Need Advice About Tithing

God knows your heart. He knows how badly you want to tithe and do the right thing. Talk with your husband and see how he feels about tithing your income only. Honor your husband and follow his lead, even if it's not the answer you want. Proverbs 21:1 says "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, [Like] the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes." In this situation, your husband is the king. Pray for God to change his heart about tithing. If you do that, God will bless you and your family, just for being a good wife.

I completely understand your situation and frustration with it. I attend church with my 4 children, but my husband stays at home. I don't work so I don't have an income of my own to tithe. I do, however, get a household allowence to pay for food, clothing, neccessities, and anything else that I need to pay for. I tithe out of that money. My husband does not believe in tithing 10% of his income. If I came to him and said I wanted to take money away from investments and our kids college fund to tithe at church I might as well go a head a sign the divorce papers. LOL! I do find myself not being able to give back on some weeks so I would add it to another week. I do know that when I have tithed with my heart and not out of guilt, God has carried my through those weeks when I did not know if I could make the money stretch or not. I do the best that I can and I have made peace with it. God knows that I am not perfect, but do the best with what I have. I hope that you can find peace with what ever decision you make and comfort knowing that God will get you through it.

Hi K.,

I come from an other country, the tithing thing is here in the US, it doesn't exist in all countries or parts of the world, every religion is different and every country too.
I believe there is only one God for all of them....
Hope it makes you feel better!
Good luck,
Mariana Abadie
www.MyKidsFirst.com

We are baptist and I know a lot of people call us 'money hungry' but I swear God has provided WAY more for us when obeying his Word and tithing. Tithing is meant to be an action of the heart attitude. You tithe because HE deserves it. Because HE is awesome and perfect and Holy. And because you know he is all of that, you know he won't leave you high and dry and without money to pay your bills. We used to make $1400 a month. When doing the budget each month, I always got scared because tithing 10% was a lot of money. We've never, ever paid a bill late. We don't have credit card debt. We've never gone without a meal, diapers or formula. Sure, money gets tight, but we are never without. I feel that BECAUSE we tithe, my husband got a FANNNTASSSTICCCC paying job with even better insurance, we are able to comfortably afford for me to stay home with our kids, etc. I kinda feel like not tithing simply because you're scared (which I agree, it is a scary/expensive thing!) is basically telling God he's great in all these other areas but you just don't feel he's big enough to take care of his 'children'. Wouldn't you kinda feel a little...slided? Especially if you were literally PERFECT?! Again, I know it's a big, scary undertaking, but know he will always provide...and TRUST ME, girl...sometimes it's in the weirdest ways. But the money is always there and the bills are always taken care of. Good luck!!

K.-

I too have these issues. I want so much to tithe, but my husband, the supposed to be spiritual head of the household, says "it just doesn't make sense on paper". That always rips my heart out. I know God will provide but he doesn't have the faith to try it. Our pastor has gone as far as telling the congregation that if we don't believe God will provide, he, the pastor will hold our money for a while and if we happen to need it because God isn't providing, then he will give it back to us. He said he has done that for several people in the church and no one has ever come back needing it. GOD provided! I don't know why my husband can't grasp that, but I will continue to pray for his heart to be changed and dedicate my time as much as possible to the church and others. I know that God knows my heart and will not punish me for something that is out of my control. I will not go against my husbands wishes, because I know that is not being a godly wife. So, hang in there. It gets a little easier to deal with, but never completely easy. Just keep praying. God Bless!

I have, and really still am, in much the same boat. You are torn between two things that you know are God's will - supporting the church and submitting to your husband. At this point, I would follow your husband's wishes. It is not a sin to not tithe. In fact, I have seen some debate over whether "tithing" actually applies to the New Testament church. Acts says that shared what they had with each other, not that they gave 10% or even "first-fruits" as the Old Testament refers to.

I know that my husband would not allow me to "tithe" although now he does allow me to give generously. So I give what I do have - my skills and time. I am sure that if you call your children's director or pastor at church, they probably have half a million little projects going on that you could help with from home. And even more "little things" that you could help with in the office - copying, typing, or even disinfecting the nursery toys every week.

And if you can't even do those things, dedicate yourself to praying for the church and each member of the leadership on a regular basis.

Here's how I see it. Everything we have belongs to GOD. He provides us with everything. Yes, we go out and get jobs, work our behinds off, and so forth. But we owe it all to him. All he asks for is 10%, and he will give in return tenfold. I know sometimes things get rough, but here's the deal, if you give your 10% he will always make a way. Especially if you are putting all your trust in him. Believe me, it was hard to tithe there for a while when we were not making enough to make ends meet. But we decided that GOD comes first, and we needed to trust in him that he would provide. If we were being faithful to him and his word, he would in return be faithful to us. And now we are reaping what we sowed for so long. We are not exactly where we want to be financially, but through these hard times we've realized that if we remain faithful and trust in him he will take care of us no matter what. Our money is best spent helping other people...well at least 10% of it, anyway. GOD REALLY smiles down on us when we go above and beyond and give more than the 10%...whether it be giving extra money or volunteering our time, etc. And it just feels awesome to help people, too.

If you read in Malachi 3:8-12, GOD asks us to test him by tithing, and see what blessings he will bestow upon us. It's the only thing he asks us to test him on. Interesting, huh?

Our pastor just gave a sermon in November about tithing. It was not your typical "give us your money" speech that some churches give. Here's the link to our church's website
http://www.rivercentral.org/app/ There's a box on the home page where you can listen to past sermons, and the title of the message is "You Want Me To Do What?" Very awesome in that he was not pushy at all, and put it in a really tasteful way. If you have time, you should listen. :)

Have a GREAT day!
Liz.

I had the same problem with my husband so I went and talked to my bishop. He told me that since my husband is against paying tithing that it wasn't something for me to worry about since he earned the biggest share of the income. I was encouraged to pay a full tithing on what I earned though, but if I couldn't, I was not going to be excommunicated from the church. I hope that you don't let this problem come between you and your husband or you and your church. God loves you now matter how much tithing that you pay. I would be willing to bet that you aren't the only person in your church that has a problem with tithing either.

This is always such a sensitive topic even amongst members of the same church. Our pastor talked about this once last year and I really appreciated what he had to say. Don't get hung up on the number, the 10%. Look at 10% as the goal and just start with what you can. Honestly we give less than $50 a month. People might look at the house we live in and think we are cheap but we have 3 kids under age 5 and are just trying to figure out how to pay for and save for everything we need. So I look at 10% as the goal and each year we increase it as we can. Someday we will be supporting the church with 10% and other younger members will only be able to contribute $50.

It isn't about money but it is about supporting an organization that you get so much from.

I personally would just give what I could. Going to church should not be about how much money you give. Many people live paycheck to paycheck and can not give that much without putting their family in financial risks. I am sure God is not monitoring how much money each person gives to their church.

Hi K.. How are you? I don't tithe like I used to and I always felt better when I did. Maybe your husband doesn't really understand what it's for. It's for spreading the Word of God. My hubby of 28 years doesn't mind at all when I do tithe.I enoy tithing because God has Blessed me so much, that's the least I could do. Even when I did tithe and was broke I knew God would provide for me. It's called A Leap of Faith. But God will continue to love us unconditional regardless.

It's a huge jump to go from 0% to 10% when you first start attending a church. I'd start small with a certain % of your income and work up from there. If it makes you feel better, even map out when you'll increase to the next increment (each month add to it, or each quarter?) Hopefully by the time you get to 10% of your income you'll be more comfortable with it and he'll be comfortable with helping.

Good Luck,
J.

I am a single mother and I am not totally able to always give my 10% but I give what I can. I know in my heart the God of my understanding, knows I give what I can. Give what you can and be thankful for the blessing in return.

Oh I feel you! I struggled with the idea of tithing when I was younger (I was pretty cynical about the corruption of church) and then one Sunday the pastor did a sermon on it that completely changed my perspective. He talked about how we aren't tithing to people or a specific church building, but to God, and it doesn't really matter what that money is used for, and I became a devout tither, even when I didn't really have the money. Of course, God always provided, which reinforced my devotion to the importance of it. However, when my husband and I got married, he didn't want to do it. (He doesn't go to church with me.) He was also cynical and didn't want to hear about the difference in tithing to church or to God. So I suggested we give to a charity instead which he was ok with, but he also didn't agree about the amount - he didn't think "tithe" meant 10%. He said we could give to charity when we had enough money and could afford it. Which of course is the opposite of what should be done - giving of the first fruits, not the leftovers. The argument got heated, and I told him I was going to tithe whether he wanted me to or not (which I shouldn't have said), and he got offended because he thought I didn't think his opinion about our finances counted, and I felt badly and gave in and stopped tithing from our main account. I don't know how your finanaces are set up, but we have one joint checking account and we each have our own checking accounts. I work full time and that check goes into the joint account, but I also have a part time job, and that goes into my personal account. That's the money I tithe from. (Although, to be honest, I haven't been going to church since our baby girl was born. She's 5 months old and it's hard for me to take her by myself. That's a whole different post topic though!) Anyway, you might talk to him about if you each get $50 or something from your paychecks to do with as you please. It won't be the full 10% yet, but maybe you can gradually increase it. Good luck!

Kathy,

Have you asked him to show you how tithing would help your family financially? Ask him if he would let you tithe for 1 month and show him how it works.

If he believes in the Bible he should believe in tithing. Maybe show him some scriptures. Also, you might explain that we shouldn't expect Gods help with protection, health, income, anything without giving back. It's truly what's in your heart to give.

My husband and I have been on different levels on this subject for several years. I would give 10%...he would give really none "until we had everything paid off and a savings built up". I started small by asking him if we could give $20 a week. He agreed. I started babysitting another child and asked to up it to $40. Eventually he came to me and asked if we could do $60. We make good money so $60 isn't 10%....but it is better than none. If you give the money without him being supportive then that might cause problems in the future if there was ever a need that he felt wansn't being met and blamed you for tithing. I would maybe suggest that if you pay the bills you give what he agrees to and then put the difference of the 10% in a savings account. Several months from now show him that amount and tell him you paid all the bills, still had money to spend on a few extra things and didn't miss the 10%. Don't get stuck on the percentage though....give what you feel is coming from your heart (in this case his). God knows where your heart is and he won't punish you for that. Don't be too hard on your husband; they are usually supposed to be the "bread winner" and worry about being able to support the family. Ask him to pray about it and if he is consistent in his prayers he will know what is best to do. Best of luck. C.

I think that God loves you no matter what amount you tithe. I know 10% is suggested but if you can't or don't give that much I don't believe it's going to count against you either. Give what you can, slipping a few bucks into the basket every time you go. I think at this juncture it is more important that you continue praying for God to change your husband's heart so that he understands your desire to tithe more. God bless you both!

We don't tithe 10%. In fact, I don't know if we ever will. We need that 10% for retirement, and the kid's college funds. We help out our church in other ways, and occassionally give money, but I think 10% is a lot to ask, I really do. I don't feel that you should experience any guilt because you don't tithe the 10%. I think you need to be financially responsible and realisitic and if 10% is too much you need not worry about it. Give what you can.

I can only tell you my experiences.. Many years ago I grabbed hold of Malachi 3:10 where God tells us we can test him. He actually challenges us to tithe and see what he will do for us. I learned early in my adult life that we can not out give God.

I give to a lot of different ministries. Without fail my daycare business does fantastic when I am doing well in this area. If life gets busy and I get laxadaisy about it, my income will fall off. The minute I realize I haven't been giving as often or as freely I give more and god always sweeps in and out gives me right back.

It's not about your husband. It would be great if he was on the same page. But you can do what you need to and he'll learn from you. When my husband saw my business being blessed he decided to tithe too. Sometimes he falls behind for months and then something will come up that we'll know is of God. A few months ago one of our moms lost her car due to a huge repair problem. My husband figured out what he was behind in his own tithing and gave her 1000 dollars. She was blessed by it and I know that God put it on my husband to do.

I could tell many specific times where I gave to certain places when I was really broke and low and behold God came in and plucked me out of my mess almost instantly.

Suzi

i don't know what religion you are, and i don't understand why its such a big deal. we go to church whenever possible and our pastor understands that we can't give very much at all, and he just appriciates the fact that we show up for church when we can. i'm a stay at home mom and my husband is a truck driver, all of our money comes from him working, and we surely do not have 10% to give to our church, although we do give in other ways, like volunteering and being there when a member or even our pastor needs us. religion should not be about money...its about you and your beliefs, money should not be a big issue.

but thats us....you may be different.

K., if I were you I would simply give the matter to God. Tell God it is your desire to tithe, but you want to respect your husband, and most of all for your husband to respect Him. And then ask Him according to Phil 2:13 to work the desire and power to do His will into your husband's heart. Just know you don't have to tithe to be "accepted" by God. Tithing is a fruit that flows from the fact that you are God's child, made with His nature. If we believe we are like Him in nature, like our children bear our image, by nature; our personality, disposition, and actions will then mimic His, automatically. It's more about where you put your mind and heart than the action itself. This truly is a much more peaceable approach, and the results that are seen by trusting God to work in someone's heart are truly amazing!

This is one of those things you have to give to the Lord. Trust in him to change this situation. He knows what is in your heart. The Lord knows it is in your heart to give him tithes so give him tithes with your trust in him right now. I believe all the other stuff will fall in to place if you listen to the lord. Pray, ask God to deliver your husband and Pray for God to guide your husband. Believe and Trust in the Lord.

At our church our minister says the 10% is a goal for every family to hopefully reach someday but he knows in todays world that is not possible for some families. He also says that giving of your time is just as important if not more important, after all the church needs cleaned, kids need watched in child care and the office and school always need help. Recently our church needed some painting done on the inside, it would have cost the church a considerable amount of $ to have a company come do it but the parishiners came together and painted saving the congregation a lot of money. So I would not worry so much about tithing $ right and really dedicate your time, when your husband sees the rewards he will feel more comfortable tithing money.