I'm trying to lose weight and I sign up on health club for the first week my daughter was okay she didn't cry @ the Kids club but now she crys since we get their till we leave I don't know what to do Can any one give me ideas????
I just want to thank to all the wonderful moms that gave me an advise I'm trying to follow all you told me to do. But I think it's going to take a lot of time. Thank you again
Have you asked them how long she cries? It may be only until you leave and then she stops. I have a daycare boy that does that every day to his Mom.
Somebody told me that the first time you should take them there for 10 minutes, the next time take them for 15 minutes, then 20, then 25, etc. Maybe you could stay with her and play together the first time, until she gets comfortable with it. Good luck.
D.,
It sounds like something may have happened there to make your daughter uncomfortable during that first week. I wonder if there is another child/staff there that scared/hurt her somehow? That is a pretty quick turn around!
Children under the age of 3 cannot cognitively reason that when you leave their sight you will come back. You can tell them you'll be back all you want, but their brain development doesn't allow for it. If she feels you have left, she has no idea where you went or when you will be back.
If you can find the same provider each time it will help, then call it "Lisa's playroom" or what ever the name of the provider is.
Then, try spending some time with her in the day care - even go sometimes just to play in the day care with her for a while and then both of you decide it's time to leave. Make the day care her place to go to have fun by making sure she likes it.
You will have to focus on weaning her "on" to this situation or let her cry it out. I would take the weaning approach. If the day care is a place she wants to go as much as you do, you will both win.
D. - I'm afraid I'm gong to have to respectfully disagree with the idea to sit there before you work out. I'm a licensed daycare provider and in my years of experience I can tell you that the faster you drop off and make a run for it the better. Don't make a big issue of saying "goodbye" or hugging and soothing - it only makes it worse. Just sign her in, quick kiss, mommy loves you and I'll be right back in just a little bit and then go. Generally, once toddlers realize that you are not going to give in the crying and stay, they will wander off to play and eventually won't even cry when you drop them off at all. Oh, and it's totally normal that she would have been fine the first week and then started this. It probably took her a week to figure out that hey, when we come here, mom actually leaves me here and goes to do something else! Don't worry, this too shall pass. Good luck! K.
Has there been a change, such as, a new teacher or child at the kids club? A different environment such as these can cause a child to act different.
I agree that you should set up a routine (same time of day so hopefully the same workers will be there) and just give a quick kiss and let her know you'll be back in a little bit. If you gives you a piece of mind, I think it would be okay to stay for a little while ONCE by engaging her in a toy/activity, step away for a few minutes where she can still hear and see you and then give her a quick kiss and goodbye. Or maybe have one of the employees play with you and her and then she might feel more comfortable that you're not leaving her 'alone'. If you start staying with her you are teaching her that if she cries enough you will do what she wants. Then you will find that she will start crying in more situations to get her desired result.
I have gone through this will both my children and I tell them "You can cry all you want, but Mommy still has to go. I'll be back as soon as I can." You can use this too when they cry about wanting a toy at the store or candy or whatever. This way others around you know you not just ignoring your child and are trying to teach them that bad behavior doesn't benefit.
Good luck!
She's at a prime age for separation anxiety so it should get better after she gets past this phase. Can you go at a time when her older brother can be with her? At least at first to get used to it? I work in a church nursery and for the little ones with separation anxiety it can be really comforting to have an older sibling there. I also agree with the daycare provider who advised you to give her a quick kiss and leave. Sticking around with her or prolonged goodbyes only make it worse and harder for them. Peeking in (so that they see you) can also make it worse. Sometimes we just get a child calmed down, the parent looks in, the child sees them and we have to start all over again. If it doesn't improve or you have concerns about something specific to the Kids Club you take her to maybe you could shop around for a new health club. I've been very happy with the child care at the YMCA. Good luck.
First of all, this is the reason why I asked if something happened with your daughter at the gym. Secondly, this is the reason I said to sit with her for a bit and observe the situation. *My daughter did the same thing. She was fine for a few days then when I went to pick her up, the skin on her nose was completely torn off and nobody in the Kids Club noticed. A bit frustrating-YES! The director didn't even notice the blood on her nose when she was handing my daughter over to me. After a word with the director and other personnel in charge, I decided to sit with my daughter for awhile and observe the situation.
My daughter had a really tough time going there after that episode. Yes, I understand that kids have accidents, that's part of life, but for no one to notice when they are caring for my child is uncalled for.
So, observing your daughter and the situation will give you a better understanding as to whether or not your daughter really has a problem with the club or just separation from you.
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Did something happen the last time you went? Little ones remember when they've been hurt or where and that can cause some anxiety.
Something that might help is just asking the Dept. manager/director of the Kids Club if you can sit in there for a bit before your workout. Also see if your son can play with your daughter awhile to get her comfortable with the place.
Something that helps me is to go at a specific time (or around that specific time) everyday. That way my daughter (17 mos.) gets to know the employees and feels more comfortable with them when I drop her off. My two older children play with her every now and then throughout their time in the Kids Club so she feels more relaxed and not abandoned.
She obviously is going through some kind of trauma. Either something happened to her physically or mentally. I have seen the child centers and they are overwhellming. The energy there may be an overload for her. Do you have someone close to you that will sit with her during your workout at there home. At first going to a new place seems to be like Disneyland, however, once other rules and personalities come into play and she is surrounded by something she or you cannot control it becomes disatisfying. Talk with your son. See if something happened to her. Maybe someone there scared her or disciplined her and her skin crawls to be there. Does she have this response to other places you may take her. Look further into the situation.
M. M.
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