Need Advice on NOT Returning to Work

When I was in the same situation, I just wrote a standard letter of resignation and gave it to my supervisor 2 weeks before I was due to go back to work. I felt like that was fair because if I were at work and quitting for whatever reason, I'd give 2 weeks notice. Most employers are understanding about it. For many women, hiring a babysitter for more than one child is cost prohibitive.

D.,

I gave my company the standard 2 weeks notice while I was on maternity leave. However, you have to be careful that your company will not penalize you in some way for not returning. For example, there was a rumor at my company that the person would have to return for one full day else some of the maternity pay would be revoked. This turned out to be untrue, but it made me worry about what I should do, knowing I would not return. For me, the 2 week notice worked well, and I felt like I kept up a good work ethic. Good luck.

D.,
Congrats on your little darlings. I agree that a 2-week notice is wise and considerate. HOWEVER, be sure that you understand the ramifications of the ways in which you might resign. It might be worth your while to have an attorney or a women's advocate group help you make sure that you receive all of the benefits you are entitled to get. Sometimes it can be very difficult to read the "fine print." Good luck from another SAHM.
Amy

This is my advice as someone who supervises people...and a mom. If you can give two weeks notice, either the last two week of your maternity leave, or else have childcare lined up so you can work two weeks when you return would be the best way to leave and have the possibility of returning later on good terms.

You may wish to go back to this company or at least get a good reference from someone there.

Good luck!

Hi D.,

If you are not planning on returning to that job ever, I would give at least a 2 week notice and be honest about it. When I had one and was pregnant with my second, I felt the same way and told my employer that I felt like my place was at home with my children and I felt blessed to have the opportinity to be home with them and not have to put them in day care. Plus, the honesty goes a long way in case you ever do decide to return to work. The company will give you a good reference because of your honesty.
I have NEVER had any regrets and now my kids are older and I have gone back to work part time.
Sometimes it was tough doing the same old, same old... but I have never second guessed that home is where I was meant to be with my kids.
Those of you moms who have to work, this is not a slam against working mothers. I know many women have to go back to work wheather they want to or not.

S. D

Your situation sounds exactly like mine. I am on maternity leave and I have about four more weeks to go and I was going back and forth about how to tell my job I can't stay. I love the job, the benefits are great but if I went back, I'd be paying for childcare only and that does not make sense to me but as most of the other women have said, I'd go back and the first day you return, give your two week notice. That way you can still receive some pay for those two weeks to recover from the cost of childcare for those two weeks. And as in my case, you never know, if they really want you to stay, maybe they can work out a part time schedule with you and that way you would not have to quit totally.

At my job there are day and evening shifts so I could do part time in the evening after my husband gets home and that way we still would not have to pay for daycare and I could keep my benefits. Let me know how that turns out. How many weeks do you have to go before you have to go back?

I think there are some pretty good suggestions that should help you address your company's specific STD / Maternity policies. I worked for one company (a rather respected one) that did what one person cited - cut off her benefits when she informed them up front that she would not be returning from her leave....and another one (currently) that was more up front with me when I took my leave..."don't worry about your benefits (8 weeks fully paid leave) because we'll pay that either way you choose." They said they were obligated to pay it to me whether I told them upfront or changed my mind right before I came back (which is what 2 out of 3 people did in my department). I look at it this way... if they made arrangements to cover your position while on leave its not that difficult to extend those arrangements if you call in resign. In many cases your salary and the salary of the person filling your job is paid through an insurance company. And in the case of a company that cuts off benefits or asks for repayment - go ahead and play by their rules. Work one day and then resign. I wouldn't worry too much about job references unless you plan to use your manager as a personal reference. There are too many privacy policies out there to use previous job references for anything more than to confirm your work dates and perhaps title. I can't wait to have a second baby and join you as a stay at home mom. Good Luck!!!

Hi,

My girls are older but when I was working for the company I did not mention it to them during my leave at all. I went back for a couple of days and then told them that I have decided to stay home.

I've been on both sides of the fence on this. I was an HR manager, and am now the mother of two. Like the other moms who have responded, I'd say to be fair and to keep your "bridges" intact, give a minimum of 2 weeks notice, either while you are on leave or after you go back.
However, check your Short Term Disability/FMLA policies. Some companies will ask you to return disability pay that you were paid on leave if you don't return to work.

D.,

Although I did return to work after my leave, after one week I knew it was not the right thing for my family. I just told my boss the truth and he was very understanding. There was a project that was my first and most important priority when I returned to work. I committed to finishing the project - which I did mostly from home and was able to bring my little guy with me when I needed to go in. I know that if/when I decide to go back to work that they will try to find a position for me or give me a great recommendation if they don't have anything at the time.
You know your company better than anyone giving advice. Honesty and timeliness are always appreciated.

Begin drafting your letter of resignation right away and submit it as soon as possible. Your company will appreciate as much notice as you can give to begin finding your replacement, especially during this time when they were already anticipating covering your work load. Just tell the truth about your reasons, they are more than valid. If you are able, make an offer to groom your replacement once hired, to maintain a good relationship and referral for a time when you may decide to return to the workforce. Congratulations on your new job choice- it will be far more fulfilling!

Hi D.,

My name is B. and I had a similar situation as you but, I took a new job after maternity leave. I would definitely give a two week notice. Wait until two weeks before you are do to go back. That is what I did. If you have insurance with your employer you will want to make sure everything from your delivery has been paid. Some insurance companies terminate your insurance once your boss turns in your resignation. Hope this helps. Good Luck.

Hi D.
Although I do not have any suggestions on the maternity leave. I just wanted to tell you that staying home with your child it the best job/investment you will ever do.
Mrs. P

I REALLy recommend you do not resign while on your leave. My friend is an HR guru and there could be severe repercussions if your company wanted to be jerks about it (for example, loophole in which they can state that you never planned to return and that your last day was really your first day of employement and therefore your health benefits ended that day as well). Do what I did (I knew I wasn't going back because we moved too far for the commute and they wouldn't opt for work at home). Go in for ONE day. Just find someone to watch your kids that day. Then resign near the end of the day. It's a pain and awkward (cause everyone will come up to you welcoming you back when you know you are leaving) but it's a good CYA (cover your ass). Good luck!

I was in a similiar situation and I wrote a resignation letter about 3 weeks before my maturnity leave was up telling them I chose to stay at home with my child. You would be surprized how many bosses understand. :) Good luck! You are making the right choice! Maybe see if you can do some part-time work just to get some alone time! :)

Personally as a HR Manager I would suggest letting them know as soon as possible (after reading the provisions of your Short term disability and FMLA policies at work to make sure you do not lose any benefits or have to pay back any monies for benefits during your leave by not returning). Your job has been without you for these weeks and either have someone else covering your work or hired a temp to do your job. Letting them know as soon as possible gives them an opportunity to start looking for someone to replace you which they will be thankful for. The longer you wait the longer they do without. Going back for two weeks after your leave then letting them know will not help the situation unless you are offering to train your replacement or help with the transition until they find someone. Hopefully being fair to your employer will make them want to be fair with you. In the end always do what is best for you, daycare can be expensive and finding someone for just a couple of weeks will be hard. Good luck and congratulations for being able to stay home.

good luck! follow your heart, being a mom is the most important and rewarding job there is, and youre right, its really not worth it to work just to pay someone else to raise your children! im with you 100%, i think your boss will be happy for you!!!!!!

Someone with whom I worked turned in her notice while on maternity leave and our employer was obligated to charge her for the 2 weeks paid parental leave that she was given under FMLA. My boss is a really nice and understanding woman who's a mom herself and she didn't want to do that, but it was out of her control. HR runs my organization's payroll and this was their policy. So definitely check on your company's policy or you may owe them money if you resign while on leave.

Good luck!

Hi D.

I agree with every one else find out from your employer to see if you will be penalized. 2 weeks should be good enough. I was working at a retail store when i had my little girl and i went about it all wrong. I went in to talk to the owner about finding a replacement and they were not even giving me any pay for maternity but they gave me 6 weeks off without pay. I found out another lady was getting maternity leave with pay and called my employer to ask why was i being singled out I was told every situation is different I was upset and argued with him but in the end they started bad mouthing my reputation. After I would work from open to close 8 mths pregnate climbing on ladders to change maniquins clothes. So find out every possibility so if you ever do want to return to work you have good references.
D.

I recently went through the same thing. It's only fair to give your employer at least 2 weeks notice. If you know now that you will not be coming back you should write up a nice resignation letter and hand deliver it to your manager.