Need Advice on Weaning My 51/2 Month Old

Whenever you try and deny a child who is unwilling to wean, you are going to encounter problems. If you let him self wean when ready, or even just nurse at night until he is ready to quit, you will have a lot less heartache and a better adjusted child in the end.

Just as an aside, 5 1/2 months is really early to be weaning. You might want to look at what the research indicates before you decide to quit completely. Here's a few links that might help you.

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html

http://www.naturalchild.com/guest/norma_jane_bumgarner2.html

From the American Academy of Pediatrics - http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/feb05breastfeeding.htm

"The policy recommendations include: Exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months and support for breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child."

From the World Health Organization - http://www.who.int/child-adolescent-health/New_Publicatio...

"Breastfeeding is an unequalled way of providing ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; it is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers. As a global public health recommendation, infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health. Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond. Exclusive breastfeeding from birth is possible except for a few medical conditions, and unrestricted exclusive breastfeeding results in ample milk production."

It's always a good idea to see what the experts recommend. :)

Weaning can be very hard on both you and your child. My suggestion would be to try to pump while at work, if you can, that way your child is still getting breast milk even if you can't be with him. If you can't pump at work then I would try what some of the other moms suggested, just give him formula during the day and still nurse him at night and in the morning when you are home. If you want to wean completly this would be a good way to do so gradually. Only feed your son in the morning and at night, then slowly start taking away one feeding at a time untill you are no longer nursing him at all. If at night he will not go to sleep for you without you nursing then that feeding might be the last one you try to take away. I hope I could help! Feel free to email me if you have any queastions. I breastfeed both my daughters and would be happy to help!

J.,
I feel like people were really harsh on you about the weaning thing. I don't see that you said you wouldn't be giving him breast milk at all, and even if you don't want to give him breast milk, that is your decision and a decision that only you can make. Although breast milk is best for the baby, things don't always go as planned and you can't always pump or breast feed, not everyone understands this.
I think slowly introducing a bottle to him will be the best way to switch him. Right now his night time schedule includes getting breastfed before bed, try doing other things like putting him in bed and reading a story to him. You could put on some kind of nature sound (a water sound works great for my 13 month old twins) or music, kiss him and tell him goodnight and that you love him and then leave. If he cries, let him got for a while, otherwise he will learn that all he needs to do is cry to get you to run back in the room.
I was not able to breastfeed, I pumped but couldn't keep up with 2 babies and had to stop at 2 months. To get my boys to sleep through the night we swaddled them until they were about 8 months and to break them of that we had to let them cry it out. We have a routine now, and it works really well. If you switch his routine, it may be upsetting for him at first, but after a night or two he will adjust. We always keep a nightlight on in the nursery also. We noticed when we were coming home from vacation and it was dark in the car, they would get fussier because we always kept a night light on in their room from the time they were born (for when we had to get up for feedings). I hope something in here helps out! Please let us know what happens.

When I knew the time was coming for me to go back to work and I was going to wean my son, what worked for me was to slowly introduce bottle/formula to him. It took about 2 wks to do. Every few days, instead of nursing him, I would give him a bottle for that particular feeding. I started with his morning feeding...gave a bottle, then once he was ok with that one, the next feeding, changed to bottle and so on until he was completely off the breast and onto the bottle. It worked great for both of us because it was gradual, I didn't get engorged or swollen or anything and he was changed cold turkey. Good luck and hope this helps! S.

Hi J.!
I don't know what your work schedule is, but here's what worked for me. I started giving both my kids formula during the daytime hours I would be at work, but still breastfed them first thing in the morning, then in the evening & any night-time feedings they were still getting up for. The first week or two back at work were uncomfortable for me, I usually had to pump a little bit at some point during the day, but my body adjusted pretty quickly & I just stopped producing milk during the day. It worked out beautifully becuase by the time I got home at 6, I was ready to feed them & it was a nice way to say hello, I missed you all day! Now, this all happened a bit earlier than you because I went back to work when my son was 6 weeks old & my daughter was 8 weeks old. I breastfed both of them until they wanted to stop which was around 4 or 5 months for my son & around 6 months for my daughter (that when they both started teething & it was uncomfortable for them I think). But I don't see why the same thing wouldn't work for a baby only a few months older. Good luck!

I'm not sure I understand why you're weaning your baby. If he goes to sleep for his dad easily, then he doesn't require nursing to fall asleep. Will the babysitter be watching him in the evenings and need to put him down for the night?

I highly recommend the book babywise. I don't think it talks about weaning, but it sure talks about how to get your baby to sleep and how to get him to sleep through the night. I hope that much helps!!

I basically breastfed both of mine as long as they were interested so this wasn't really an issue for me. My daughter quit at 13 months and my son about 18. We did have a difficult weekend with my son having to not nurse because of an allergic reaction and I had ingested the food so had to avoid nursing for 48 hours. It was difficult, but he got through it and became addicted to soy milk. At that point he was really only nursing at night anyways so it wasn't too big a deal, but he did like to nurse at night.

Anyways, I don't have too much experience with it but have an alternative idea or at least an idea for a transition period. In your request it sounded like you are most concerned with quitting the bedtime feeding. It's usually recommended to take that one away last anyways. Start with eliminating middle of the day feedings or ones he is less attached to. This would free you up for during the day when you will be working (I'm assuming a traditional type work schedule) which sounds like your motovation for weaning. If both you and your son still enjoy the evening feeding and your milk supply holds up, you could continue the evening feeding for a longer time and use formula for the daytime feedings at daycare. My milk supply adjusted pretty easily to the evenings only schedule and my son was satisfied but I wasn't uncomfortable during the day.

Does/will your son take breastmilk in a bottle? If not, you might need to test out a few different bottle/nipple styles to see what he is most willing to accept. It might take some time to get him used to a new texture, but there are tons of different kinds to try. You might also need to try either you offering the bottle because he's used to you feeding him or having others feed him because with you he just wants the breast. I've heard of friends with babies that have reacted both ways.

Good Luck, H.

Please do not read the book Babywise as another person recommended or implement parent direct feeding as the book suggest. It is a terrible (and very controversial) book that is not even written by a doctor. It can lead to dehydration. Most doctors will tell you to feed your child on demand.

I would feed your child formula during the day and breastfeed in the morning and evenings.

Hi J.,
You don't necessarily have to wean just because you're going back to work. My friend went back to work when her daughter was 3 months old and she continued to pump for another 3 months. After that she gave her daughter formula ONLY while she was in day-care. When she was with her daughter she nursed. She nursed her to sleep, when she woke up & just whenever they were together. This lasted for years. My friend worked 40 plus hours a week and was able to maintain a breastfeeding relationship with her daughter for years.

Maybe you're not interested in maintaining a breastfeeding relationship. Maybe you've decided you're done with "baby" stuff because it's time for you to go back to work. Maybe that's what keeps you sane.

I think you should think about your child's needs,too. You're going to be going back to work & maybe your son will need some extra mommy-love at the end of a long day.

Breastfeeding has many long term benifits for both YOU and your child.