1.) try and change your attitude about having to work and putting your son in daycare. Find a different daycare if necessary. Keep in mind, there is no perfect daycare... you will always find something that you don't like. But you should also be able to see positives that you do like, positives that your son is getting from the daycare environment that balances out the things your dislike. ** If you keep telling yourself that your son would be better staying home with you, then you're setting yourself up for failure. You will create that situation, whether its from voluntarily resigning to be a SAHM or because you lose your job; 2.) Start looking for a different job. What other positions are out there? Maybe you need to contact a head hunter to help you find what you want, maybe you need to investigate what consulting firms are viable alternatives; perhaps you can manage to be a consultant with more flexible hours?

Good luck.