Nasaly Whine

Hi,
Gosh that can really be maddening!
Have you told him, really sat down and really looked him in the face and explained to him. My girls get it when I take the time and really intended that they do, and when the oldest did it to me! well I am really smiling at that!
best of luck-k

Dear A.,
Hi! I had a similar problem with my daughter at age 3, she would whine about everything. I tried ignoring her, that did not work, because she only got louder. Then, I tried time out every time she whined, well, needless to say, she ended up spending most of her day in time out, and it did not work either. So, I began mirroring her, and she hated it. She told me I sounded funny, and to stop it. I simply continued mirroring her own whining, and within about two weeks, she had stopped. She is now 17 years old, and sometimes, goes back into the nasaly whine, and I simply mirror back. She looks at me like she could stomp me out, and then she speaks in a normal voice. Your son is much younger, but it might work.

Late response, but thought I'd add it. I did what Tammi suggested. When I had had enough of the whining, I explained to him that I didn't hear him when he used the whiny voice, and I demonstrated that voice so he knew what I was talking about. Then I told him that if he wanted something he had to ask for it in his normal voice, and I demonstrated that. He got it, and he obviously now is making an effort to lower his register. It is actually hilarious because it ends up sounding like a psycho stalker voice, but so much better than a whine! Hope it helps.

oh toddlerhood...I'm going through the same thing with my twins. They are 13.5 months old and whine about everything. If I pay attention to something else besides them, if I go to the bathroom and they can't see me, if I don't give them everything they want. The whine and cry drive me crazy. I'm embarrassed to admit this but on days when I just can't take it, I wear my iPod around the house on a low volume so I just don't have to listen to the whining at full blast. Supposedly this will pass but just know you are not alone.
I think the only advice is to be consistent in your response. If you are giving into the whines half the time and other times not, it's not fair to your little one, so either, just give in or find other means of distraction

Tell him you can't understand him when he talks that way and he needs to talk like a big boy. If he isn't really using many words yet and is just whining, encourage him to show you what it is that he wants, and still take the stand that you can't understand what he wants when he whines and needs to show you.

you've already gotten good advice, so I don't need to add to that. Please forgive me, but as a mom of 4 who knows all too well exactly what you're talking about, I laughed so hard at your post. They all find just the right pitch of noise that drives us moms insane and they do it over and over and over. Only my boys do that though. They have some obsession with making noises at all waking times... and sometimes asleep. Ah, kids! You will probably look back and laugh about it someday too... if they haven't driven you completely crazy by then! ;o)

You are very right. Your son is testing and manipulating you with this whine. Now is the time to stand firm and break the habit. Don't give in. Either ignore the whine demonstrating to him that it won't help him get his way or establish a consequence. ie. when he whines he's put in the play pen with not toys or you sit with him in a certain chair/spot holding him until he stops. Good luck and hang tough.

Have you tried teaching him to sign? If he isn't using very many words yet (and many don't at this age), then helping him to have a tool to express what he wants/needs can help alleviate the whining associated with his inability to communicate. It is easier than you think to teach a few very useful words.

We did it with our son, and amazingly his screeches at dinner ended, because he was able to EASILY tell us that he wanted more food, (or he was finished) no frustration involved.
There are easy to teach signs that you can find online, or (if I remember correctly) even in the book On Becoming Babywise...

"More, all done, eat, drink, thank you, up, down " are just a few to get started, but will enable your son to communicate his most immediate needs without frustration and a lot of the whining will go away.
hth

Hi, A.. Well, there's nothing you can do about the nasal part of how he expresses himself, but if you can stop the whining, you can cut down on the nasal thing.

I understand what you mean. I have ADHD, and certain sounds drive me insane. Here's where you and your son have to adjust to each other.

Whining is a kid's way of wearing down your resolve, your committment to the word "No." So when you say no, you always have to mean no, and you have to stick to it. Otherwise, if the kid knows that with enough whining, you will cave in, he or she will whine and tantrum as long as necessary to get his or her way.

A firm "No" when a kid starts to whine has to be enforced. Then you have to let the kid know that this whining is disrespectful (the 1-year-old doesn't understand this yet, so be gentle), and it may require a time-out. A minute or two is enough for a child that young. It's going to take him some time, though, so be patient until he learns that this is not acceptable. In the meantime, be patient and understand that this is a learning process.

Whining doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that you're doing something wrong. Everyone has to deal with this at some point in childrearing. You're not alone.

Teaching a child to respect your rules and to act with good manners is a long process, with new challenges at each stage. You may have to put him in another room while he cries and whines so that you don't have to hear it and you can stand firm.

Somehow, you need to find a way to communicate that #1, what he wanted is unacceptable, which is why you said no to it, and #2, that whining to try to change your mind is also unacceptable.

You might try to keep the whining from happenning in the first place by substituting the thing he wants, which is not good for whatever reason, with something that is OK at the moment. That way, he's getting something he needs, but inside of your rules. That way, your rules look a lot nicer to follow.

And remember, remember, remember, he's only a year old. He doesn't get a lot of the stuff we would all like him to understand. However, remember that he's been observing you for a year, and he knows how to press your buttons, too. So he's wise in some ways, but has a long way to go in others.

Peace,
Syl