My husband and I are at our wits end. Since the birth of our daughter 5 weeks ago, our 3 year old boy will not sleep in his bed. He was a terrific sleeper until 1-2 weeks before our daughter was born, and now he will only sleep in our bed. We are desperate to get him back to his bed before I have to go back to work in 4 weeks. We feel like we've tried everything, but maybe there's some trick out there we don't know about? We stick to the same routine each night, bought him a special "bedtime toy" that he can play with when he sleeps in his bed all night, we'll put him back in his bed when he gets out, etc. With a newborn in the house and serious lack of sleep, we really need to get this new habit under control. Any suggestions are very much appreciated. Thanks.
I'd say there is no easing out of it. You need to tell him the rules and stick to them. You'll be in for some crying, but he'll get that you are serious. Put a gate in front of his door and set radio alarm for him that tells him when he can get up or when you'll come get him.
Hi M..
I will admit that my kiddos have not had this issue, but I have read a little about it. I would first try to make you or your husband a bed on the floor in his room and explain that this is temporary. It's amazing what kids understand and I believe the best way for them to "get it" is to explain it and stick to your story. Be insistant and persistant.
You could also let him "camp out" on your floor, but I would get him out of your bed as soon as you can. You may have some really rough nights, but it's better to have them now than in 4 weeks when you are going back to work.
If he is afraid of something (my son had this problem) pull out a favorite stuffed animal and tell the animal (ours was Sully from Monsters Inc) he is in charge of keeping the room safe. Use this as a tool for your child to find comfort.
Anyway, I hope this is helpful. I know it's easier said than done, but I was the same as you when it came time to go back to work. You need your rest to be a quality Mommy after a long day at work.
We just accidentally got our 3 yr old sleeping in his own bed.
1-have a noisy baby in Mom and Dad's Room so Dad wants to sleep somewhere else.
2-Dad sleeps on floor in Boy's room next to Boy's bed...Boy sleeps in Boy's bed.
3-After baby's old enough to sleep in her own room, Dad comes back to sleep in his own bed. "Daddy's sleeping in Daddy's bed. You sleep in your bed."
I don't know why that made sense to him. But, now he sleeps in his own bed.
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get him a sleeping bag or pillow/blanket that you keep under your bed. if he comes in tell him "you can't sleep in mommy's bed, but you can sleep on the floor. Let's get your pillow and blanket."
Sounds like you are doing everything I would try by sticking to the bedtime routine, offering rewards, etc. Have you considered letting him sleep with you for a while you so can all get some rest? Remember that his world was just turned upside down too! He is just looking for a way to maintain his attachment with mom and dad, and night time may be the only chance he has for one-on-one time with you. Have you made a point to have alone time with big brother each day?
My kids are 25 months apart, and we went through a potty regression just before baby was born and for a few weeks after. The problems resolved itself after some time for big sister to adjust to her new brother. I know you are tired - just remember there will come a time soon when he will never want to snuggle/sleep in bed with you again! Try to embrace it!
Our problem exactly. I purchased a tether we named "Monkey Backpack" (from Wal-Mart, it is a child leash that is a stuffed animal backpack with a tail). We tied the tail to his bed and snapped the closures around his chest. If he stays in bed with monkey helping him, he doesn't need to have monkey backpack on him the next time. Desperate times may call for desperate measures. However, we give our 3yo lots of cuddles, stories and love prior to bedtime, but insist that he sleeps safely in his own bed. When he knows you are serious, he may be more able to stay in his bed. It isn't perfect, but our 3yo son is getting the idea. Good luck!
Hi,
This might not sound conventional, but this is what we did with our son after the twins were born. We made a bed for him on our floor. Slowly we moved the bed further and further from our bed until it was out of our room. Instead of sleeping with us he was able to sleep by us and feel the comfort, and we gradually moved him out of our room so that he would sleep in his own bed. Maybe that'll work.
hi M. my names A. and im not sure if i can help but ill sure try. my husband and i seperated 9 months ago and since then our 2yr old daughter has been sleeping in bed with him, so when she is with me it was very difficult to get her to sleep in her own bed. it will take few a few nights in a row maybe even a week of doing this to get him in his own bed but hopefully it works. ok..start by telling him "its time for bed and we are going into your room and we are going to read 3 stories (or however many you prefer) and then your going to sleep in your bed." then after each book tell him "ok two more stories....ok one more story...and your going to sleep in your own bed." if he sleeps with music. turn on some sleepy music and tell him you'll sit there with him for 1 song. after that song say "ok sweetie mommy (or daddy) will see you in the morning" tell him you love him and leave room. he'll probably cry but let him for a bit and then go in and reasure him that your there and you'll see him in the morning and its bed time. just keep doing that till he stays in bed. i hope this helps a little. this is how i did it with my little girl:) good luck
maybe it would help to play in his room a tape/cd of you or another familiar voice reading or singing. my mom recorded herself doing a bunch of easter rhymes and songs and my kids love to listen to it any time of year. if you do a cd, you can set it on repeat so it plays all night. good luck! i know how frustrating this can be!
It sounds like you really have tried everything! I agree with the first reply. Maybe you can solve the problem during the day by giving him more attention. It's crazy, I know. I've been there! My boys are 2 years apart, and with a new baby, it seems like just taking care of her should be enough for one day! But if you think about it, you can find ways to give your son more attention.
One thing I did is while I was nursing the baby, I pulled up big brother right next to us, put my arm around him, and we read a book together. The baby was oblivious, so it was really more about me and big brother. I also told him many, many times, along with an extra hug, that no matter how big he gets, even when he's as tall as Daddy, he will always be my baby. It took several times before I got a shy smile out of him when I said that, and he didn't always even acknowledge it, but I know it sunk in because he remembers it to this day (2 years later).
I also tried to involve him in taking care of the baby, by bringing me diapers and the pacifier. We bought him a doll to take care of while I took care of the baby, but he really didn't get into any of that, but every little bit of attention helps.
It also helps to have one-on-one time with each of you after Daddy gets home. Daddy should be having one-on-one time with the baby, too, so spend about 10 minutes with one, then switch.
I hope some of that will help you get more sleep!
He just is craving extra attention from you all, which can be a juggling act. Don't cave when he gets out of bed, even if it takes 100 times just nicely put him back and be firm. He is testing you, establishing his spot with you now with a new baby. Make sure you carve out some special time for him during the day. Put up a chart and tell him now he is a BIG brother and it is his job to sleep only in his own bed and get a good nights sleep and show the new baby what a big boy he is. Then do a chart, for every night he stays put, put up a sticker, then at the end of the week or month let him go pick out a special surprise.
Do not cave though!! Do not, no matter how tired you are as he is finding your weak point. Just keep without saying much or raising your voice put him back into his own bed. Eventually it will get easier and he will just do it. The fact he did great until a few weeks ago, he is just trying to stay close to you. Reassure him that he is still your big boy and how much you love him throughout the day.
It will take some time, he will get it figured out, just do not cave. Being consistent is so important.
M.,
If you do not want to leave your son to cry it out, I would suggest The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley. (http://tinyurl.com/5e3oe2) We used her infant version with both of our girls, and it was a huge help.
Best of luck,
S.
