Need Advice for Last Stage of Weaning

Cuddling and putting it off until he is very sleepy. That's what I say. He will gradually stop...
I feel for you! I know that sleepiness! There is nothing like it!
Luvs,
H.

experts say between 15-18 months is the hardest to wean but I have weaned two children betweent this age and yes though it was hard for about three nights for the same problem you are having just do it. Then afterward you may hve to rock them for a bit but as for my own kids they have grown in to loving thier own bed more and being more independant. Keep a cup of juice close for the first few nights then switch it to water eventually. that is what i did. hope it helps1

I wouldn't go cold turkey. Especially for night weaning. What a mess of problems that would make for you both!! Cold-turkey weaning is very traumatic for our little ones.

As you gradually lessen the night nursing sessions, introduce some great alternatives to help your son go back to sleep. You might want to keep them especially close in feel to nursing, especially in the beginning (holding him while singing softly or as you walk around the house, or giving something to suck on like a pacifier - he might be interested in this when nursing lessens).

Have fun with your little one!

L.

I just got through weaning my son, and I know how challenging it can be. First, follow your heart and do what's right for you. Don't feel pressured by others to wean if you are not ready. My son was 3 when he weaned, and I know some people raised their eyebrows at that. But I don't see myself as some breast nazi. Heck, my daughter weaned at 11 mos. Each child and situation are different.

There are lots of good ideas (and actually, I posed your same question many months ago, so you should be able to review those old posts.) Here is how I did it. I know your son is younger than mine was, but I think some of the ideas will help.

We were down to nursing at naptime, bedtime and nighttime. I got him to quit the naptime by offering a reward of his choice at Target. He picked out bath paint and that was that. Then for the bedtime one, I felt we had to go for a bigger reward, so we offered a (used) bicycle. It worked. As for the nighttime, I shortened the nurse time. I started with 5 min. Then I worked down weekly to 4 min, 3 min, etc. I heard other people use this, and I didn't think it would work, but it did. I think it helped that my milk supply was pretty dried up and he wasn't getting anything. Hope this helps. Please feel free to email me directly for more detail.

M.,

I am currently nursing a 2.5 year old boy who has no interest in stopping though fortunately for me he no longer wakes up at night. With his older brother and sister I began cutting their schedule of four times a day down at about 18 months, gradually having them nurse only before bed. Then eventually the oldest didn't ask to nurse for a week (at 22 months) and his sister stopped cold turkey on her 2nd birthday.

If your son is only nursing at night I'd just let it go. If YOU want him to stop then gradually reduce the number of times you allow him access. Over time he will adjust. Nursing for comfort isn't a sin, it's just comfort. I'm pretty sure why my 2.5 year old still asks to nurse. I know I am producing milk 'cause I see him swallow but he certainly doesn't need those few calories for good health.

Above all, enjoy this precious time while you have it!

K.

I can relate to this more than you know! I weaned my little bot around 16 months because my husband & I went on a trip... similar story though. He was mostly night nursing with a few day time "snacks" at the breast.
It broke my heart to just stop, but that is basically what we did.
When he woke up at night, I would do whatever I could to soothe him back to sleep including telling him that there is no more nursey... I rubbed his back, let him play with my hair... had water in a sippy cup ready to hand him if he was "thirsty".
The good news is that looking back, (my son is nearly 3 now)it doesn't seem like it was that bad. I know that living through it, though, is a different story! It took ablout a month for him to no longer wake up in the night looking for the comfort mursing. Maybe only 3 weeks...
Good luck & remember - even if you wanted this phase to last forever, it won't!
V. O.

You did not say if you were married or not or whether or not the dad is involved. If he is then get him involved in this. Let him be the one who gets up in the night with your son. He can say something like, "mommy is sleeping" and "there is no more (whatever you call the nursing)". It may take a few nights, I think in my case it was 3 or 4 nights, but it is totally worth it. If the dad is not there or willing to help, then you can say there is not more. Rock him, or do whatever you do to sooth him, but stick to your guns. My son is 6 now and he is just fine, and that full nights sleep is so under-rated when you get it. Good luck!

hey M.!
All babies are diff. but from my experience it was not hard at all. I breast fed both of my children and when it was time to stop I quit cold turkey and changed to the bottle then at a year I pulled that out and gave them sippies and the only prob i had was the youngest wanted his bottle so i did the 3 step thing with the nipples. So lucky for me it was easy and it only lasted a couple of days. all you can do is try to stick out those nights until he is calm. To me a few nights of no sleep is worth a lifetime of sleep. If you give in you will never sleep.
D.

I just stopped nursing my third child at 16 months. I had stopped his night nursing at ten months. I had to let him cry a couple of nights in order to stop the night nursing. Once that was over, I could not believe how a good night's rest felt. Yours sounds like he is on the same schedule as mine was. My neighbor suggested a book to me. (Healty Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth,M.D.) That helped me out a lot with the guilt. I completly stopped nursing all three of my children at around 15 or 16 months of age. My mother and my husband are why it worked. They put the baby to bed,normally rocked them to sleep first. If they woke up they would check on them. We have a rule of not getting them out of bed unless you feel like there is something wrong or they are hurting, fever, etc. Hope the book helps. Good luck, God bless.
Always in prayer,
N.

If you normally nurse him in your bed during the night, start rocking him instead, and do not offer him your breast. If you need to, sleep in a bra or something that will make it hard to access. I know my daughter could help herself at that age. My weaning approach was opposite of yours however. I cut out night feedings first, then worked on daytime. My daughter was 22 months before we finally succeeded. She was plenty old enough to understand the concept of "all gone" by that age so one day I just told her mommy's milk was all gone. She'd crawl up in my lap and try to assume the position and I would just remind her "all gone." Eventually she got the point. She just turned 2 and sometimes she still looks down my shirt and asks "all gone mommy?" Good luck to you, and stay strong. A full night's rest is just within reach!

He is waking in the night to eat as a habit which you already know. A baby doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night once they are a couple months old - after that it is habit formed unless they are going through a rapid growth spurt. I don't want to come across as harsh but really you just need to stop allowing him to nurse in the middle of the night if you are ready to stop getting up to do it. I applaud you for breastfeeding so long!

We have been weaning my almost 1 year old for the past months due to a low supply because of being pregnant. When he'd wake up, I'd leave the bedroom, and DH would get him out of the crib and into the bed and cuddle. I'm very against letting him cry it out. He does still wake, but now cuddles with us, and goes back to sleep. Having DH do alot of the night time parenting has been a HUGE help to us.

I would not go cold turkey. That will make everyone miserable. Do you have a local La Leche League? That might be a good place to start to get more help. Have you checked out http://www.kellymom.com/?

this may sound strange, but do you snore? my 2.5 year old use to wake up to nurse, until I kicked my husband out of the bed. My husband's snoring was so loud that it woke the baby. Now that hubby's in the dog house we all get better sleep.

We weaned our daughter gradually. She liked to nurse before bed mostly so we started by cutting out early mornings then moved on to night time. She did nurse at bed time for a long time!! She was over two before she stopped completely. We had her dad put her to bed every night for about a week and it work for the most part...she still ask to nurse every once and a while (shes almost 3)but that got her out of the habit.

Good luck.

M.,

I was in the same boat about a month ago. I was ready to stop nursing my 13 month old. For me the best advice I can give is go cold turkey. It took about three long (very long) nights to stop the nursing at night. I hate to discourage you, but it is one of those things that you have to brave through. I was still nursing right before bed (that was the only time - no more during the day or night). After those three nights (I recommend a weekend -or any time where you can have the next day off) I thought 'Wow why didn't I do this sooner?' - A great nights sleep can never be overly appreciated. Here is my suggestion to you. Stop during the day first if you haven't already. Then in about a week stop the nursing during the night cold turkey. If he becomes unruly at night, go in there soothe him, rock him, walk around with him but DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT nurse him. By you caving to nurse him only cunfuses him. Like I said brave through it and you will be rewarded!! Then in about another week, stop the before bedtime nursing. What I would recommend doing is reading him a book if you don't already do that. I had been nursing my daughter and then putting her straight in bed. But I began thinking about when and how to wean that last bedtime feeding. So I devised a plan. For about a week or so I nursed her THEN read her a book, so that she would get used to the bedtime routine of nursing, reading then in bed. So that when the time came and I didn't nurse her I just read her a book then put her to bed, there wasn't much confusion for her. I hope this helps. Let me know if you need any more advice. I have recently been there! Good luck!!! S. ____@____.com

It would be best if you would let him wean when he is ready. He knows when his brain development no longer needs the sucking, and when he no longer needs safety and confort this way. I would not try to make him conform to your timetable. The average age in the world for weaning is 5 years! Let him be a baby until he is ready for the next stage. We may be trying to make our children grow up before they are ready thus causing them emotional problems.
B. S. RN CCM

That is the same age when I started with my first. I found that starting a routine really helped. I would sit and rock her at nap time and let her drink a sippy cup of milk while I sang a song. After singing for 5 minutes I would take the cup away and giver her one of water and lay her down. After two weeks I did the same at night time. She had no problem adjusting! As for waking at night I have found both of my kids do better if I just let them cry it out. It takes mine about 3 days and by the 4th they are sleeping through the night. My first I did at 7 months and the second at 11. The first night is always the hardest on everyone, and they get better with less crying after that. It is hard to listen to them cry, but I also desperately needed sleep! Just buy a little fan and have that for white noise in his room, and yours to drown out the crying:) I hope you get some good advice that works for you, good luck!

Does he nurse to go to bed initially for the night? How does he go to sleep for naps? If he does take a bottle or nurse at these times, he needs to start learning to put himself to sleep without the help of an "aid". Until he his able to do this, he will require the same aid to help him go back to sleep after waking at night. Babies and adults wake during the night. The difference is that adults (and older children) know how to go right back to sleep without an aid. Many people are not even aware that they awaken. If he doesn't take a bottle or nurse at these times, it should be easier to help him back to sleep during the night. You will likely have to deal with some crying for a few nights. You might want to try to wait a few minutes after you hear him, then go in and pat him on the back, lie him down if he is standing and talk in a comforting voice. Tell him that is is night and not time to get up and that mommy is going back to sleep and that he should too. Leave the room and wait 10 minutes before coming back. Extend the time by 5 minutes each time that you visit and leave until he goes to sleep. This is exhausting for the short term, but worth it in the long term. The first night is the worst and often by the third they start to put themselves to sleep. If you can't handle that, another thing to try is to sit next to his bed after you speak to him and not look at him or talk to him, but give him the comfort of you being there. Each night sit further from his bed until you are no longer in there. Good Luck! Remember, this too shall pass.

I remember the sleepless nights staying up nursing all to well. Are you ready to stop nursing? My children started to wean themselves about 6 months in to it. I introduced the bottle and formula. It's easier to get milk out of a bottle. The only bad thing about stopping cold turkey, is the engorgment you will go back through. It's different than the engorgment you went through in the begining. Instead of feeling full, now they kind of burn. It feels like you dipped your chest into hot water. That sensation will last 2-3 days. Sounds like you have cut the nursing frequentcy, for your comfort, continue to do so. It sounds like your baby is using you for a pacifier. Mine did. You said he has a healthy appeitie. So he probably doesn't need you for his nutrition source. He should be getting enough calories during the day to last him through the night. He's probably not waking up hungry, just needs help going back to sleep. If you would rather he suck on something rather than you, keep trying a pacifier. I know what you said about his disapproval towards it and he will probably spit it out at first, keep trying. While nursing, unlatch and slip an age appropriate pacifier into his mouth. Trick him. Babies are born to suck. Of course you have to deal with weaning him from this later. If you limit the pacifier to just naps and bedtime, when he want's you, you shouldn't have too much of a problem. I truly hope you get results soon. If not from this, then something else. I know you are miserable and I wish you luck and happy sleeping.

Wow, you might have a hard time since he is already so old. He should be sleeping through the night no problem. The advice that has always been given to me is let them cry it out. I have 7 children and my oldest (of corse) was the hardest to get to sleep but that is because I let him sleep with us until he was 6 months old. If I were you I would keep the nursing time just before bed but do not nurse him in the middle of the night. He will learn how to put himself to sleep. If you quit all together then I think he will have a harder time at night. Goodluck!!! I pray that you find the answer that is right for you and him.

It is better for you and him to cut back a little at a time.

My son was still waking in the night to nurse for almost that long too. What was suggested to us and what worked was to let him cry it out in the bed by himself. The doctor said that he had to learn to soothe himself to sleep. It takes a few nights but it is worth it.

I would let hime cry it out a few days or give him a water bottle at night...thats what i did...