I know mom's have been sending their kids to school for decades and everyone survives but my son is having a hard time and I need some pointers on what to say to him to help ease his feeling of being scared. My son never had any problem going to 3 or 4 year preschool. He never showed any fear of Kindergarten until his first day. He was crying when I dropped him off and when I picked him up both yesterday and today. I of course cried for hours but I never let him see me. I am looking for some positive words of advice of what to say when he begs me not to "make" him to go to school!?!?
Thanks!
Get the kissing Hand
http://www.amazon.com/The-Kissing-Hand-Audrey-Penn/dp/193...
You can then trace his hand on card stock to cut out. Give it a kiss and have him keep it in school.
Soon he will make friends and everything will be fine. (((HUGS)))
Kinder orientation at our school said this was totally normal...kids who enjoyed preschool will sometimes fuss and complain about kindergarten. I know my 5 yr old went through some pretty big developmental changes over the summer and lots of parents I have talked to agree this is a difficult age...right on the cusp between little and big kid. Losing the play-learning of preschool for the more academically focused kinder, complete with state standards, the shift in expectation and responsibility can be overwhelming and take time to get used to. I'd definitely create some school oriented routines...laying out clothes, helping pack lunch, shoes by the door, routine drop offs/good byes. Don't deny his feelings. It is OK for him to be scared or not like it. Do you have any similar experiences you can relate to him? I have distinct memories of wrapping myself around my mother's leg and crying when she tried to leave my kinder class when her scheduled volunteer hour was over. My son finds this hilarious and it usually resets an argumentative attitude about school. I didn't like it, but I did it, and now I'm OK... I'd give it a few weeks and if you don't see any improvement check in with the teacher, ask how it looks from her perspective and if she has any recommendations. Our school is extremely flexible and will let kids bring in a CD with their favorite song or a favorite item for a brief show and tell to help them transition from home to school in the morning. You could also ask him to tell you 1 good thing about school each day, and be prepared with your own examples from when you were little. Are you allowed to provide a snack for the class? Maybe one day you could let him choose the snack to take (from an approved list). Or maybe he could take one of his favorite books for the teacher to read at story time? Does he have a cubby or locker? Would he be allowed to keep a family photo posted in it? If you dread school, he will too. I make sure to tell mine all the time how proud I am that he is a kindergartner now. He is my favorite kindergartner in the whole world (thank goodness I don't have twins...he can own this status as only his...for this year anyway.) Good luck!
I hope you realize that this isn't an unusual thing. It's a fear of the unknown. New place, new grownups, new kids, new rules - wow, what changes! Let me see if I can get my old life back!
You'll need to be friendly while you're being firm. Let him know that he *will* enjoy school once he gives it a chance. Assure him you'll be there when school gets out for the day. Make your goodbyes short and sweet.
You might give the teacher a heads-up, too, so she'll know he's struggling right now.
I suggest you set his cries aside and remind him he will have fun playing with all the kids and learning new things.
If he carries on, I would ask him to think of one thing to share at bedtime that he is afraid of. Address it one by one and communicate with him. Answer his questions and pray with him if that is what you do. If he tries to carry on, ask him to hold that thought for tomorrows sharing time.
When you pick him up, ask him to share with you one of the fun things he did. If he can't think of any, go through his backpack and bring up his coloring or alphabets.
He will get through it.
Get the book "The Kissing Hand." It's about a baby racoon who is afraid to leave his mom and go to school. I read it to my granddaughter when she had to be hospitalized and the staff said it worked because she became more calm and compliant and stopped crying.
Look for some books in the kids section of the library. They have tons of books about the first day of school, the first day of kindergarten, and they talk about their fears and how to handle it. Maybe he just needs to know that he's normal and needs some ways to handle it. Pack some pictures of you and your family in his pockets and lunch box or backpack. Tell him to look at the pictures when he feels bad. Let him know you think of him whenever he looks at the pictures.
There were a lot of really good responses to the same sort of question last week.
The secret is for you to be strong, confident and supportive.
Your son really will adjust. He is probably very bright and sensitive. The teachers are used to seeing this each fall.
Just smile and make the good byes short and sweet. It's an adjustment. They get tired. You need to be upbeat. He will follow your cues. He will adjust. They all do. Good luck.
Oh, the poor little thing. And poor you, too.
My real advice is: find out what's going on. Is it just an adjustment thing, which will pass? Or could he be being bullied (which DOES happen in kindergarten, and plenty of it)?
Sit your son down, give him a big hug, and tell him, "I need to know why you don't want to go to school. If I understand why, then I can help, but I need you to tell me."
Then, once you understand the problem, you have options: You can help him adjust, you can talk to the teacher or school officials, or in a worst-case scenario, you can look for other school options. But until you understand the root of the problem, you don't have the tools to decide.
Sounds not ready. Kindergarten is the new first grade. I will not go through it like I did with my other child, but will wait until the child is 6 this time around. Otherwise it's just too much for the kid.
