Need Advice About a Picky Adult!

Wow. I would fix whatever you would if he weren't coming. He can either eat... or not. He needs to be a grown up.

He can go hungry again. Hopefully he wont last long. If you're feeling generous, give him a bowl of unflavored popcorn.

He's a jerk. Make what you want for everyone else. He can get a pizza on his way home if he's not going to eat there.Hopefully they'll break up soon. LOL!

I say make whatever you want and have some bread and lunchmeat (or peanut butter and jelly) on hand so he can make himself a sandwich if he doesn't want what you serve. You could also suggest he either eat before they come over or he could bring his own food and he can prepare it himself. I can understand him choosing not to eat something if he doesn't like it, but complaining about it? That's just rude!

Also, I like Melissa J's idea about the Happy Meal. It would be funny to pick up a Happy Meal ahead of time and just wait for him to complain about your food. You could, ever so politely, get the Happy Meal and set it down in front of him and tell him that you thought he might not like your food so you decided to go pick something up for him so he wouldn't go hungry like last time. Then, explain that next time he can bring his own Happy Meal if he wants something different to eat. :)

You serve what you want to serve and if a word comes out of his mouth, sweetly and kindly inform him that the nearest burger joint is right over on Main Street, and he is welcome to go get himself something.

Uh yeah, what is he, 5 years old??? If all he eats is children's food, then maybe you should suggest to your younger sister that she pick him up a happy meal on their way to your house. I would completely ignore his nonsense & cook whatever you were planning on cooking.

Wow huge red flag for the "hungry guy" Ya know??!!! What an immature and ungracious jerk. Perhaps you left out the part that your youngest sister is 12 and so is he? Hopefully! LOL.
I would not even throw a frozen pizza in the oven for him. HOW Rude! Appeasing him is enabling him. Your husband is a keeper! I vote for Kristin C.'s idea about a potluck! Especially if you want to include the guys who both sounded unhappy with the meal. Especially "Hungry Guy" HE can bring his own pizza!

I'd tell your sister what you're going to make and tell her if her boyfriend doesn't like that, have him bring a frozen pizza and you'll stick it in the oven for him.

Picky adults are so frustrating, aren't they? For heaven's sakes, if they don't want to eat something, fine. They don't have to make a big deal out of it.
My friend has a sister in law who always complains because she puts onions in her potato salad. She is the only one out of a huge family that doesn't like it. So, she started making a small batch just for her before adding the onions. It wasn't too much trouble, she just scooped some out before adding the onions in.
I had a problem with my mail box and one of my friends knows a guy that fixes things like that for rentals in town so she sent him over. It wasn't that easy to fix. He had to mix cement and get PVC pipe, etc. He paid for all of it and wouldn't take any money. He's single so I offered to have him over for dinner and he responded by telling me all the things he will NOT eat. Basically everything we love. No more than two spices of any kind on anything and he'll eat meat and potatoes, but not on the same plate.
My son and I just looked at each other.
My friend was kind of trying to "fix us up" and I told her that he was super nice, but I just didn't think things had a chance of working out. For heaven's sakes, we couldn't even eat at KFC together....they use 11 herbs and spices. :)
She was embarrassed he acted like that. Here she was trying to hook him up.

I know people get stuck in their ways, but I didn't cater to picky children, I wasn't about to start doing it for a man.
I think you should just make what you make and he can eat it or not.
It should be interesting to see what your youngest sister makes when it's her turn.

I hope you get some great ideas.

Best wishes.

I'm a picky eater but would never force anyone to change menus, complain openly about the meal or refuse to eat something. He's acting like a four-year-old. Fix what you want to fix. He'll live.

Fix what ever you want to fix for your party. If he doesn't want to eat then that is on him. If he complains, your husband should take him in the back and tell him to man up and stop being such a ... Ok I'm not even going to use that language on this forum but please. What an ungrateful guest and a lousy boyfriend. I would kick his sorry butt to the curb. You insult my family you are gone from my life like a fart in a dust storm.

Don't make two meals. Make whatever you would normally make for a family dinner. If he has issues with the food, it is his problem, not yours. Don't pay him any attention, because he's an adult and he should act like one. I would never dream of going over to someone's house for dinner and complaining about the food. That is just rude.

Is it possible that there is an adult who eats only cheese pizza or hamburgers, and that's it??? Is he planning on having a heart attack sometime soon? Because that's what he's working towards.

Maybe take turns hosting *location-wise* but make it be a potluck. That way everyone can bring what they want and no one will go hungry (due to their immature, complainy attitudes). Or have a frozen pizza ready to go which you can throw in for those silly adults who refuse to broaden their gastronomical horizons.

Don't make more than one meal! I wouldn't cater to such a big baby. I am always shocked when adults have poor manners.

Carry on as usual and if he complains, just say, "Well, thankfully you can drive through at Burger King after you leave!" Hopefully that will shut him up.

You make what YOU want to make. I would advice against wierd stuff (squid for example lol) and just make what you were originally going to make. It is outright RUDE for someone to be complaining about what was made. He doesn't like it or even try it he goes hungry. I have a girlfriend who loves to cook and have dinner parties and I am not all that excited about what she makes. I eat an apple or something on the way over so I am not starving and then I take little portions (just like your husband). If he complains I would call him out..."Bob, you don't like the food, then don't eat it...that leaves more for us!"
(When I went to Mexico to meet my husband's family we went to Puebla during their "mole" celebration. I hate mole and it does horrible things to my belly. It is also considered rude to not eat what is served to you. So, here I am, an American (the only one there) and each and every house served me a BIG serving of mole. I ate it at every house. Let me tell you, I paid the price for that for DAYS...it was awful. But, there was no way I was going to be that rude person that got talked about. Shame on your sisters boyfriend.)
L.

Thanks for the laughs, mamas. I vote for the Happy Meal.

What a bore. It amazes me that grown people act like this.
You cook what you cook, he can eat it or he doesn't. I would let him know there are cold cuts in the fridge and to help himself.

My stepmoms brother, he is 60, will only eat hamburgers and certain cold cereals. and things like anything made with potatoes he will eat canned corn, no salad. He will eat watermelon. The burgers have to be plain white bread or buns and meat. I am not kidding.

They are so used to it that when I first went to their home for Thanksgiving and they handed him his plate with the plain burger and some frozen type french fries, I thought it was a family joke.

We spent a week at the coast and he had to make his burger patty on his own. If we ate out, he ordered a plain burger. Now that I am older I am going to guess he has some sort of food aversion.. It is pretty gross, to imagine what his insides look like.

If you're hosting, the menu is your choice. If I knew one of my guests had certain dietary restrictions, vegetarian, lactose intolerant, etc. OR I just knew they had a strong dislike of a certain ingredient or type of food, I would go out of my way to plan something they could enjoy. But seriously, only cheese pizza or hamburgers? And he had the audacity to complain to your sister at her dinner? I would NOT make 2 meals or a frozen pizza for him. I would gently tell my sister what the menu is going to be and ask her to tell her boyfriend the menu, and let him decide whether or not to attend because he seemed so unhappy at the last family dinner. With any luck, your sister will talk to him and he will at least realize he was being rude. See what happens. The next time around, I maybe would make some version of cheese pizza or hamburgers just to be nice, if he is a genuinely nice guy who just had an off night.

We need to hook your sister's boyfriend up with my sons girlfriend. she is a self proclaimed vegetarian but she doesn't really eat any vegetables. So she will eat pasta and rice and cheese and eggs and thats about it. I bought her a vegetarian cookbook and asked her to go through it with me and mark some things she would like to eat and I would fix them next time she came over. She looked at it for about a minute. pushed it back across the table at me and said thats a vegan cookbook. I don't really like vegan food. sigh........ i am hoping he breaks up with her but since they have been together since his freshman year of college and he is a senior now I don't have much faith it will happen.

Sounds like you're dinner will be pot luck :)

Plan on making what you like and he can do the same. Maybe that will help him appreciate the time and effort it takes to prepare and cook.

Good luck!

Honestly, someone who is that vocal about not liking the food probably would have an issue with anything you serve. It sounds like he has some growing up to do. That is a bigger issue than being picky. You could offer for him to bring a side dish/salad/dessert when he comes to your house so there is guaranteed to be something he likes. Other than that, I would make whatever you were planning on making. If he had one or two ingredients to avoid, you could try to work around them. But if he refuses to try anything new, there isn't much you can do. Good luck!

When I was a kid, we were poor as church mice (literally on welfare as my Mother recovered from a divorce while on crutches, with 4 children and jerky EX with an even jerkier lawyer..back in the 70's when men still ruled the world..but I digress).....and we had "dinner parties" with the church singing group ladies from the immediate neighborhood. This meant several families and ALL the kids..loads of card tables...often with full place settings...sometimes paper plates, sometimes back yard BBQ's.

But us kids were exposed to all of this, and the many varied customs (nothing really ethnic or cultural, just different) at the neighbors and what was served there. We took a little of most things and followed their house rules (like my loving Godparents next door...who only served powdered milk they made and you couldn't have a drink until your food was gone..OMG!). I think it made us more adaptable and appreciative of what we had at home!

I am not sure what age this adult is, but really think those younger than me (I am early 40's or those who weren't made to do such things, are what I call the "Burger King" generation...all that "Have it your way" people!! LOL I am probably one of the pickiest eaters on the planet....but I have good manners at other peoples homes! And my hubbys motto? "I know where Burger King is" and he WILL often stop before or after a meal at a pals, so as not to hurt their feelings, but to fill himself up.

People like this irritate the heck out of me..and those who raise their kids this way too. Ugh! A pet peeve of mine. Sorry.

You can let him know ahead of time what you are having & if he doesn't like it, he can pick something up on the way or bring something from home. Or you can make the main course & have everyone bring a side & they can bring something that they like.

I'd let him/her know what I'm serving and if he wants to bring something else--so be it! That is just rude.

I would say you just make one dinner. You should talk to your sister about what you observed and let her know that you won't allow any complaining at your table. Let her know that he will be told to please leave the room until you are all done if he complains. That way she will be able to talk to him about being more polite in the future. I wonder why she didn't take him to the side and talk to him about it when it happened. Anyhow, the only way you can really do anything is to say something to your sister in hopes that she talks to him about it.

D. P.

You do what you were going to do. You don't have to make special acomodations for him because he is picky.
M

Because this is your sister's boyfriend, personally I would go the extra mile. If their relationship is not meant to be, I wouldn't want to give her any reason to blame you.

Just plan the menu you want and let her know what it is. Tell her you really want him to feel comfortable at your house and if there is something he would like to bring, he is certainly welcome. If she gives you a suggestion, consider adding it to your menu. While you might be thinking, ug, I don't want to get into the habbit of making a special dish just for him, recognize that you won't be doing that every time. You might consider doing it the first couple of times, just to make him feel comfortable. After he's at your house a few times, you'll have an idea of a few little things you can do with the menu that he'll like. Also, he'll learn to realize that you do want him to feel confortable and if it really bothers him that much, he can bring something himself.

Just try not to make too much drama about any of it. The less drama, the happier you'll all be.

I'm a picky eater myself, and I try to do just what your husband did. Take a little bit of everything to be polite, and remember that drive throughs exist for a reason!

Wow sounds like your sister's boyfriend is related to my sister in law's boyfriend...lol If it was an allergie they I would say try to accomodate but if it's just that he is picky then I say to bad.. he is an adult it won't hurt him to try new things or don't come.. I refuse to make seperate meals for my kids so I definately not gonna do it for a grown adult & who wants to eat the same thing over & over just for him... I would tell your sister how you feel & tell her this is the meal I have planned so he know's in advance to eat before he comes.. good luck

Easy, my husband got me a little plaque that hangs over the sink when our teens complain I just point to it:
There are two choices, take it or leave it.
Tell him what you plan to serve and if he's not happy he can bring something to eat.
Good Luck,

That is so sad! Love and logic can work for adults to...he can eat what is served or not eat. He could bring his own food to! It would be nice for him to learn this lesson, good luck.

I would make a taco bar and have the option of making a burrito or taco..have all the fixing on the side and he can eat it however he wants

Serve what you want to serve and tell little sis that her boyfriend can stay at home. He can either eat what you serve or eat before he comes over, but you're not going to cater to him.

The host should make whatever they want and the guests should be polite and eat it and not complain. Don't worry about the picky eater, that is his problem. We can't please everyone.

You may want to let your sister know what you are making, so John Boy can stop at a drive thru on the way to your house.

Oh, man--some people never grow up do they? Just make whatever you want. To be nice, you can have a fruit salad, veggie tray, and snacks, you cannot go wrong with that and even the pickiest eaters will eat something from those items. My husband is a picky eater, so I just make whatever I feel like cooking. He's another one who eats only certain foods--it makes me nuts!

Wow, that is incredibly rude and immature to complain as a guest in someone else's home! I am appalled. I would speak to my youngest sister about it (his girlfriend) and I absolutely would not bend over backwards to please a whiny, picky, demanding adult. I wouldn't bend over backwards to please a whiny, picky, demanding child either for that matter. My kids know that I what I serve is what's for dinner. That's how it was for me growing up and, as a result, my siblings and I are the least picky eaters I know. I agree whole heartedly with the person who said that Love and Logic can work on adults, too (it has really helped us deal with an in-law who doesn't respect boundaries and tries to be manipulative).

I like to cook healthy, but I try to make it tasty too. Last time I had a certain relative over and they complained about dinner (it was delicious make-your-own homemade pizza. I made the dough from scratch with freshly ground whole wheat flour and had a ton of veggies for toppings and sauce and cheese and served with homemade pesto but he was mad there wasn't meat) and he also complained that the cookies I served for dessert weren't cooked enough for his liking. After he left my husband and I agreed that we will be much less likely to have him over for dinner in the future. That's the natural consequences of being ungrateful and ungracious. But maybe he prefers it this way since he didn't like my cooking. So the boyfriend can stay home or worry about feeding himself ahead of time. And if he makes complaining a habit, you may want to uninvite him to the dinner parties for making it unpleasant. Or just let your get togethers fizzle out and then re-start them again unofficially with the other siblings.

And I agree about the allergies and food sensitivities. I do my best to accommodate those. My sister was vegetarian for a while, and even though I like to eat meat in moderation, I respected her choice and always served the meat on the side or made meatless dishes when I had her over (which is VERY often since we live two doors down from each other). I hate chocolate, and when she makes chocolate chip cookies, she always cooks a plain batch for me before adding the chocolate chips. But I don't complain if she neglects to leave the chocolate out, and she never demanded that I omit meat. If anything I'm picky against unhealthy food, but when I eat at my in-laws I just eat the tasty food they make and thank them.

He was really rude to complain all throughout the meal, but I'll be honest... if you all know that he has a self-restricted diet it's rude not to serve something that's on his menu knowing he won't eat anything else. When you make a meal try to include something in there that you know he'll eat.

Picky eaters are looked down upon as if it's a choice that they eat that way, but when it's serious there are reasons behind it. It could be sensory issues that are related to texture, or they could super-tasters. Some people literally can't force themselves to eat and it's not a choice for them. It's not a disorder, necessarily, but it's not something that they're trying to do to make other people's lives difficult over.

What you should do is ask him for a list of foods he does like or can tolerate. Include some of those things in your menu and chances are that all of your other guests will eat those things too. After all, it's only polite.