My Son Was THAT Kid

Let the people get annoyed, be consistent at all costs. Who knows, sometimes when im staring at a screaming baby and her tired frustrated at her wits end mom i am merely feeling empathy for her, i have been there and totally get it. You may thingk their opinions are worse than they really are.

But even if you are in fact annoying people, oh well, such is life. You need to teach him that these tactics prove no results, strangers stares and all.

My daughter was that kid TODAY

The very reason I don't take either of my kids to the grocery. It is a nightmare. I always go around 9pm once the kids are in bed. It's so peaceful and I have the place all to myself at that time of night! Try it.

I had this happen with my first son in CVS, and I was so mortified. He wanted a car, screamed and cried, so I left him there and walked around the corner out of sight, came back and he was done crying. Another time in the grocery store, and we left everything in the basket and walked right out of the store until he calmed down. Who cares about the other people, parents will understand, and you have to not give in and be consistent. I will walk right out of wherever we are if it happens and will either go home and have time out, or wait until the tantrum is over and then go back in. You just have to be patient and have thick skin when it happens. He'll realize eventually that crying and having a fit will not get him what he wants.

First thing, you're not alone! We've all been there; my daughter was "that kid" today (she's 3 and is "that kid" a lot these days.) You're right, time outs don't have much meaning to a 17 month old. At 17 months, I made situations like these into a game. For example, maybe he could put some groceries onto the checkout stand or he could "help" put light items into the bag? I have found that being proactive, rather than reactive, works much, much better at this age. Good luck!

I solved the problem by not taking my kid out in public while she was that young and unreasonable. When my husband would get home from work, I'd run out the door to do my shopping. Alone. In peace. It was the changing of the guard. I was very happy our local grocery store was 24 hours. I could shop at midnight if I wanted. Now that she's older I just have to give her the look and she stops. She knows I will drag her butt out to the car to give her a swat if she continues to misbehave.

mine was/is that kid too (4) we just do not take him to the store any more and I think time out is too early for him personally and sometimes letting them get it out helps reduce the length and occurrance.

With some kids you have no choice but to get a babysitter so they can stay home and you can get your shopping done.
17 months is too young for time outs.

Don't worry every one with children has been or will be in your shoes. They don't have the words to tell you, so they scream! Just be consistent... Get what you need and get out of there or don't take him with you. Just be strong, this too shall pass!

This will pass. It is his age. This is not something you should be ashamed of, we have all been there.

There are times, when you may not be able to take him to the store.. He is young enough that distractions, snacks, bribing, do not mean anything when he is is in a total different controlled environment like home. I always tried to plan the errands AFTER our daughter had breakfast and an hour of really active outside play. That energy was out and she could pay attention. Or after nap, a snack and outside play.

He is hungry, bored, He has lots of energy and may have the "I wants and gimmies". You may need to just leave him at home with your spouse or with a friend. Or you will need to judge your sons behaviors to see if he is going to be able to handle this outing.

The moment a child starts losing it, it is time, to pick them up and carry them out to the car and leave. It is not fair to him, to you and to the others around you.. ANYONE with a child will know exactly what is going on.

As he matures you can explain, "we are going to the store to buy...
You will be sitting in the basket and I will need you to help me find milk, diapers, blah, blah, blah...Remember we use our inside voices, we do not touch, we look with our eyes. If you cry or yell, we will leave the store."

"Pick out a snack because we do not buy snacks at the store."

"If you cry or yell we will leave and mommies feeling will be hurt."

Then at the store. "Thank you for sitting in the basket. Remember inside voices. We need fruit. Where is the fruit in this store? We need bread. The bag is blue, do you see our bread on the shelf? "
This si how you will keep him engaged. Thank him fr being a good helper. Thank him for using a inside voice.

Try it again in a few weeks with him, but remind him you will leave if he throws a fit. Then do it.

No he really does not understand. If he was 3 yo it would be a very different story. 17 months - there is no reasoning with them. People in the store
should understand that. They are just too young. They want what they
want and they want it now!!! It will get easier when he is older. All I can
offer, is when he is old enough to get it, follow thru. If you say you are going
to leave the store if he does not stop the crying, leave. I know it may be
inconvenient but a few times of doing it and you would be surprised how
compliant they become. Good luck. Forget about everyone else.

He's only 17 months old, he doesn't have a lot of ways to express himself yet. You are not alone, we've all been there. I know it's embarrassing but try not to worry about all eyes on you. Say what you need to to your son or try to distract him but know that sometimes even the best children and the best moms will have those moments. I have a 2 year old little boy who went through a screaming phase. I consistently did what I could but sometimes it just didn't work and I was the one with "that" kid.
It will get better. I used to try to keep it light and tell my son too loud and cover my ears when he yelled at home. Now my son yells and will say too loud and then laughs and "yells" in a whisper.

You just have to be consistent and never give in to that behavior. If he learns he can get what he wants with that behavior, then he will use it as he gets older.

Make sure no one in the house yells or raises their voice. It's one thing to say "no screaming" but it's another if he sees examples of that behavior in your home. Regardless of what you say, he will learn by example.

I would tell DD sometimes, "We're just going to quickly get this and go home. I know you're upset but you can't have that" and try to put on a brave face and just plow through. By the time you're in the checkout, you might as well finish. I have a LOT of sympathy for parents of younger kids especially since we've all had one of those days. Hang in there. Try to give him clip-on toys that he can play with or give him a box he probably can't destroy after it's rung up.

This phase will lessen. Have you tried baby sign language? Sometimes it helps to be able to tell him "later" or "do you want milk?" etc.

It's probably a phase unless you are not consistent and sometimes give in to what he wants because he screams. Then it becomes a difficult behavior because for him, it *sometimes* gets results.... so he'll try it every time to see if it will work.

Your grocery store example is hard because you're already in the middle of the checking out and there's not much you can do, except what you did... Try to redirect with other things and NOT give him what he's screaming for.

I remember having some difficult behaviors with my son. I don't remember how old he was, but it seems like he was older than yours. At the store I always went armed with snacks and/or something else for him to do while I shopped. I loved those little boxes of raisins because they take forever for them to get out and are good for fine motor. I was really mindful of his schedule... I didn't take him when he was hungry or tired. And I also prepped him before we went... I would tell him, "We're going in the store now. If you scream, tantrum etc... we will go out to the car until you stop." I would park my cart and let someone know I'd be back for it and I'd strap him into his carseat and sit in the front seat ignoring him until he stopped. We did that only a few times and he learned. But again, I think he was older.

With screaming I think you just have to ignore it and try to teach other ways to communicate. If he's not talking then try teaching him signs.

I am not an advocate of time outs in general and I don't think that they work on kids this age at all. Natural consequences work at all ages though. I'd start there.... and don't be worried about other people. People who have kids or have been around kids at all understand. Stick to your guns and be consistent or your little one will also learn that he gets his way and when he won't which will also lead to bigger behaviors when you're out.

Good luck!

bless your heart, i'll never forget when that first happened to me...wasn't that long ago, i think last week - nah, j/k. but he did act out last wk too. my thoughts on it and/or ideas that help me...
- i try to not take him when it's almost nap or food time - CRANKY
- i do "drive by" grocery shopping sometimes - get in/get out, no browsing for me!
- i bought some lollipops, that usually shuts him up til it's gone, then i'm usually done - sweet!
- i use toddlerese language by harvey karp..."you're mad! i know you're mad! you want to get out of that cart now! let me out of that cart now mommy!"...wait, watch, kiss on the head...repeat if necessary...

those are my only thoughts. my son's a little over 2 and he's still fussy gus sometimes. hell i don't blame him, i can't say i like going shopping either but we gotta get thru it. i hope some of that helps girl...it'll get better once he can talk & you can entertain him throughout the store..."look at this, look at that", blah, blah, blah - lol :)

I feel for ya and unfortunately I think you have tried everything I can think of. I know its annoying to reply with no help but I just wanted you to know your not alone and I totally wouldn't give you any look but sympathy. I'm gonna keep tabs on this and if you find anything that works please let me know. GOOD LUCK

You are not alone.

Picture this: I'm in Kroger. I'm pushing that ungodly huge 'car cart'. You know, the one shaped like a car for kids? I've got my then 5 year old and my 2 1/2 and we have a very pleasant time shopping. Then ... *cue the horror movie music* ... we get to the checkout. You know, the checkout where the candy is conveniently kid eye level. BOTH of them went absolutely apesh*t because I answered 'not today' to getting some M&Ms. They had never acted that way before and I was floored. Are you kidding me? These are not my children!! I got out as quickly as I could and tried to stear that bus out the door while shielding my face from the gaping glances.

We've all been there. We've all had THAT child. Please take comfort in that.

Unfortunately, until your little one is old enough to understand reason and cause and effect, you're going to have to minimize the trips when you can. When you can't get around it, try and go when he's fed and not tired. Try to bring a toy or game. Maybe even his own pretend credit card to hand to the cashier. Give him the receipts when you're done. And when it's a successful trip, praise praise praise him for being such a huge help to Mommy.

Good luck with this and realize this too will pass.

He's pretty little for time out and bribery-it's just his age-try to get someone to watch him when you have to dash out. Try it again in a few weeks-but plan to go for just a couple of things. Put him in his stroller where he can't see the items going by and just use a basket. He'll outgrow this. People really aren't looking at you with disdain-they are actually feeling quite grateful that it isn't their child!

I feel your pain. My 15 month daughter does the same as well as hit , bite and pinch. When she screams at home for no reason and it gets out of control I just tell her no screaming and put her in her crib for a few minutes instead of a timeout. It seems to work pretty well. And to all those people who are staring and making you feel embarrassed, I just try to finish what I'm doing with as much grace as possible. If they havent been thru it they may some day. What are you suppose to do...never leave the house again unless it's 10 at night.

I have had 2 daycare parents with this same problem, they were younger than your son, the first one everyone told her to ignore it, didn't work, she was at her wits end when she was asked to leave a hospital, and then again asked to leave a resturant because other people were complaning about her sons screaming, so she started flicking his cheek with her middle finger every time he screamed, about a week and a half later she said he didn't do it any more, she said every now and then he started but as soon as he realized she was going to flick his cheek he would stop. The one now he will be one year old next month and he screams about everything, his mom is nipping it in the bud now and she also is flicking his cheek, both Military moms, she has a friend who's daughter screams, and she's like no way am I going to allow my child scream like that. Your son is 17 months old, this time out thing drives me crazy, you mentioned you tried to offer him water, cookie a toy, that teaches him nothing, that's rewarding bad behavior. You need to start disciplining him. The one now that's in my daycare, we he screams I say no screaming, and then he will do a lesser scream to get the last word in, like he's trying to talk back. I don't get him anything when he is screaming, this child screams when i put him in the high chair and go into the kitchen to get is food, he screams after I change his diaper, and I walk over to his basket and put his powder away, he screams if I leave the room to go throw his diaper away, there's no tears just screaming, it will get worse if you don't correct now. J.

If and when my kids no matter what the age wants what is being scanned then they have to wait for the lady to hand them the bag.
I have also allowed my kids to be the one to "pay" I let them hand the money/card over to the cashier.
That usually helps. When it comes actually opening the item I say first we get in the car.

I have a son the exact same age as yours, and we are currently going through the exact same phase! And on top of the screaming, he hits, scratches, and head butts too. You are not alone! But it is very embarrassing to deal with, and we have come to the conclusion that whenever possible he stays home for now, until we can get some type of control over these tantrums. I am enjoying reading your responses, thank you for asking this question!

From around 18 months to just past turning 2, I called my daughter "Screamy McScreamerson". She would just scream for no reason, at the drop of a hat. She didn't even have to be upset about anything - I think she just liked making noise and it was easy to do. Fortunately she wasn't too bad in public but one time she threw a fit over story time at the library, of all places. They had toddler story time once a week and she had already been to it a few times without any issues. Then one time we showed up and she just refused to go into the room in the children's library where story time was held. I tried to pick her up and she started screaming. I got her to calm down, but then the librarian started ringing this big old-fashioned school bell to call the kids in and DD started screaming all over again. And of course, everyone, including parents and other kids, are starting at her like they are wondering what the heck is her problem. I could not get her to calm down, so I finally just picked her up and got her right out of there.

I would agree that time-outs don't really work at his age right now. Best you can do is try to ignore it as best you can. In the end, that's what we did with DD, and eventually she got out of it - it was just a phase that thankfully, eventually, came to an end. If you can leave your son with someone while you go out alone to shop, that would probably be best for now.

minimize your outings that keep you confined in a location e.g. store, restaurant, etc.........BE CONSISTENT, don't give in........at home when he does this & you feel that ignoring him isn't working put on music real loud or listen to an ipod with ear phones.......

this is a tough age but how you get him out of this will set the stage for how you raise your son & how well behaved he will be as he gets older