I have a 2005 Ford Escape, which I really, really like. I get an average of 20mpg (I drive on the highways a lot, but I'm also in traffic). I've gotten as much as 22, as low as 18.5 (when were hauling a lot of heavy stuff). We put in the synthetic oil and I think that helped a little. I've been able to fit everything we've wanted to carry.
As for your husband, mine is just over 6' (not quite 6'1") but he fits in it just fine. I am 5'10", but have very long legs and have not had a problem (in a lot of the smaller SUV's, my knees would knock the steering wheel). We also test drove the Mercury Mariner, which is the same vehicle (more fancy because it's a Mercury). We like it, too, so if you found a used one of those, you might consider it (same engine, just different trim... like the other poster mentioned, the Mazda Tribute is also the same vehicle).
I had a Saturn for 10 years before getting this, which had terrible road noise (people could even hear it over my cell phone), so I may not be the best judge, but I've found it to be quite quiet.
The handling is really nice. I chose to go with the V6 instead of the V4 (you would probably get better gas mileage with the 4 cylinder, but I wanted the extra "oomph" for passing on the tollway!). It was a little bit of a change to go from a low car to a higher-riding SUV, but I think that would be the case will all SUV's, and once I got used to it, I really like being up higher where I can see better.
I drive my daughter everyday to mom (who keeps her during the day while I work). I feel like it is a very safe vehicle. There are different blind spots that I had with my car, but with the right mirror adjustments, I've been able to mostly eliminate those. The brakes are very good. We've had several occassions where the traffic just slammed to a stop on the freeway (even in rain) and the Escape stopped on a dime and the ABS worked great.
I don't know anything about Hyundai or Kia (my husband is a car guy and Ford man - we buy American), but I've heard Ed Wallace (the "Wheels" guy on the radio) say that he is more impressed with Hyundai now than when they first came to America. I don't recall his comments about Kia.
I was looking at the CRV (against my husband's desire!), but my dad had mentioned to me that the rear compartment opens horizontal instead of vertical, which presents two issues: 1), being made in Japan, it opens to the left, so that if you are parked on the street, you have to walk to the traffic side to get in to the car and then out and around the open door... small thing, but worth noting and 2) If it's raining, it's nice to have the one that opens vertically so that rain doesn't get on the stuff in the car.
The only think I don't like about the Escape is the position and angling of the vents and the options for the a/c. My husband assures me that I'm the only one in the world for whom this would be an issue, but my Saturn separate controls for where the air came out and whether or not you were selecting a/c or vent. I used to put it on face and feet (upper and lower) even for a/c, which it's only an option for the heater in the Escape. I find this annoying. I like to have cool air blowing on my legs and feet, too. But it wasn't something I really thought about when we were looking.
That's all I can think of right now (long post as it is).
I don't know where to buy a used car, except to say that we bought our Escape at Middlekauff Ford and we almost bought a used 2004 from them (but I wanted a sunroof) and I really liked the salesman in their used car section. He was a former Marine (still in the reserves) and my husband knew him. If you want his name, send me a message and I'll ask my husband for it.
Good Luck.