Need Some Advice! - Rockton,PA

My ex kicked us out. My son, myself, 2 cats and 2 dogs. We moved from Fort Collins,CO to State College,Pa and into my parents house. I was depressed at first. I realized it is easier to care for your child alone than be mad at your spouse for not doing anything. I got a job and had my parents there to watch my son until I could afford daycare.

It is going to be really tough a first but you are young and your kids need to be raised in a good enviroment.

Here comes the up front paragraph...
If you are moving out of state, make sure you get WRITTEN approval from your husband that you can move your children out of state. Have it notarized if you can.
Take a stash of cash before he has a chance to take it all. Cancel ALL you joint credit cards. DO NOT beleive him when it comes to money and child support. File for support as soon as you can. I know so many women who believed their spouse would send support but after the first month or two it stopped.

If you need help placing your puppies in a good home feel free to contact me and I will help. Let me know what the breed,sex,and age of the puppies and I will get them a loving home.

BE STRONG!!!!!!

Oh sweetie, I feel for you. Twins are rough. My best friend has them. I have 3 children also and I will be divorced as of January. My ex cheated on me, got me and the other woman pregnant and our babies are 10 days apart. He chose her and their child together over me and our children. I really know what you are going through. The thing is that if you feel that he is not a good father or husband it is better to get out now than wait. My kids are 5, 3 and 3.5 mos. So I really can sympathize. It will get better, trust me! I didn't think it would and I was miserable in the beginning. What you need to do is find some great friends and people to hang out with. Get yourself a babysitter and go out. Not necessarily to hook up with anyone but just get out of the house. It will be a long and hard road but you need to think what is best for your children. If you are not happy they are not happy....no matter what you think you cannot change him.

If you ever want to talk email me at ____@____.com I realized that my kids and myself were better off without him......I became much happier. It will come, trust me, you may not think so and you may try everything in the book to get him back, just ask yourself is this the life you want for you and especially is this what you want to teach your kids. It's hard.....probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do.....you can do it. You really can!

J.,

You're in a rough spot but its not the end. There is light at the end of the tunnel and its not a freight train.

It'll be hard. Every day will be uphill for a while, and then it gets a little easier. And then a little easier.

Its no picnic being a single mom, but you said you're sick of him not being a good husband or father. It'll be better in the long run because your kids won't see how their dad is acting and think its ok. Kids live what they learn and your girls will look for boys who act like their dad when choosing boyfriends. Your son will think its ok to treat women like your husband is treating you.

My man left and he thought I would curl up and die. Sure it was hard, especially at first. Truth is, we are all a heck of a lot better off without him. Plus, now I have a wonderful husband whom I thank God for every day.

Find a good sitter. Go get your own bank account. Try to get a picture of your finances. Make a plan. Get a lawyer, make sure your husband pays his share of alimony and child support to get you though. You don't have to be like Ivana Trump who said, "Don't get mad, get EVERYTHING!" but you need to make sure you and your kids are provided for.

Better things are ahead for you, J.. Let us know how you're doing, k?

Beth

HI J.,

WHEN ME & MY HUSBAND SPLIT I WAS THE MOTHER OF 5 CHILDREN,
THEIR AGES WERE 3,3,8,12,13, AND I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE END, BUT I DID SURVIVE, THINGS DID GET TOUGH AT TIMES, BUT THEN I MET A WONDER MAN WE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 16YRS NOW AND WE HAVE
8 GRANDCHILDREN & 2 MORE ON THE WAY. SO DON'T THINK THIS IS THE END. JUST KEEP YR HEAD UP AND DO THE BEST YOU CAN, AND IT WOULD PROBABLY HELP IF YOU MOVED BACK TO WHERE YOU HAVE FAMILY, IT WOULD HELP YOU TO HAVE SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU NEAR, BUT I WAS A SINGLE PARENT FOR 6YRS WORKING AND TRYING TO PAY THE BILL, BUT MY EX DID GIVE ME CHILD SUPPORT EVERY WEEK. WELL I HOPE THINGS WORK OUT FOR YOU , PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW U MAKE OUT OR IF YOU NEED TO TALK. MY EMAIL IS ____@____.com

If he is willing go to counseling!!!! You may be able to save your marriage and family. I am a single mom with two kids and my ex would not go to counseling. I would not recomend raising kids alone if at all possible it's tough on the kids, you, and your husband. To be completly honest it is easier to explain death to a child than divorce. If at all possible push for counseling and be open and honest with the counselor and your husband.