My Son, His Latest Phase, Any Ideas????

Why are you arguing with him? Here's what I think:

You: "Son, we will leave the house in 10 minutes. Time to get ready to go."
Him: "No, Mommy!"
You: "I'm not going to argue about this."
And then go do whatever you need to do in order to get ready to leave. The first time he has to go to the grocery store barefoot and wearing pajamas, he'll get the point. =)

Sounds like he is ready to be taught that "correcting Mommy is disrespectful".

He sounds exactly like a little mommy, doesn't he? Run with that. Model exactly the behavior you expect of him – that's how kids learn best. And accept correction exactly as you hope he will. If my grandson reminds me that I forgot to say please, or am talking with food in my mouth, I smile and thank him graciously for reminding me. The issue goes away instead of escalating, his knowledge and observations get validated, and I am gratified that all the lessons we've given him for nearly 5 years have stuck.

And he sees me as a fair-minded person. He treats me fairly in return. That's worth far more to me than demanding that he respect a double standard.

The book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk is a resource that can sensibly eliminate so many kinds of parenting stress.

Well, I have to admit it made me giggle, and I can see why it is frustrating, he is talking back and it is disrespectful, but I do not necessarily think he realizes that. Maybe you do need to "say it nicer" a smile and being loving goes a long way. I will say my 3 yr old has learned to tell me to "smile" and to "be happy" when I get a stern voice or get angry...your son sounds Adorable! There is nothing wrong with establishing boundaries.

Have a little talk that you are the parent and it is your job to prepare him for independence & not the other way around and his uncooperative argumentitive attitude needs to stop. Then the next time he starts in, you look him in the eyes on his level and say, ENOUGH, stop it now! Got it, young man? With that look only us mothers can do!! If he doesn't, then your next words should be, you have just lost your _____________(whatever is his currency, or thing he loves that is not a necessity to life) and follow through. This will stop & usually pretty quick. At least for my two it works, very well. (My son's currency right now is tv or video games...my daughter is her music at bedtime) Trick for you is to find out what his currency is right now & it does change, so you have to adapt as it does. Best of luck, oh & you described my daughter at about 3.5 years old! :)

Then say please, thank you, ask nicely the first time, etc. Model the behavior you expect him to have. Explain to him that if he does not listen the first time, then he is choosing to make you more upset, to be disrespectful, and then you are not going to be as nice.

I agree that as Mom, you have the right to pull rank as you deem fit, but he might be testing you and seeing how you are going to react. If you start out speaking to him the way you expect him to speak to you, is he going to have a come-back for that? He might also be going through a phase of being very aware of what the "rules" are and expecting everyone to follow them the same way. My DD is 3 and I can see her getting this way at some point, just because of the personality she has. Right now, when I am even just more firm in how I talk, she gets very upset and says, "Mommy not be upset! Mommy not be mad! Mommy be happy!"

I would recommend reading the book "How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk". It's great for learning communication strategies with your kids in a way that makes them feel heard and helps get you both on the same page.

as soon as he said this part : Him: NO Mommy! i would've busted his rear right there and then, and STERNLY told him to not EVER tell me no; then again when this part took place Me: Yes... you know the routine. Him: NO... you DID NOT SAY PLEASE! when he said that i would have done it again. then i would've told him I'm your mother, and i ask YOU nicely because i love you NOT because i have to...now do what i say NOW!

maybe you should (in a quiet steady voice over dinner or something like that-not in the heat of the moment) tell him we do NOT EVER tell mommy no and explain why and from now on, there will be immediate consequences for that. and the FIRST time he does it, he gets immediate consequenses. that may seem a little harsh, but i can be HARD when ANY of my kids, neices, nephew's, or friend's (like a sister) kids tell me no when told what to do

he's arguing "nicely" with you from the start and you need to stop him in his tracks before he has a chance to get there.

My daughter reminded me of manners a few times and I smiled, said she was right, apologized, said it right, and went on. She quit after a couple of times and I am glad. :0)
She told my husband when he was raising his voice and he got MADDDD.
She tested him a lot more before it stopped. He had the "I am the adult, the daddy, the boss...." talk and she came to ask me if I outrank him. We have military friends. Then I explained we parents are both in charge of her and she has to obey us both.

make him leave unready there is a consenquence for his actions and make that known. tell him once and that is it. do not give him a chance to throw your words back at you make him realize the consenquences tell him once to sit at the dinner table if he doesnt comply make him do without dinner. if he cant find his shoes make him go without shoes. he gets one warning and that is it then a consenquence for not complying. do the same thing to him if he says I am hungry dont fix him anything to eat until he says please dont remind him he obviously knows the rules very well. a little to well in my opinion. so if he knows the rules you dont need to remind him. :) good luck and figure the tricks that work before he becomes a teenie because this wil happen again. garantee it.

He's just trying to exhibit what he's learned. Just tell him that when it's time to leave the house, he has to be ready. He seems very smart as if he understands what he's doing. He probably has a sense of humor your not ready for....

Mommie breathe and take some time out for yourself.

My son has started this...I don't find it intentionally defiant. I think it's funny. I ignore him when he gets too irritating, and I use my 1-2-3 Magic technique to get him to follow my instruction if I really need to, but substituting a removal of priviledge or denying something if he does not comply.

make sure you are asking "correctly" the first time lol. and then NO ARGUING. he does it or goes to time out. period. you are engaging him which is giving him the power. his choice is to do as he's asked or go to time out. that's it.