K.
I really don't think she'll starve herself, and at 3 years old she should be eating whatever you guys eat for yourselves. With my 2 1/2 year old son I usually offer him what we're having and have one or two healthy backup alternatives for him if he REALLY doesn't like what we're having. BUT he has to try everything and eat some of it before he has the back-up (which is usually yogurt or cheese and crackers). There are some nights when he doesn't eat much, and I don't worry about it - he won't starve himself.
To reassure yourself, pick up a copy of "Touchpoints" by T. Barry Brazelton, MD and read the "Toddler Minimal Diet" he prescribes. It's shockingly minimal - here it is:
* 1 pint (16 ounces) of milk (or equivalent in dairy products; cheese, yogurt, etc.)
* 2 ounces of iron-containing protein (meat or egg) or cereals fortified with iron
* 1 ounce of orange juice or fresh fruit
* 1 multivitamin (to cover for uneaten vegetables)
THAT's IT. Now relax, stop feeding her junk food, and let her figure it out. Remember - she doesn't need a balanced diet each DAY - it will average out over the course of a week. One day it might be all fruit, the next day only oatmeal etc. But it all works itself out. Right now she is developing lifelong eating habits, so make sure you offer her good healthy choices.
Good resource at:
http://www.childhoodhealth.com/health-information/nutriti...