i just recently seperated from my ex-husband and he is not my daughter's father but played the role since she was born. my daughter loves him more than her own dad. she keeps asking where he is and why he doesn't love/want us anymore. i tell her he does love her and want her what else do i tell my 3 yr old child to put her mind and heart at ease?
well we have started talking again and he calls her every other day. she is still being way sensitive though. but in time that will wor itself out as well! thank you everyone for your great advice.
S.
Dont lie, dont sugar coat it, just tell her the truth. Children personalise EVERYTHING, she is naturaly going to feel at fault. Just simply explain that because the two of you could no longer get along does not, by any means, mean you guys feel anything less for her. She is all that matters and sometimes adults just do not feel it is best to stay together.
do you plan to let your ex see your daughter? If so, that will help. If not, you just have to be honest and tell her that even though you loved each other very much, the two of you could not be together. I seperated from my ex when my son was 5 1/2. He is now almost eight and doing great. We do have joint custody so he sees his dad half of the week. Kids are resilient- you just have to be open and honest (appropriately, for the age level of course) and maybe you could let them see each other a bit- depending on the circumstances. It will get better.
Boy have I been there. I really don't think there's much else you can do. I would suggest that if you and your ex are on speaking terms you and he talk about the possiblity of him spending some time with this little one. I know the hardest part for my boys when I split from their step-dad is that they not only lost their "dad" but also the whole extended family that they had enjoyed also. It's a big adjustment for the kids. Good luck.
If it's possible I would continue to have the two of them spend time together. He is still her dad in a psychological way. It is important that she not lose him. Hopefully yours can be an amicable separation and this can work.
