Need Advice/encouragement About Speech Problem...

If it's something you are very concerned about I would think about having her tested. However if she has been at home with you most of her little life, it may be that she just hasn't had enough experience with interacting with kids her own age. My daughter relapsed when I started staying home with her about a year ago, so I just tried to schedule some play dates. You may even want to consider preschool a couple mornings a week.

My son started out late in life as well. He didn't crawl until he was almost a year old and didn't walk until he was 16 months. It seems like some children develop later than others. My son is in an Early Child hood program through his preschool and they have done wonders for him. He's talking more now then he ever did before he started going. He's still really slow on the developmental aspect though. He tends to be a lone player himself. He gets around other kids and he just kinda freezes. I always thought it was because he wasn't raised around alot of children because I was a single mom when I started out with him.
I would contact your local school and see if you can find out where there are any placement programs for early childhood programs. There is one around here but I can't remember the name of it. It did wonders for my son and I hope you can find a good place for your daughter. My son was 3 when he entered the program and he's doubled in a year and a half what he wouldn't have without it. Take care and God bless

I would go ahead and get it checked out by the doc. Play time is a very important time to learn, and if she is doing it by herself she is missing out on some great lessons. try having a slightly older kid who can follow your directions come and play, tell them that she is shy and needs help knowing how to play and respond with other kids. good luck, and remember kids do grow and learn at different ages.

I am a mother of 3. happily married. and only 28 years old. my kids are 9,7&4.

i think that since you are the one that spends most time with her you know your daughter better than anyone else, i had a late developer also now he is 6 and doing great in school, kids will do things when they are ready just like adults, by the way i'm 25 with two kids and get the same response alot of the time when i ask for advice also just because my husband and i are high school sweethearts and got married at 18 but we've been married almost 7 yrs and have two wonderful boys now, if you personally are concerned then of course you should get your daugter tested but if you feel that maybe she just doesn't want to be pushed then let her go on her own speed, does she play well with her silibings??? if so it's probably a stranger thing which isn't all that unusal my youngest son still doesn't do well with strangers but to me that's just fine i don't really want them to be "too friendly" with strangers he also doesn't do well with other children he just met i would just go with your first gut instant you are the one that knows her best as her mom GOOD LUCK!!!

It seems like less of a speech problem and more of a social thing. I don't know if it wuold even be considered a development issue really. It sounds, like you said, as if she's shy or maybe feels awkward, not knowing what or how to say things to others and then tends to stumble over her words. Am I understanding that right? If she can speak clearly and coherently in other situations (like at home and with others) then it's probably more of just her needing some direction maybe and encouragement.

I would try to set up consistent play time with close cousins or friends. Maybe if she got used to playing around and with the same children over and over she would start to gain more confidence.

And, it never hurts to have your child tested developmentally if you are unsure. At the very least it will put minds at ease and if there is something wrong the sooner you catch it the more quickly you can address it.

My three year old is very well spoken also, but he went through a stage in August where he stuttered so badly. Sometime he still does when he is excited or nervous. I was worried about it at the time when it was really bad. I am a teacher so I talked to the speech teacher at our school and she said that between the ages of 3 and 5 a lot of kids will go through some stages of stuttering. She called it "normal nonfluency."

I would definitely have your little girl tested. You could get an eval done through first steps or a developmental pediatrician. It sounds like she possibly has some developmental and social issues.
There are some great services available these days. Don't wait. If you have her tested now and get some services/help now she may likely have fewer problems later in life.
My now 16 yr old boy had issues similar sounding to what your daughter is going through now. I wish services were available then like they are now.
I am also currently going through similar issues with my 2 yr old grand daughter. The services she is receiving have done wonders to help her social abilities and speech.
Good Luck
D.

It is not uncommon for children to parallel play for a long time and for them not to interact well with peers. Modeling appropriate conversations with peers and giving your her opportunities to interact in small group settings would be ideal. Find a play group or family members is a great idea.
Most early childhood departments will complete testing. Are you involved with Parents-as-Teachers. This is a great program. I am a teacher with degrees in special education and speech pathology and love having someone else come in with suggestions.
I am sorry others treat you like you are to young to be a parent. I believe each situation is individual. My sister is 22 and has two beautiful children and they are extremely smart and wonderful. I wish you the best of luck if you ever need an ear. ____@____.com

To begin, there is a difference between speech and language. Speech is the sounds we make. If she is pretty understandable when she talks than she probably doesn't have a speech problem. Language is the rules of language, like sentence structure, vocabulary, and social communication. It sounds like she has more of a language problem in communicating with her peers. It may be helpful to model the actual things she should say to other kids. Tell her, 'You could say...' and then fill in things like 'Let's play' or 'Hi friend' or 'That's cool'.

My advice: since she is three she is eligible for testing through your public school district. Call the school and arrange for a screening. From there they will determine if she needs further testing, based on educational standards. By the way, this is all free!! If she qualifies for therapy that will be free too.

More advice: do not call any attention to what you consider 'stuttering'. Things like 'take a breath' and 'slow down' do not help and may make it worse. The best thing to do is to give her uninterrupted time to say what she wants. It's hard but letting her talk while all others do nothing but listen is the best. There is a normal period of 'nonfluency' during the preschool years and this may be it for her. Allow the school professional to determine if it is stuttering or not.

R.

Let me first address a general stuttering issue. All kids go through that, at least every child I have ever worked with, raised, or known. Now, for the rest. As I was reading your concerns, I noticed that the only difficulty you describe is her seeming inability to relate to others. Difficulty with social interaction is not uncommon in children, but the severity of it may be. I don't know you or your child, but from the description you gave (intelligent, developed later than typical, difficulty in social situations) sounds much like a description of a child with Asperger's Syndrome. I want to stress that I am not in any way diagnosing your child. However, as a speech therapist and a mom, I suggest you look into a developmental evaluation with a team of professionals experienced in diagnosing such things. If nothing else, it would ease your mind. Also, if there is a problem, the best thing you can do is catch it early and get treatment early and agressively. Prognosis for children who receive early speech therapy is much greater than those who wait. You can go to www.asha.org to search for a qualified speech therapist near you, but you will also want a psychologist included in your team of interventionists. Best of luck to you and let me know if I can help in any way. Oh, one last thing, she is your child and you are not overreacting by getting an evaluation no matter what anyone tells you:)! Better to know and be proactive than to not know and second guess yourself every day.

Dear A.,
I know exactly how you feel. I'm also 25 and it seems no one takes me seriously either. It really bugs me too. I had sorta the same issue with my oldest daughter when she was begining to talk and starting preschool. She'd only ever been around adults that she had no problem talking with and was starting preschool, so she was shy and would just babble incoherently to kids her own age. I figured her problem was that she had so much to say, but didn't have the vocabulary for everything she was trying to tell her little friends and with the excitement of a new place and people she'd just go off. It didn't get so bad that she wasn't playing with other kids, but her teachers thought she needed speech therapy. So I didn't know any better and took her to get tested. The said she'd need six months of speech to correct whatever they deemed lacking. Well, we were in the middle of moving and she couldn't go right away, but when we got to our new state here in Missouri, I was getting her into preschool and she was having preliminary test done to make sure she was developing properly, well they said that they didn't notice any problems with her speech except for what is developmentally typical of a three year oldand this was only two months later. Since she's been in preschool her communication has blossomed fully with only a slight problem with her tongue placement when making the L sound. Paige has never been shy again since first starting. But some kids in her class still have days when they are shy like their first day. Kids are all different and respond thus, but I whole heartedly believe preschool helps immensely and even daycare part time, if it's a good one. Paige has always done things in her own time, sometimes sooner than the norm sometimes later, but she's doing really well and I feel that everyone was just pushing me to do what is text book right. Just remember your kiddos didn't come out of a test book, they came from you and their always gonna be their own individuals so let them be until it becomes a problem for your kids. Take your cues from them not your in-laws. Hope this helps, take care. ~Liz

Hey Abby :)...My name is M., and I am an "out-the-box" parent too. Contact me at ____@____.com I have a 3 yr old daughter who loves everybody, maybe those two can get together and play sometime! I live on the McConnell AFB and daycare is a little too expensive, so my daughter and 3mth old son stay at the house and I could use a new friend and so could my daughter! anyway, maybe you should talk to her pediatrician and ask could he refer you to someone...maybe she is a little shy...i gotta remember that children that age have feelings just like adults, except they don't know what to do with those feelings, and don't know how to express those type of feelings yet...they haven't been in this world long....email me and lets chat...maybe we could set up a play date or something. i'm 28 years old with two kids and get the same response that you do at times...especially from older women...but hey, that's ok...i believe you are doing the best that you can at this motherhood deal..it's not always easy no matter how old the woman is!...but remember your babies are fed, clothed, and happy and that sounds like good parenting to me!...so don't worry about those that don't take you seriously.