My Sons Stresses over Independent Classes

Try to have him bond with just one person at the center. That way he feels safe. My son would cry when I left him at day care but now if he sees this one worker that he's close to, he lets her hold him and he feels better.

But I feel for him, he seems to really hate it for some reason. Is it scary? Did something happen? Personally if it is emotionally upsetting him it's not worth putting him through this. He's even throwing up he's so upset.

I don't have any advice, but as I read this my heart really goes out to you. UH!!! I feel bad for your son, but totally understand why you'd continue with the classes. Good luck to you tomorrow.

My son is 3 and his teacher has noticed something similar...she says he seems to get himself all worked up right before a teacher directive activity...like spreading peanut butter on crackers or decorating cookies, a painting project...sometimes its so bad he cries and says I cant or I dont want to.....she says he thinks about it, knows it coming and get all worked up about it.......but she is not giving up on him and neither should you.

When he was younger we took a music class on Sats for 45 mins....and although he was so excited to go to class...he would never participate, always shut down and be shy, lie down on the floor....it would frustrate me so much......After 2 seasons of paying we just stopped going...I regret that because I think that may have helped him out with his current situation.

Keep attending and dont make a big deal if he doesnt want to participate...
Who knows what goes on in their little minds and how they perceive the things around them.....

Good Luck
Linda
www.workathome4yourfamily.com

Hi Crystal,

I had a similar experience with my daughter who is now almost 4 but at the time she was about 2. I signed her up for a music class and she kept expressing that she didn't want to go. I made her go any way since I had already paid for the sessions. Hind sight, I realized that she needed to be able to enjoy whatever I put her in and if she didn't enjoy it then I needed to respect that I find something that she does like. I decided from then on that I would do trial classes to see if she liked it and it seemed to work. I also didn't realize the impact of having a second child so close in age and she really had a hard time adjusting to being second fiddle to the younger one. So maybe he is not ready to separate from you and needs more time with you.

Anyways, good luck and remember pick your battles and this might not be one worth digging in your heels for.

Hello Crystal - Please listen to your son. My son will be 3 next month (10/17) and although I don't have a diagnosis from the doctor's yet, I have been reading up on a lot of books regarding "Sensory Integration". Please get him an evaluation to see if he has sensory issues. The gym might be overstimulating his system.

I took my son to a neurogolist and we are running some tests on him to get a diagnosis. If you look up "Sensory Integration" on the internet or read any books on it, you will find a lot of different behavior patterns, such as various sensitivities to his environment. It could be anything from his hearing, to his vision, his sense of touch or smell. He is comfortable at home, so it must be the gym.

Your are a wonderful mother for getting him to be active but, please listen to him and get him evaluated.

God Bless.

My daughter is 4 1/2 and I had a similar problem last year with gymnastics. She was actually excited to go, but when we got there, she screamed and refused to go.

I've learned that I cannot build events up with her and not tell her too early about things. I also cannot surprise her about events either. I tell her usually the night before or the morning of. Making it sound fun is the way to go. Your son sounds as if he just doesn't want to do it. You don't want to quit though, because once you give in, he wins. If he doesn't get better, then tell him that gymnastics is over in a few weeks and this way he doesn't think he "won".
Good luck.

i think its great you have him in an independant activity....but since he is only 3 and is terrified...maybe now isnt the right time for him...maybe put it off for a few months and work on leaving him for short periods with sitters or family...maybe its the seperation anxiety.

I understand your feeling of not wanting to give in, but if your son has gotten to the point where he is so upset that he actually threw up on the teacher, I think you should reconsider. A three-year old is old enough to know what he likes and doesn't like, and if this is supposed to be a fun time for him, why not ask him what he would like to do and then find something that he would enjoy? This is not school, where he wouldn't have a choice, this is supposed to be fun! Good luck!