Need Lots of Advice! New Pregnancy

C.,

As I write, I'm expecting #5... and yes, there are still questions I have, feeling that are differnet or that I don't remember, and wonders running through my head. Sometimes I wonder how could I have done this 4 times and not know this. But every pregancy is a little different - they all are kinda new.

1) I tried the sling thing with my 2 yr old & did find it very easy to use - so I gave up.

2) I have attempted to nurse all my kids... the first (now 15) it didn't work - I was 17 and it just never happened. The 2nd (now 5), she nursed for about 6-7 weeks. The 3rd (now 4), he nursed for about 8 weeks. And my 4th (now 2 1/2), he nursed for about 8-9 months. Nursing altouhg it would be great if it was natural isn't. There are classes that can be taken (Akron Preg. Service) offers one - my sister teaches it. Plus, the nurses at most hospitals will help you when you are there - just ask. I know it can be odd having someone else get the baby in position, show you how to get them to latch, and the proper way of getting them to release. But it can also be super helpful in the end. I think each of mine were a little different also. The youngest is a "pig" well loves to eat & has since birth. So, he was always the easiest. But my girl only like being held one way or she won't even latch on. Each baby has to learn how to nurse & mom has to learn how each baby like being nursed. Let them help you at the hospital to find out some clue that will help both of you.

3) Kids at this age get use to change quickly. But I let mine know there is a baby in my tummy. He asked me why I ate a baby - lol. We told him it is growing and will come to meet him this summer.

When I was pregnant with my now 2 1/2 yr old... I showed the almost 2 & 3 yr olds the ultrasounds, and let them be a part of picking out things for the baby on the way. They were excited to get to meet the one they had been buying gifts for. There are also book out there you can read to you little one. After the baby was born, I would read books to the others when nursing & always made time for then by themself, even 5 min of playing with little people helped or sitting by the bathtub and talking to them during bathtime. I understand babies take lots of time & attention, so personnaly - if the dishes had to wait so I could have cuddle time with my 2 & 3 yr old, they waited.

In the end... your son will adjust quicker & accept the new addition better if he still get attention. Let him in on picking some bedding for the baby or a few outfits or even socks, toys, bottles or whatever you need. Let him know what is coming, show him the ultrasound or take him to that appointment & let him hear the heartbeat too. Mainly let him be invaulved! After the baby arrives - make your son still feel special cause he is! At 2 they like to help - even by grabing the wipes or a diaper for you. It makes them feel big & proud. And don't forget the one on one time with your son - he still needs it.

Just don't show your son you are scared or he will be also... if you show him you are happy & excited - he will pick-up on it and get that way too about the new baby.

Sorry so long!!!

Good luck & congratz on the new little one!!!

Hi C.,

Congratulations! I think one of the joys you will find is what good friends your two that are close in age will be when they are younger! It is a blessing to see!

I have back issues so I was never able to use a sling, but my friend loved one called hugabub. It is a long strip of cloth, that is soft and perfect when they are little. You can put it in a lot of positions and it is easy to clean. It comes with instructions and a video I think, to show you all the ways you can use it to carry your baby.

For the breastfeeding I agree with one of the Beth B.'s (got confused until I realized there were two) about the Leleche League. They will be very supportive and there is always one in your area. Just go to their website and you will find a group near you with a consultant that will help you FOR FREE! If, in the end, there is a problem that keeps you from being able to breastfeed don't beat yourself up. I have been able to breastfeed two and bottle fed three and they are all healthy happy kids.

To prepare our son for the birth of his little sister we got him a doll. We played with him so that he knew how to love the baby, feed the baby, change the baby etc. It helped us alot when we brought our daughter home. When we had to devote extra attention to little sis we would have him get his baby and sit beside us and take care of his baby. Another benefit was that it gave us a chance to talk about and practice gentle touch. The ways we had to be careful and the safety rules for when little sis got here. Now they are 2 and 3 yrs. old and the very best of friends and our son was suprisingly loving and gentle with her from the day we brought her home.

Hope this helps,

L.

Hello! I also highly reccomend going to Le Leche League meetings. Informative, fun, a little time to get out just you and baby...great support system.

The LC I met w/ was helpful but very busy, I could never of called her up to answer a Q like I did w/ the L.L.L..

I loved the book "So That's What They're For!" by Janet Tamaro. So funny and informative. A must read before baby is here!

I used a sling w/ my daughter and used it a LOT but struggled w/ it.

I also tried to make my own wrap, buying yards and yards of fabric...but I never bought enough. I am not sure what the person who reccomended buying 5-6 feet of fabric is talking about. (I am not a huge woman.) I'd be curious to see it done w/ so little fabric...
Anyhow, I asked for a wrap for Christmas, was going to go w/ the Moby, but went w/ the Wrap'n Wear instead (prettier-same concept).
Unfortunately my baby isn't here yet so I haven't gotten to test it yet, but I did just measure it for you (if you want to make your own) and it is about 17 feet long. I bought the larger one and I think the smaller one was only slightly smaller. Check out their website-it gives dimensions.

Think (HOPE!) the wrap works better than the sling. I want a good secure hold.

I have a Baby Bjorn too, and I really like it but it was always a little cumbersome for me...I tend to only use it when we are going to be out for a long time doing some serious walking.

My daughter is 4 so can't help you out on the sibling thing, but will say that I love the bond I see between my friends children who are so close in age. Hard, but worth it. I wanted mine close, but God saw otherwise. :)

GL! Hope that helps!

Congratulations to you C.!

I tried many types of carriers. The Moby wrap baby carrier is expectional for small infants. If you are crafty and have the time, you can make your own. Also, the Ergo carrier is so so wonderful for back support and is great for a baby with head control and a toddler up to 40 pounds. I loved mine!

Nursing...my daughter is 18 months and she still nurses at bedtime and for her nap. However, I had such a rough start and didn't think I could do it. I had to ease into it with pumping a little and nursing a little. My breasts were so tender. Then I ended up with mastitis. With all of that, I still made it through. My BEST help and support came from a Le Leche League member. You can go to the website and find a local leader. You call them and home and they are so happy to help. They also hold meetings you can attend.

Best wishes to you!
K.

Congrats. I have three too (6, 3, and 16 months). The biggest advice I have is see a lactation consultant in the hospital. They are trained to teach you latching techniques and provide reassurance. Good for you for keeping trying! You're right, most women think it'll just come naturally and find it harder than they thought. But most women can feed successfully with a little help from others. La Leche League is a great resources. Also, there are Youtube videos out there that can give you a real example if you don't know many other nursing moms.

My youngest was a couple days short of two when I had number 3. We had her birthday party a week or so earlier to reduce chance of going to labor right when we were celebrating her birthday. There's not a whole of prep, I think. Just say, "you're going to be a little brother AND a big brother! That is double special!" and leave it at that. Don't ask the older ones to help TOO much (a little bit will make them feel important, but asking too much might make them feel resentful).

It's going to be great-good luck!

I never used the slings. I know some people who love them, but it wasn't something I was very interested in - don't know why.

The "bundle me" things to put in the car seat - loved it! There's another thing from LL Bean or Eddie Bauer that's a cover for the car seat with a little "window flap" for the baby to peak out of (there's a flap that flips open/closed with a little piece of velcro to hold it up/down).

Dr. Brown's bottles were wondrous. We tried breast feeding. The first time the hospital people weren't helpful in the slightest, but the second time, we couldn't get rid of that lactation consultant! I have a hormone issue that was impeding that process, so I had my "boohoo poor me" moment, and then went on with the bottle. My husband said that secretly he was a little happy that it didn't work out because that meant he could get up and help in the middle of the night.

Our oldest was 3 when we had our second. As the time got closer, we started telling her that mommy had a baby in her tummy and that soon, there'd be a little sister (we found out the gender), and how excited we were about it, and how much fun it was going to be. And that when it was time to have her, I would need to be in the hospital for a while, but everything was going to be fine. That way, when I went to have our 2nd, it wasn't as big of a deal that I was in the hospital with her, and our oldest kept asking my husband to come see mommy and sister.

For what it's worth, and good luck!

Check out the reviews on the Ergo carriers with infant inserts... AWESOME!!!

Some of the "wrap" type of slings do not work for all body types and usually take a learning curve to figure out how to use them so baby doesn't look crunched and your not always adjusting them.

Get ahold of Laleche league in your area or see if your hospital has a lactation consultant. There is only so much people can tell you without seeing you in action!!! Or find some moms that sucessfully nursed and ask them about it... If you do have problems, ask one of them to come over and give you some tips...

Your 2 yr old has no clue... But should accept it when it happens with little problems. Until mommy starts getting a big belly I wouldn't even make a big deal about talking to him/her about it. Once there is a belly it will make more sense to them...

I am on my 4th and yes, everyone is new, exciting, nerve wracking with the what ifs, tiring, and different. :-)

My daughter was about 2 when we had my son so we didn't say anything until i started showing a lot and then i would just start talking about how big mommy's belly is getting because there is a baby growing in there. after a couple months of that, we took her with us to the ultrasound so she could see her new baby brother or sister and then we gave her one of the ultrasound photos.

Once we found out the sex, we made sure to make a lot of comments each day about how this was going to be HER brother and no one else's and how he was so excited to meet her because he loves her so much. We would ask her if she was going to help feed/change/dress him and she'd get really excited about that.

We also bought her a play nursery set - baby, diaper bag, bottle, pack and play, car seat, stroller etc... so that she can do everything mommy does (and she does! she takes care of her babies now the same way she sees me with her brother).

One thing we've done that I think has really helped avoid the sibling rivalry/jealousy issue (we have no problems there!) is that whenever she wants to help, we let her no matter how inconvenient it is. She helps hold his bottle when he's eating, or pats his head a few times / covers him with a blanket when he's nursing, we'll give her a wipe to help clean him during diaper changes (after we've already cleaned him up) and then let her fasten the tabs, she helps turn on/off my breast pump and i'll let her carry one of the bottles to the kitchen with me, she'll run and get diapers for me and throw them away when they're dirty, etc.

I also don't tell her that I "can't" do something for/with her because i'm doing something with the baby. i don't want her to make a connection that he's the cause of her not getting what she wants. so if i'm nursing and she wants a glass of water first i'll ask if daddy can get it, and if she says no (or i'm by myself) i'll ask her to go pick out a cup so that I "can" give her some water as soon as the baby finishes nursing.

hope that helps! Good luck!

My two boys are 18 months apart and I used the Moby Wrap to carry around my little one. He spent many hours in it until he became mobile at 10 months and wanted nothing more to do with it! When he was a newborn it was the only place he would nap and boy that sling was a blessing especially when I was already exhausted from chasing around my older son when naptime came around! If want you can check out their website at www.mobywrap.com.

Also, if you live in the lorain county area of ohio, you can always contact the EMH Regional Medical Center... they have awesome lactation consultants who helped my while I nursed my boys.

Good luck!

I have to be honest - although I have heard great things about slings, I tried FOUR DIFFERENT styles/brands when my son was tiny and he hated every single one. He liked to be upright in my arms, though, so I bought a Baby Bjorn (I bought mine used - check out local consignment shops before you pay $100 at Babies R Us) and my life was changed! My son LOVED being held so close to my body, and the neck brace on the Baby Bjorn protects the tiny baby that cannot hold his head up yet, and it grows with your child. I used it for shopping, for cleaning house, you name it. But even if you don't decide to get a Baby Bjorn, I would make sure you buy whatever from a place with a good return policy so that you can find what works with your baby.

Congratulations!!!
1) I do like slings, but in your situation, I'd get an ergo carrier instead. It's been tested up to 80 pounds (as if you'd carry around an 80 pound child...it just shows how strong they are). So, you can wear your toddler on your back sometimes as well and carrying the baby. It can be used as a front, hip, and back carrier. Plus, it's ergonomically designed for you and the baby so it doesn't put all their weight on their hips like crotch carriers do (Baby Bjorn, Snuggy, etc...)
2) Try to find the closest La Leche League meeting and go BEFORE you have the baby. www.llli.org has links so you can find a local chapter.
Ask the hospital for a lactation consultant as soon as the baby pops out.
There is a lot of stuff you can do in labor and during the birth that will help get nursing off to a good start, PM me if you want specifics.
3) I think just explaining that a baby is coming and why mommy is changing will help. Telling the toddler how they will be able to help (get a diaper, the wipes, etc...) give them a purpose in the whole thing.

Good Luck!!

1) Different slings worked for me at different ages. I liked the ring sling as a newborn because it worked well for nursing, and the baby was small enough to lie comfortably inside it: http://www.theslingstation.com/ringslings1.html
But with the next one, I'm thinking of trying a pocket that will work like this: http://www.slingdirectory.com/viewall-Pouches_and_Tubes.html because I sometimes had a hard time adjusting the ring.

When he started to move a lot more, but wasn't that heavy yet, I used this type of stretch wrap: http://www.carrymeaway.com/category_27/BaliBaby-Stretch-b....

But, about a year old, I switched to this, because it seemed like the baby was too heavy for the stretchy fabric and did not give me the support I wanted. I found and loved this one: http://www.theslingstation.com/freehand-mei-tai.html I loved this one. I will probably try to use it earlier. I think they even come with supports for the heads of wobbly little ones. And, I was able to use it easily on front and back.

2) My medical insurance covered visits to a lactation consultant (who was a doctor at the Children's Hospital). But, my best consultants were the La Leche League leaders in the area. I would recommend finding a LLL meeting near you if possible. http://www.llli.org/ I also had low milk supply, and this site was very helpful: http://www.lowmilksupply.org/

Congratulations, and good luck!

I agree with Beth B!
Ergo carriers are great! I also have a snugli when I'm at home doing chores. The snugli holds the baby close to your chest so you cand bend down and stuff. The ergo is super comfy for long walks and things like that, plus, you can use it for a long time. It 'grows' with your child.
Again, as Beth B said, Le leche league. Great website, also the kellymom.com is a good website.
Make sure you talk to your lactation consultant at the hospital. Make an appointment with them as soon as you are on your way to delivering your beautiful baby!

WOOOOOO! :D Grats on the new little one!! :D With my daughter (who is now 9) I used a Baby Nojo sling that I LOVED. I would take her to collage classes in it and she could sleep, nurse and look around with no problems. I still have it but I am going to be going to a fabric store to buy about 5-6ft of cloth to make my own Moby Wrap to try out this time. Honestly that is all you need, no sewing or anything, just a 5-6ft length (depending on your build) of 60in wide cloth folded in half length wise or cut in half length wise to make two. Then you just wrap it like you see in the videos of how to use a Moby Wrap. If you wish you can hem the edges but it isn't needed from what I understand.

As far as breastfeeding let me give you a HUGE thumbs up, atta girl!, /cheer for being willing to try again with such a rough start last time around. DO talk to the lactation consultant at the hospital and if you feel that they weren't enough (or any?) help contact La Leche League
http://www.llli.org/ is their home page and here is a link to their individual states links (was going to assume you were in Ohio but idk) http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html
Contact some of the women in your area that are listed on the site and they will be more then happy to help you out. Also check out Dr. Sear (his baby book was my second Bible for my duaghter lol) http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020100.asp he has a WONDERFUL breastfeeding book that you may want to check out.

I am an avid baby wearer! My girls are 2 1/2 years apart, so I needed to be able to carry the baby while tending to my older daughter. Personally, I say stay away from pocket slings like the Hot Sling. I hated mine. It's way too big for an infant and, IMO, too small for a bigger baby. I ADORE my Moby. Seriously..I LOVE LOVE it! It's confusing at first because it's SO much fabric, but one I got used to it, it was amazing. I carried my baby everywhere in it. My chiropractor also recommended it because it keeps the baby in the center of your chest instead of off to one side. It is incredibly versatile since there are a ton of different ways you can position the baby in it. I also used mine for nursing. Please let me know if you have any questions on baby wearing. I've been doing it avidly for almost 6 months now!

I'm also nursing baby #2 right now. What are your specific questions?

We told our daughter as soon as we found out I was pregnant. She was almost 2 when we found out. We just told her there was a baby in Mommy's belly. It didn't really have much of an impact on her until I HUGE. She still didn't get it until the baby actually came. The hardest for us was when she couldn't sit comfortably on my lap anymore. We had to improvise. Lots of side by side snuggles on the couch.

Congrats on the new baby!