My Toddler Won't Eat!

We're going through the same thing, made even worse by having a rotten, rotten cold. My 15-month-old son has lost an entire pound! I just bought Poly Vi Sol liquid multi-vitamins with iron, and I'm going to give it to him on days when he doesn't get enough iron (I don't want to back him up). All that conventional advice is "he's a toddler, he'll work it out and won't starve" but that does not make me feel better! If you haven't tried Pirate's Booty, I'd give it a shot. And yeah, my son too has hunger fits yet doesn't want to eat. He's making me mental.

Good luck,

Audrey

Your toddler is eating...he's just not eating as adventurously as he used to. The trouble is that meal-time is becoming a battle and that is something you DON'T want.

Is he eating with the family at any of the meal times? I'd pull up the high chair to the table, give him his mac and cheese and some fruit, tell him "Bon appetit!" and let him watch while the rest of you tuck into your delicious dinner. Don't offer him what you're eating, just let him see you enjoying it. He may surprise you by asking for some. And if he does, give it to him with no fanfare, tell him you hope he enjoys it, and go back to your meal. You have to take the tension out of mealtime. This is something he can control and you're allowing it. By not fighting him on this, you take back the control. Since you're the Mom, that's as it should be.

Sounds like one of those little control freak phases toddles go through. Dial it back and he may snap out of it. And don't worry too much about nutrition...if he's not losing weight and growing normally, he's getting the nutrients he needs. Maybe you can sneak some sweeter veggie purees into the fruit things he's eating, carrots and squash spring to mind. If he isn't "thriving", then maybe a conversation with his pediatrician.

Good luck!

A....I feel you pain sister!!!! My kids have never been great eaters. I bought Jessica Simpson's book "Deceptively Delicious" and it has been really helpful. I would encougage you to not give in to the tantrums though and give him something different that you originally offered him. He's testing his power at this age. The tantrums might get worse before they get better (he's thinking "well that tantrum didn't work, wait til she sees THIS one!"). Just try to stay calm. Don't bargain with him ("if you take 3 bites..."). We just tell our kids "this is what's for dinner your choices are eat it or don't eat it." Then that's it...nothing else until the next meal if they choose don't eat it. I ran this by my pediatrician and he said in 25 years of being a pediatrician he's never seen a kid starve to death with a plate of food in front of him. ;)

Good luck A....I know it's frustrating.

L.

P.S. Stay-at-home mom to 8 and 5 year old girls.

Mu son used to do things like that (3 1/2 now)...in fact, he still refuses to eat certain things. When he was your sons age, he refused to eat anything that had chunks in it...and continued to do so until he was almost 2 i think. I have not found a really good way to get picky eaters to eat things they don't like. I was picky eater as a child too...my parents offered me things i liked if I would eat what was good for me...I have noticed this does NOT work with my son. LOL. The best thing I can tell you is to keep sneaking things into his food when he is not looking. Some books that I read a while back said that kids just go on food jaggs for a while and not to worry too much because it won't last forever. I always worried about it, but I have been told by a lot of people who have raised full grown kids that they always seem like they never eat anything, but the turn out okay. Just remember kids won't starve themselves...if they are hungry enough, they will eat what is there. When I serve dinner at night, I serve one meal (your son is probably a little young for the one meal idea, but the principle may be the same). I say "james, this is what is for dinner tonight. If you don't eat it, there is nothing else." and then I stick to it. Quite often he does not eat dinner, but that is his choice and I know that he is okay because he eats his other meals well...especially breakfast. I think my son would eat bread and cheese and nothing else if I let him. LOL. Good luck. It won't last forever...it just seems like it.

May I reassure you that this is VERY common.
I am a 52 yr old mother of 3 adults and 1 teenager (no grandkids yet. Every one of my kids went through this to a certain degree.
All kids go through "food jags" where they only want one or two different things. It will pass. Put out only healthy items. Think about it.....He IS eating. Don't force the issue, because at this age he is "practicing" asserting his own identity and will say "no" even when he means "yes", just because he knows he can.
Try to sneakily boost up the nutrition in the foods that he does eat (the cereal is on the right track) and don't worry about it. He won't starve and will miraculously continue to grow and thrive.
There is protein in what he is eating. Just continue to offer limited choices of one or two foods at a time and allow him to think he is in control. You can't "make" him eat things, but you CAN be in control of what is put in front of him. If he gets hungry enough he will eat.
Another thing to be aware of is that babies are growing at an incredible rate, and are RAVENOUS! Now his growth is slowing down, and so is appropriate that he not be eating as much. Most toddlers don't eat very much at a time, but need to eat fairly often.
Toddlers also develop aversions to certain textures and usually prefer simple foods. Go with that and don't stress. You and your toddler will both be the better for it.
Above all be nice to yourself. As an expecting mom, you don't need the extra stress. Just love your son and tell yourself "This WILL pass".
By the way, 2 of my girls have May birthdays. It's a blessed time to have a baby. Congratulations.

Dear A., Absolutely do not worry. You are doing all of the right things. I have been there. My beautiful strong and healthy son who is now 40 would only eat white things his whole growing up time, milk, mashed potatoes, bananas, vanilla ice cream, clams.......he would throw up vegetable or anything I tried to force upon him. Well, we didn't allow white bread in our home so he would eat peanut butter on brown bread. He was a huge milk drinker. He is strong and healthy and never ill. Still doesn't like veggies....Loves sugar !! Has great teeth. Very athletic. Barb

I had that problem with my first son when he was 15 months. All he would eat is oatmeal and mac/cheese I was upset like you. The doctor told me as long as he's eating something let it go. This went on for 9 months then he started eating a few other items. Don't stress yourself out he's eating he won't stave. The more you force him to eat he won't eat and your the one getting upset. He'll start eating different things soon. My son just turned 30 with 2 of his own and was telling me that he has a picky eat but, he remembered what I did and he's doing the same thing it will all work out. Just mellow out and enjoy them while they are young!

Well, by this age my daughter wasn't eating pureed baby food anymore, so I don't have any advise about that. However, she was not a great eater at meal time. Just roo busy to stop and eat! She was small for her age, so she needed to eat! A stategy that worked for us was putting out a snack try (I used an ice-cube tray) and put it out while she was playing. As long as she stopped and ate, didn;t wander around with food in her nouth she could use the tray. It work fairly well. Lots of kids eat more at snack time than at meals anyway! Also, smoothies worked great! You canmake a fruit smootie with yogurt and sneak in some veggie like carrot, wheat germ, flax oil, all kinds of things! As long as it still looks and tastes lije a fuit he likes, he'll probably go for it! Oh! I just bought a cookbook called the Sneaky Chef that has a Mac and Cheese recipe in it while sneaking in veggies! I haven't tried it yet, but it may be worth the purchase! I agree that he is too young to understand the go to bed hungry idea. Good luck! Hopefully it is a phase that will pass!

I have two boys and they both have had times of being SUPER picky and times when it seems like they will eat everything in front of them....If it's the smooth texture he likes then it seemed like you were on the right track by sneaking cereal in with the baby food, you should continue to experiment with finding other things to puree with the baby food. Eating at the table together will help too, because eventually he's going to be intersted in the food he see's you guys eating compared to what he is eating....Also asking advice from your doctor, if you are really worried : )

I won't add too much since you have so much advice already. It was good for me to read it because my dd is 18 months old and since 1 year she's been getting picker. Luckily she loves her veggies etc so it's just the specific things that she will decide not to eat. It was good for me too to read the advice. Maybe I'll get a little more strict and stop going back for something else until she eats it!

The reason I'm writing is that my brother got in a serious accident when he was about a year and a half. He had been walking and eating well before the accident but had to re-learn everything. Also his appetite changed and from that point he would only eat toasted cheese sandwiches and chicken nuggets. I'm sure there were a few other things but it was all comfort food. I'm sure that the accident was related so I'm thinking that the illness that your son had must also be related. I don't know exactly what the trigger is, maybe the trauma makes them feel insecure and only want "comfort" food? In my brother's case my mom didn't push him and let him eat what he liked. He never changed. To this day I don't know if he eats vegetables! So I think it is important to keep offering different foods. Even if you don't force the issue... just have them available and get him to try a bite each time. Eventually he should come around.

I stressed about this though, but meal time then became a chore. My Dr. said I am not a short order cook and as long as there is at least one thing on the plate they like, then if they don't eat, they don't eat and have to wait until the next meal. She also said it's more important to look at what they eat during a given day or week vs a particular meal. If you are concerned about vitamin intake, give him supplements either liquid or gummy.

My daughter is 2 and she will go a week with eating barely anything and then the next week eats us out of house and home. The response below is also correct, they will often eat more off your plate even if their's has the exact same thing on it. So you might let him do that if he won't eat.

There are times as well I will let my daughter just get down from the table and eventually she makes it back to eat what was on her plate.

Good Luck

I had a similar problem with my 13 month old daughter. She was a great eater - fruits, veggies, meats, whole wheat noodles, cheese, eggs, etc. Then the holidays came along, and we had either set of grandparents staying with us for about 2 weeks. They let her eat/not eat whatever she wanted, including cookies and ice cream. I obliged them since they don't get to see her that often.

After they left, she naturally refused to eat all of her healthy foods again. But I stuck with her pre-holiday menu, and after 2 1/2 days of barely eating a bite of this and that, she's back to eating as well as she did before. Also, know that I only feed her every 3 hours for meals and snacks (this provides security and predictability). I'm really glad that I had the wherewithall and discipline to do what I knew would work eventually.

Try to avoid caving to what he wants, it'll just lead to more problems. I believe that this is harder to do with sons than daughters. Most of the picky eaters I know are boys. I think my mom friends with boys are freaked out at the thought of having a son that's little, that they'll feed them whatever they want as long as it's a lot. Whereas it's not necessarily a "bad" thing to have a daughter who is little (obviously the gender bias in our society). I'm sure others have the opposite experience, but it's just something to think about.

I would stop pureeing and give him something with a more interesting texture. Mine stopped eating anything that was "smooth" at about 9 months and won't even do applesauce now--has to be (soft) fruit chunks and noodles.

another option you can try is leaving things as a snack like thing. my 2 year old wont eat sometimes when it is meal time but if i make little snacks for her she will eat those....it seems to be a control thing. they are still learning and growing and as much as it pains us so long as they are eating dont worry about it!! their appitites change as they grow. he will eat. i dont recommend the eat or go to bed route at this early of an age. it doesnt work. they dont eat.

I just put a variety of foods on the plate and let my children eat. One of my boys will eat anything. One of them has to see it on his plate FOREVER before he will consider putting it in his mouth. I just don't make it a power struggle at all.

I really think that toddlers eat what their body needs. If they need protein, they gobble protein-rich foods, etc. If your little guy is healthy, I think you're doing the exact right thing by sneaking in nutritious additives.

(When my 18 month old went on a protein strike, I made tiny little turkey burgers. He did eat this - though his brother ate most of them!)

Your toddler is just learning that he can control some things (ie: what he eats). First off, never expect patience, acceptance, or cooperation when he is really hungry... it won't work.
Since he is now old enough to eat the same things you are eating, offering him the same meal he sees you eating will help. He might be more inclined to take a bite off your plate (especially if he thinks you don't want him to).
Also, don't give in to his demands. Decide when you are preparing the meal what you will feed him, and don't change your mind because he throws food, a fit, or anything else. Offer him the new foods first while you slowly prepare the one he likes. offer just a small portion of the one he likes as well as the new foods. Offer at least 4 different things on his plate. My 19 month old son started refusing to eat anything I tried to feed him, but will eat almost anything if I leave him alone and let him play with it and feed himself. He may get more on the floor than in his mouth (as with applesauce), but at least he is trying them.
Try to relax and not make food such an issue. If he skips a meal or two, or only eats the mac & cheese for a week, it really won't hurt him (call your doctor for confirmation).
So, the ideal plate of food would be say two tablesppons of mac & cheese, applesauce, cottage cheese (for both protien and texture), and peas. He may only eat the mac & cheese, but if you let him play with it and feed himself, you will notice him at least try the other foods as long as you aren't hovering over him.

Have you tried to be sneaky? Puree some things and mix them in with the stuff he likes. There is a cookbook called deceptively delicious by Jerry Seinfield's wife. It has a lot of ways to get a picky eater to eat healthy. You could also try alternate forms of protein like peanut butter and soy products. Hope this helps...

I know this is not a politically correct answer, but you are the boss. I have 3 children (one is currently 15 months old) who would not eat healthy food. When I put him in the high chair, he would refuse everything but jam and crackers.
To fix this I would put him in the chair, and when he refused the good food, I would tell him, "this is food. You are not getting anything else." He would fidget and fuss. I personally do not let the whining of a baby control me, that is why I'm the parent. But when he continued to refuse I would take him out of the chair without feeding him and say "come back when you can eat good food." I have never seen a baby that will starve to death with food in front of it. I have done this with not only my children, but other moms have come to me so I can show them how to do this as well. let me know if you have anymore questions.
S.

A.,

Toddlers are so busy playing and running around. They seem to not want to slow down and eat. So typically there is a slump in the appetite at that age. Sometimes the only way to get them to eat, is by example. Share your meals - sit down three times a day and eat the same foods together if you can. Not only will this be healthy, it will be great bonding time. Best wishes.