Here's what I did wrong when separating. It was a different situation, my husband of 13 years had been having an affair and fathered a child with his fling. FIRST get a lawyer. I thought I couldn't afford a lawyer, however the husband had no qualms about charging his attorney fees on the joint credit card, which we had to split the debt in the divorce. I guess closing the joint accounts would have been a good idea. SECOND DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE FAMILY HOME!!!. I thought I couldn't afford the house payment, and he wouldn't leave. But after moving I found I could have immediately had child support start, and could have saved so much more of our jointly held assets by not leaving, but by forcing him to leave. As it is, I got financially shafted by doing what made me comfortable with my life rather than doing what an attorney would have advised me to do. THIRD get yourself tested for sexually transmitted diseases. I came up clean, thank the lord. I know a good attorney if you need one.