My Husband Wants a Dog! (I Don't)

Updated on August 06, 2008
A.B. asks from Morgantown, WV
31 answers

OK so DH wants a dog, a big to medium one, nonetheless, and I don't. He wants a companion to walk and help him exercise (force him to). He wants a pet for the kids to grow up with. I don't want one because DH works all day so it would end up being me who takes care of it and has to clean up after it and train it. I have no time for this, 5 kids, and a house are enough to take care of let alone a new pet. If we already had one and it was already part of the family etc.. that's different. But to have a new pet to raise along with a 9, 6, 5, 3, and 10month old and all the activity associated with it that's too much for me. The kids of course really want one too, so I'm the bad guy. But it's not up to them to feed it, I can make it their job but it's ultimately up to us to make sure it was done. I say wait till the youngest is 3 or 4 and then the oldest will be a teen and the 2nd boy will be around 9-10. But no one wants to wait that long. What has been your experiences with new pets? We're kind of settled on waiting right now, but I'm afraid the subject will come up sooner than later! I'm not a perfectionist, I just don't want any extra jobs on top of everything else thats going on! Thanks for your help!

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So What Happened?

Well, thank you for all your insights! Just to update you all and respond to some of your thoughts: my DH and I talk about this without the kids around so we put up a united front with the kids. We all agreed to wait at least for now. I think our ideas about waiting differ right now especially as soon as it gets warm and the baby seems older and less work (a 1 year old less work??!!). BUT with the temps being what they have been my point has been made I just don't know if it will last! My dh is so helpful and a hands on dad with the kids. He would take the majority of the responsibility but again he works all day and I'm home so during that time the dog would be my responsibility of course. The kids are great at doing thier chores they all have something(s) to do. I have a chart and everything. But here's my theory about kids and chores: you either do it yourself and the kids grow up not being cabable adults but its less work on you ultimately on the other hand you give them responsibility and they grow up being good adults, BUT its 3x as much work for you, because you have to issue the directive, TEACH them how to do it, and then make sure they do it! Of course we have to pick the latter we don't want dependent lazy adult children living with us till they are 30, but for a few years its hard work for the parents!!! I think we're doing ok maintaining things right now, but I don't want to add more stuff, especially a living thing. We are done with kids and now I want things to settle down. But I know you all understand that. QUESTION: for those of you dog people what type of dog would be good for us? We have little/no yard but a wonderful neighborhood in which to walk it (we have to pick up poop) and a house that fits us but not much more. Active lifestyle but going here and there not home all the time. let me know! Any advice would be appreciated!
A.

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

My advice is that you get the dog. Look for an adult dog that is already trained and good with kids. Puppies are a lot of work.

The reason that I say that you should get the dog is because animals teach children responsibility, caring, and unconditional love. Children need to learn to cherish life, to respect it, and that with life comes responsibility.

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K.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, We have a great "big" dog and although I would not trade him for anything now, I will tell you if you have the choice, wait. I am the one who takes care of him and cleans up after him, etc. Another thing to consider is having to take him for a walk with the kids, can you keep trach of all of them while you walk? Mine is so strong, I can't walk him by myself and it is hard to watch him look at all the other doggies walking while he is stuck inside. I will suggest that you get a fence if you do not have one, so at least the dog can run around outside and play with the kids and get his exersize if you do not have time to walk him. Believe me, being the bad guy now is a a lot easier that having to try and suggest finding a new home later on when you realize it is too much for you to handle, and the kids are really attached. Don't feel bad, a dog is a LOT of work. K

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi A., Wow you must be busy ! I have a suggestion which may work as it did for my sis in law. Do you have friends who have a dog? If you can have them leave the dog with you for a weekend when they are away. Put the entire responsibility on the kids and hubby. They may see it is a lot of hard work and effort in it.That worked for my nieces who were 9 and 5 at that time. I do have a dog and completely agree that it will be too much responsibility for you on the top of everything. Hope things work out
A.

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Why would you want to get a dog? Because in exchange for getting a dog, they are all going to pick up some slack for you. Your nine-year-old is old enough to take all the childrens' dirty laundry and put it in the laundry room for you. And he's old enough to put clean childrens' laundry away properly. He's old enough to be the one to feed the dog. You will have to tell him to do all of these things. He can also let the dog out into the backyard and let him back in. You will have to tell him to do this, every time, but by the time he is 12 or 13 he will do it without asking, but only if you take it for granted that he must do this, like getting dressed in the morning. He can also clear the table. He will also have to make his bed every morning and put his toys away. You will probably have to show him how to clean his room, one corner at a time. But he is going to have to do it to show he's responsible enough for a dog.

The six year old can put the clean towels in the linen closet if they're kept low enough. She can also set the dinner table. She can put her toys in a toy box and pick up her room and make her bed.

The three year old can use a feather duster and pick up the toys in the family room and put them in a toy box.

Your husband is going to empty the trash every day. He is going to be the one to clean the toilet in the master bathroom. If he wants a dog, he is going to do these extra chores. Period. Or you pick other chores you think he can do that you hate. One or two chores.

This is what they're going to have to do for six weeks to earn a dog (by that time it will be a habit). Not that they stop doing it after six weeks. It's that you privately are going to tell yourself that they have to do these chores for six weeks without arguing before you will consider a dog. Tell them they have to earn a dog by showing increased responsibility at home before you get the dog, not after.

If they refuse to pick up the slack for you, you can say, "Look, the dog adds work. You guys won't even do your own chores."

If you have a fenced-in yard, half the work is already done. Then you need a crate. For the first couple of weeks, you will be supervising a puppy (gate the kitchen, in case of "accidents"), and putting the puppy outside every half hour. When she pees or poops outside, praise her and give her a treat. Give her attention.

As for breed, that depends on the size of your yard. We got two dogs because border collies can be high-strung and they make it their job to keep each other in line. And if the cat slips out they shepherd her back in. But I wouldn't recommend a border collie for everyone. Just don't get a beagle. They're small but they're definitely outdoor dogs for folks who are always outside.

Some of your smaller dogs are pretty stubborn, like Dachshunds.

Newfoundlands are great dogs, although they drool and shed.

You are right, though, the kids are too young to be relied upon to take care of an animal. That's simply not realistic, unless you live on a working farm.

Who walks the dogs? Me. About 15-20 miles a week (except THIS week! Brrr!). It does wonders for their behavior. Even though they poop in the back yard, they still need a walk. It also does wonders for the waistline.

It really adds to the joy in the house to have pets.

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S.K.

answers from Allentown on

Whatever you decide, please don't get a dog with the thought that you can "find a new home for it" if the kids won't take care of it. What is that teaching them? A pet is a living thing--not an extra-curricular activity that they can quit once it isn't fun or interesting anymore. Of course there are situations when it is necessary to find a new home for a pet--allergies, aggression, relocation, etc.--but it shouldn't be a built-in "out" for the family if things get too tough.

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Sorry to say but, I vote YES for a dog. I think every child should grow up with the love and friendship a dog has to offer. I also look at a dog as a built in security system. You could have a 5 pound or 75 pound dog. It is proven that "bad guys" will go to the house that doesn't have any dog-even a little yippy thing. Don't get one until late spring/early summer. Nothnig is worse than standing outside with a 10 week old puppy trying to pee in zero degrees!
Now, I HIGHLY recommend getting an adult dog 1 to 3 years old from a rescue organization or shelter. Most come trainned to some degree and now "piddlle" on the carpet to clean. Rescue organiztions can match up the ideal dog to your family.
Now,will having a dog really make your husband walk him???? Only time will tell.
Good Luck!!

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R.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A.
I'm exhausted just reading about all you have to do! It's a shame that you're the bad guy - this should have been something discussed b/w the two of you w/o the kids to avoid this - now if your husband says no then the kids still blame you - I don't blame you one bit - it's so much extra work - we have 2 cats and 3 fish - the cats came before the kids - I love them but it is another worry, esp when we want to go away - and they don't involve as much as a dog - I remember my mom not wanting more pets and it took maturity to understand that not only did she have to do the work but they and she got most attached to each other and it was hard on her - I'm also thinking - your husband wants a companion?!!!!!??? it seems he has lots of wonderful companionship right there - assuming he's an involved dad - having said all of that - what if you waited until summer - the kids will be off school and he can take some vacation to stay home and help w/ training the puppy - tell them it's on them and don't let them slack - or what about a slightly older dog that's alraedy trained - so many of them need good homes and are good w/ kids - good luck - please post so we know what happens!

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I always wanted to have a big dog and my husband didn't but since i was the one who i to care for it with two kids at the time i didn't think i could handle it so we settled on a jack russel terrier which can be easiely crate train then after we got the dog and adjusted i got pregnant with my third but the dog really isn't any more work but i got a dog that fit are families personality the dog is active but as long as it gets played with it is lazy...so with a five and a three year old to wear it out becasue it basicly runs around with them it also rest when they do ....the only problem i have with my dog is that he doesn't think my husband should sit next to me or hug me or anything.....

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T.Y.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi, We have a boxer that we brought home as soon as I found out that I was pregnant. I had to deal with the cleanup of the kennel when we would come home from work and training the dog b/c I wanted the dog. At the time I was not a happy camper but now that she is 8 years old and I think about it, it was so worth it. You have alot more to handle than I did but your children are definitely old enough to help you. Children don't take responsibility b/c we don't make them. The children in my son's school (Montessori school) take care of their pets starting at preschool age. They literally do everything even helping to clean out the cages. I think that you should sit down and talk with them and see what responsibilities they are willing to take on. Ultimately it is up to you to stick to your guns and make them do it b/c if you falter at all you will end up with it. Make them show you they are responsible by taking on other chores before you get the dog so that it will be easier to get them to do it when you have the dog. Or borrow someone's dog for a week or weekend and show them how it would be to have a dog and all the responsibilities it involves. My dog is my son's best friend, they grew up together. They are so close and I can't even imagine life without her here but it's not always easy. My son is now 7 years old and he helps me feed and water the dog. He also lets her in and out of the house when she has to go. You can even enlist your 5 and 6 year olds to help if you make it easier for them by giving them a smaller container of food to work with and a small cup to fill the water bowl with for example. Let them practice pouring water from one container to the next without spilling in the tub for now. They can do it if you let them. Kids can be responsible if you expect them to. I hope this helps.

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N.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello. I have 18-month old twins and also a six-year old labrador retreiver. We've had the dog since she was 8 weeks old and, until the kids came, she was the joy of our life. Well, the kids are here and she is STILL a joy of our life! I think dogs can be wonderful parts of the family and a wonderful way for children to learn about pets and the responsibility of taking care of them. So, I say...go for it! HOWEVER, I would suggest you rescue an adult dog from the SPCA or a friend. Don't get a puppy...its like having another baby (except they don't wear diapers so you will have poop and pee all over the house). Get an adult dog that is trained and specifically described as being good with children and families. I think you will end up really enjoying it. The unconditional love of having a good dog is worth the work! Hope it works out and hats off to you...five kids, wow!

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J.H.

answers from Allentown on

Well, I went through the same thing, but I only have one child. I can't imagine it times 5. My daughter was about 1 when my husband convinced me that we needed a dog. We went to a shelter and adopted a very nice lab mix that was about a year old. She was somewhat trained and fully housebroken. But my husband works all day and I had the hardest time taking the dog out while watching my daughter. The dog just ended up sitting outside alone all day. My daughter loved her, but didn't like the constant licking and sniffing. Dogs want just as much attention as children, and it is like adopting a new person into the family. I began to resent the dog for wanting so much of my attention, and my husband didn't want to be bothered taking her for walks after the newness rubbed off. So the poor dog just sat around. Eventually, she started trying to get attention anyway she could, even if it meant laying on our daughter or pushing her around. I was beginning to fear that she would start biting or attacking her. After about 9 months, my husband finally realized that it wasn't fair to me, our daughter, or to the dog. She was constantly being pushed away from my daughter and myself, and the time that my husband was home he wanted to spend with us, not be bothered to walk or play ball with a dog. So we gave her away to a friend of ours that we knew had more time to spend with her. It was very hard to do, especially since she is a very good dog, but we still see her when we visit and she is much happier. I totally agree with you about waiting until your youngest is older. My daughter thought the dog was great, but a 45-50 pound dog running at a 20 pound kid that is trying to master walking always ends in tears. My recommendation is that if you can't talk your husband into waiting that you at least get an older dog (I'd say at least 3) with a very gentle, easygoing nature. That way you won't have the puppy phase of chewing and jumping. Little kids don't appreciate being knocked over by a big excited dog. Also, a lot of dogs don't like when kids crawl all over them and pull their ears and tails, which a 10 month old certainly would do. Make sure you talk to the people you are adopting from and get a good idea of the dog's temperment. That could avoid your child being injured without knowing he is provoking the dog. Good luck.

Also... we have 2 cats that are wonderful. Perhaps you could compromise with that. Your husband might be a tough sell, but the kids would probably be excited. Cats are a lot less work and generally just do their own thing. It could be a trial for the kids to see if the older one would help out with feeding and playing with it. If that works out you could talk about a dog again in year or two.

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S.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.. I know I'm coming in on this a little late, but it's just the opposite in my household. I want a dog and my husband didn't/doesn't. When I was growning up, I'm 40 now LOL, we always had a dog and I think that's why I feel the way I do about dogs. It wasn't a house dog or anything like that; I actually can't even remember what type she was and her name was Pup Pup. But my husband never had a dog when he was growing up as I recall. Anyway, we now have 4 kids under our roof - if you still consider a 21 year old a kid - and a few years back, I went against what he said and got my son, then 7, a yorkie when we were stationed in Germany. As long as he was inside with the dog it was fine - he carried him, Duke, around in his coat pocket and played endlessly with him. But as soon as it was time to go outside and walk him, that's when the trouble came and can you imagine a small MALE dog in Baumholder with snow on the ground and trying to pea and poop. Well, the dog was a lot of work; vet bill when my son broke his foot twirling him in the air, brass table leg ruined from pea, pea under my sons bed, pea on my runner etc...it was a nightmare. My husband didn't want the dog at first but eventually fell in love with Duke and ran and played to know end with him. We sold him before we left and 4 years later the kids wanted another dog, and me too, so here I go on line searching for dogs. We ended up with a beautiful coal black cocker spaniel named Sasha. The same old routine again - peaing in the house, kids didn't want to walk her or even feed her and once again my husband played and ran with her in the house until they both were tired. We gave her away because we were PCS'ing again. Now I want another dog and I know it will be ultimately my responsibility which I don't mind. I see the neighbors with dogs and everyone walking their dogs and I oooh and aaah over them. Eventually, I'll get one but for you and knowing how many kids you have and the responsibility that goes with the dog, I definitely would wait. Dogs are wonderful to have IF they are trained and you don't have to worry about cleaning up behind them constantly. I said I'm going to me another small house broken dog this time. Good luck with your dog search when you do start looking.

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D.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

My goodness you do have your hands full! I say, if it came up again, or you could start it now. That if they all want a dog, then they all need to start doing a little extra around the house now, to prove that they can take care of it. Because you need proof. W/O the whinning about it. Because if that starts, then it proves to you that they will complain about feeding the dog, and cleaning up the yard after it. Maybe if the older kidos can prove to you that they can be responcible to take good care of the dog, all aspects of it. Then you "mite" let that happen in the summer time. That way, they can take it outside to potty train during the day time every couple of hours, and you can still tend to the younger ones, and the house.
My friend is now on her 7th pregnancy. So I know just how hard your days can be. Constant non-stop. Maybe even your hubby could take up the poopoo scooping after he comes home from work.

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M.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Hello,

I understand your dilema. My husband and I have two children (a 3 year old boy and an 8 month old girl) We have two dogs and two cats and on top of that I do in home daycare. I am not going to lie, it is alot of work. They need as much of attention as children do. I LOVE my dogs. We got them when I was 8 months pregnant with our son. I guess it was the hormones, who knows why I decided that was the right time to get 2 puppies???!! :-) If I had it to do over I would probably have waited. My son, now 3, LOVES them but he would love them just as much if he got them when he was older. I would definitely wait until the family is ready, not just your husband and kids! Ultimatley it would be bad for the dog if there isn't enough time for them to be taken care of properly. Good Luck with your situation!

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

ok i can tell you that my doctor told me that kids raised with pets are less likely to become allergic leter on in life. I had a dog that we just had to put down last may. i atill have a cat. As for it being all on you yes but the older kids can help and Hubby can "walk" every morning and night!LoL it is to cold for you!as for a breed go lab or shepard they are very good with kids and make good house dogs and you will not need a security system!! I had a shepard. i hope i helped a little.

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M.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yeah, how much does he help with those five kids and the house.. holy cow you have a lot going on. I thought i wanted a dog, got one, sooo cute, then it pooped in the house, in it's cage, the kids NEVER wanted to walk it and complained about it.. i had to clean the cage, the poop outside, buy the food, and it barked when i was not right next to it, ug.. what a nightmare!!!
i finally had to get rid of the dog. maybe borrow a friends dog for a week when they go on vacation to see how it goes? a trial run. and for the record, your husband to have a dog force him to workout..lol..i love it.. who is he kidding.. as soon as that snow flies... he is not so much going to want to walk the dog.. and let me tell you, the first time the kids come in with dog poop stuck inside the crevaces of the gym shoes... you can see where i am coming from.. sorry, but you are the ruler of the house and will get stuck doing it.. i think 5 kids.. you have done your part...
good luck...oh and it is like $160 round trip to fly a dog on a plane..

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W.Y.

answers from Scranton on

ok, here's the way to do it. We wanted a dog too, a big one, but I would be the one doing most of the work. I adopted a German shepherd..3 yrs old..house broken , basic training done. They have dogs of all ages, tested for personality, and match to your family. Puppies are too hard, I know, I have one now...love her, but house-breaking, chewing...good lord! I'll send you the link, you can browse. They charge, but all vet services including fixing is included. My puppy cost less, but she came from a pound, sick and got everyone else sick, and I had to pay for spay.
http://www.brightstargsd.org/

good luck! W.

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M.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Hey A.,
I have a two boys a three and a half year old and a 21 month old. We got a dog this past Aug. Her name is Ruby and she is a Red Bone Coon Hound. She was 10weeks when we got her and yes she need potty trained and all. Argh!
My advice to you would be to wait until everyone is out of diapers!!!lol Ruby follows Nigel around if he is poppy and tries to get what she isn't suppose to get. YUCK!
In your position (unless you are Wonder Woman which you very well could be taking on five children a house and a husband)I would definitely wait. Or perhaps adopted a older dog that is already potty trained.

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T.

answers from Allentown on

We have a Golden that we got right after we were married. Thw first year was hard but after that it is easy. If I were in your shoes I would say NO! Wait until the baby is at least 3 years old then get a dog. It is very hard with kids and a baby you really don't need a dog too. If you wait until the baby is 3 years old all the kids can enjoy the new puppy and the older kids (husband included) can do all the work needed to keep a pet. If your husband needs a walking buddy take one of the kids with him, the little ones would work great in a running stroller. Good Luck!

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T.O.

answers from York on

I completely understand how you feel...but honestly...I'd take the being a bad person over having a dog. About 3 weeks ago my fiancee decided he wanted to get a dog, we bought a 8 week old Great Pyreneese they get to be around 200 pounds, they are huge dogs. I'm home all day, we just bought a house in December, so I have a lot of cleaning to do everyday, laundry to do for 5 people. We have a 9 year old, a 6 year old and 4 month old, all girls. They "promised" they would help take care of the dog YEAH RIGHT...I have done everything, training him to go outside, cleaning up after him when he goes in the house, trying to teach him not to bite, to be gentle with the baby, everything has become my responsibility. NOT FUN, If I could go back, I'd say no. I didn't want a dog, but I didn't want to be the "bad person" but if I could..I'd be the bad person...Things in my house aren't fun anymore. All I do is clean up after everyone, I get no help what so ever with anything, not even the dog and the 2 cats we have. I'm home all day as well and trying to make sure the dog doesn't hurt the baby or tear the house apart. I don't get much done anymore. Between that and walking to and from school two times a day to get the kids....my advice....be the bad guy with this one....only because I'm experienceing it right now....our kids aren't old enough to be responsible for a dog..let alone clean up after themselves...they don't do any of it...they refuse to clean...to do anything..its a battle to get them to take showers before school.....feel free to email me if you want to chat about this....

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T.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

I was where you are 4 years ago. My family ( at the time, husband and daughter) really wanted a dog. I DID NOT (and still don't). I foolishly allowed my husband to talk me into it, with the expected..... I'll take care of it, play with it, etc. Boy do I regret it. Don't get me wrong, the dog is a good one for the most part. I am not a dog lover, though. My husband works long hours, and the kids are too small for the responsibility.... Well, you know who gets stuck with all the work. That's right, me. So, I urge you to think long and hard.... Stick to your guns. If you aren't ready now, don't cave in, especially if you know the brunt of the responsibility is going to be yours. Wait until you are ready. That's the only advice I have. Good luck.

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M.L.

answers from Washington DC on

You know how it goes. You will be ultimately the one responsible for it, and right now you have so much on your plate. Put your foot down and say absolutely no, not right now, not until the kids are all in school. We have the opposite problem, I am the one that wants a dog, a Mastiff (rather large) nonetheless, but I understand that it is another responsibility, a big one, and I am not ready to take it on just yet, so we are waiting. No matter what they say, we will walk it, feed it, groom it, care for it, we swear!!!!if you are not willing to, don't get the dog yet, it's just not fair. Good luck. You should show your husband all the responses, so that he can maybe reconsider until the whole family is ready to welcome an additional member.

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R.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I AM A MOM OF 6 KIDS 9,8,6,4,3, 7 MONTHS. THEY WANTED A DOG AND WE ALREADY HAVE A CAT I GAVE IN. SO FAR IT HAS BEEN OK THEY WILL HELP OUT AND I TOLD THEM IF THEY DONT I WILL FIND IT A HOME WHERE IT WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF. THEY HAVE BEEN PRETTY GOOD AT HELPING. IT IS HECTIC WITH THE KIDS, A HOUSE AND EVERYTHING ELSE BUT IT IS A GOOD THING TOO. MY HUBBY WORKS ALOT TOO SO ITS MOSTLY JUST ME,I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I ALSO THINK THAT HAVING IT GROW WITH YOUR CHILDREN IS GOOD TOO. OUR PUPPY WAS 16 WEEKS WHEN WE GOT HER. I HOPE YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT IS BEST FOR YALL.

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D.C.

answers from Harrisburg on

I say get the dog. Your kids can help with it, they're old enough. The nine year old can be responisible for walking it after school and the 6 and 5 year old can feed it in the morning and evenings. You'll have to remind them but they'll get into the habit of it and it'll be good for them. Make it understood that as soon as the dog becomes your responsibly then you're getting rid of it.

Get a medium sized mutt that two or three years old from the SPCA. Specify tha tyou want something good with children and already mostly housebroken. They'll be happy to help you becuase they're all about fiunding animals homes.

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J.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

In my house it was the other way around. We already had pets and I brought home a puppy on a whim because it needed a home. Though I love it to death, I wish I would have reconsidered. I only have one child, a ten month old daughter, and taking care of animals is way to much work for me right now. I think that waiting a while is a good idea. And as far as a pet forcing someone to workout....that usually doesn't happen most times. Been there and done that too. All I can suggest is that you have your husband read the responses here to see if it will help him understand where you are coming from. As far as the kids, start them out with something small and less demanding, and tell them if they keep doing a good job, they might get a dog some day (I had gerbils and my sister had fish....we never got the dog, but we kinda forgot about it as we got older and interested in other things).
Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Altoona on

Whenever they decide that they are not waiting any longer for a dog, please consider adopting a shelter dog. Maybe one that is about 3 years old. Then, you will know the exact size the dog will be and there's a pretty good chance it will already be trained. Most shelters even provide backround info on the dog like how well it deals with children and other pets. I have a 21 month old, a 3 month old (and could possibly be pregnant again), a pitt bull/terrier mix, a siberian husky, and a cat. I couldn't imagine my life without my pets. My husband never liked dogs before we got them and now he would be broken hearted if anything were to happen to them. They really aren't an extreme amount of extra work and with a couple of your kids being a little bit older, they'd love to help. I personally plan on breeding my siberian either this fall or in the spring and will be keeping one of the pups. They are more than just a dog, they become part of the family. To borrow a phrase from a friend of mine, never underestimate the warmth of a cold nose :)

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

A couple of suggestions for you. I have read that kids younger than 6 or 7 are too young to be responsible for a pet, but your 9 year old is the perfect age and your 6 year old could certainly help out. If it comes up again, make sure that the oldest two understand that the dog will be their responsibility when they are home. I have both dogs and cats and a fenced in yard. The dogs are pretty easy, I just toss them out in the back yard several times a day so they can go potty and I free feed so there is always food down. The girls (10 and 9) change the dog's water every morning and make sure the water bowls are full. My son (7) makes sure the cat and dog bowls are full of food and the girls feed the cats their wet food in the evenings. We all scoop and change cat boxes when they get dirty but they are in the bathrooms so that one is easy. You would still have to be responsible when the kids are at school, but if you could fence in your yard, it wouldn't be too bad.

My next suggestion is to go to the pound and get a young dog rather than a puppy. Maybe even go to a rescue and get a greyhound or some other young adult dog. The rescue groups do a good job of determing the personality of the dog so they can help you find one that is good with children and not high-maintenance. A young adult dog or even an older puppy - say 6 months or so will not be as much trouble as a baby puppy.

I think it is doable for you and could be worked so you don't shoulder the whole load. You would have to also have an understanding with your husband that he would be responsible for walks morning and evening.

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J.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I completely understand your concerns. We have a 4 year old english mastiff (very large dog), and a 9 month old daughter. Our dog is a great family member and we couldn't imagine our lives without her, but if we wouldn't have already had her when our daughter was born I don't think we would have a dog right now. They are like having a new baby in the house and really require alot of attention in the beginning. We were cray enough to think of getting another dog after our daughter was born but once she was here we changed our minds. It wouldn't be fair to a dog if it couldn't get the attention it needs and it wouldn't be fair to you with so much on your plate already. I think you are smart to want to wait a few years. Maybe you could suggest to your husband to volunteer at the local animal shelter. They need people to take the dogs on daily walks. That way he can get his fix without all the extra work for you.

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A.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

A.,

In my opinion, the best bered in general, as well as the best for your situation, would be a BOXER. They are medium-sized (Males 65-75lb, Females 50-60lb), they are EXCELLENT with children (we've had boxers exclusively for 12 years now), very tolerant, very loving, very loyal. They do not bark unless necessary, and are 'low maintenance'. They are special in that they do not require bathing...their skin excretes an oil that repels dirt, and similar to a cat, they clean themselves. Our 11 year old boxer has only had 4 baths in her lifetime. They are absolutely awesome - read up on them if you wish, or contact me for more info.

A.

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T.L.

answers from Allentown on

Well take it from someone who let her husband get a dog for those same reasons. We have had Riley our 7 month old golden retriever for four months. And lets just say I have had several nervous breakdowns. I had no idea how much work this dog would be. We don't have a fenced in yard so I would have to bundle up the baby and take Riley out every hour in the very beginning. Luckily we had a warm winter in the beginning . Now it is only once every four hours. Only recently have I actually started liking Riley. I only have one child who is 18 months . I do love animals but timing is everything. If you think you are spread thin now, this is kinda like having another child. Especially if you want a well behaved dog. On the other hand my daughter loves him very much, and my husband is totally in love with him. But I would of been perfectly happy sticking with the cats. Really think how this will effect your mood, because that directly effects your kids. Looking back it seems like everything was a little easier before Riley. But now there is more love in the house.

E.A.

answers from Erie on

Get a couple of cats.

And tell your dh you will be his inspiration to work out. Make him a chart or something, you know, with stickers :)

(obviously this is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but I have four kids and have NO wish to add a dog on top of those responsibilities. Cats are a great compromise. Two are even better than one, not much more work and they keep each other company.)

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