Need Help with Dealing with Anxiety

just relax and put it in Gods hands you are putting your health in danger worrying all the time remember that she belongs to God he just loans her to you enjoy her good luck

1. I have lived with Anxiety for over 20 years and I know what it feels like.

2. You know what it is to loose a child. You have lost two, they count even before they were born. Lots of people discount a miscarraige but it still counts in my book. It was a baby.

3. You are going to be more aware of the anguish that can happen and fear, deep down, that it will be 1000 times worse than your other babies if something happens to this child.

How do I know? My best friend several years ago had a new grandbaby just a few weeks after my first grandbaby was born. Her grand son had the same name, the same coloring, it was so fun to talk about the daily changes and other stuff. Her grandbaby dies of SIDS at 5 weeks old. It devistated me. I could barely sleep, even with others around. My new grandbaby is 3 months old and he has a developmental disability, he will be evaluated at Children's in OKC this Fall. So there is an extra worry for me.

I have a problem bonding with my grandkids until they are over 1yr. old now. I am afaid they'll die so if I don't know them very well it won't hurt so bad. Logically I know that isn't the truth but I think that's what I tell myself.

You have taken every precaution you can. Continue to pray.

Dear A.,
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I have been dealing with anxiety from a different event for many years and I'd to share with you what I have learned.
When a person experiances an event that is emotionaly traumatic sometimes our consious mind cannot process all of the emotion at once. You may have heard someone say "this is to difficult to deal with right now!" When this happens our brains store the rest of the emotion that wasn't processed. Now, these left over emotions still need to be processed or felt to make them go away. If we do not activly seek out these left over emotions in an effort to feel them, then they will "piggy back" so to speak on emotions we feel about a new situation.
When this happens we find ourselves saying things like "why am I so angery or so scared" We are often realize that the circumstances do not call for that high a level of emotional response, but don't realize that we are feeling emotion from two or more separate events.
When the emotion is fear, saddness, or anger the result of this "piggy backing" is anxiety. The only real way to make it stop the anxiety is to feel the emotion from the previous event. Drugs will postpone the brain from processing or feeling, but only for a few months after you become aware of them. Drugs cannot process those feelings thus they will not go away until you feel them. Asking your brain not to process those feelings is like asking your stomach not to digest food.
I understand that this may be difficult for you but I strongly suggest finding a counselor or therapist to guide you through talking about your previous misscarages, no matter how certian you may feel that you are passed it. You are clearly feeling fear that you will loose this child too and if you do not find a couselor then as she grows so will your concerns for her safety. Today it's SIDS, when she goes to school it may be menangits, when she gets her licences it will be the fear that she will be in a car accident. You could use the support of your church and priest as a secondary source of support in addition to a therapist. I know many women who use there religous affiliations as spirtual support.

Give yourself the happiness you deserve to have with her.

Sincerly & supportive,
L. Seben

The advice above is good. I might add that there is a product called GABA Be Calm that you can buy at the health food store. You can also take 200 to 300 mg. of Vitamin D and also 200 to 400 mg of magnesium and also Omega 3 Fatty Acid pills. They can all be purchased at the health food store. In about 3 to 4 weeks you should start noticing a difference as your brain biochemistry evens out. Anxiety is a REAL biochemical disorder and it can be helped. Also, remember that every time fear pops into your head, replace it with a good thought, a positive thought or prayer. I lost 2 babies to miscarriage and know how painful it is. And I lived in fear that they would die on me. Now, one of those grown up children is a top secret agent for the gov. I could live in fear. But, I tell myself "If something bad happens, God will help me deal with it." It is comforting to know that. God bless.

I also lost two of my children to miscarraige. I now have three surviving children. As a christian, and as a mother who has lost children, you already know that God gives and takes away. There is nothing you can do about that. What you can do is choose to praise him no matter what. It sounds like you have already made the decision to do just that. The question now is, do you want to waste the time that you do have by constantly being worried?? The Bible says that to worry is to sin, but it is a hard habit to break. Maybe you should talk to you pastor about it. There will always be something to worry about. Money, the teenage years, drunk drivers. Try not to watch the news...
As far as the party goes, it is getting to be swim season, you could hand out beach balls, or pool toys. If you wanted princess themed stuff I suggest looking on line.

I think she is going to be alright you are doing al the right things and as far as the anxiety I shop at a great store that has great vitamins for that and its alnatural and inexpensive. If you want to know more about it let me know it they have other cheap products that also may help make you home safier to help with that worry. You have to have a membrship and be signed up to shop with a discount so let me know if your interested in hearing more about it.
go to a dollar store for your princess party. they have all sorts of things. I hope she has a great time.
god bless K.
about me- I work at home and love being with my kids. Im blessed with 3 wonderful children. Im 30 yrs old and a single mom.

email me:

____@____.com

Blessings,
H.

I remember feeling this a little bit with my first son. I talked to my mom and she reminded me that he has a guardian angel. That gave me comfort. Pray to her guardian angel to watch over her.

Sounds to me like you might benefit from speaking with a therapist. In combination with medication, or on its own, therapy may help you to deal with your anxiety in a more healthy way as well as assisting you in working through it. Worry is normal, but it sounds like your worries may be so persistent as to have a negative effect on you and definitely is something that you should be concerned about. Not only did this help me to deal with our miscarriage, but also with a lot of other things that have gone unaddressed in my life. Therapy has helped me to be a better wife, mother and most importantly kinder and less critical of myself. Your anxiety surely affects not just you, but also how you interact with your husband and daughter. Do it for you, and because of the positive impact it will have on those other important relationships in your life.

Hi A.,
I know - as probably most mothers do - the anguish of 'imagining' the death of your precious gift from God. You know, Satan has no new lies. He uses this one on mothers everywhere to try and instill fear. #1 You are not alone!

#2 You must recognize this as a lie straight from the father of lies. He is only trying to steal your joy and in the process, make you doubt God's ability to keep and protect your baby girl.

Did you know that scripture tells us 365 times "Do not be afraid" or "Fear not"? Isn't that cool? One time for each day of the year! Of course there's the scripture "God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, and a sound mind. This fear is in your mind where you have the ability to CHOOSE what you believe.

Since God didn't give you this fear, you KNOW where it came from and your battle is in the spirit realm. You MUST stand against the enemy. Resist Him and he will flee! When the thought comes to your mind, say aloud "It is written that if I resist you, you will flee, so I do resist this evil lie and will NOT believe it! God is able to do all things and you can not touch my daughter without His permission. Now FLEE in the name of Jesus. I GUARANTEE your mind will be instantly empty from that thought process! : )

Then follow up with Thanks to the Father for His love and for the blessing He gave you and your husband; for keeping your daughter safe and giving you a sound mind to resist the devil! Thank Him for the peace that passes human understanding. I think you'll soon be drifting off to a deep and peaceful sleep : )

And if I may pray - - -
Father, I bring A. to your throne and ask in the name of Yeshua (Jesus in Hebrew) that you will reveal the truth of Your constant love and protection so that her fear and doubt will be vanquished. May she know that He who is "in" her is so much greater than he that is in the world. By Your Holy Spirit, bring the scriptures to her to use when she must do battle with evil and strengthen her with Your joy. I thank You, Lord and give You all the glory that is due Your Name! Thank you for the Truth and for our mighty weapons - Your Living Words - that can bring down every stronghold in our lives. We praise You and rejoice that You chose us to be Yours, Father. Amen

If need be, A., look up scriptures on fear that you can use when the devil tried to lie to you. Fear is nothing more than unbelief, because if you believe God's word, you will not fear. I used to be absolutely crippled with fear - I would spend all night in the cubby hole of a desk (where your feet go) with a pillow, blanket, my baby son and a butcher knife when my husband would be gone to the fire station. But God delivered me from fear and revealed the Truth to me. Life is SO much better trusting fully in Him.

And another thing - I had 2 boys first, then a daughter. She was VERY special to me. When she was like about 6 mo old, He asked me one time what I would do if He took her to Heaven. The question immediately overwhelmed me and brought me to tears. I had to really think before I answered, "Lord, I would thank You and Praise You for giving this wonderful child to have in my life for these few months. She has brought me so much joy." She is 33 now and has given me 4 wonderful grandsugars. My loving Father didn't take her, but He wanted to know I could trust Him in every situation. Plus parents all come to a time where they have to trust Him with their children - each one individually. He is able. Praise Him!

Be blessed. God loves you and wants you to be at peace.
Grami

Worrying is definitely part of being a mom. We have a young child and one about to go to college in the fall. I worry equally about each of them. You are doing good to recognize that your worry may be more consuming than is normal and is interferring with your regular feelings. Be strong and diligent about controling these feelings. Some people believe you can't control these emotions, but you can definitely have a strong impact on letting your emotions get out of control. You have more control over your mind than you may know. Taking a deep breath is the starter and tell yourself as loudly as needed (to yourself) STOP! Pick up immediately again with what you would have typically been doing. It is very hard to just not make yourself sick worrying about our children when we love them so very much but we must or it will negatively affect our lives and theirs as well. They learn to handle situations by watching and immitating us. If you are still overwhelmed with heavy feelings of worry, speak to another physician and other mothers for extra support.

Anxiety is a recognized disorder. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks in the past. Counseling is a wonderful thing. I have found it to be one of my best sources for dealing with the anxiety. A lot of it is just talking to someone who acknowlodges that you have a fear. It's ok to be afraid of things happening but talking with a mental health counselor or church elder can help it from taking over your life and taking away from the time you have with your child. You said you have tried medicines but they just may not have been the right ones. I have tried multiple one's myself and found Lexapro to be the only one that helped with my "disaster planning" that would keep me up all night. I basically would lay in bed thinking about what I would do if all these horrible things would happen and just cry. After about a month on the Lexapro this no longer became a problem. After about 6 months when some other things in my life had settled down and I was able to stop taking it. Just remember anxiety is caused by a chemical unbalance that can be corrected.

For the birthday party little bottles of bubbles, the small velvet coloring sheets, coloring books from the dollar store, bath crayons, sidewalk chalk, crayola fingerpaints (the ones that only work on the special paper), and for a one year old a simple little box wrapped to put it in offers quite a bit of entertainment for you!

I, too, had a miscarriage before I had my son, who's now six weeks old. When I feel overwhelmed with worry for him (or for anything else -- it seems like there's a lot to worry about once I get started), there are a few passages concerning peace from the Bible that I find especially helpful and comforting. That's not to say that physiological factors are irrelevant, or that medicinal or other treatments have no place; I just don't have any experience with that aspect of anxiety.

In John 14:27, Jesus says "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." I believe that peace is a gift from God that we both receive (as in this passage) and develop (the "fruit of the spirit" in Galatians 5:22, as well as the description of the kingdom of God being a matter of "righteousness, peace and joy" in Romans 14:17).

One of my favorite passages talks about the process of cultivating greater peace: Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Peace is a product not of having our requests answered (or even of having no requests), but rather of making our needs known to God and resting in the trust that he will meet them. This connection between trust and peace is also discussed in the Old Testament: Isaiah 26:3 says "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Trusting in God is the primary source of peace for those who follow him -- especially peace regarding things we can do nothing about.

Finally, Psalm 4:8 says "I will lie down and sleep in peace,/ for you alone, O LORD,/ make me dwell in safety." Even though the psalmist in this passage is dealing with fear for his own life, I think the passage applies as well to our loved ones -- I think we can (and must) rely on God to keep us and our children safe, because he is the only one able to do so.

I ran across this little bit of advice a couple of days ago, and as a mother and grandmother, I think this might fit your situation. It appears you have done your best.

"Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly, and leave the rest to God." BT

I did the same thing with both my boys. I would wake up on my on, instead of being woken up for a feeding, and jump out of bed thinking my baby was dead. Eventually, after the 1st birthday, I calmed down about it. Then they start walking and you have a whole new world of worries. I pray every day god will take care of my children, it easies my mind. In my case the anxiety came because death of one of my children is still in my mind absolutely the worse possible thing that could happen.