My 27 month old daughter is in bed with the lights out by 8:30, but doesn't fall asleep until 9:30 or 10 p.m.! She doesn't try to come out of her room anymore, but she's in there playing or looking at books for a long time, and we have to keep telling her to lie down in bed. She often says, "I don't want to sleep," so I'm not sure if this is a sleep issue or just a behavioral problem. Once she's asleep, she sleeps all night, usually until about 7 a.m. She often resists naps, too, but the amount of time it takes for her to fall asleep in the afternoon seems to depend on how late she was up the night before--anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half. And if she doesn't nap, she gets pretty cranky until she crashes at about 6, sleeps for a while, then wakes up in a horrible mood. I'm not sure what to do, but it can't be good for a two-year old to be getting to sleep so late.
My daughter is exactly the same way. She is 2 1/2, but has been that way for a long time. I have always worried she doesn't sleep enough.
My older daughter used to do that. When my younger daughter was born, I was referred to the BabyWise book, which advocates an early bedtime for the baby. I thought, why don't I try it for my toddler too? So I put them both to bed early (6:30-7pm) and that solved our issues. I also had to move naptime a bit earlier (12pm) but I was shocked and amazed that my older daughter didn't seem to fight her nap or bedtime! In relating this to my grandmother, who raised 7 children, she laughed and said, "You silly girl, of COURSE she's sleeping better! The more they sleep... the more they sleep! Everyone knows that!" Apparently this is something that all 1950's moms knew, that somehow didn't make it to our generation! Anyhow, an earlier bedtime worked for me. I hope you find something that works for you!
Hi N.,
I'm a HUGE fan of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. In his book he explains about biological sleep rhythms and how to get your child on a healthy sleep schedule. I suggest a MUCH earlier bedtime, especially on days she doesn't nap. What you are describing sounds to me like she is very overtired. The biggest clue for me is that your daughter will crash at 6pm. My daughter is asleep between 6:30-7pm without a fuss and sleeps until 6:30-7am. I would start an extra early bedtime, maybe 6pm, for a week or two until she is better rested and then move it no later than 7pm. If your daughter is well rested and you put her to bed at the right biological time, it should take her no more than 30 mins to fall asleep. "Sleep begets sleep" as Dr. Weissbluth says and I have found this to be SO true. The biggest reason (per Dr. Weissbluth) for sleep resistance is over tiredness. Also try to get her to nap by 1pm to insure an early bedtime. If you are interested in more about Dr. Weissbluth's methods, email me. I L. to share my experiences and believe 100% in healthy sleep habits.
Sincerely,
L.
Try putting her down 1/2 hour earlier. My daughter was the same way and her pediarician recommended Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Awesome book! It works!
Hi N.-!
It seems your daughter is transitioning in her sleeping habits- she may be transitioning out of naps altogether.
Sleep problems can be caused by an interference in the body's natural circadian rhythms - which are going under constant change in a child's first years of life. I would get your daughter up at the same time each morning - don't let her sleep in or get up at different times on different days. 7 AM is a great time to wake up. I would also keep putting her to bed at the same time every day - no exceptions until her sleep patterns are more stable.
Then I would look at her naptime - If she is not tired by 1 or 2 in the afternoon, then I would not give her a nap - but I would put her to bed 1/2 hour or 1 hour earlier - consistently. If she does take a nap, I would wake her from her nap after an hour or so - I wouldn't let her sleep as long as she wants in the daytime.
This will be trial and error to figure out how much, if any, sleep she will need in the daytime, and still fall asleep at her regular bedtime. And it will most certainly change as she gets older to no sleep needed during the day, and bedtime may get a little later.
Something that also could be a factor - she should not eat a big meal right before bed - there needs to be at least an hour space before she sleeps in order for her to sleep well. And she shouldn't eat anything sweet or sugary anywhere near bedtime - this will wire her little body to stay awake and then crash later -it will disrupt her natural rhythms.
I learned this the hard way when my own kids were 4, 2, and a newborn :) Schedules are really important for small kids - for them to function well on so many levels - and this is coming from me - originally an anti-schedule person....:)
Hi - Some kids just need less sleep than others. My son, for instance, doesn't need that much. It used to take him up to an hour and a half or two hours to fall asleep. If I were you I would try to stop the naps. It used to take forever to get my son to go down for his nap and then he would sleep too long and wake up grumpy and then not want to go to sleep at night. Once we stopped the naps he started going to sleep much better at night, sleeping more consistently, and I didn't have to fight him on the nap thing. He was just turning 3 when we finally gave up the naps, but you might try it with your daughter and see if that helps.
My son does the same thing. For naps if he is not asleep within half n hour to 45 min I let him get up. Mostly it is important they rest. A lot of the time he is too wound up to sleep so we try to do some quiet activity before I put him down, like read or sitting on his floor playing quietly. At night once he is in bed, I do not let him get up to do anything. Depending on the day and what we did, I adjust his bedtime. Usually his bedtime is anytime between 8:30 - 9:30pm depending on if we had a busy day or a boring day.
Hello,
Does she take naps in the daytime. If so you may want to try waking her up about 1/2 way throught the nap. Also, you can try putting her to bed @ 8:00pm verses 8:30pm. Hope this helps. It worked for my Twins!
N.,
Sorry to hear your problem. You got some good input and others who understand you. Here's what I found out to be true in my situation...up too late!!! Start the bedtime ritual/process earlier. In my situation, I now start his quiet time, night-night time at 6:30 pm and out by 7:30 - 7:45; naps are 2- 30 mintinues in the morning and 1 - 2 to 3 hours in the mid afternoon. I suggest reading no-cry sleep solutions and healthy sleep habits happy baby. Excellent source of information and sleep transitioning.
T.
My three year-old is like your daughter. We have definitely found, in the last couple of months, that if we miss his window (or biological time, I guess) then we miss a nap. He will goof off, even if he stays in bed, for two hours without falling asleep, then is exhausted by 5 or 6pm. If we are later than 9 for bedtime, the same thing goes. He is running around or, like your daughter, just reading books, playing with his animals quietly.
It has definitely helped to move everything earlier. Nap is now at 1 or 1:30. If I wait until even 2pm then I'm in trouble. Bedtime is 7:30 or 8 latest (it would be 7 or 7:30 if I could get my act in gear!) He seems to fall asleep more quickly (though sometimes it is still a half hour) and sleeps well until 8 in the morning or so. More sleep definitely equals more sleep somehow!
Good luck and if you find something that really works, let us know!
Hi N.!
I in my opinion....she's doing great! Sure she takes along time to fall asleep, but there could be good reasons. Maybe she has some fear. Maybe she hears you in the other room talking, etc....
I think, as long as she falls asleep on her own, then you're good. At least she's not in school yet, where you have to worry about her making it through a school day.
I have my boys in bed no later than 8:15, and one falls asleep by 8:45, and the other by 9ish and sometimes later. I had to switch to an earlier time because it DID take them longer to fall asleep.
I think your daughter will be just fine :o) Give it a little more time. And , especially when she's done with naps, she'll sleep much better.
God luck!
:o) N.
Hi, N.,
My 3 year old son is similar to the child whose dad who posted here. He goes to sleep at 9:30 or 10 PM. if I put him in bed any earlier (as I have tried to in the past) he only stays up in bed until 9:30 or 10 anyway. So if I put him down close to 9:30 or 10, he will go to sleep fairly quickly. This has been his pattern since he was 2. I don't worry much about it, because he sleeps a good 12 hours in a 24 hour time period. He wakes up at 7 AM no matter what time he goes to bed and he takes a 3 hour nap in the middle of the afternoon. if you try the advice of the other folks and put her to bed earlier and it does not work, try putting her to bed around 9:30. it might do the trick. or, just let her play in her room like you have been doing until she goes to sleep on her own. good luck!
I'm a daddy. Your daughter follows a very similar pattern to my son (now 4). For him, that would be too much sleep time, even when he was 2.
My son takes a 1-2 hour nap starting 1 - 2 PM and goes to bed around 10 PM and wakes up from 7 - 8 AM. This has been the pattern for a long time and we got used to it. If he doesn't take a nap, he usually gets really cranky around 7 PM, sleeps around 9 PM and gets up at 6 AM. So, my wife always insists on a nap.
A friend at work has two kids: neither takes naps. They both go to bed at 7 PM and wake up around 7 AM. So, it seems like either nap + 10 PM bedtime or no nap + 7 PM bedtime (asleep by 8 PM) but not both.
A neighbor does 5 - 7 PM nap and midnight - 2 AM bedtime. That's a disaster!
So, when your daughter crashes, she may just be doing a really late nap, not actually sleeping.
You might try moving bedtime to 9:30 PM. It is normal and not excessively late. If that's not acceptable, try moving the nap to earlier in the day.
In light of this, your daughter seems well-behaved. Playing and looking at books relatively quietly for several hours before sleeping is ideal behavior if you accept that 10 PM is an acceptable bedtime.
It might not make sense, but I have fond that my son only does that if he is put down later than normal. Try putting her down half hour earlier for night time as well as nap time. At least if it takes an hour for her to fall asleep she will be asleep half hour earlier!
i just stumbled on something!!! my little girl was doing the exact same thing (same times and everything)... we cut out afternoon naps and now... 10-15 minutes to fall asleep at night and she doesn't seem over tired in the day... i think it was just time to discontinue day naps and we got into a normal rhythm (ie fall asleep at normal time during the night, wake up at a normal time in the AM and no nap)... life is SO much easier!!! best of luck
