Need Advice on 10 Month Old Sleeping in Crib

I would say to keep putting her in her crib. I know it is hard but we as parents need that time of night to get well rested and we need to have that time to be alone. If I could have done it differently I would have my daughter is two and sleeps with us but now she older and is harder for her to go to her bed. We are trying to get her to sleep in her own bed.

I wonder if your daughter has the same thing my son had. He actually had a crib phobia. We didn't understand how we could never get him to go to sleep on his own in it. We'd let him cry it out, but he'd cry for 45-60 minutes, get so upset he'd vomit, and we'd have to come in and change his sheets and clothes, etc. Obviously we didn't do that much. Eventually (once he was walking) we took his mattress out of his crib and placed it in a corner on the floor in his room. We padded the sides and allowed a half side to be open so he could crawl out. Guess what? He started going to sleep on his own within a week on it! I don't know if he felt out of control in the crib or trapped, but something just wasn't right with him and it. You might want to give it a try when you think the time might be right until she's big enough to go into a bed.

I hope this helps...good luck!
A.

Personally I think it's mean to let them cry and fall over and bump their heads. Your child is crying for a reason and shouldn't be ignored. I have a 14 month old daughter who was deathly afraid of her crib after I tried leaving her in there to cry for just 20 minutes (at 10 months of age). We ditched the crib, bought her a twin mattress, and set it on the floor in her room. She sleeps beautifully now. I am still nursing her to sleep though, but at least she is out of our bed and she likes her nice roomy mattress. We just put a few pillows around the edges in case she falls out (which she has only did a few times in the beginning).

I had the same problem with my son (who is now 2). I do not recommend letting him sleep in your bed. This is a behavior that only takes one or two times to become habit and is then even harder to break. At 10 months or so, I would give my son a bottle before bed and then lay him in his crib to go to sleep. I would give him hugs and kisses and say goodnight, see you in the morning before leaving his room. I would then sit outside his room (while he cried it out to make sure he was ok). It took him anywhere from 15 minutes to 45 minutes to fall asleep. 1 week of that (or so) and then the crying ceased. When I put him in his crib, he would either fall asleep right away or lay and play in his crib for 20 minutes, then fall asleep. For a while he would waken in the middle of the night and we would go in there to see him for a while. Eventually we decided that he was waking up because he knew we'd come to his rescue. We ended up just waiting for the crying to stop, then I checked on him after he fell asleep. If something like that doesn't work, then i would recommend ditching the crib early. I didn't get rid of the crib until 2 years, and I wish I did it earlier. Hope something works for you!

L.,

She sounds like my girls...read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". You set the precedence on how long she cries. If you go to her after 10 minutes, she learns to cry for 10 minutes. If you go to her after 1/2 hour she will learn to cry for 1/2 hour. The book really helped me understand the importance of healthy sleep habits with my twin girls. By going to her after 1/2 hour you are enabling her. Yes that's right, you're doing more harm than good. Also, my kids would fall asleep the same way. Eventually, they would pass out laying down. No harm done. Good luck and happy reading.

Go with your gut. I tried the no-cry route AND the cry it out route. I've reverted to a child let route. CIO does work for a bit but I don't think it's the absolute solution for every child. Mine was stubborn too. Now, at 17 months, he sleeps for 10-11 hours straight at night and takes a nice 1.5-3 hour nap during the day!

My first suggestion is to get flannel or velour sheets. Regular cotton sheets are too cold and once I'd put my son down on them, he'd wake right up once he touched the icy bed! As far as crying in her crib, I'd try to sit with her to let her know that she'll be o.k. It's not an instant fix, but she will eventually get it, plus you won't feel like a bad mama for "abandoning" her since you'll be comforting her at her side. We decided that Dad would take care of the night-time comforting since I was still nursing. He's become a pro at it and it's easier for my son to calm down with him then to see me and smell breastmilk! HTH!
K.

We went through the same thing with our daughter. When she eventually realized that she was going to have to stay in the crib, she fell asleep in a normal position. It was only the first few nights or first week that she fell asleep sitting or half standing, etc. I would put your duaghter back in the crib asap. It isn't going to get any easier. It will probably take longer to get her to fall asleep with no crying since she won this round but BE CONSISTENT

What's magic about a crib? Try putting her on a pallet - folded blankets topped by sheet and top blanket - on the floor in her room, and in your room if that doesn't work. I raised 5 kids and 2 stepkids and never owned a crib. They all slept that way and loved it. If she gets in your bed, so what? Just make room for her. The main idea is for you all to get enough sleep, which you can easily do even with an extra person in the bed. She'll want to be alone soon enough. We have this control thing in our culture, where they all have to sleep in their own bed, but it's artificial; doesn't matter one bit!

Sara's advise is great...wish I had thought of that when I was going through this. It would have been a lot easier. My son went through the same thing, and aside from using the heating pad, I also switched to flannel or chaneille sheets for warmth, I even moved the furniture around in his room to see if there was some shadow scaring him. I let him stand and scream till he fell over from pure exhaustion. It lasted for two months and none of it worked for us. Though he would sleep anywhere else as long as he wasn't in HIS Crib. We have a Thomas the Train fold up couch which he would sleep on during nap time once in a while, and I ended up moving it into his room, baby-proofing the entire room and that is where he slept from 12 months through 16 months at which point it was time for a big boy bed. I did keep the door shut and the monitor on so I could hear what was going on in there but we never had a problem. Sometimes it takes creative parenting to give everyone in the house a little peace. Now the only problem we have is he can open the door to his room, mine and climb into my bed. This is a really hard one to break, so if you can, keep her in her crib for as long as you can.

She is getting what she wants - sleeping in your bed. I would leave her in the crib. Sitting up for a while won't hurt her. She will eventually get used to it and either she will always take 30 mins or so to go to sleep or she will go to sleep earlier. I give my 1 yr old a variety of cuddly toys and she will play with them and cuddle them and then fall asleep. Sometimes she talks to them for 30 mins, sometimes she falls straight asleep.

Is there a reason you need her to sleep in her crib? Like she doesn't let you sleep when she's in your bed? If not, for us working moms, the night time hours can give us some much needed closeness with our babies. I have a 10 month old girl as well. We put her to bed between 7:30-8:00pm with a bottle, and lay her down in her crib, which we keep in our bedroom. If she doesn't fall asleep right away, we just pick her up and coo and walk with her a bit until she does fall asleep. Some nights this can take an hour for the whole routine, but usually she's asleep by the time the bottle is empty, maybe 30 minutes. If she wakes up before 4:00 am, we give her another bottle and put her back in the crib. After 4:00am we bring her in bed with us and I nurse her laying down. She always wakes in a good mood, and the three of us share some lovely mornings playing in bed while one parent eventually gets up to shower. It's a great way to start the day and get a little more precious time with your baby.

your daughter is 10 months old, she isn't stubborn, she needs you. as far as her mind is concerned, you've abandoned her. if she sleeps in your bed, why not keep her there? or on the floor in your room?

For some reason or another she is crying for you and my advice is to give her the extra comfort. I don't think there is anything wrong with having her sleep in your bed if that means that both of you get a good night of sleep. I have seen different reward games you can do with the kids regarding them sleeping in their own bed the entire night, but at 10 mos she is still to young so just give her the comfort. Don't worry, she won't be 20 years old and still sleeping in your bed.

With my daughter, when I wanted to start teaching her to fall asleep in her crib, rather than with me holding her, I would lay her in her crib and tell her it was time to lay down. I knew at this time that she knew what the words "lay down" meant and could do it, we made it a game when she was awake. If she wouldn't lay down, I would say "Mommy has to go if you can't lay down" and I would leave the room. The first time just for a minute. Then I would go back in and ask her to lay down again and even help her lay down to make sure she understood. If she wouldn't lay down I would leave her room again, this time for 2 minutes. I never left for more than 4 minutes. She would eventually decide to lay down and then I would stay with her until she fell asleep. I still stay with her until she falls asleep at night and most nights she lays down and doesn't fuss about being put in her crib.

I don't know what your daughter understands at 10 months old though, my daughter was older than that when I started this. However, if she is sitting and watching the door, I think she will get it.

Good Luck,
D.

Hi L.,
I totally know what you're going through, my 11 month old is the same way when it comes to his naps...so he still takes them in his swing and we are planning nap training bootcamp this weekend (ugh). I talked to my ped about this exact problem (won't lay down, hits his head when he falls - my son does this for 1 1/2 hours straight) and she said just let him do it, seriously. She said most likely he is not going to hurt himself badly enough when he falls back and you just need to let it go. She also said that some kids will start banging their heads on the rail too and she tells them the same thing. So, it looks like we just have to bite the bullet and let them do it. If you find something else that works for you let me know! :) Good luck!

Follow your instincts...it sounds like you have a feeling that this "crying it out" thing isn't good for you. Have you seen the data on any of this?! It's quite frightening. ABC news just had a story on the recent studies regarding this topic. Check it out:

The Quest for Rest: Should Babies Co-Sleep or Cry It Out?
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4263379&amp;page=1 <http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4263379&amp;page=1&gt;

This is from a couple weeks ago but I found it interesting. Now when
someone tells me to let your child cry it out, I will cite this
Harvard research:
Harvard researchers Michael Commons and Patrice Miller say that when
children are left to cry for long intervals, their little brains are
flooded with a harmful hormone called cortisol.

"There's nothing wrong with having them cry it out if you want to risk
brain damage," Collins says.

They say that over time, cortisol increases the risk of severe
attachment disorders & and worse.

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So - throw out the Weisbluth (spelling?) book and try helping them to sleep (which is developmentally normal!), ie. rocking, nursing, wearing them in a sling or carrier until their asleep. AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO HAVE THE BABY IN YOUR BED!!!!! THE REST OF THE WORLD SLEEPS LIKE THIS! It's only in the U.S. that it's frowned upon by popular culture. If you're looking for more info, I highly recommend Dr. Sears' book, The Baby Book. Or just google "Attachment Parenting". Good luck!

Hi L., If having your baby in bed isn't a problem for you, then let her do that. When my babies got to about 6 months, I wanted them in their own crib. At bedtime, I try to establish a routine with soft lullabies, and talk sweetly telling them "night-night", so they learn to expect what is coming next. Then I lay them down, cover them, stroke them a moment (you don't want to hurry out too quickly, but don't remain too long either). Then, when they begin to cry, I go in after 2 minutes. I put them back laying down if they are sitting or standing, talking softly and smiling, so as not to show them by my expression that I am stressed or not relaxed. I only spend about 30 seconds in the room. Then I wait 4 minutes, and go back in again with the same steps. Next, I go in 8 minutes, and so on always doubling the time. This way, you and baby are both assured you are there for them, comfoting them. They don't feel alone and know you will be there. By doubling the time, baby eventually will comfort herself and go to sleep. This worked on all my kids. The first night might take an hour or so, but within a few days, baby will get the picture. Hope I helped!

When my kids were little, they all of a sudden wouldn't sleep in their cribs either. I finally figured it out. I was holding them, or they were all bundled up and I would put them in their crib and they would scream. I had regular crib sheets on the mattress and they were cold - baby was warm, sheet was cold and they didn't like it. I switched to flannel sheets all year long on their mattress and they went right to sleep. They felt warm and snuggly all by themselves. They love to sleep in your bed because it is all warm and cozy, not cold and empty like their crib. Re-create the environment of your bed in their crib. I even went so far as warming the sheets before laying them in the crib with a heating pad on low.

I know that this sounds very simplistic, but give it a try.

Good luck!

S.