Need Help Potty Training!! - Boynton Beach,FL

We tried singing happy songs, videos, books, bribery w/ toys, candy, stickers, etc...finally on my sons 3 1/2 b-day I told him that all boys and girls who are not potty trained by their 3 1/2 b-day have to just throw out thier diapers. Thaat day we ate cake, gave him a little present and said bye bye diapers. He had a few accidents but by Monday afternoon he was going potty like a big boy. I still put him in pull ups at night. I told him they were his big boy nighttime pullups. He did so-so at night for a while but lately he is staying dry all the time.

I agree with a few of the other moms. I let my children run around bare bottom. Within a few weeks it worked great for my daughter. For my son we had to add a little to it. If he had on underpants he would have an accident. So, he went everywhere without underwear for about two or three months. It sounds crazy but it worked. Also, when we did have accidents we usually washed of in cool water. This gave an added to the unpleasantness and encouraged them not to wet there pants. Now, if we were out or it was a true accident I would make an exception, but the general rule was a cool showering.

M.,

You may have another thing going on here. The new baby. Often when a new baby is in the house a siblings reaction might be to regress to behaviors of the baby. Dr. Brazelton talks about this and calls it "Touchpoints". It might be a good book for you to read. Now for something practical. I had three boys and one thing I did to help make potty training fun was to throw a few cherrios in the potty and let them aim for them. It was great fun for them although it sounds crazy. That might take the fear out of the potty for him and help with Number 2. Also I didnt use a diaper after a while. I found that if they went in regular underwear they didnt like the feeling at all and became more aware of when they needed to go. You are right not to force him. It will only become a power struggle between the two of you. Have you also tried the video "Once Upon a Potty". This is an animated video geared towards his age that he can watch. Good luck to you.

C.

Hello Michelle:

I am still going through what you are going through with potty training. There are two things that are against us. One we just have new babies and our sons and not getting the Mommy time they are used to before baby. So potty training in their minds will give them less Mommy time. My son also goes to Occupational Therapy because he is so implosive. Now when I asked my therapist what to do she said it takes boys longer to learn. Give him some time and keep at it. My 3 ½ year old is getting it somewhat now and that took 6 months. I will admit he is better at school because they go in a group. I have been asking him to go to the bathroom with me because I have to go potty and when I go he then either uses the little one we have in our bathroom or if we are out he will use it after me. Now does he still go in his pull-up? Yes, but it is getting better. Now if I can have him stop going number 2 in the pull- up it would be great.

Good luck and Hang in there!!!!!

K.

Hi Michelle,

One thing I found that worked well for my son was good ol fashioned bribery. I lined up between 10 and 20 matchbox cars (you could use anything small and cheap that interests him) on the bathroom sink and gave him one everytime he used the potty. By the time we were through all of the cars on the sink he was practically accident free and using the potty by himself.

HE is just not ready. I read a book that said the early you try to train him the longer it takes. My son just got potty trained and he will be 4 in May. He goes to Day care so they helped also, but on the weekends we had a little game that we played. You might think this is a little strange but it worked. I would ask him if he wanted to go pee outside. So every 30 miutes I would take him outside and see if he could potty. Eventually he had so much fun that he finally recognized the urge to go and he woudl go in the potty. He never did it in public just in the backyard.
I wouldn't stress over it. He will do it when he is ready.

Hi M.,
I was in a similar boat as you a few months ago. James had turned 3 with no interest in the potty what so ever. I thought he would be in college before he was trained..lol. I got great advice from my sister. Just take away diapers/pull ups. He woke up on a monday and I said no more ( still wears them at bed time though). I put on lil boxer briefs and we had about 2-3 rough days and hasn't had an accident now since November!!! It is pretty uncomfortable for them to sit in wet underwear. I hope this helps. Worked like a charm for us!

M.,

Don't fret! This happens more often than you would think. I have 3 boys, and the youngest is 22 months. With my oldest son who is now 12 it was fairly easy. With my middle son who is now 4, not so easy. I started with the potty and I had the same problem that you had, he wanted nothing to do with it. I then started to let him running around naked for 3 or 4 weeks, he had accidents yes, but it helped. Once he figured out that he needed to go in the potty I started to put underwear on him, not diapers but boys underwear. I took him to the store and let him pick out underwear and explained to him that (what ever the characters name) Lightning McQueen did not like getting wet, it started to sink in. There were a couple of accidents, but within a couple of weeks he was completely potty trained, even at night. First week or so we had accidents, and then nothing.

Good luck. My biggest piece of advise would be to be patient. It will happen but sometimes on their terms not ours, pushing will only inhibit the process.

S.
SAHM of 3 boys, 12, 4 and 22 months.

My son was afraid at first also. I ended up getting a little plastic "kid" step stool so he could stand in front of it and then threw a few Cherios in the water and made it a game to hit them. Whem he hit them he got 3 M&M's or a handful of Cherios...his choice. But, the trick was, he actually had to pee, even if he missed I would tell him "great try!" and give him a couple M&M's, as long as he was going. He forgot that he was afraid, and sometimes made a mess at first but, he progressed very well. I used the cherios tactic on both my boys and M&M rewards on all 4 kids...it worked for all. Then, the sitting on the potty for number two just fell into place. We had children's seats that they could put in place when needed. Try not to lose patience...it adds to their tention. GOOD LUCK!!!

I had a horrible time potty training my daughter. She finally completed potty training about 3 and a half. She became potty trained all of a sudden. It was when she was ready, not when I was ready. Honestly, I would say not to worry about your son yet. Also, bribing with treats helped my daughter. At first she didn't care about the treats, but I kept a bag of M&Ms in the kitchen and she knew they were there. I think they haunted her and she finally caught on. Don't forget to praise him endlessly when he makes ANY attempt to go on the potty. Brag to everyone and tell him how proud you are of him. My daughter is almost 4 now and she still tells me every time she is pooping on the potty and she asks me if I'm proud of her. I think your son will come around, he just may not be ready yet.

Hi, I am a mother of 4 & I have learned that children will only do what feels right to them. My eldest son would take his diaper off at 10 months & wanted to go potty. My next child a girl, was potty trained at 14 months old. My twins Now age 4, well, they were hugely different. They were well into their 2's before they got comfortable with it. My twin daughter was easier, she did not like to pee her pants, so keeping her in panties was the best way for her & it worked after about 4 months. My twin son, well now he gave me a run for my money, we got him peeing completely in the potty by taking the potty chair to the pool with us, it always made him have to go pee, even this took several weeks. We actually needed to go to specialists for his pooping, he would not for the life of him go poo on the potty & would hold it for days on end. He's 4 now & has been doing the potty thing consistantly for about 6 months. If there is anything I have learned is that you can not force him, or make him ready before he's feels it. As my mother said, no one goes to kindergarten wearing a diaper & when he is ready he'll just do it. Keep trying & do not give up, but do not concerne yourself with the age thing yet or even that he's not getting it. He understands what is expected of him, he just does not like it yet.

M. - My friend swears by letting them run "nakey" from the waist down all day. She has four boys and the first three have been trained that way. The fourth is still tiny. I think she keeps the potty in the kitchen (or someplace close to the playroom). It's worked for her. My boys did the sticker chart and we had the Potty Book for Boys. That seemed to help. Good luck. I know how frustrating this can be. I have a 3 1/2 year old who hates to poopy on the potty. Granted he has developmental bowel issues to overcome. Hang in there!
D

I had a similar problem with my son where he was afraid of the potty at first. This may sound strange, but the way that I ended up getting him past it was to bring the small plastic potty out of the bathroom. He would sit on it and watch tv or he would put his stuffed animals on it and pretend like they were going potty. I guess it just familiarized him with the potty. All of a sudden one day, he just went! I think getting him to go that first time was the hardest part. After a bit, I was able to put it back in the bathroom. It didn't take long for him to get to the point of wanting to use the big potty like a big boy!
Anyway, just another idea to try! Good luck and don't worry, he'll get it eventually!

BUY the book POTTY TRAIN YOUR CHILD IN JUST ONE DAY....(AND NO YOU WON'T DO IT IN ONE DAY) By Teri Crane..it is all about having a potty party..........it has great ideas.i have a 3 1/2 year old son and still going through the process but he does not fight me to go to the potty.....i also went to barnes and nobels and bought some cute potty books to read to him while on the potty.and he actually asks for these books... its all about making it fun for them.......good luck....we all need it
S. :married mom to a 3/12 year old son

I have no personal experience with this yet, as my ds is only 1.5 - but I am soooo not looking foward to it!! My friend had a lot of trouble with her son and she said she just started letting him run around with no clothes on and let him pee in the yard (yuck!) but thats how she finally got him to start getting the concept. Im sure this is probably not good advise, but I just feel bad for ya, and I wanted to write something!

My 3 year old did the same things at 3; he's now about 3 1/2 and is mostly fully trained. He is just now getting #2 in the potty!!! I bought a lot of underwear and found some cloth pull up pants (thicker than underwear, but go on the same way) and stopped using the diapers. Also try the pull ups that make him feel the wetness or at least give you an indicator that he's wet if you don't want to keep washing undies. Just keep praising him each time he does anything. If he isn't ready, he's just not ready. My son has 2 older brothers, so it isn't like he hadn't seen another boy "going potty". It seems harder with boys and it is. Our 8 year old trained at 4 yrs and the 6 year old at 3. Our daugher (now 11) was trained before 3 and only took 2 weeks to completely be potty trained. There are some little potty books and videos (I tried the books, didn't try the videos, but they look good) so get some and good luck!