Need Book Ideas for Raising Boys

Updated on May 27, 2009
J.B. asks from Carlsbad, CA
23 answers

I am looking for a book about raising children (boys). The boys are now 8 and 4.

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone who responded to my request. I have been overwhelmed by so many caring people.
The advice and books have been incredibly helpful. So nice to know people are so willing to help each other.

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Bringing up Boys, by Dr. James Dobson
I haven't read this particular book, but have many of his others...and this one is highly recommended! Blessings on you two as you raise these little guys. How wonderful that they have you as grandparents to love on them after a horrible loss.

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear Judy,
I have three sons, all grown now. We relied on James Dobson's book called Dare to Disciple. He has another called
Bringing Up Boys now that might be helpful. It has good reviews. I am sorry to hear of the mom's death and hope that you can fill in with the mother love that boys need.
I hope this helps.
H.

1 mom found this helpful

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T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

RAISING CAIN: PROTECTING THE EMOTIONAL LIFE OF BOYS by Dan Kindlon
http://www.dankindlon.com/

THE WONDER OF BOYS by Michael Gurian
http://www.michaelgurian.com/

THE MINDS OF BOYS: SAving our boys from falling behind in School and Life by Michael Gurian & Kathy Stevens

BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY: A Guide for teachers and parents by Michael Gurian and Kathy Stevens

HOW TO TALK SO KIDS WILL LISTEN AND LISTEN SO KIDS WILL TALK
http://www.fabermazlish.com/

DISCOVER YOUR CHILD's LEARNING STYLE by Mariemma Willis MS, Victoria Kindle Hodson, MA
http://www.learningsuccessinstitute.com/

http://kidsareworthit.com/books.aspx
Barbara Coloroso is a great writer and speaker. She wrote PARENTING THROUGH CRISIS: Helping Kids in time of Loss, Grief and Change

KIDS ARE WORTH IT (about the effects of different parenting styles)

THE BULLY, The BULLIED AND THE BYSTANDER

Those are my top titles. I'm sure there are more but that's a good start for you. I have a 9 yr old son and 5 yr old daughter. It's great that you are taking the time to educate yourself on their development.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

Dear J.,

I am so sorry for your loss and for the boys' loss of their mother and hope that with each new day, you will have a little more peace and healing than the day before.

I have a few recommendations for you:

"The Wonder of Boys" and "The Good Son: Shaping the Moral Develpment of Our Boys and Young Men" ---these are both by author Michael Gurian and are excellent guides and resources.

If your local library or bookstores don't have them, I'm sure you could find them on Amazon.

If I can recall the names of others, I will send those to you also.

The boys are very fortunate to have such caring, proactive grandparents to love and raise them. I wish all of you the best.

Sincerely,

J. F.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Reno on

Hi J.!

I have two sons, 15 and 11, and here are a few books and tricks that might help.

For books, try "Parenting with Love and Logic" and the author John Rosemond. Both are very different, very no-nonsense approaches. I use the "parenting" technique not only at home but in my (high school) classroom with great success. As for Mr. Rosemond, he adovcates a very 1950s style of parenting that, I feel, is refreshingly free of the guilt trips modern parenting puts on today's parents. My husband and I have his 10 tips for raising a healthy child on the fridge and read it constantly.

As for tricks of the boy parenting trade, I've found that the number one trick is to say what you mean and mean what you say. If you're not sure of the best course, simply say you need to think about it. If pressed for an answer, the answer is no.

Chores are a good thing. Give your grandsons age-appropriate chores, show them how to do them and make them do it. No fun stuff 'til chores are done. If someone misbehaves, extra chores. In my family, we always say chores are the price you pay for being part of a loving family.

Lots of unstructured play time is great. Let your boys play outside for at least an hour a day and let their imaginations take over. My sons have played explorer, bug scientist, carpenter, Star Wars, pirates, you name it, with anything they find in our (incompletely landscaped) backyard. At one point, they discovered shovels and my backyard resembled France duirng WWI...holes everywhere!

Severely limit all electronic gadgetry and tv. No, they don't need cell phones, game boys, hand held games, Wii, playstation, Nickelodeon, etc., etc. I firmly believe that the more time my sons spend focusing on electronics, the stupider they act. Instead, have your boys (re)discover reading, board games, crayons, cooking, the outdoors. Limited time as a reward is fine; everyday for hours on end is not.

Last but not least, boys need TONS of sleep. My 11 year old still sleeps nearly 10 hours a day. Recent studies show that sleep deprivation or lack of sleep symptoms are the same as ADHD in kids. The less sleep they have, the more hyper and unfocused they become. Good nutrition helps, too.

Ok, I've got to run to school! Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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K.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dr. James Dobson, Bringing Up Boys is a great book.

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello J.,

You are their angel.

I am the director of a preschool in southern Cal. I recommend "How to Talk so Kids will Listen, and How to Listen so Kids will Talk." All of our parents read this book. It will help you create connections with your little guys that will last a lifetime.

Feel free to email me about specific questions. I am a parenting and life coach, and I would love to help you for free.

Lots of Love to you,
Linda
www.RivieraPlaySchool.com

2 moms found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Real Boys by William Pollack. I'm reading it right now and am getting some very good info. Check it out!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Raising Cain is great. You can get the book or the video.

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K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

First, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. My first child was stillborn at 38 weeks and I miss her every day. Your situation will present challenges that mine does not; but I hope you find some solace in being with your daughter's children and that you see her beauty and spirit living on through them.

I have an 8-year-old son and there are 2 books that I have found to be excellent resources. One is called "Raising Cain," by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson (both child psychologists). The other book is called "Raising Boys," by Steve Biddulph. This one may be more difficult to find because I bought it in England and could not find it here in America. But perhaps you can find it online. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Reno on

I would second The Wonder of Boys - really great. It can be hard to get through but keep at it - I couldn't understand my little guy without it.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.U.

answers from Las Vegas on

Try Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson. It even devotes a chapter to single parents and grandparents who are raising boys. I wish you the best.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Go to www.amazon.com and put in the search words "raising boys" and lots of books will come up... AND you can read the 'reviews' of them.

Lots of hugs to you... you are doing a profound thing by raising them...
May the best always be with you,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Farber

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Raising Cain is outstanding. You can get it on Amazon.

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N.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dr. James Dobson....Raising up boys is a good book and also in video. You can get it from any book store or for more helpful resources visit www.focusonthefamily.com This web site has been a great help to me.

Keep up the great work! I will be praying for you, hubby and grandchildren.

Have peace,
Nancy

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

I would recommend Bringing up Boys by Dr James Dobson. He is a Christian psychologist, if you are open to that point of view. My husband is in the process of reading it and he says it is great. I don't know if you are interested, but another great Christian book about child rearing (in general) is Shepherding a Child's Heart - I beleive the author is ___ Tripp. I haven't read it myself yet, but my husband has read it and shared the principles with me so we can use it together with our boys. It has helped me to focus on the big picture and what is really important when I have a tendency to get caught up in the day-to-day frustrations.

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H.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

Boys Will be Boys, by Meeker.
It's about using their innate "boy" spirit to form them into responsible and disciplined young men. I'm currently reading it and it's a great book!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.A.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have been raising two boys by my self, after the death of their father . I contacted the parenting project of Nevada . They offer free classes for parents from infants to teen . I found it very helpful .May I recomend two book. The first ,is called RAISING BOYS.the second is called Parenting with Love and Logic author Cline and Fay.I contact the funeral home (Palm)and they send me many booklets that where very helpful in helping the boys with their loss.

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L.T.

answers from San Diego on

"The Wonder of Boys" by Michael Gurian

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A.B.

answers from San Diego on

J., I deeply admire you and grandpa for what you are doing! You are now essential to the children's development. Your love and patience will be everything to these children. Please help Mom's image stay alive, tell them stories about her, remind them how she loved them. My heart goes to each of you for your loss. If you ever need a break, email me privately and we can talk about ways my family and I can help out a bit. Best wishes!

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