My Four Year Old Is Suffering from Insomnia

Updated on July 11, 2008
D.G. asks from San Diego, CA
4 answers

My four year old has been suffering from insomnia for the past week. I'm not sure what is causing it. Whether he naps or not in the afternoon, he is having difficulty falling asleep. He also tells me that he is having nightmares. I have a two month old son (which by the way I requested advice on this website recently re. constipation -- do appreciate all the input), so I'm not sure if my four year old is still adjusting to having him in our home. Is there anything natural that I can give my son to help him go to sleep? I've tried reassuring him, giving him a night light, singing to him, and having him listen to classical music. My husband even slept in his twin bed with him once. Nothing seems to work. He admits to being tired but just can't sleep. Any suggestions?

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.:
I have a Grandson who has trouble falling to sleep at times. I have found,that when he hasn't had the time to slow down and relax a bit before retiring,he really tosses and turns.If you haven't tried this already, i'd recomend calming him down at least an hour or two before bed, and find something relaxing to do, such as drawing,and make sure he relaxes in a bath,before going to bed. I certainly would exclude naps.Most kids stop those after two years of age.You may want to try a cup of warm green tea. before bed.That may be soothing for him.I'd really pay close attention to what he consumes before bed. Make sure he isn't getting his hands on any sweets,and try to plan dinner early,so he isn't trying to sleep on a over full tummy. Normaly kids have problems like this when there are some drastic changes in the home. If he continues to have problems ,then I'd take him in and ask for something mild to assist him in getting some sleep.the best to you and your darlin son.

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M.V.

answers from Honolulu on

Sometimes a child's nightmares can be so petrifying kids will prohibit their own melatonin release.

I remember having really scary dreams when I was that age. Everything from having to walk through grizzly bear infested fields, to mummies trying to catch me and take all my feelings away, to black shadows stalking our family. I could not handle sleep. The problem was that I felt responsible to find a way to make these creatures in my nightmares stop what they were doing. I think if I would have known that life was about developing self-control rather than floundering to control everyone else I would have been much more successful in my nightmares as well.

As it was, it wasn't until I was much older when an English teacher in highschool taught us about how we could make decisions in our dreams and change their outcomes. Then my nightmares became something I actually looked forward to facing and I would try out different choices in my dreams and totally change them.

My teacher gave this example:

He had a reoccuring nightmare for most of his youth where he was running away from a bad guy. He knew all he had to do was leap over the edge of the bridge to reach the opposite shore to safety, but he always did it too soon and landed in the water instead and woke up mid-drowning. So this nightmare kept happening until one night where he consciously waited until he was at the end of the bridge to leap over the guard rail. Then he safely reached the place where the bad guy couldn't get him. I thought, well if he can be the master of his dreams, well, then I want to too. It kind of opens up a whole new amazing world for us as people. I especially now like to turn the tides of my own dreams and swim under water, fly, or diffuse a tense situation using validation.

However, the whole life approach of focusing on changing one's self is the most powerful lesson I got from all that and it is something one can use every moment of the day, not just in the night while they are sleeping.

Some other ideas:

We have a big library of children's books on tape. If they have a wired evening, the books on tape helps them a lot to wind down. I turn the story on about 15 minutes before lights out and they settle down to listen to it. I have 5 kids and it helps a lot on nights like that.

Another thing to consider is if you and your spouse are ones who enjoy each other's company in the evening or ones that despise it? Generally, if parents' hearts are respecting each other through the day and after bedtime a child tends to sleep better. Of course, that usually means the parents are modeling self-control oriented behavior and can educate their child on it through example and the sharing of wisdom.

Lastly, sometimes kids pick up pin worms and they are too uncomfortable to sleep.

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N.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

My mom used to give me a warm glass of milk to help me sleep when I was little, you could try that. Something that works for me is the humidifier. I discovered that it helped me sleep when I had my sick daughter sleeping in the same room as me. I will occasionally use it when my husband gets stressed at work and is not sleeping well and it helps him too.
~N.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Have you tried the bath wash for bed time, i used thsat with one of my daycare care kids and it worked it relaxed him and at bed time he was able to go right to sleep. I would start any habits lile sleeping in his room or him sleeping in yours that will g=just cause other issues. J.

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