...apparently cuts herself. My main question is would you, as a parent, tell the girl's parents? We've only lived here for a year so I don't have a whole network of friends who know the girl or her parents that I can discuss this with. I've only met my son's friend once and talked to her Mom on the phone once. I have many concerns, the first being the girl's safety and well-being. However, it also crosses my mind that may she is just saying that to get attention. Regardless, my gut is telling me that I should call her Mom and let her know what her daughter is, at a minimum, telling my son. If it was me, I would appreciate someone telling me if my child was doing this him/herself. How would you react receiving a call like this from someone you don't know? Any advice?
Yes, you should tell. A parent would want to know. If she is cutting herself or just talking about doing it, she needs help.
yes, this is difficult. But you must act/investigate. I would talk to the girl first arrange something with her and your son so you can have an opportunity to talked to her and see where her head is and get a feel for her parents. From this I would then decide if the issue needs to be addressed further with her or with her parents.
Yes - tell. You'd feel awful if it got worse and you hadn't said anything. Of course there is always a chance that your concern might not be well received - but I believe that is a chance you have to take. Just be very careful how you word it to them.
i would be grateful that someone cared enough to let me know! even if she isnt cutting there has to be something going on for her to want the negative attention!
J.,
tell her mom. tell her that you've noticed something and at the risk of her not liking you anymore you think that their daughter's safety and wellbeing is more important and then just say it. tell her that the only judgement you're making is the decision to tell her. tell her in person.
Good luck! and Bless you for caring. ~C.~
As a parent of a 14 year old with many friends of all different types I can tell you it is a tough decision. If you have an idea that the parents are the type that care about what is going on in their childs life then don't hesitate to tell the parents at all. But you do need to explain to your son that you are doing this so that is she gets mad blames him etc he is prepared for it. This is not an easy situation to be in and I know from experiance.
If the parents are ones that seem to come off that they just don't care what thier child is doing then you might want to bring it up to a school councilor when school starts back up. Dealing with parents that are not in tune with thier children is the worst thing EVER!
I hope it goes well for you.
I'd tell someone, but it's hard to say whether to start with the parents. Do you know what the home situation is? Maybe start with the school counsellor. If she's telling someone she does this, she's certainly seeking attention/help.
Speak to the girl first! It is a matter of respect. Teenagers are people too and deserve respect. You want to make sure that it is true, but also the reason. If she is having family problems or is abused at home, then telling the parents would only do more harm than good. Feel out the situation first, and get some more information before you decide.
