Need Advice on Inappropriate Gift

I have to tell you, I was dealing with something similar this year, too. My MIL and SIL sent my 21-month-old son some extremely loud, flashy, and annoying toys for Christmas, and we weren't told about what they were first. We are generally opposed to these kinds of toys because a) they drive us insane, b) we prefer DS to play with toys that let him use his imagination, like blocks and matchbox cars and crayons and such, and c) going through all those batteries can't be good. On another forum I vented about this, and most of the people that responded were horrified that we actually decided to tell the truth instead of giving the toys away behind their backs. I'm a big fan of gentle honesty. If it were me, I would rather the parent tell me kindly that they really appreciated the thought and love behind the gift, but that the toy wasn't really ok with them and ask if it would be ok if they exchanged it, rather than getting "positive" feedback that wasn't honest.

I would go with Option #3. That said, my son recieved a tractor w/ trailer ride on at 2 and did awesome with it! You would just have to try it. If you are worried about safty, get him a helmet. The 2.5 miles per hour isnt fast at all, you could easily walk/run next to him. These types of toys are for pretend and kids love to imitate thier parents. They work wonders for honing gross motor skills. I also belive it would be very hurtful to your brother to exchange it or tell him the gift is inappropriate. I hope you can come to a compromise!

I read a lot of responses here, and I generally agree with the train of thought that you should keep it until it is more age appropriate and then let him have it.

When my husband and I first got married, we agreed that we would raise our kids Jewish (he's Catholic). We would do christmas and easter with his family, but all the religious stuff in our home would be Jewish. No tree for Christmas, etc. This has generally worked really well. But this holiday, my younger son was sick and we couldn't go up to Nana's for Christmas eve. I realized that the joy that Christmas brings to my daughter was more important then taking a really hard line every single time. We got a really small light up tree, told her Santa slid down our chimney, and she and her brother had a great morning. But I still don't feel like I've really given anything up; we still lit the Hanukah candles, she still knows she's Jewish, she knows that we're not hanging Christmas lights, etc.

I guess that the point of my story is that the occasional compromise in a lifetime of instilling values isn't going to "ruin" anything. Over time he'll still know what is important to you and will hopefully embrace those same values. But you might find that the joy that this gift brings him is also in a way a gift to yourself. I really don't think that there's anything better then seeing our kids happy, do you?

Happy Holidays.

Wow, this is a totally personal question, so you will just need to hear what everyone has to say and then you'll find what works for you. There are a few different aspects to it to. It seems that you object to it on a few different levels. First of all, I am always one for honesty, so if you decide to exchange it then you should tell your brother and tell him exactly what you were able to tell all of us strangers: that you feel bad because he is so excited ,but that it really does not work for your family for a few reasons, or perhaps choose the reason that would make the most sense to him. Explain as needed. Perhaps you don't have space to store something so big as well, they do take up a lot of space. But emphasize how you recognize his excitement and that you have agonized over hurting his feelings.
Having said all of that, if you are speaking about the safety part of things, then this may sooth your worries. We have a similar type vehicle that we got as a hand me down. First of all, it goes slow enough that I always run behind it bent over with my hand on the bumper. If they go in a direction that isn't a good idea, I just lift the bumper up and the rear wheel drive no longer moves the vehicle. No problem. I really can keep up with it. Also, the battery needs to be charged, and is often not fully charged, and so it does not go as fast as you might think. Certainly not with the resistance of the grass and hills. Perhaps it would go faster on flat pavement. My kids have fun with it for sure, but they really only want to use it for short periods of time, they tire of it faster than one would expect, but that may just be my kids.
Lastly, I would say that you need to think about what really is pothering you the most about it. You listed a lot of reasons, but what is the most important one to you. If that is non negotiable then you've got to tell your brother the truth.
Good luck,
K.

S.,
What harm would come of letting your son use the jeep? I understand your desire to keep your child's life as natural as possible, and it sounds like you're doing an excellent job..but could this gift be incorporated into his play somehow? You could use it to teach cause and effect, kids usually role play using cars and pretend they're mommy or daddy driving, you could use it as a reward for toilet training, etc..
Being in VT, you probably wouldn't be using it until the spring anyway, so you have some time to think about it. And how great would your brother feel getting a picture of his nephew in the cool jeep??! Maybe they can exchange pictures (your son in the jeep, and your brother on his motorcyles, etc..) as a way of getting to know each other from a distance. Just an idea...good luck to you!!

Merry Christmas S.! I read about your issue and totally understand. I would go with option #3 for a few reasons. 1) your brother obviously choose this gift with love and excitement for your child 2) there is no offense in telling him that your son is still too young and or small for this and you plan to wait a bit before using it and 3) you never know, by the time you are "ready" to use it, he might be too big for it and you can donate it to a charity and have your son be part of that act. Then you are teaching him it is better to give than to receive : ) Just some thoughts. Happy and Healthy New Year to you and yours!

M. S.

I would recommend keeping it until the summer and see how your son does. My son got a similar toy for his 2nd birthday from some well intentioned aunts and uncles this summer. Surprisingly, my son does really well on it and loves it immensely...think of it this way, at least it is a toy he can enjoy outside!

I'd say keep the gift and give it to your son next year. I understand your natural tendencies and it is wonderful, but since your brother lives so far away and would like to be a part of your sons life, let him be the crazy uncle. Your son will love him even more for his different approach to things. We all need someone in our lives that lets us go a bit beyond our limits.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I too, have the same ideals about appropriate and inappropriate toys, safe (renewable) materials, no TV, etc.

Here's the rub though: our children are part of a community. Your brother is a loving member of his family, and your child may grow to hold the ideals of several different people. In the end, we have to share the joy of our children with others, and let them express it in their own way--even if it is a mini-SUV! It is a generous and beautiful gesture, even if it is not line with what you yourselves would have provided for your son.

We bought my son all wooden toys, lead free, etc., this Christmas. Everyone else: plastic toys with music, flashing lights, and all. We loved it. My son loved it too: a little variety.

Safety is another issue entirely. I would save the toy for a few years, and break it out when he is four and can be supervised by an adult.

To answer your question, I'd go with #3. Or take the advice of Liz (below) - leave the batteries out and let him use it to sit in and 'pretend'.

As a general comment - "He won't be able to understand the subtlety of wanting a natural childhood" ... so does that mean that because I allow my children to enjoy the wonders of modern technology that they are somehow having an "unnatural childhood". Batteries and plastic don't shape your childhood, memories and love do. (IMHO)

Can people give advise without calling other "jerks" ????
That was a very out of line answer to a valid question.
Pleaase don't use this site if you can't disagree without being mean. I see (Heidi) in your profile, you are "honest", which isn't the same as rude.

I like the no battery idea until he's a bit older.
S.

If you're ok with the idea, just don't charge the battery & let your son pretend drive it. When he's older & it's more age appropriate, charge the battery & it will be like a brand new toy.

My advice is to keep the gift and put it away until your son is older or to share with friends and neighbors who would enjoy it. If your brother asks, I would tell him you're a bit nervous since the age-range begins at 3-years-old and you do not have the proper safety equipment (helmet, pads, etc.). Or take a picture of your son sitting in the jeep and send it to your brother to keep the peace and then keep it for later for your son's special occasions, like birthday parties or play dates a few years from now. I, too, agree that these type of toys are a bit much--especially for 2-year-old. I think it's great that you have a brother so excited for his nephew. Count your blessings! But next time, be honest with him from the get-go.

I agree with Demma except he can probably safely use it this summer. My 20 month old drives a mini battery powered atv inside at his grandparents house and does just fine. They don't go fast enough to allow them to get away from you. Your son is more likely to have more severe injuries from sledding than he will from riding around on this little jeep.

Since your brother's intentions appear to be good and he just doesn't seem to understand about kids, I would accept the gift and put it away until your son is old enough to listen to you about safety,etc. Your brother is so excited about giving the gift and you don't want to take away from that. Simply explain to your brother that for right now, given the terrain where you live, you son is not old enough to maintain control of the toy on his own. You could soften it a little with a teasing comment like "unless of course you want to come for a visit and supervise him." Good Luck!

Think I like option #2 and #3 the best.
You could talk to your brother, praise him for his generosity and thoughtfulness.
Explain you are concerned for the boy's wellbeing in reference to #1 it being inappropriate for his age and lack of storage until he grows into it..which would ( in my opinion take two to three years)..and #2 the fact that it would not be safe for him to ride it in your yard the way the yard is configured. Could he ride it around the outside of the house without taking off across the hilly yard?
I do not think you are being overly protective here...watch AFV and see how many youngsters...older than your child, crash those motorized toys and run into siblings and parents too. Of course, AFV does not show any clips where anyone is hurt but they are scarey just the same.
I did have motorized vehicles for some of my boys ( I have five) and a HUGE house, they rode them from the living room out to and around the kitchen counter ( kitchen is 26 X 30) We live rurally and had ample level yard to ride in but I thought they were a bit risky to turn loose in the yard with.
Now, having told your brother what a completely awesome uncle he is, and isn't your child blessed to have such an uncle, would he be terribly distressed if you got the child presents more acceptable to your ( and child's) lifestyle?
Most uncle's ( its been my experience) buy youngsters toys and such they wish they had when they were little, and things they think they would buy for their own sons if they had them.
It may never have occurred to your brother that such a gift would not be received with utter delight.
Either you would be treading on thin ice here, or he may be a bit mortified. Dont want to hurt his feelings.
Too much.
Or say anything that would damage the relationship with the child ( or you )
I have a three year old grandson and he has two uncles that dote on him as the son they do not have. That being said, they are well aware of the limits as to what gifts to give and do so with great imagination.
I think, if your brother seems greatly distressed, I would pack it away until the child is at least five or six and has a helmet to wear. I do not see it as a great detriment to your values and I am sure he would truly enjoy it without damage to those values. It is not as if he is inundated with inappropriat toys, yes?
Personally I would never allow a child of any age on anything motorized without constant supervision.
Remember, men are still little boys inside and that seems to remain an integral part of their being as adults.
These grown men here, the dad and the uncles, have a great time with my grandson's toys LOL..you should see them, bit butts up in the air , building train track set ups, or "excavating" snow and sand.
You sound like a very nice alltogether person, I am sure you will come up with a solution acceptable all around.
Would not hurt for the child to have one toy that is outside your box. There are benefits to him having such a thing. And a battery does not condemn a toy . ONE battery toy may be a good thing for him. Stretches the imagination.
It is comendable that you are trying to live "green" We mostly do too. But there is a point, a line, when it can become a bit ludicrous as well. WHen you find yourself feeling "pious" and "righteous" over your lifestyle, perhaps it is time to reevaluate a bit, yes?
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

PS I wrote my answer without reading the other answers first, I do not care to be influenced by them...so, I read them and I am influenced.
S., whatever you decide, (battery out for a year or so is , in my opinion , excellent idea.
But the really important thing here is, be honest S....scripture says it only takes a tiny lump of leaven to leaven the whole loaf. In other words, a small dishonesty here and dishonesty becomes easier next time. And bigger. Truth is always best honey. Truth is much easier to deal with than a web of lies that grow and grow.
It took me some years to , honestly, get gumption enough to always be forthright, but I do, and it is better. Sometimes you can just NOT answer if a lie seems attractive.
Shakespear said, 'Oh what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive' So very true.

I go with #3, say thanks and store it. Your son doesn't know that it actually moves, so you can take a picture of him on it and send it to you brother. His heart was in the right place. In a few years you son may love it, and if you don't want him to drive it much don't charge the battery. Also mention to your brother ahead of time what your child may want for a gift so he doesn't guess wrong. Good luck, Deb

As someone who has been on your brother's end of this (sort of) I say keep it. Don't put batteries in it or put it away until he is older, but do keep it and do tell him about it and make sure he knows who it is from. I personally would not want that toy for my child either so I understand where you are coming from, but it is a gift and the gracious thing to do is keep it and use it in ways that can go along with your philosophy.

I love to buy presents for my nieces and nephews and I try really hard to find just the right things that I think they will love and that match their parents' philosophies (all different!). I have seen with one particular family though my gifts returned, clothes I bought in the hand-me-down bins passed on to my kids with the tags still on (and yes, the clothes did fit the child when I bought them), and my presents in some cases never even given to the children or given 7 months later and the child not knowing who they were from. You have no idea how much it hurts to be the giver of those gifts. I don't want to punish the children for the mistakes of the parents though so I continue to agonize over the right choices of gifts. If you love your brother and you know that he loves your son, let him spoil him a little and just reinforce your values at other times with other things.

Okay, first I don't want to come off as rude or anything,but as far as not wanting your child to have toys with batteries is a little strange. I can appreciate the whole "natural" lifestyle, & wanting to keep your children as healthy as possible. But you will be depriving your child of fun things if he cannot use toys that are battery operated. So as far as the whole "natural" not wanting to use batteries thing I say lighten up on the kid for crying out loud. Let him have fun!
Second, I agree the ride on toy is not age appropriate. However I would accept the present with a smile on your face and thank your brother then end it there. Either keep the gift and put it away until he is old enough to use it or return it without your brother knowing & get something you feel is appropriate for age & doesn't need batteries.
Sorry if I offended you, but you did post the question to anyone and everyone. Again I want to keep my kids as healthy and "all natural" as possible but I need to not be silly about it & live life without worrying about every little thing. I want to have fun while I am alive and I want my kids to have fun and not feel like they were deprived by me when they are older. Yet I do not spoil my kids!!!

I definitely agree with removing the batteries. I know my son just loves climbing in and out of things and pretending to drive. Also, we have created a wishlist on a few store websites, this way there is no question the types of toys we are interested in for our son, even if they don't buy directly from that particular store.

I would actually put it away for a few years or exchange it for more age appropriate things. You can tell your brother you exchanged it for things your son could use right now. However I wouldn't go into the other reasons because that could offend him.

I think you should accept the gift and tell your brother that your son is too immature to drive it right now, but still give it to your son and do not put batteries in it. Kids like to sit in pretend boxes and pretend they are driving a car, so why not pretend drive in a real life looking jeep but not actually drive it around. You can keep it in the garage. Then decide in a couple of years if and when you may put batteries in it. Just tell your son that it is a model jeep for pretend. That way he can still say thank you to his proud uncle.

S.-I love the advice that most are giving regarding removing the battery or keeping the gift  until your son is old enough to learn to use it properly.  I do think that although the gift is battery operated and plastic, it doesn't negate the fact that it can still be use to promote your son's imagination and creativity.  As for the advice on your brother, I think it's best to be upfront with him.  What are you going to do next Christmas when he buys some bigger and better plastic, battery operated toy?  If you don't tell give him a heads up about what types of things you  would like (and hopefully your son likes) your son to play with, then he'll never know and will keep buying things you don't want your son to use or that your son can't use.  Remind him of what you're trying to instill in your son.  Most importantly, you should ask him to find age-appropriate toys for your son.  It doesn't seem as though he has kids of his own, so he probably just doesn't understand many safety issues with having age-appropriate toys.Merry Christmas!

My husband would disagree with me, but I would exchange it for gifts you'd rather your son have. Then I probably wouldn't mention it to your brother. If he asks, tell him your son used it until it died (so, lie - not an appealing option, but does it really hurt anyone?). If you don't like the idea of lying, then be honest with your brother and tell him you can't accept the gift. You have a right to instilling your values in your own children. He can send smaller, less intrusive gifts that you may not be crazy about, right? Because once your son sees this car and plays with it, will he be as inclined to run around outside as before? And if you're not clear with your brother about your values, what kind of gift will he give next year? A video game system? You don't have to be a jerk about explaining your values to him, just gently let him know that these are not the toys you appreciate.

I understand your complex situation. Probably the nicest thing to do is to store it and save it for a couple of years. Perhaps, depending upon the type of relationship you have with your brother, you could explain how much you appreciate his generousity, but that your son cannot use it right away and there is really no good place for him to use it and ask him if he would mind if you exchange it for something your son could use now. Often with people who don't plan on having children (as with my own brother in law) they like to cultivate in their neices and nephews things that they themselves are interested in as a way of passing that interest on. There is no problem with this as long as it is in line with how you want to raise your children. We often have to simply pass things on because we do not have the kind of relationship where explaining why we do not care to have this sort of influence on our children would go over well. Always be honest, always be kind, always be gracious and always be prudent with how much you need to say. Also, if you choose not to tell him anything at all, be prepared for having to deal with this sort of thing in the future. Not really a clear answer here but hope this helps.

If you really don't want your son to have this, then I think you should discuss it with your brother, and ask him if he would mind if you exchanged it for something else. Tell him what you would exchange it for, but don't forget to tell him that you are happy that he thought of your son for Christmas. Since he doesn't have children of his own, he probably doesn't realize what is age appropriate. I had this problem with my oldest son, since his father re-married, and his wife would try to out do everyone else at Christmas. Eventually, my son got old enough so she couldn't do that anymore, and he was none the worse for wear. Good Luck, and I hope you can resolve this amicably.

Hi S. Happy Holidays!
That was so generous of your brother to purchase such an awesome gift for your son! As one of the ladies said before, you can always use it without the batteries. If your son is like my oldest, he will love to climb in and out of it and pretend like he is driving.
I think it is very commendable that you are trying to life a all natural lifestyle. It's great to see people go the extra mile to make our earth greener. However, some toys that are battery operated influence learning. We are all different in our parenting, and I encourage all parents to use their gut instinct when making decisions. Be honest with your brother on whatever you decide. I am sure he would appreciate your honesty, even if it may hurt his pride. Do what you feel is best, and I wish you all the luck. Take care

I am a single mother of two beautiful children; Skylar 7 and Nikolas 6. They have gotten toys that have been inappropriate for their ages. For instance my daughter recieved a REAL BAKE for her birthday when she was only three. I honestly do not know why they thought she could use this even with my supervision. Any how, I kept the gift because it was bought out of love. I gave it to her on her sixth birthday party. She loves it and everyone is happy. I hope this helps out in your decision on what to do with your "little" dilemma.

K., South Thomaston, Maine

I think the storage solution won't work, because the battery will be dead in a couple of years. Those things won't last, if you don't use and recharge them.

The other stuff really depends on the kind of communication you have with your brother. I probably could not not tell him if I decided to swap it.

I think you really should talk to him about which gifts you would like for your kid. This is just the beginning!

Good luck!

H.

Hi S.,

If you have the space I think you should store it for later till your son is ready - exchanging it for stuff you would like is as if the gift is from you and not your brother, and this gif sounds typical of his personality. I completely sympathize though. I wish people would ask parents for gift ideas but they so rarely do! :-( Maybe next year you could suggest a gift card...

I'd say keep it, but he is a bit too young for it right now.. store it away and make a choice in a couple years when he's old enough to learn to control it. You can tell your brother he loves it, but can't quite figure it out yet (which isn't far from the truth), and when he's ready, you'll try again.. All natural childhood is great, but his uncle is trying to do something nice for him and if your brother's connection with him is about vehicles, why stop that? Lots of kids love vehicles and naturally gravitate to them.. it won't hurt him to have a toy or two that isn't all natural, and it will get harder to do that as he gets older. good luck

hello S.! congratulations on your desire to raise your Son on a more Natural environment. You & your husband can very well continue to do so even with this big gift. You can teach him about cars, wheels, horns & all its gadgets; you dont have to put your son to ride the car at 2.5 miles on hour! All in due time, when he's a bit older & more stable to really enjoy this special gift from his uncle. Consider that your brother did not send your son a toy gun or other more unfortunate MUST return gift. This can really turn out to be a great toy for your son to learn from. Please talk to your brother before next xmas & let him know what you'd like for his uncle to buy him, your Son might really like trains then (like my Son) remember, this is a very exciting & learning new time for your baby.
take care & good luck

Wow...I too am shocked by some of the rude comments. Sheesh, she asked for other ideas other than those she and her husband were considering. You all know the old adage.."If you can't say anything nice.." it should end with walk away from your computer and examine why you feel the need to bash someone else.

S.,
I don't believe what you are considering is off base. I liked some of the advice you recieved if you decide to keep the jeep and allow your son to use it later...especially the idea regarding use of helmet, seatbelt and using it to help out.

I understand not wanting to hurt your brother's feelings. Does he know of your take on plastic toys? Maybe you could talk to him and send him to a website that has toys more age appropriate.

Hello there,

there are some really good responses here. There are also some a little less nice. Just try to take them with a grain of salt. Try to remember it is sometimes really hard for us who dont restrict on certain things to the point you do. Doesnt make us right doesnt make you right. I have come to learn that everybody raises their children different.. There is no right and no wrong just different. In the end when they turn 18 or 21 and are out in the world. We need to be happy with ourselves how we prepared them. That is all.. Sorry to go in a different direction for a moment. Just dont let others discourage you.

Now for your question.. I would do as others have said. Let him have it to climb on with out the battery for a year. Then give him the battery in a year when you feel it is a little safer. He will love climbing on it and pretneding and it is a whole new present when you give the batterey a charge and your brother is happy too.. It is important to have a variety and to have a loving family member to spoil. Even if it is way out there sometimes. Your child will be all the more special to have a super uncle to go along with his super parents. ANNNNND HE CAN USE THE BOX FOR A PLAY HOUSE OR SOMETHING.. MY KIDS LOVED THE BOX!!!!

Another little tidbit. My nephews and kids all had power wheels at 1 and a half to 3. They were all fine. No accidents because we had rules which they had to follow. No riding with out us present and no riding with out helmets etc. You can take the battery out when you are not around. Also i have a nephew who was 4 and sledding last year with his grand mother and broke his leg.. Doesnt matter what you are doing the simplest of toys and the simplest of always watching. Hurt and risk will always be a factor. We just need to be there to pick up the pieces and love on them and show them we are there.. I wish you the best of luck.. I know it must be hard but just use your heart on everyone involved when you make your decision.. Merry christmas and a happier new year

You intentions are as good as your brother's. No one means your son anything bad. For that reason, I think your third option of keeping the gift and using it under close supervision (and collecting dust, most likely) is a far better option than risking the relationship with your distant brother, who clearly feels distant. Chances are (having 2 kids of my own), the interest in the car will be short-lived anyway. No matter how "cool" it seems, every toy has a limited life. My sister has one for her son, and it sits in her garage despite how active her 5-yr-old is (she's had it a few years).

Good luck!

Dear S.,

As someone who manages to buy a lot of gifts that others don't seem to appreciate as much as I do, my vote is on simply accepting the gift and storing it a few years. There is no insult in telling the giver the child is still too young for this Jeep thing.

I would add, lover of natural things as I am, this sounds like a great gift for a boy, when he is of age. While we all may pine for days bygone when things were simpler, the fact is that mechanical gadgets are here to stay. So it won't hurt your child to learn about them at home. Why not emphasize that aspect with your brother and let things be? He sounds like a loving heart, one shouldn't hurt such hearts when it's not needed.

God Bless,
S.

Personal opinion...he will see these things as he grows and goes to school. I don't believe one toy will harm him. I would store it and wait until he is big enough to use it (if you have the room). It will allow him to experience another side of toys. You can take it to a park and watch nature as he drives along. You can create something natural out of it. Besides, you can explain that it's one of his Uncle's favorites since he will not be able to see or be close to his Uncle. I would also explain to his Uncle that this should be a one time gift and let his gently know what is more appropriate.

You could always donate it to a children's charity for those less fortunate. Donate it in your brother's name so he can get the tax write off.

S.,

This would be the only "unnatural" gift your son will possess. I say keep it. Your son will think it is the greatest thing since he is not exposed to the other elements of those types of toys. Your brother will be happy knowing his little-known nephew is really enjoying his gift from his uncle. It is hard to be an aunt/uncle when the child is so far away. Just make sure the Jeep is age appropriate.

I think you need to mention it and be honest. If it were me and I sent a generous gift across the miles, I'd like to hear how your son enjoyed it or see a photo of him on the vehicle.

A less painful way might be to wait till it arrives, and say that after looking at the Jeep plus terrain in your yard that it would be truly difficult and a safety hazard at his age, and that you'd like to exchange it for a nice sled, etc.

I'd say give it to him. Why not!? Let him get used to it, and to it being in his surroundings.. My son was driving power wheels quads by the time he was 1. I don't see what the problem is?? BOYS WILL BE BOYS! Allow him to be one.. I think his Uncle has the right idea. Lat him be free and be a boy!! Just watch him, keep him close..and keep him safe...

S.,

What a gracious gift! But sometimes, you need to be gently honest.

It is your right to instill the values you want on your child. Not every child needs a riding car such as the one your brother has purchased.
I'd thank him profusely then explain that he is too young so you'd rather get him something he can use now.

Your brother deserves your honestly, but be sure your kid gloves are on first!

Have a good holiday!

sarah. i would not tell your brother at all. i my self dont like scooters for my 15 year and 13 year old daughter. she took a fall and broke her risk. if i where you i would go to wallmart and exange for a new toy that he might like. or i would but it away till he is older. tell your brothrt thank you very much for the gift and leave well enough alone. you dont want to hurt his feelings. it looks like he loves your sonvery much.
B. mello

Wow. Some harsh responses to your question, I'm sorry to see that here. Anyway, I am of a very similar mindset as you. I think that I would do option 3 and as others have said, take the battery out of it till he is older. He just sounds so excited about the gift that I don't think you should exchange it. Maybe in the future send him a list of suggested gifts. This is what I did and we got some great gifts from family.

It's fine for you to use your child rearing philosophy in picking out gifts for your child, but you can't make others choose what you would choose. You child needs to know that his family is thinking of him and giving him gifts that are different and provide him with a variety of experiences. You shouldn't control or limit what others do for your child unless it is really inappropriate. I wouldn't have chosen some of the toys/clothes/games that my children receive from others, whether it be from family members or a friend at a birthday party, but I am always surprised on how my child responds to it or finds a creative way to play with it. Let him enjoy it! My daughter would love a Barbie Jeep - she has sooooo much fun driving around a friend of hers Jeep. Isn't being a mini adult another way to pretend? That's what they do when they play house, doctor, teacher, etc. . .

S.,

My parents did the same thing to me when my oldest was your son's age. First, I would like to mention that the jeep's speed control is not easy to change from low to high for someone his age. My boys did not even notice where the lever was for almost a year. How we handled the jeep was to use it for special occasions until they were big enough to use it properly. We had the rule that they had to were a helmet at all times while in the jeep. They also had to were the seatbelt that is included in it. When they did use it, my father made it into an adventure where they used their imaginations. My parents also had them use the jeep to help do yard work. My boys brought in potatoes from the garden, moved small rocks and sticks out of the way of the lawn mower. I think all this was good for my boys. I hope this helps to give you a different perspective on how to deal with the jeep. I'm not that big on all the plastic toys either, but sometimes if you give them directions- they can be useful, too.