Nanny Won't Drive in Snow: Paid or Unpaid?

BOY, Nancy sure is having a bad day today. Comparing A. to Leona Helmsley...Nancy, would you speak in that email tone to A. in person, face to face? A. was just asking for advice; not belittlement and scorn. That is what mamasource is for: to ask for advice and support each other.
Sometimes when you are angry, it's best to not send the email rightaway; save it and re-read it later to make sure it's appropriate. We are all adults, not high school kids....

Anyway, A., I agree with the others, call it a sick day. She otherwise is a great nanny, so don't let this be a pickle. Good luck!

If I were you, I would establish a new rule for situations like this. Since you never established it before, I would let it go this time, and take it as a sick day, since it was her "choice" to not try and come in due to the weather. However, I would type something up today, or atleast verbally establish that as long as there's no advisory where they're demanding people stay off the roads, work or no work, that you expect her to be there, and if she chooses not to, that she will be taking it off without pay. As for today though, I don't feel it's fair to not pay her, since this subject hasn't been addressed ahead of time.

And by the way, I guess Nancy had a rough morning this morning! Just because someone can afford to have a nanny and chooses to do so, does not mean that they don't treasure all the little moments in their kids' lives. I had no inclination at all that you were mad because you had to take care of your son. I did however, detect a distinct note of jealousy in the response you received from Nancy. Hope her day gets better.

Hi A.!
It sounds like your nanny is great, and that this is a one time incident. That being said, I'd pay her. A good childcare provider is hard to find, and unfortunately sometimes these things happen. As long as this isn't normal behavior for her, I'd just pay her and try to move past it.

Also ... I wanted to say that sometimes the responses on boards like Mamasource can totally catch you off guard, and completely take the wind out of your sails. You ask a simple question, and next thing you know you're the worst parent/person ever (not to mention the dumbest). And who wants to verbally get beaten up, especially when you were feeling anxious in the first place and came here for help. This is exactly why I very seldom ask a question on here anymore.

Just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain. *smile*

I hope it all works out.
Lynn

If she is otherwise a good and responsible Nanny, I would use this as one of her vacation/ sick days. She clearly needed a R&R day and the snow was a good excuse. I wouldn't burn your bridges if you don't have to.

As a side note, I had a wonderful Nanny but let my feelings dictate how to handle a situation. She had decided that she was going to go back to school and was leaving us. I was devastated and as a result, I "damaged" our relationship. In the end, I miss her terribly. If I had handled the situation better, I think that she would still be around for p/t care. Hopefully, you can work things out better than I did.

Good luck.
N.

A.,

In all honesty, I'd pay her. As parents we all know how hard it is to find good care for our kids. If she's a good nanny, what's one day? It's not like you are dealing with someone who is lazy, late or unreliable. She actually may be terrified to drive in the snow - and better for us on the roads that she stay home, lol.

I agree with Julie on this one, mention it to her. But I'd still pay her for today.

Enjoy your day.

T.

Oh, and ignore the post that kinda ripped you a new one. You asked a legitimate question and came to these boards for some answers...not to be made out as a selfish mother who didn't want to spend time with your kids!

Well she was honest with you. She could have just told you she was sick and would not make it today. You say she has not taken any sick days as of yet, so give her a break and pay her for the day.

I am not sure I would have ventured out today either. To many people drive crazy in this weather.

I think it really depends. My biggest concern would be...how far is it for her to try to come? Does she have any extenuating circumstances...like were her kids school's closed? I work as support staff at a school and I think it ridiculous that even on a day when the school is closed (ie they do not think it safe for kids to come to school from a few blocks away) I am still expected to risk my and my child's safety to try to come to work even though there are no kids there. I personally had to take a personal day, but then I have a 45 min commute on a normal day and live in an outlying suburb, I am 32 weeks pregnant and my car tires need to be replaced. If I lived 10 min from the school and didn't have the other circumstances to take into consideration, I'd probably feel differently. I would say to go ahead and pay her, but maybe have a talk with her about how you might prefer for the situation to be handled in the future.

Does she have a reasonable option to take public transportation? Bus or train would get her to your place without driving, even if it were a bit late. Assuming that option exists, I say unpaid. If she really has no public transit within 1/2 mile or so, you can offer to pay her but count it as a vacation day maybe... or some other compromise? I know some people - especially from southern climates - really don't have a clue how to drive in the snow and I just assume keep them off the roads if possible.

Morning,

Your nanny should have atleast made an attempt to go to work. I live in the far suburbs and work downtown Chicago. I made it to work. Late but I made it. I guess that since she is a great nanny I would let it slide, but let her know that you were disapointed maybe.

J.

i can understand where you are coming from. there shouldn't be any reason for her to at least try. i babysit a couple kid during the week and no matter what the weather is like i still have them. we split the travel, i get them one day, dad brings them another...and the same goes with drop off/pick up. i can see your point of being upset especially if you work out of the home. because she didn't make an effort you lost one of your days at work. you missed work because of her, i'm going with unpaid. take advantage and spend the day with your kids and try to forget the inconvenience she caused. it happens to all of us. people in IL have no clue how to drive in weather like this so don't get to angry over it.

I think you can do one of two things. 1 - Tell her that she won't be paid for not showing up OR 2 - Let her know that her calling in to not show up for work counts towards one of her sick days. Personally, I like number 2 better and it might make her realize that she made an error in judgement by leaving you in the lurch like that.

I know this is way out-dated now, but in case you read it, I wanted to tell you that the same thing happened to us this year and my husband (at rare instances :) is a genius.

Know what he did?

He called our nanny back and said he'd be right there to pick her up and he'd drive her home that night.....and that's what we did.

In case it comes up next snow season!

I would offer to let her use one of her "sick days"- assuming she has a finite number to use per year. Since it was her choice to not work that day, she either should use a sick day- or not get paid. It sounds like you are more than generous to her overall- so I don't think she will complain too much. It might be a good idea to put something in writing for the future so that she knows ahead of time whether she is going to paid or not.

Tough one- good luck. I am glad you asked this because we are now prompted to work this out with our nanny before we have the same situation arise!

Hi A.

I have never had a nanny, but in my opinion she should not be paid. Like you said, it would be different if she had even attempted it but she didn't want to. If she had any other job, like at Mcdonald's or something, if she doesn't clock in, no pay.

good luck
C.

I am sorry you got some harsh responses. I think it's a strange situation to be someone's sole employer, and it's nice to get advice from others.

Just a little more data, though - my husband's office (downtown) was closed today on account of the weather, and although our school was open (no students aren't within walking distance, so why wouldn't it be?) my son's teacher said that several parents said their offices were closed, too. Commutes this morning were 1-2 hours longer than normal. So I think it was a legitimate reason to "call in." Whether you pay or not depends on whether you would ever pay for a weather day off.