My Mom Thinks My Daughter Is Autistic.

Dear D., I have a grandson that is Autistic and the one thing you want to look out for if she has eye contact with you when you are talking to her.Any other questions you can e-mail me at ____@____.com my mane is D. thanks

Well, what do you think?? If you think you're mother is off her rocker,just tell her, the Dr. says she's fine and we're not talking about it anymore! I have a pushy mother too.... And if you think there might be something, get a second opinion! Good Luck!!

I can understand how you feel. My mother in law worked for University Hospital (back then General Hospital) when my husband and I first married. When we had our first child she always found something wrong with him. A mole was skin cancer. Tripping on his own feet meant a disorder. I just always told her I would check it out then I forgot it.
Just tell her your child's doctor was not concerned at this time.

Dear D.: if yor pediatrition doesn't seem to think that there is anything wrong with your daughter,then their probably isn't, unless you have noticed a difference in her behaviour, and though you would hate to lose your daycare provider, let your mom remember that this is your child not hers, chances are with herseeing alot of different types of behaviors she may be that more cautious of her grandchildren, so speak with her about it,she just wants wha is best, only you know what is best for your children and hope she understands.
Sincerely,

Joni C

A little bit about Me: I have two children, agirl that is 24 and my son is 16, he has a learning disability called aspergers, it is a cross between autism and add

Autism is a really growing problem. I know it's hard to have people butt in to raising your children, however, because it is happening more and more I would at least get a second opinion. They're also attributing autism to chemicals in the home. This is something all people should consider for the health of the family autism or not. God bless and good luck
T.

www.livetotalwellness.com/T.
www.workathomeunited.com/T.

good luck. i know how you feel.i have a four year old and he is deaf and has an underdeveloped frontal lobe. so he may be four in a lot of ways but he is 2-3 in others.. well anyways, every one likes giving me advise about how he is this or that.( my son is very active and curious and does not stop) i have taken him to a developental pediatrician and a developemental pshyc. alot of people told me he acts like he has autism. now there are a couple of things he does that is on the spectrum. but both doc said he does not have autism. they said he is just a curious little boy. so i know how ya feel. when people say things now i say no he does not and you can see they have that alll shes in denial look. but then i continue to say the doctors he has seen and what they said and they then they stop. i know when it was just my pediatrician saying it it would get the well he is not specialized in it. so maybe you should take him to a developemental pediatriction. and even though you don't think your child has it. it is a dr. and you can say well i checked it out and she does not. I love mine. her name is dr wiley at childrens. and she is sooo great. i leave there thinking my child is great. She tells me things that he needs to work on but also things that he is doing great. but that way you don't have to hurt her feeling. other than that you can only say....hmm i will take that in to consideration, and let it go. good luck.

I went through this with my family in respect to my son. My son isn't autistic, but it turns out he does have a sensory processing disorder that my pediatrician didn't catch (and, I feel like I have a great pediatrician!). Since your daughter is young enough, and it would probably give your mom some piece of mind, I would call First Steps and have your daughter evaluated. They do it for free, come to your home (or your mom's home if it would make her feel like some progress was being made toward having her concerns addressed) and do a super easy, "play" type evaluation. They can tell you whether your baby has delays that they are concerned about. If she does, great, she'll get help early. If she doesn't, great, it'll shut your mamma up and cost you nothing. I live in Louisville too, so here's the number for 1st steps...(and, I'm not affiliated with them in any way) ###-###-####. I am SO GLAD I had my boy evaluated because I thought he was just a quirky, cute little boy. He IS a cute, quirky little boy with a little extra something that needed a little fine tuning. Hope this helps you out. Feel free to e-mail me directly if you have Q'____@____.com

The Mothers Center of greater Toledo just had a speaker on Thursday 1/31 on Life with Autism. The speaker was Linell Weinberg, Executive Director of the Autism Society of Northwest Ohio. She had a fabulous presentation! She is soo knowledgeable and has a 26 yr old daughter that wasn't diagnosed with Autism until she was 18 yrs old.
If I were you, I would just contact her and talk to her, or even have a 3 way conversation with your MIL and her. SO that it puts yours and your MIL questions to rest.
or contact Tammy below. It is essential to get diagnosed early! I know it is a scary thing but if it is diagnosed early then the child can get the therapy needed! Remember there is a huge spectrum of Autism too from High functioning to low functioning!
Good luck! L.

Hello I have a daughter who is 7 now when she was born she was a month early and weighed in at 4lbs. 1.2oz. she was so tiny as time went on and she wasn't proressing and hitting milestones family members suggested she might be autistic and in my outrage at this I lashed out and didn't listen. my Daughter did not start talking until she was 5 yrs. old and I didn't get her potty trained until she was 5 yrs old it was very frustrating, when my daughter Dakota started school and had to go in for her physical they found out she had Lead Poison and a normal level for children is 9 and she was at a 64\65. at 70 it can cause severe mental retardation and or death, the Lead came from my mothers house we had been living in and it was over 100 yrs old and my daughter did indeed have a problem she has been chelated twice and she is in a disabled class but she has come so far from where she was she talks so much now I can't get her to be quiet and she loves learning she is in 2nd grade and meeting her IEP requirements with good progress. I didn't listen to others who had worked around disabled children and I let it go on and could have possibly lost my child, don't ever look at someone else's advice as critisizing or interfering check into it and see there might be something there that at her age that can be caught early and corrected. I took my daughter and had her checked out for aitism and angel man syndrome and she didn't have those things it was the Lead. Please mother to mother don't disregard check it out you may not find anything and you can say you checked or you may end up in a situation like mine. sincerely,N.

If there is even a doubt in your mind that there may be a delay I highly recommend contacting the Help Me Grow program. This is for ALL children in Ohio and is not just for low income families. My daughter was very developmentally delayed at nine months old (showing little emotion, was not sitting up or rolling over, etc.) our pediatrician told us not to worry she was normal. I felt that was not the case and had many friends and family tell me they believed her to be autistic. I did my research and found out about Help Me Grow thru a Physical Therapist friend.

My daughter received speech, occupational and physical therapy until she was three years old at little or no cost to us. She is now a normal, happy, thriving three year old that has advanced thru therapy and is now at the level of a 4 year old.

If nothing else, have an eval done to prove your mother wrong and put her mind at ease.

Goodness! My mom also did medical billing and worked at hospitals and doctor's offices most of her working life. She always knows more than any doctor or specialist we see. And, like your mom, has diagnosed my children with things that aren't real. I finally had to tell her that I wanted her to stop bringing up conditions that were scary, etc., because they upset us and we see the pediatrician on a regular basis and everything is fine. She finally settled down (but didn't stop). I don't think your mom will stop watching your children because you tell her to back off, especially if you tell her that hearing such things are NOT beneficial for you and upsetting. But best of luck! It's hard having a mother who (thinks she) knows everything and won't hush on it! :P

What exactly is Maddie doing/not doing that has Mom thinking this way? Can you do some research on the "symptoms" that she is seeing to debunk her thoughts? I know your mom is just worried about her grandbaby and may not see that she is in fact driving you bananas, but that's what grandmothers are there for. Make another appointment with your doc and bring your mom along so she can bring up her fears with the peditrician. That may help to alleviate the problem.

If there is any doubt, have her evaluated. My son is 2 years old and he is autistic. I had a pediatric neurologist tell me to come back in 6 months. My son was an obvious autistic case. I went with my gut and got help. Call Eastgate/Help Me Grow. Their services are free!!!! Our tax dollars at work! I can't say enough about the program. They will come out and evaluate and then you will know. It is a hard phone call to make, but what do you have to lose!!!
Vote for the MRDD levy!
C. F

I would just (as nicely as possible) tell your mother that you discussed her concerns with your doctor, and they didn't feel there is any concerns, and they will keep an eye on her. I would also tell her that you appreciate her concern with your daughter's well being.
GOod luck!

I am on the board of the University of Louisville's STAR program for autism. If you want your child tested and have an answer once and for all, then this would be the place to go. Then you could tell your mom you have been to the best and here is the definitive answer. Contact me for more info if you need help or someone to talk ____@____.com

I know "DRs" usually are on top of things, but I would not dismiss your mother if she has genuine concern. Have you noticed anything yourself that may ? your daughter's developement? I only ask this because a close friend's little girl had some trouble with speech and developement - it took her mom requesting 3 dr.s to test her...sure enough she is. Mildly, but enough to receive help at school and need extra therepy out side of school. Sit down and watch her. You don't want your daughter to miss out on early help if she needs it. Have her tested, if she is not autistic, then you showed your mom your value her opinion but have grounds to say "bug -off a bit". If it happens that she is, then you know to get her the halp she will need. Good luck.

I have a 13 yr old son with autism. He was diagnosed at age 4 in Louisville at the Child Evaluation Center. My son's pediatrician said he was highly immature and spoiled. He also said I had nothing to worry about. I'm not saying you should worry but possibly get a second opinion from someone who specializes in autism. Early Intervention is very important. Good Luck and please feel free to email me if you want to talk or have any questions. K.

Do what your heart feels is right. If you truly believe that you daughter is fine, let your mom know. Tell her that you have spoken with the pediatrician about this and the conclusion to which you and the doctor have come. Thank her for being so generous and loving with your daughter and move forward. She may be a little hurt at first, but she'll get over it...

have a second opinion done. If your child is not autistic no loss, but is she is - the sooner she diagnosed the better for you and for a child. Specially now when autistic awareness is so important. Your pediatrician should not laugh at your or your mother's worries but to reassure you by testing the child.

Hi D.,
Sometimes pediatricians miss things. With all the recent hype about Autism, they're making more quicker, accurate diagnoses, but it's hard to identify a child who is mildly on the spectrum in the 10 minutes they're meeting with you. The criteria they're using (at this point is the Diagnostical Statistical Manual IV). http://www.autism-pdd.net/dsm4.html (here's a website where you can view it)
Although every child will have a couple of 'issues' present, if your daughter has one or more 'issues' from each category, I'd be attentive and make another appointment w/ the pediatrician, bring your copy of the DSM IV with you, showing which areas you see troubles in.
If your daughter doesn't exibit any of the characteristics, than rest easy--and show your mother! :)

I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions--I'm credentialed in Autism and have had extensive training in diagnosis/therapy.

Good Luck...and remember, early intervention is the key!

M.

Just tell her flat out that you've brought it up with the doctor, and they've said there is no worry at this time.

I have a daughter that IS autistic- and I've been dealing with this with her younger siblings for years. There's are definite signs at that age, and if your doctor isn't concerned, then I'd wait until she's older to see if the behavior changes. Because the oldest in my brood is Autistic, the others are screened yearly at every developmental check-up... and neither of them are autistic.

Besides, this is a problem that she will be screened for at EVERY well-child appointment until she hits about ten. Not to mention screened at school, at day care and anywhere else where autism needs to be caught early.

Autism is a very tricky thing to diagnose. My brother has Aspergers Syndrome (also known as Autism-Lite). He was never diagnosed nor treated, but has made a good life for himself with a wife and friends that he has had for decades. There is a website called, I believe, www.autismspeaks.com. They have questions that you can ask yourself regarding your daughter's behaviour. Some children just need more time to develop that others. On the other hand, if she stops behaviours like speaking, look you in the eye, or wanting hugs or any kind of touch, then I definitely would have your dear daughter screened.

Ask why mom thinks she is autistic. Has she noticed something that maybe you and the doc haven't? Don't sweep mom's opinion under the rug just because she isn't "licensed". Ask her to explain her reasoning, and then seek a second opinion from another doctor. The fact that your doc laughed it off should be a red flag.

A couple of things. I have a MIL who also likes to think she is licensed in everything. I have a severely disabled son, whom she doesn't really have much to do with, however, she will certainly give her input WHENEVER she thinks I want it. I just let her say what she has to say, pretend I am listening but know inside that I really don't care. My sister has a son who is slightly autistic and her Dr has said it is hard to diagnose autism in such small children (he is only 3), especially if it is slight. Just tell your mom that your daughter has a pediatrician and you spoke to her dr about it and you guys aren't ready to make any diagnosis yet. Really, does it matter what she has to say, just let her say it, don't get mad because it will only drive YOU crazy (believe me, I have already been down that road).
Good Luck!

I think I would worry more about what signs your daughter is showing and researching them than getting rid of 2nd Ped. My daughter had ear problems and showed several symptoms of autism and no one but me saw or believed them. So it was up to me to research and insist on being evaluated and getting to the root cause. I would love to have a 2nd. ped. You see them everyday and don't always see the changes going on that someone who only sees them a couple of days a week.
Good luck and don't get rid of grandma!

I am not in the situation and I have never met your child so obviously I can't make a real educated comment but.... My entire family are all doctors, and I am in school to become a doctor as well... and your medical health as well as that of your family, is YOUR responsibility! Not all doctors are the same, some are great, some suck, and some are in between! Doctors can be and are a lot of times wrong! Now I do not know your doc, and he may be right and everything is fine, and your mom is just over reacting, but it is vital that autism is diagnosed early in order to have therapy asap, yet at the same time a lot of pediatricains are real slow and hesitant to diagnose it. I would suggest maybe if you think it is at all plausible, to get a second opinion, maybe also look for a doc that specializes in autism.

As a dad to an autistic boy, i would encourage you to find out for 2 solid reasons. #1 Your sanity and for #2 early intervention. Just because autism strikes more boys than girls does not eliminate that possibility.

My wife and i have found out the hard way that a Dr. in front of a name doesn't mean they listen.

I am totally sympathetic with you over the well intentioned Mother, so to ease you internal and external stressers have an early intervention specialist of some kind or stripe assess your beautiful little lady.

I was in denial for months, and now watch family movies and kick my own ass. My wife and i are raising 3 young men ages 13.5, 12 and 10.5. My littlest is autistic and we have found him resources through luck, help and my wifes diligence.

I hope and pray that your mom is overly anxious for nothing and that this will just be a sideline story in years to come.

You Rock!

I think you should take your mom to a checkup with you and ask the doctor about it with her there so she can see that the doctor isn't concerned.

My question is WHY does mom think your daughter is autistic? What specific "signals" does your mom think she is seeing?