Need Help with Getting My Girl to Eat.

Updated on October 15, 2008
M.O. asks from Chicago, IL
9 answers

I am very worried about my almost 3 year old daughter. She does not eat. She will only eat baby oatmeal, crackers, cookies, pudding, and other junk foods. She will drink juice boxes, chocolate milk, and some water. She has never liked to eat. Now it has become a complete power struggle to get her to eat anything. She has recently started to vomit when I try to get her to eat. I do not force her and I try not to make it a huge issue. She must have very sensitive taste buds too because I can not even sneak anything nutritious into her diet. Please help me with ideas, advice, and support.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

I really don't think she'll starve herself, and at 3 years old she should be eating whatever you guys eat for yourselves. With my 2 1/2 year old son I usually offer him what we're having and have one or two healthy backup alternatives for him if he REALLY doesn't like what we're having. BUT he has to try everything and eat some of it before he has the back-up (which is usually yogurt or cheese and crackers). There are some nights when he doesn't eat much, and I don't worry about it - he won't starve himself.

To reassure yourself, pick up a copy of "Touchpoints" by T. Barry Brazelton, MD and read the "Toddler Minimal Diet" he prescribes. It's shockingly minimal - here it is:
* 1 pint (16 ounces) of milk (or equivalent in dairy products; cheese, yogurt, etc.)
* 2 ounces of iron-containing protein (meat or egg) or cereals fortified with iron
* 1 ounce of orange juice or fresh fruit
* 1 multivitamin (to cover for uneaten vegetables)

THAT's IT. Now relax, stop feeding her junk food, and let her figure it out. Remember - she doesn't need a balanced diet each DAY - it will average out over the course of a week. One day it might be all fruit, the next day only oatmeal etc. But it all works itself out. Right now she is developing lifelong eating habits, so make sure you offer her good healthy choices.

Good resource at:
http://www.childhoodhealth.com/health-information/nutriti...

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Atlanta on

It is common for kids to go through stages of eating very little as their growth slows during those periods. But, if she has not been much of an eater at all, I would definitely bring it up with your pediatrician. Some hints you may want to try (worked with my pickey eater): leave healthy finger snacks around the house that she can nibble on as she plays when she may not be as adverse to eating and try pediasure. Its not a permanent solution, but at least she will be getting some good stuff in her on her schedule until she gets out of this rut.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

M.- I have and still am going through this struggle with my daughter who is now 4. She ate good maybe until she was 6 months and then down hill from there. It has been a struggle, but I know she is healthy, and she will eat when she is hungry. Don't give her the sugary stuff. That's what I did because I figure as long as she's eating something, but I believe that fills them up too much, and makes them crave it more, and then we are just setting them up for really bad eating habits as an adult. My daughter also complained to me yesterday that her front tooth is hurting her. I hope it's not a cavity. I did the forcing of the food too because you get so angry. She also gaged and I thought she was going to vomit. Yesterday for the first time she tried rice. She took three bites and that was her dinner. I'm sure they are not going to starve to death. We just have to be patient and let this pass. Good luck

J. Perinat
Darien, IL
http://www.everlastingpromotionsinc.com

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E.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would slowly remove the junk food from her diet, 1 or 2 items at a time. She will not starve herself - assuming her refusal to eat is not a medical issue in and of itself. My daughter was hooked on chocolate milk. She still won't drink regular milk. She drinks a lot of water. We simply stopped buying it. If the junk food isn't in the house, you don't have it to offer. Another thing is to have her actually help with the preparation of meals. When my daughter (who will be 3 on the 28th) helps put things in pots and bowls and gets to mix, she then gets to eat what she "cooked" and there is a feeling of pride that goes along with that. She is also very apt to ask if she can try many of the ingredients as we prepare the food. I have to stop myself from saying, "you probably won't like that" because, unlike me, she does like eating raw broccoli off of the cutting board and licking ricotta cheese off of a spoon!

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

Your daughter eats pudding, cookies, juice, chocolate milk because IT IS AVAILABLE. If she is hungry, she will eat. Don't change everything at once, but do it relatively quickly. You don't want to set her up for poor nutritional habits later on in life. Especially juice boxes....it's a lot of calories that kids can fill up on quickly.

Switch the puddings to applesauce or pureed fruits. Pudding isn't terrible, your daughter just has a lot of sugar and carbs in her diet. Try apples with peanut butter or yogurt dip, serve water at meals...maybe a treat of Chocolate milk, in a 1/2 pint-single serve container, for Friday and Saturday dinner so it becomes a treat. Don't let a quart or gallon or chocolate milk or have nestles powder/syrup sitting in your home. Try some smoothies w/ real fruit and yogurt. Get her involved in picking out foods or creating foods. Offer variety....variety....variety... I'm a little concerned about her "starting to vomit" and I would make sure she doesn't have any food allergies (i.e. vomiting, complaints about her mouth feeling funny, itchy, bright red lips, etc....) Good luck.

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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

you could try a reward chart. Hang it near where she eats and tell her she get's a sticker for eating certain amount/type of food. If she get's x amount of stickers in a week, she get's a reward like watching a DVD with M. or dad, staying longer at the playground, etc. I've always found motivating with praise works better than getting stern in situations like these! good luck! It can be a frustrating issue!!

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G.T.

answers from Chicago on

One of my triplets is a very picky eater and just would not eat anything we put in front of her except her. I was lucky enough to get her in food therapy with a speech therapist very early on and it's helped a great deal. She's still picky but the ST and I work on ways to encourage healthy eating habits. I would call her pediatrician and see if he/she can recommend an evaluation by a nutritionist and/or food/speech therapist. There's no harm in getting the evaluation and seeing what the professionals have to say. It it truly is a battle of will power and nothing medically or developmentally wrong then the nutritionist and/or therapist may be able to work with you to find positive ways to reinforce good eating habits.

Good luck!

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N.L.

answers from Chicago on

You might want to find a speech therapist or a food group. My friend's son is very selective on eating (former reflux child), so he would go to a food play group which helped him discover more foods.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Get the junk out of the house and only have decent options for her (save a few treats for rewards). Let her get all cranky and angry that she doesn't like her choices; you're the mom and you know what nutritional choices are are best for her. Keep giving in and you lose the power struggle.

This may mean she has a meal or two where she flat out refuses to eat. She will not starve. She will learn that she needs to eat the food that is given to her or she won't eat at all. Give her a choice between two healthy foods: "Susie, do you want to eat <this> or <that>." You're giving her choices and the 'power' to choose what she wants to eat. You don't have to get angry when she doesn't eat, in fact act like it isn't a big deal. No need to get angry, emotional, or beg or plead for her to eat. She doesn't want to eat? Just end the meal and move on.

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