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don't worry, this is how it will be for the rest of mother hood.lol seriously, relaxe, think about the big picture and it will calm you down. think about how it will feel to sit cross legged on your sofa at home and just enjoy holding that baby to you. do you think he is going to care if you have his changing table organized or his room decorated. the fact that you are so worried about all of this tells me that you are going to be a great mom, just remember that if you obsess about all of the little things you won't have time to enjoy the important ones like the last months of your pregnancy. and that might not sound that bad to you right now, but you'll miss it when it's gone. every stage of your childs life will be your favorite, so look forward to that now and RELAXE.

I second Marcy's post.

and to add, i too had all those feelings as well. and even more so once i got home, especially with my first one. i cried the first night i was home, so much. and i couldn't , at the time, figure out what was wrong with me, i should be happy, right? in hindsight, i was, i was just overwhelmed with so much love. Fear was some of it too. i remember saying, what if something happens to him while he's with us. well that was a funny thing to say since he is gonna be 'with us' for ever..haha and things will happen to him..he has fallen, split his lip, bruised his ear very badly.. he's almost 3, and lots and lots of things are gonna happen.
I've learned worrying about something that may or may not happen isn't gonna change if it's gonna happen.
stressing about the labor or pain will only make the labor and pain worst. go with the flow on your labor. expect changes, expect things not to always go the way you had your labor/delivery planned. also know your limits with pain management and don't worry or compare to anyone elses delivery stories or what anyone else will think of how you handle your labor/delivery. everyone's story is sooooooo different, no two are alike.
With my daughter she came at 28 weeks and was in the nicu for 3 months, very much the unexpected. and i feard i had the baby blues, my obgyn was worried about me after delivery, at my weekly check ups(c section to check), and suggested possible medication. i knew i wasn't right, but was fearful of taking that leap into medication. i wish i had, looking back. i had a 10 mo old at hold to take care of and trying to get to see my daughter in the nicu.. anyway..
with my son, what helped me with my fear of the pain was i gave myself permission to do what ever i needed to do to make the experience a good one for me and my husband and a safe one for my son. even if that meant crying, or getting an epidural at 2cm..hahaa.. (i didn't do either..hahah but i knew it was ok if i did need to, that i wasn't weak if i did)
And only strong women ask for help, so for you to accept the help of your sil, you are already a very strong woman/mommy. and i totally agree, just the fact that you are worrying about all this, ,shows you have it together and will be a good mom.
and there is always momasource,, you can email me ask well :-)
garyntina at cox dot net

T.

M.,

Take a breath. You're nesting and it's exactly what you're supposed to do and feel - that 'ol primordial instinct. You will do great. Trust me. I think every new mom feels the same way. I did for sure. Thought about all those things, stressed over them, cried a time or two. But when the time came, the house was as it was - and I accepted that, labor wasn't all that bad, delivery wasn't bad at all (that is what i was most terrified of) even though I was induced and spent 36 hours in the hospital before he was born, I really was only a little sore for about 24 hours - was up walking less than two hours after I had him, baby blues are normal - some women never even get it and if you do, talk to your doctor.

I'm not going to lie and tell you that once we left the hospital and got home, I didn't freak out a little - because I did. It was only my husband, the pets, and baby and I. My parents both passed away and I didn't really have anyone to stay with me. But I quickly got over it and just did it! You will too. Your SIL will be a big help. But just remember, she's there to help with the everyday stuff or to take over for a couple of hours so you can rest. Not for taking care of the baby and letting you do the housework, dinner etc.

Once that baby is born, your mommy instinct will kick in. Then you just have to learn to trust it. And don't worry, you will. Just the fact that you are worried about all these things and thinking of them is a good sign that you will be a great mommy and have great mommy instincts. And, for those other times when you just need a "shoulder" even a virtual one, we're here at mamasource.

You'll do GREAT!

((hugs))
M.

your going through a big change. As far as things go, the only things you really need are diapers, something for when you feeding the baby, a blanket, and some clothes. If you don't have a bed right way, you could take a drawer out and put folded up sheets in it for a bed. My 1st shower was after our son arrived, the only thing we had ready was the crib was up and about 3 changes of clothes.

Let you sister know that after the baby is born you'll need some extra help. If she's staying there, she should be willing to help out. The best thing my mom said to me, was for the first 2 weeks afterwards. My (and dad's) job was to tend to the baby. Don't worry about anything else, that's what she was there for. I was to get used to what baby needed and get rest. There would be plenty of time for others to hold and play with her.

Hello M. -
I agree with the previous post. There is something that happens to Mommies abot the 7 month mark or so. "Having a baby" starts to become more of a reality. The thought "this baby is truly coming" - one way or another. And yes the nesting is a normal part of pregnancy. Try to enjoy these last few months as uncomfortable as you are. Put the word out if you need help with things, start a list of items you will need for baby. They don't need alot but there are some basics.
The first few days or up to a month of when baby comes home can be overwhelming, but you will get the hang of things. Then they start to smile and coo at you. Good stuff
You will be a good mommy because you have been taking care of yourself and that little one in your tummy and you care about getting prepared for your little one. Take care,
L.

All I can say is that if I could do it at 16, 18, 19, & 22, then trust me....you can too. The biggest thing to remember is that if you need help, just ask. Friends and family are always excited to do what they can when there is a new baby in the family. After the baby shower, I was overwellmed due ti having too much for the baby. I did not use half. RELAX! If you are stressed, your baby will be stressed.
Hang in there!
M. S.

I went through the same thing. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I starting nesting. Making sure everything was just perfect for the baby, I'm sure that will hit you sometime soon. And when that happens, you pretty much get everything done that you need to! You might drive the hubby crazy though!! I did! Just don't worry about it. I was 24 when I had my daughter and thought that I didn't know anything. And it all just came to me...it was like I was meant to be a mom. You'll get the hang of it. And the best advice anyone ever gave me was to ask for help when you need it!! From family, friends, anyone!

Oh boy I know exactly where you are coming from I am 20 and a first time mom of a almost 3 month old! When I was as far along as you are I was a wreck I would cry just about every day my hubby thought that I was nuts!! He kept asking I thought you wanted to have a baby and I did more than ever but it was just so much going on at once.

My mom lives in Canada with her new husband and I would call her at least once a day asking questions or just to talk (my phone bill was nuts!!) And even to this day I am not sure that I doing everything RIGHT! you get so much advice from everyone and you really have to take some and leave some if you try to do everything the way someone else does you will go nuts TRUST ME! You have to really just go with the flow! your baby will be different than anyone elses and that is just the way you want it. Not to say that you cant ask advice I do all the time but I have noticed that most of the time you go with your gut and that turns out to be the right thing to do. And just remember enjoy it you will do just fine labor..delivery...everything. Like the other posters kids get hurt...sick...happy...mad just like everyone else. Hope this helps!!
like the old saying Don't worry be happy!!!!!
B.

I also agree with the 3 other posts... I know it's hard to be calm when such a life changing event is on it's way; add to that the hormones!! Just try to remember that you have people that care and are willing to help, and things will be OK!! I was a mess during my pregnancy. I lost my job about half way through (a live in position which meant I also had to move) and my boyfriend got deployed to Guam for 4 months (our son was a month old when they "met") I was SO worried about being alone in the delivery room, not having money, etc. But It all worked out fine... I moved into my bf's apt and he ordered baby stuff online and had it shipped to me(I had no money to get stuff on my own). He also left me a phone number in Guam, so I called him when my water broke and he was on the phone with me in the hospital off and on. (My mom was my coach in his absence) Now I have a new job, my bf and I are talking about getting married, and my 8 month old baby is awesome! Looking back I think things went a lot smoother than I expected, and I wish I could have enjoyed it more instead of stressing over every little detail... As for labor, I did it naturally, but knew going in that I was ok with geting drugs if I needed them...I have a quote on my fridge that says "things wouldn't be so hard if we didn't expect them to be so easy" I remember reading that every day before my due date and telling myself that labor was going to be hard, but the reward (my son) was worth it... And you know what? Labor wasn't as bad as I thought it would be either!! if you want a friend, feel free to send me a message!

it is so normal to feel exactly how you are feeling. Believe me you are not alone. It is amazing how everything just falls into place before that baby comes along. All of the worrying and anxiety will just stop and everything you have gone thru will be so worth it when you see that babies beautiful face. it is amazing how you forget all of the struggles and maybe a liitle pain that you went thru. I have had 2 babies and i still could not tell you what i felt like before or during the actually labor and delivery. You will be fine and everything will fall into place just in time for that little baby. good luck and congratulations.

First of all calm down, i understand being a first time mom is scary. There is a mothers instinct that jumps in to help you and it will be there soon. as far as pictures before having the baby, have one taken a couple of weeks before you have him and that will be enough. then when you go to the hospital have one taken and you'll be set. you do need to calm down because to much stress can cause problems. you fiance is fine with things and sounds understanding, so you have alot of help. you'll do great, it already sounds like you care more about this baby then some people out there. so calm down thats all that matters. just remember to love the baby with all your heart and you'll be a great mother.