B.
I have a 6 and 7 year old, and a 4 month old.
First of all, your son will not suffer any developmental delays or have rotten teeth if he is not off the bottle and pacifier by 18 months. And I certainly would not worry about daycare staff being "appalled" that he does not hold the bottle himself. You need to make the decisions that are best for your child and your family and shrug off other's judgements.
That being said...from my own experience and just plain common sense, the earlier you get a child on a sippy cup/off a pacifier, the better (though I don't mean to make that sound like they go hand-in-hand). The strong will of your 13 month old will most likely be a force-to-be-reckoned-with by the time he is 18 months. i would tackle one issue at a time.
I would start with the sippy cup. Personally, I would still offer him his bottle...but with water in it. I would offer him his sippy at the same time (right in front of him on his tray/table) but filled with his milk. It may not happen right away, and there may be a few tantrums involved, but eventually he should come to make HIS own decision. Shrug the tantrums off (calmly!)and show him that they don't bother you. Also, take the opportunity with the bottle and the sippy to show him how to hold/feed himself. He wants his bottle, but he also wants control. He should begin to like the independent feel of holding his bottle/sippy on his own. And HOPEFULLY...he will not like the water and will begin to choose the sippy. Don't worry if he goes a couple days without his milk, because it will be a great thing if he feels HE can choose instead of thinking you are choosing for him. If he doesn't mind the water (yikes), try putting chammomile tea(or another safe variety) in his bottle....in other words, something he wouldn't like.
I did allow my kids to use the pacifier up to 2 1/2ish, but only for sleeping. The zombie walk can be brutal, so I made them cry it out. In other words, they could use it to fall asleep but I was not going to go in there every time they woke up. In hindsight, I should have had the "pacifier fairy" come earlier, but when they were old enough to understand.
So...what you may want to try is first keeping the pacifier for bedtime only/when he first falls asleep. Then, when you feel he is old enough to understand, tell him the pacifier/binky fairy sent him a note (make/decorate a note attached to a large envelope) that she needs his pacifier for a new baby who needs it. She will ask him to put it in the envelope and put it in the mailbox himself before he goes to bed that night. And her note will explain that a special gift will be left for him in return. Put a small toy in another large envelope addressed to him...decorated and sprinkled with fairy dust and left in the mailbox for him to retrieve the next morning. He may have to cry that night, and when he does...go in to explain/remind him but let him cry it out if necessary.
Good luck with whatever you choose, and remember that all maternal advice is usually easier said than done. Hang in there and never stop cuddling!