My Daughter Screams When I Feed Her

Put the food down and walk out of the room every time she screams...she eventually will associate her screams with you leaving and hence not feeding her.....she will then stop "making" you leave the room...

you don't. just accept that this is her way of communication until she learns how to talk. Parenting is about patience, so be patient and don't take too long between spoonfuls. :-)

Time outs for 10 months old?!

I would not give her time out for this. For one, she is too young to understand, and two you don't want to associate something negative with meal times. I think maybe she is just too hungry. Try feeding her snacks in between, or move up the feeding times.

Hi. I am a mom of 3. It sounds like your daughter is really letting you know what she wants, which is great. I don't think you can give a 10 month old a time out, though. She is just too young and she really isn't do anything, but, trying to communicate. What I have done with my children is just to say "more", when they screamed or complained for more food. I would say, "more" and then immediately put more food in their mouth, even if they screamed again. I continued to do this every time and after doing this a little while I would say "more" and pause for a second before giving more food and eventually they would say "more". Then you could move onto "more, please". It will not happen right away, but it will happen. Be patient and consistent. Good luck.

do not put her in time out especially in her crib. give her some finger food whilst you are feeding her and also ignore the screaming it will go away. good luck

Dear Demetra,
My son used to do the same thing at the same age. I used to make sure that I had all the food ready to go, because once I started shoveling it in, I couldn't pause. Even my mother was amazed. The situation got better once he started feeding himself. I would cut up his food and place it in front of him. By the time I served the rest of us, he would be finished. So I bought a hard plastic bib with a "trough". Any food that had missed his mouth, he would eat from the trough while the rest of us ate.
He loved food so much that I worried about him becoming overweight. For many years I monitored what he ate and when because he would have eaten anything at anytime. He grew up healthy, active, tall and thin, and became a wonderful athlete and a straight A student. Much of this I contribute to good nutrition. At 21, he still has a good appetite and prefers to eat mostly healthy foods. He was just home for a week and I went food shopping 3 times while he was here; quite unusual for an "empty nester".
So, see what you have to look forward to. Remember, it's easier to deal with a good eater than a picky one, who doesn't want to eat or only eats certain foods. It's also your job to encourage her to eat properly as she grows up, the right foods and at the best times of the day. Too many girls end up gaining weight, going on diets, and even suffer with eating disorders. My daughter is 24, also tall and thin, and the word "diet" has never entered her vocabulary.
Good Luck and remember, it's not a bad problem as long as you direct her on the right course.

Demetra, at her age, she cannot control her emotions, so it is not fair to punish her for not doing so. She obviously is very passionate about her food! She will grow out of the screaming eventually; until then, just feed her food that she can feed herself, so she doesn't have to wait for you to give it to her. At 10 months, there are a lot of foods she can feed herself.

I didn't have time to read the other responses, so forgive me if this is a repeat. She has no idea why she is getting put in her crib. And it may make her associate the crib with punishment. Bad idea.

Teach her the sign for more (http://signingbaby.com/main/?pp_album=main&pp_cat=sig.... My babies were signing back to me by 7 months. There is less reason to scream when baby can communicate. It also buys you another second to get the food on the spoon..."Oh, do you want more?" She'll nod her approval, I'm sure!

Also, if she's a really vivacious eater, have her food all ready for her before you put her in the highchair. She should be able to feed herself quite a bit at ten months.

Good luck!

Hi, sorry I know this is frustrating. I would definitely NOT give her a time out. She doesn't understand. You don't want meal time to become a struggle as she gets older. My daughter used to do this when I didn't get her milk together fast enough. She'd see me preparing it, and she'd have a near meltdown before she got it in her mouth. Instead of battling with her, because there was no way to reason with her about it. I mirrored her, so she understood that I understood what she was going through. I did NOT mock her. I truly told her what I saw, and what I thought she was feeling. So, I said thing like, "wow, you are really thirsty aren't you? you can't wait to get your bottle. I'm not sure I've ever been that thirsty. You seem more thirsty than any baby I've ever met. I'm sorry you're so thirsty. we'll take care of that soon." and so on. My daughter was a little older, but it took about a week of that and it stopped and has never started again. No matter what, she WILL grow out of it.

yes, your daughter is incapable of understanding punishments at this age. i think its fine that you have decided time out will be your course of action in the future, but please do research so you learn the correct way to do it, then be consistent, however, you should not attempt it until she is 2. that is when she will start to understand her actions as well as what you are saying about them.
your daughter is just using her voice. as you said, she doest cry, eats great, doesnt throw things. she sounds perfect! she just is excited. like others said, try giving her finger foods as you are feeding her, try distraction of a toy, music, singing, feed her a bottle a little before so she isnt overly hungry, and get faster. i used to shovel food in my daughters mouth. you can say something like dont scream baby, but she wont understand now, its just a way for you to get in the habit, but again she wont understand for quite some time.
many kids are not the type you want to bring to restaurants for a variety of reasons. this is all common and will pass. disciplin at this age should be for more serious offenses like hitting, but even then "no hitting", followed by distraction is the way to deal with it at this age. good luck!
ETA and no timeouts in the crib when she is old enough!

So it's been a while for me but I used to give my daughter a spoon/fork or access to the food. Was this messy? Absolutely but some of the best pictures came from these times. Anyway, I would also turn on Disney Radio and sing along, she thought this was funny (most of the time) and it would distract her. She was also taught the sign language for more, drink and all done so I knew when she wanted more, was thirsty and to stop the food train or when she was finished.

Hope this helps!
Kristal

Hi,

I went and am still going through the same exact thing. I started feeding solids to my son when he turned 4 months. He LOVES food... If I would take too long to feed him in the begining, He would let out a sharp screech. I started to tell him to say MORE instead of scream, this works most of the time now and he is going to be 15 months. They get so excited and we have probably missed several signs that they are hugry, so of course the spoon can not get into their mouths fast enough. I have also tried to give him little snacks here and there so that he is not starved by meal time.
Trust me I am a first time mom and know how crazy some of the things they do may seem to us, but think of it this way, you can stop at any moment and get yourself something to eat. Your daughter, on the other hand, has to wait for you to get her something. So take it easy, if she wants to scream talk her through it, but try your best to refrain from punishing her, she knows no other way to communicate.
I hope this helps.
Good luck.

My 10 month old Boy does the same thing. I believe that its more about impatience than hunger. And people always say "give him a spoon" well that leaves me picking up a spoon every 2 seconds. And others say "put bites of food on his tray" but he refuses to feed anything small to himself. My baby just loves to yell at his mommy. So any other suggestions?

You don't! She's a baby and does NOT understand! Adjust to it and be thankful she is a good baby.

10 months old is way too young for a time out, imo...she's a baby!

My kids went through that stage and I was consistent in politely saying "shh"..."no screaming". A time out at this age just isn't appropriate.

Your daughter is going through a stage, which my 1 year old is in at the moment...they all go through it...she's being a baby, not bratty...The bratty stage will start soon enough, don't worry! LOL!!!

Enjoy her!!
J.

PS - you should never give a time out in the childs bed, a place that they are supposed to feel secure. When she is old enough, at like 2 or 3 years of age, pick a "naughty step" or the corner, or a certain consistent spot. But not her crib/bed.

I don't think you should give her a timeout for this. Especially if she calms down after the food starts coming. Hang in there it will subside.

You really can't punish a 10 month old baby. She doesn't even know how to process the reason you are doing it. Feed her as fast as you can and talk to her calmly when she screams. Tell her that her food is right there and that you are going as fast as you can. Give her big smiles, and just keep reassuring her that you are feeding her. I know it's hard to get past the screaming, but she will eventually stop doing it. My now 19 month old used to scream at the worst times for no reason at all. With him being the youngest of 4 children and my first screamer I was shocked and embarrassed. He did stop, but speaking to him calmly everytime is what I did. Good luck with that.

Eating food is probably a new experience that she reallly is enjoying... Maybe its just a phase...

If you are noticing that she is not catching onto the punishment by putting her in the crib, which personally is wrong because she would be too young...again, every child is different. All my three boys including my 8 month old, demand the food to be put into their mouth quickly and I was trying as fast as I could. What I did with my other two and still do with my 8 month I say, "I am going fast as I can. I know you're hungry and the food is right here." You haveto be calm and don't let it affect you say to yourself, I am feeding her and I know she's hungry. I am not letting her starve. Because getting upset or trying to please her can upset you eventually. But, your best bet is, if there is a time that you know she will be hungry, feed her earlier. Don't wait until she is really hungry and cries to eat, feed her before she gets to that point. If you notice that she gets hungry three hours after her breakfast, feed her 15 minutes earlier or 1/2 hour earlier or whatever works. You are learning about her and she may be testing you. Or she may need to be told thta she's getting the food right then there. Just keep talking to her and teach her to say eat or show a sign to eat so when she catches on tht the tummy says it's time to eat, she'll associate it with the sign language and she can tell you when she gets hungry. Hope I have helped. See what other moms say....punishment for that won't be necessary especially at that age. Be careful what you are punishing her for. Punishment for my boys are if they kept doing soemthing I told them not to do, then they haveto sit down for time-out. If they outrightly say no or look at me and do what I told them not to do, then spanking is called for. She is only a baby still and this is her way of telling you. You work with her with signing and feeding her alittle bit earlier. Because someday in the future, you'll notice that punishment is for worst things. Let us know how you make out.

I just wanted to let you know that I am going through this too -- same age, same screaming! He loves to eat. I try to keep him busy with puffs or a wagon wheel to start, so I have time to prepare his real meal. He will start to fuss and scream if I don't get the food cut up fast enough! He is eating really small pieces of chicken, ground turkey, veggies, pasta, etc. I agree with the others too about the spoon -- let her try to feed herself as well, it will be messy but it keeps them occupied. Hopefully they will outgrow it!

Good luck!!

Give her finger foods and a spoon. Let her feed herself and when she gets tired of that help her finish off what she wants to eat. Look into "baby led introduction to solids" for tips on how to let your LO self feed.

Oh my god, you can't give a 10mo old time out. Time outs are not recommended until two years old, maybe 18mo at the most. Her yelling is just part of her development, you would do best to just ignore the negative behavior at her age. I don't even think she would understand ignoring, but if you need to punish, at least ignore.

As others said, definitely don't continue with the time-outs. I like the suggestion of finger foods. Also, if she's really hungry, maybe you could expand her feeding schedule a bit? Like maybe give a mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack? That way she may be just hungry enough at mealtimes, but not ravenous? Just an idea. Try a few things and see what works best. Good luck.

Hi, I'm a grandmother and I want to share with you a story my Mom told me. She said I was born hungry and when it was time to eat she had to keep the spoon going as fast as she could or I would scream. I then saw my grandson doing the same thing.PLEASE don't punish or scold your precious daughter for being hungry, this will pass as soon as she can feed herself. It is just a phase when ones goes from having the bottle to actually eating. With the bottle the food comes fast and it fills the tummy quickly.

My doctor has informed me that you should not try to reprimand or punish a child at this age...they are INCAPABLE of understanding. So your attempt to teach her a lesson by putting her in her crib for time-out will only frustrate and upset her more.

Screaming is her way of communicating and telling you what she needs. And it's just a phase. So I would continue to tend to her needs, especially since they are food-related and you don't want to create any eating issues...which I've heard can develop in infancy.
This will pass...I assure you.

Maybe she should be fed more food throughout the day so she isn't so hungry at meal times? Just a suggestion.
And I agree with the other ladies, your daughter is way too young for time outs.
Good luck ! D.

I think that at this age punishments are not warranted for bad behaviors. My child did the same thing and actually I think my nieces did as well. I would never have thought to put her in time out however I know I did find ways to help aid in the remediation of an impatient baby. If she does well with finger foods, I would give her a couple cheerios or perhaps little pieces of a banana-soft of course. Something to keep her occupied in between bites. Also it is not too early to start telling her about inside voices and outside voices and demonstrate pleasant soft spoken words to her. I never believed that it would work but it's amazing what babies are capable of learning. I don't think time outs are effective at this age, try other avenues instead of punishments. We started timeouts around 18 months, we had a naughty chair the whole bit. I think it would be a good idea to let her be in control of some of her meal, give her soft peas, black beans, chick peas-all soft. these are things she can pick up and this way she will get a since of independence as well. Good luck.

My son screams when I feed him too! It is not that he is famished...I feed him his 3 basic meals & healthy snacks in between. I have just chalked it up to the fact that he lacks patience. I feed him a spoonful of whatever it is & before I can get another spponful he is already complaining. Is your little one screaming because it has been too long since her last feeding or do you thing she is just plain ol' impatient like my little guy?

Ways to cope if they are impatient...

Talk them through it (Mommy is getting more...one moment...do you want more...say more please...etc.)

Be calm! Getting frustrated doesn't help.

Distract them (I give my son a spoon too! I also put some cereal puffs on his high chair tray so he can grab one or 2 in between or try to load them on his spoon)

Sing (I have found that when I sing a song to him...he screams less & focuses more on what I am singing)

If they are over-hungry...

Avoid a cranky, hungry baby by feeding her more frequently with snacks in between.

Be sure she has has enough to drink from you, her bottle, or sippy.

I agree with you that your little girl does not understand the time out concept. Reserve that for later...you'll need it :) For now...find a way to work through this phase with her.

Good Luck!!!

I would listen to her hunger cues. I would also not "punish" her by putting her in her crib. She is hungry and expressing herself the best she can. Does she use a spoon? Perhaps give her a spoon as well so she can place hers in the dish as well. It may take longer but mine used to like to try to feed themselves at that age! Perhaps put some self feeding foods such as the wagon wheels or cheerios on her tray as well. Also, time outs or any punishment at this age is too young. Be careful when using punishments when associated with food/feeding (same in regards to using food as a reward) as good eating habits start at this age. You don't want her to start to become scared to eat either. Food issues and girls are so complicated and when I was a new mother I was surprised that we had to be concerned at such a young age.

I would let her scream. I bet it won't last too much longer!

Honestly, I think 10 months is too early to understand time out. If it is possible to feed her calmly, ignoring her screams...just dont give it a lot of energy, the behavior will probrably subside since there is no response to it.
Good luck,
Julia.
Mom to 14 month old

I've always heard and experienced that using a slowly speaking to a child with a deep calm voice and with a lot of patience actually calms down the child. This means that if you respond to her screaming in this manner, chances are you will be able take control of the situation. You will most likely get her attention with words like: "We don't scream. Screaming is not nice. etc." And if you just do this continuously each time the situation calls for it, then hopefully she'll pick up the idea. But going head-on with her and punishing her may not be the best idea. She may not even understand why she's being punished. She just needs to be calmed down. Try putting on some relaxing nature music/sounds too. Good luck!

I completely agree with everything said here already. Please, do not punish her for communicating how hungry she is! And to answer your question, you cannot teach a 10 month old not to scream when hungry or frustrated, no matter how precocious she is.

My daughter also became frustrated at meal time. I did three things at this age.
1) I gave her a lot of finger foods on her high-chair tray before I got to feeding her the baby food.
2) we used 2 spoons, I'd hold the dish on the high chair tray, and she'd dip a spoon in and "feed" herself, (messily and missing the mark)... While she did that, I got my spoonful ready, and as I would offer it to her, she'd drop (or ignore) her spoon and grab for mine, which I'd relinquish and take the discarded spoon and continue the process. VERY messy but effective.
3) I changed her feeding schedule to give her two additional small snack during the day so she wouldn't be ravenous at meal time.

She was feeding herself with standard silverware by the time she was 11 1/2 months old. All the practice she got the month before payed off...

Try to hurry up! ha ha. Seriously though, you cannot punish a 10 month old, they're simply too young to understand it.

Is your daughter sitting up? Can she hold some foods? Sounds like she's ready for the high chair and to have food on her plate or tray that she reaches for herself and feeds herself inbetween your spoonfuls. You''re right--no punishments yet. She can't understand yet.

I don't know if I would use the time out thing- I think she is too young to understand it. All she knows is that she is hungry. I would try praising her when she shows patience and ignoring the screaming for now, or try modeling the behavior you want her to exhibit. For example, if you don't want her to scream, tell her in a low, calm voice "no scream." Let her know you hear her and that you are taking care of her needs as quickly as you can. Good luck.

A 10 month old doesn't really understand what a time out is. Your best bet is to just ignore it and she'll probably stop doing it. They keep doing it when they get a reaction out of you. Whether it be laughing, anger, etc... She'll probably stop if you just don't acknowledge it anymore.

Maybe you should feed her something in between so she doesn't get so hungry. Also - you should never give time outs in the crib. That should be a safe and comfortable place for her to go. Punishing her in her crib will definately be confusing. You should pick a spot - but I also think that 10 months is a little too soon for time out. Anyway - try a snack in between and good luck!!!!!

In my personal opinion, it's way too soon to give a 10 month old time outs. They have no idea yet what it even means. To lessen the screaming during mealtimes, try giving her something to distract her a little. Teething biscuits are always good, as well as plain rice cakes and freeze dried fruits. Just something to keep her occupied while she sits there. Sometimes they just hate to be contained in one spot for eating, so distraction should help. I usually turn on a baby einstein video if my son is fussy and give him a biscuit to chew on while feeding him, keeps him happy for 20 minutes. Hope this helps.
Lynsey

Please stop giving your 10 month old a time out! Time-outs are for 2-3 year olds at the youngest-and never in the place where they sleep and need to feel secure! This is a phase and she will grow out of it, please just ignore it and be patient!

My advice is to not use the crib for time outs. Kids tend to associate their time out space as being a "bad" place to be. you don't want to start having issues with her sleeping in there because she thinks she is in trouble. Change your time out spot.

My child did this too and stopped when I started giving her all of her food cut up on her tray and letting her feed herself. hope this helps.

Hi,
Sound like this baby is going through a growth spurt. Try feeding her more frequently, before she starts to fuss. Perhaps she needs heavier foods like those mixed with starches. In my opinion, the last thing you should be doing is a time out in the crib, as this only makes the child link sleep with punishment. Walking away for a minute during the screaming is better. The last thing you would want is a baby who hates her crib. Good Luck!

Hi Demetra
I am so glad that your daughter wants to eat, and is not fussy. Our oldest loved to eat, and I thought all kids were like that, then we have our youngest that is a surviving failure to thrive kid. Trust me screaming to eat is much better than screaming because they won't eat.
Now let me tell you my story. When our oldest was small, really small and just starting on food. Well, maybe before solid food because in the hospital first bottle he drank the whole 4oz, boy was the nurse angry. I cried as a first time new young mom, & she fed him the next bottle. Hey, he finished it on her too, in one swig, and she couldn't stop him either. She threw up her arms and said she would get the head nurse. The head nurse said as long as he doesn't get into distress she was fine. I said he wants more. She said "lets wait til tomorrow before we give your one day old more than 4 oz at a time. They gave me a bottle(4oz) every 3 hours, but he started sleeping through the night at 8 days. At about 6 months I can remember I had to hold his food dish up to his chin, and shovel it in just as fast as I could because if I stopped, he would scream so loud and get so upset he would toss it all up. Remember I had been told that was not good. OK by the time he was 10 months or there about I can remember having a jar of each: meat, vegetable, and fruit in one hand and shoveling it in so fast that it was done and over in less than 5 minutes, Giving him a spoon so he could "help" me helped some. If I had to adjust he had cereal he could get to his mouth. I can remember not knowing what the fuss about the time it took to feed the baby was. Less than 2 minutes 8 oz bottle gone, and less than 5 I had fixed and he had finished solid food. Along comes the twins 19 years later and it took an hour to give one of them 4 oz bottle and maybe it would be gone, but probably not. They had to eat every 2 hours, change them and so forth and it was time to repeat process with the other. Oh yes and they never slept through a feeding. She is 18 now, barely 5'1"and weighs in at 98 pounds. He on the other hand is 37 and 6'2" weighing in at about 210. He was certainly the easier child.
I'm married nearly 40 years, SAHM with the scream to eat kid, the teach him to suck kid, the premie who needed special foods etc, and the fussy failure to thrive kid. I love them all, and with each I learned to cope. God gives us wisdom to care for our children. Enjoy her and try letting her help. Who knows she may feed herself some too.
God bless you and your lovely family

Hi Demetra,

A 10 month old doesn't understand being punished, and I wouldn't want her to associate the crib with punishment. Perhaps the time between meals is too long and she is desperately hungry by the time she starts eating. At 10 months she is old enough to begin feeding herself table food, so this may also help, allowing her to regulate her own speed of eating.
If she screams, I would hold her hand, look her in the eye and firmly tell her "No screaming" without raising your voice.

Are you putting a plate for her too- so that she can feed herself in between your bites? My son was the same so I would put some turkey burger bites or whatever he was eating in small bites and he fed himeslf. I gave him a fork and spoon and now he stabs the food and or uses his fingers to feed himself. Now I barely ever have to feed him. I always feed in betweeen his bites!

Awwww little sweetie. She's just found her voice is able to make noises. I wouldn't give her time out for that. This will pass. Plus you should never ever use food (anything to do with food/feeding) as a punishment or a reward. If you react when she does this then start ignoring the behavior. Once she sees she can't get a reaction out of you it won't be as fun to her.

I would feed her earlier and maybe she won't be so hungry she is screaming.

10 months is WAY too young for time-outs. Children don't have the capacity to understand them until the earliest 18 months. Maybe it's time to start letting her feed herself. Yes, it will be messier, but it seems like she wants a little more control over her food. 10 months is certainly old enough for her to at least have some finger foods on her high chair tray.

REALLY weird but i just came on to write the smae exact thing you just wrote and asked! My daughter out of nowhere will just scream, and yes very cute in the beginning but now it really has me and my husband alittle concerned and not sure how to deal with her and teach her that it is wrong, would you please let me know what kind of responses you receive, hate to ask the same question as you did...lol! Would appreciate it...thanks

G.

Hey Demetra. I definitely understand your distress. My 8 month old does all kinds of avoidant or demanding things while I'm trying to spoon feed. She especially likes to "blow raspberries" while I'm trying to get a spoonful in. Also, swaps at it. But when she likes the food (i.e. fruit) she is all of a sudden a 'perfect' eater so it's hard not to try and be hard on her when she's doing the former. Anyway, for your daughter's developmental stage, the best 'discipline' is to say "mommy doesn't like that" and then distract her to something else. Give her a spoon to play with and sing to her while she's eating. If her scream means "more mama" (as you perceive it) then teach her to say "More mama" by verbally reiterating this when she screams and maybe even the baby sign language for it. You baby girl is young and is only trying to communicate- which is a good thing. She's not deliberately disregarding social norms for she can't really understand better yet.

As far as distraction/entertainment, My daughter loves the Apples and Bannanas song, which is also a learning opportunity for her b/c it reviews the vowel sounds. It takes a lot of patience on our part, at least for me, b/c I'm a mover shaker get it done kinda gal. But I have found these techniques very helpful and my girl definitely has a more positive accepting attitude about eating now.

Also, when are you spoon feeding relative to her bottle? I find it most helpful to spoon feed about an hour, hour and a half after a bottle. This way she is not completely full or too hungry. And remember that at 10 months old, the reason you're spoon feeding is to teach the socialization of it, not in and of itself the nutritional value (that's still coming from formula). So it's most important that eating be a positive experience for her or she may grow up to have eating aversions. Another tip, get her food and snack items she can feed herself with. My baby LOVES the teething biscuits, Graduates cookie things and these Veggie crackers I found at Walmart. And even with dinner- try to make things like Pastina or boiled pearled Barley. Let her have a little fun making a mess. But again, fosters a positive eating atmosphere and helps her feel appropriately independent, provides an opportunity to explore (tactile learning) and sharpen motor skills (pincer grasp, etc.)

Good luck and take some deep breaths. She'll outgrow it if you don't focus negative attention on it. -Nat