Need Adivce About Sleeping+ Discipline for My 2 Yrs (8Month) Beautiful Daughter

Do not worry. My son was the same way and didn't really talk until 2. Now he is 4 and carries on adult conversations with us! We can't get him to stop and laughingly look back to when we worried that he didn't speak! He was taking it all in waiting until he could do it "correctly", I think. I've seen lots of other kids like this, as a Kindergarten teacher. Some of my chattiest kids didn't speak until they were 2. One day you will wish he would be quiet for 5 minutes! : )

Issue #1
Let her choose her bedtime until she is completely potty trained. It's great that she is doing well with it and you want that to continue. You don't want to fight too many battles at one time. Once you are confident that she is completely potty trained then start making her go to bed. You may want to do a reward chart for her. Maybe give her a treat every morning if she goes to be without the defiance. Bathe her, read to her and bed time. If she does this she will get a treat in the morning. I used a weekly calendar. For each day, my child would get a star on the days that he did good. After the week was over, we went to McDonalds and got an ice cream cone. This was a great incentive for a two year old.

Issue #2
Read to him often. When he does talk make him speak words not baby talk. When he says "cheese" you may want to say "May I have some cheese please?" Although both of my boys were born talking, I had to consistently reinforce them to speak in sentences not single words. Dr. Suess The Foot Book and Snug House Bug House was a huge success for both of them. Good Luck

Your little girl is being a normal 2-3 year old. That age is all about independence. They are beginning to think for themselves and want to "see" how much they can do. An independent child can be a challenge, but on the positive side they can also be a lot of fun. My youngsters never hit the terrible twos, but 3 was a different story!

There are many techniques that you can use to help your current situation, but the most important thing is to be consistent and to let her know that there are rules and she is expected to follow them. Two of my three are very independent, and we have tried to enable them to do things for themselves beginning at a young age. In our experience if they can feel in control of certain activities but understand that does not apply to everything, it makes a real difference.

For example, during your bedtime routine, you might let her choose the book you read and have a chance to "brush" her own teeth before giving you the final brushing. You might create a poster that she can add stickers to when she handles herself appropriately or one she can color in. We had a clown juggling balls and each time we brushed and got in bed with no fuss, one of the clown's balls was colored. Once the paper was full, the child was rewarded.

Time out or loss of a favorite plaything is an effective punishment. It is not easy, but it is necessary. If she won't stay in time out, you keep taking her back to the spot until she does. Pick a particular chair or corner and use it consistently. Eventually--after much protest and many tears--she will learn how it works.

Remember that disciplining your child is actually another way to show your love. It's not about being nice vs. being mean. You have rules for healthy, safety and teach your children how to become successful adults. Someday they will appreciate your efforts--even if they are less than thrilled in the moment.

As for your son, I wouldn't worry right now, but you should keep an eye on his development. My son is mildly hearing impaired, and we identified his problem because he wouldn't speak much--however, that was at age 3 not at 15 months. YOu can encourage your little one to talk through play. If he wants something, make a game out of trying to figure out what it is. If you are outside with him and he is going down the slide, make that a word game as well. It really works well!

Good luck.

Sorry no advice on sleeping, we struggling ourselves::)
About your son. Our Oldest did not speak till he was 2 1/2, just yesterday he got evaluated and his speech is on the level of a 5 year old and advenced in other areas(he is 3 and not in preschool). Our youngest is 18 months, and only says Mama, otherwise it's his own language nonstop.Some kids just do not speak ealry, but when it comes........watch out:)

Hi! I am in the exact same situation as you are with my almost 15 month old son. He "says" a few words (I think I might be the only one who knows what he is saying sometimes). I actually spoke to a person who performs assessments on children and she said it is perfectly normal for kids his age not to say many words, especially boys. There really isn't a reason to be concerned unless he reaches the age of about 2 and still only says a couple of words. She said that since he is pointing at things, babbleing and watching my mouth when people speak, he is perfectly normal. It was suggested to just talk to him, give him directions, read to him and identify things when he points to them. Toddlers are actually absorbing so much more than we could possibly imagine. Also, some of your sons words may not sound like real words. I know my son says "do" for dog and "hmm hmm" for woof woof. So, don't worry, your son is perfectly fine!!

I have a slightly different approach to what some of responses have been, but then again this is a forum to hear all kinds of things that work for other parents and find one that works for you and your particular child/family.
I think a bedtime is of the utmost importance. It teaches routine provides stability and gives you a set time to read to your children. For instance my 18 month old goes to bed between 7 and 7:30 and my 3 year old (just turned 3 last month) know we have to be in bed between 8 and 8:30 and then we read for another half an hour to 45 minutes and then it is quiet time after that until he falls asleep so we finish reading sometime between 8:45 and 9:15 and he is usually asleep within 20 minutes after that. I look forward to our nightime routine and so does he, sometime when I first mention bedtime he is resistant, but I always give lead up to the actuall time by saying 10 mins until bedtime and then 5 minutes and now we have 1 minutes and I receieve almost no resistance. Both of my boys sleep until at least 7 am - so putting them to bed won't cause them to get up too early.
Children need alot of sleep and many of today's children are sleep deprived, in fact it has been sited as a cause for the increase in hyperactivity. Many children become more hyper when they become sleepy, by running around or having tantrums, or being really difficult when they are kept up....or trying to keep themselves up, so what happens is that the more they enter into a stage hyperactivity to stay awake the more it becomes "normal" for them and the more they become hyper and could be diagnosed with hyperactivity eventually. Now don't get me wrong - I am not saying this is the sole reason, sure diet is a huge factor, and also some children may just have the predisposition through no fault of the parents, all I am saying is that children have later and later bedtimes and bedtime is not enforced and it is important - think about how many adults are sleep deprived (studies say something like 90%) and continue to function like that most of their lives, a great gift to give to your children is the value of sleep and making sure they get enough.
An excellent approach to discipline for preschoolers (because toddlers do not need discipline - now to all the mothers who bulk at that statement-I am not saying ignore when you child is drawing on your cream colored sofa with a black marker, or spitting his food on the floor...I am saying is they are not being "bad" they are learning and being curious -they don't understand that they have ruined your sofa - or are creating more mopping for you. I am saying remove the marker from you child and put it up there is no need to lecture, or yell at a toddler - they won't understand it. Oh sure they will understand you are mad at them, but they hear you are mad because they were learning (not because they were learning in a way you don't approve of). Everything your child does is for learning and curiosity. One of the best books I have read was "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers" It explains what I was trying to say above, but in a much more succinct and concise manner.
Good luck with any choice you make for you and your children!
Peace to you,

I'll answer question 2...Read to your son. The more words he hears the more he will pick up on.
Try the little Golden Books, Dr.Seuss, the Pokey Puppy. head on over to your library!

Hi.
Issue #1.
This is very common. Girls are always more defiant with Mom. Do you always do the bedtime routine, or your husband? Did she move recently to a toddler bed? I had issue with my son when he moved. He could get up on his own, and so he had the control. You don't say what your routine is... Here is something to try, if you're not already. Decide when you want her to be in bed asleep. Think about how long it takes for bath, reading a book, etc. and subtract that amount of time. This becomes your starting point. So say that you want her in bed asleep by 9. It takes 15 min for bath, teeth, etc. and 15min for reading a book. So you need to be in the bath by 8:30pm. Period. Before she gets in bed, have her get everything she's going to need - cup of water, stuffed animals, hugs from Dad, brother, pets. So that once she's in bed, there's no need to get out. Then once she's ready, get a really big book with lots of pages. Read her one chapter, quietly. Most of the time, she will fall asleep before the chapter is done, or will be really sleepy when its done. Don't choose a book with lots of action, that defeats the purpose.

Issue #2. I wouldn't worry to much. It could just be that his sister is doing all of the talking, so he doesn't have to. One thing to try is to repeat the nsme of something when he asks for it, do just hand it to him when he points or complains. Say the name 3 times and try to get him to repeat it as you are handing it to him. Then, after a bit, make him use his words to ask for things instead of just pointing. My daughter is 20m and it seems that just lately her vocab is really taking off and the facial expressions! We don't remember our son being so animated at that age.
Good luck.
M.

#2 - If you have concerns you can get him evaluated through Early Intervention for free. Just call them, let them know your concerns and they will evaluate him. If they find a concern the will steer you in the right direction to help correct it.

Well your first problem is pretty easy, though it might be a hard sell for your husband. Let her stay up. I have never had a bedtime for my children. They did however have a wake up time. This taught them very early on about responsibility and consequences.

Face you can put them to bed but you can't make them sleep. It's like leading a horse to water, you can't make it drink. It's a battle you can't really win. But you can make them wake up.

Wake her up at a set time and she will figure out when she needs to go to sleep. Right now defying you on sleeping is a battle she will always win. She gets a big emotional payback from it.

When you wake her up get her moving keep her moving. Don't harp on her that she wouldn't be tired if she had gone to be earlier. Let her figure that out for herself. If she says I was up late just ask her whose fault that was.

Now my children are grown. My daughter is considered extremely responsible at her job. She is 24 years old and in charge of a multimillion dollar payroll. In the 2 years she has been at that company her salary has doubled.

My son used to confuse is friends when he would go off line at 9 pm saying it was time for him to go to bed. They would ask if he could get his parents to let him stay up. He said they didn't care it was when he needed to go to bed so he did.

So for bedtime let her make the choice let her deal with the consequences. You will save yourself a lot of grief latter in life by following this advice. Most parents I know fight the bedtime battle till the kids are in college. I never had to and they never missed a second of class.

Now for the son. My son was the same way. Get his hearing checked. If he has been having colds and ear infections he may have a hearing loss that can be fixed by ear tubes. Also see about engaging a speech therapist if his vocabulary is still small when he is 2.

The other thing to watch out for is older sister speaking for him. Telling you what he wants answering questions for him. He needs to speak for himself. I literally would ask my son a question and clamp my hand over my daughter's mouth at the same time so he could answer.

Good luck with both your situations

Paks

I suggest you not make it into a power struggle. Best way to get kids to sleep is to make sure they have a lot of physical activity during the day and they are more than ready to go to sleep at night. Bedtime rountine is good, but will not make someone go to sleep if they are not sleepy. Power struggle before bed doesn't help with falling asleep and can set up a pattern you won't like. If you are sure she has had a LOT of physical action during the day and should be tired enough to sleep, but is just being stuborn, I suggest simply saying goodnight and leaving her alone in her room with the door closed. If she is truly physically tired, she won't have the energy to protest too long. Also, try calcium and magnesium suppliment, either for her directly, or for you if she is still nursing before bed.

Regarding your son, I wouldn't worry at all about his vocabulary at his age. There is a very wide range of normal when it comes to language development. (Einstein didn't speak much until he was 3.) Your boy can call his parents, ask to be picked up, and most importantly, request cheese -- life is good!

Issue #2: If you are still concerned, I'd talk to his pediatrician. He/she may recommend a speech therapist for your son. I say this b/c my friend is going thru what you're describing. She was concerned about his lack of speech and her ped. gave her a number for a speech therapist. Everything turned out to be fine (no autism) but after the evaluation/tests the therapist did say he should be talking more. Someone comes to her house once a week and works with her son and she says it has improved his vocabulary so much. You might also want to do some research on Early Childhood Intervention in Maryland. Good luck.

about issue #2
at 15 months, not all kids are talking. your son is learning new words everyday and just "storing" them so to speak. when he gets closer to 2, they'll start coming out. it's perfectly normal for 1 1/2 yr olds not to talk much. there is no need for concern.

Some thoughts on Issue #2 - Every kid learns things at their own pace. He will come around eventually. Or he may know the words but he's just more shy. My daughter was a talker from day 1 but even still I did notice that she started talking a TON around the 18 month mark - so give it some more time.

However, if you are still concerned, you can always ask his ped. about it they can let you know for sure if this is normal or if he requires speech therapy or something else...

Good luck! Don't worry too much until your ped thinks its actually an issue...

I have advice for your issue #1. I too had a son who was the "boss". I don't know how it happens but I even had him in counseling for it at 3 years old.
There was a book called 123 Magic recommended to me. It took some time to read it since I am a busy working mom, but every example they gave of a child in charge was EXACTLY the way my son was. I finally was able to start following the book and after 1 week things were much different. I refused to believe that in just 1 week he could change so much, so I spoke to his counselor. The counselor said it was absolutely the new way of discipline I had and he now knew who was in control.
So I truly recommend this book. It was about $15 at Border's but you may be able to find it at the library too. Read the entire book before beginning. You might be amazed at the results!

Hi!
I have different advice than what I read from other members. I have four kids and one on the way, and am a teacher. I find that kids have a LOT more trouble falling asleep when they're overly tired than when they're "not tired enough." Try backing her bedtime up by half hour. Also, I totally agree with the person who said to let her know when bedtime is coming. That's how we combatted bedtime fussiness in my house with my oldest, and I've done it with all the rest. "10 minutes til night night!" and then "8 more minutes until night night!" all the way til time to go.

About your son, I really wouldn't be worried either. I have a stepson who has something called Childhood Apraxia of Speech, which is a speech/language delay. At 15 months he didn't have words. At 2 he didn't have words, it wasn't until he was past 3 years of age that he said his first word. While he was more severe than other apraxic kids, the fact that your son has a handful of words at 15 months should be more of a relief than a worry. Keep tabs on how many words he has at 18 months and so on, and if it becomes a concern do the early intervention eval, it can never hurt to check. We used early intervention, too! But with my kids, I talk nonstop to them. I tell them everything I'm doing all the time, to expose them to language more. My older kids think I'm a big dork for it, but my 21 month old talks my ear off, so that's okay with me. If it's truly a speech issue you could expose him to all the language in the world and it won't help a bit, because it has to do with his motor control with the muscles in his mouth. Meanwhile, just enjoy that he can now tell you he wants cheese! (that's so cute!!)

Good luck!!
And if you continue to worry, check out www.apraxia-kids.org