My Daughter Is So Slow She Almost Moves in Reverse! Any Ideas?

I had to laugh when I read this! This is my daughter to a T (and myself as well). My problem is when I have so much going on in my head that I cannot focus and will flit back and forth when reading or writing. I am on Lexapro to help with the concentration since my job is so demanding mentally. My daughter is nicknamed "molasses" as that is how slow she moves. She is 11 and tells me that if she isn't thinking specifically "I need to get this done" she goes through the motions in slow motion. We sing and listen to real upbeat music while we straighten up the house and kind of boogie through the work. If she "zones out" I poke her with my finger in the tummy and holler "Poke" and run away! She then chases me through the house trying to "poke" me back and this seems to bring her back up to speed. It was MUCH much worse when she was younger. I will NEVER medicate her. If she feels when she gets older (like I did) that it gets in the way of daily life then she can address it then however SHE wants too. Keep your chin up and give her a hug for me!

We went through this a lot when my daughter was in second grade. We started using a timer to encourage her to "beat the clock". We set a timer for an acceptable length of time, then gave her small rewards (stickers, hugs, etc) when she finished before the time was up. If she beat the timer all week, then she got a bigger reward (a special snack, a dollar to spend at the dollar store, etc). The teacher re-enforced this at school, as well. She would tell my daughter that she had a certain amount of time to complete an assignment. I got notes sent home if she was slowing down, but got smiley faces if she continued to do well. It really helped a lot.

It turned out my daughter's biggest problem was that she was a perfectionist. She wanted to make sure everything was not only done correctly, but that it also looked as good as it possibly could. I think it also helped that we explained to her that no one is perfect, that it's okay to make mistakes, and that she could still do well without trying to make everything look perfect.

Hi D.,
In addition to all of the other suggestions... Is your daughter a perfectionist? My 8 year is still very slow, not as extreme as your daughter but I call her granny. Her problem is that everything has to be "just so". When learning how to tie her shoes, she would do it over and over again until it was just a certain way. When learning how to write, she would erase several times until it looked just like the printed example. Still today, she at times will not complete a test because she runs out of time. She is an honor roll student, (all A's!)

If this sounds familiar? One thing is that gets her to move along is the fear of being left behind. I tell her that if she doesn't move faster or complete work in the allotted time, she'll be left behind or she'll get a bad grade. Then she is more focussed on getting the work done, than making sure everything looks "perfect".

As far as getting dressed in the morning............ I make her take her shower at night. Then I dress her before she even gets out of the bed or I help her. It takes 5min but it is worth it because it keeps me from getting frustrated. I just really chose my battles carefully. HOpe this helps!
D. H.

I have five children under age 10. I think there is an underlying issue with your daughter that needs to be discovered. I suggest you start by going to www.brightsolutions.us. My nine year old is very intelligent and gets good grades but really suffers through school work. It turns out he is dyslexic, although the school won't acknowledge this. Dyslexia research has come so far, but unfortunately it is very misunderstood still in society and in schools. I am so relieved to know what my son's issues are now. (We also just found out...also through my own research...that my husband is dyslexic. He would have been much happier if he'd known that as a child). It could also be a hormone/brain chemistry issue that is affecting her motivation and energy levels. You could ask a doctor to evaluate this. The school could also have an occupational therapist test your daughter. You really need to have a meeting with the counselor, vice principal, school psychiatrist, and teacher. Our school calls this an SST Meeting (student support team). Don't feel pressured to homeschool. If you don't find the underlying issues, doing the schooling yourself will just add to your stress and frustration. Also, try really hard not to compare your children. Good luck.

believe it or not, it my be diet related. Vitamins in the B group are energy vitamins, and being low in those can cause one to be sluggish and irritable. I would try whole grains (rich in B's) for breakfast with fresh fruit (rich in C). Try to avoid refined sugars since they have a quick release and cause the child goes into a "low" and crave more sugar.
I have the opposite problem, my son has toooooo much energy, so I have him on a slow energy release breakfast, and everything in the AM is sweetened with honey.
I would definately try altering the AM diet before any testing for some sort of disorder. A doctor had quickly labeled my son as ADHD and prescribed medication before I found out about changing the foods he eats. Now he is on no medication, and does better on the "natural" diet (which isnt a diet at all, just natural food- fruit, fresh veggies, whole grains, fish, etc.) than he did on meds. He just cannot handle processed foods. Everyone in my family eats the same now and it is amazing. My husband no longer gets heartburn, no one gets headaches, and my pms is gone completely. I am sure people are sick of hearing me go on about it, but it is astounding the effect it has had on all of us. If you want to know more, just ask, I am more than happy to tell all about it.

Have you considered she may have a learning disorder? It could be something as simple and re-trainable as dislexia. I was dislexic and it took all day in school and all night (before and after dinner) by the 4rth grade to complete my work. Math horrified me. Every time I looked at a new problem I would have to wait for the numbers to stop flipping. She can be tested. You have to put in a request for it and they may be hesitant. But her school should have the resources for at least initial testing. Don't take no for an answer if you think it could be helpful to your daughter. They have programs now for anything that may be holding her back...not like back in our day.

Well, my first instinct would be to get her tested for some sort of physical problem. Then I'd go from there. I know when I have sinus problem or allergies, I drag to the point of not moving.

Have you had your daughter tested to see why she processes and retrieves information slowly? You could have her tested and find out the reasons, then actually have her skills trained to be faster.
You can have that testing done at LearningRx; there are two locations now in Atlanta.
Best of luck!

I agree with Jill who suggests dietary changes. They make a huge improvement in everything. Also, how is her sleep? Children today are chronically sleep deprived and parents do not realize it. An 8 year old needs about 10-11 hours of sleep (granted every child is different). This means a bedtime of 8pm for most children who have to be ready for school or bus by 7am. I know many children are still at extracurricular activities at 8pm or just eating supper if parents work and don't get home until late. If you think sleep might be an issue try adjusting her bedtime to the earliest time she gets tired and that is practical for your family.

Has she been tested for any learning disorders yet? Her work just might not being getting her attention. You can try to make games out of it so she pays more attention but get it done quicker. And then after she catches on, just work off the games or find things that she can do with her homework on her own.

My daughter is 10 years old, and like yours, has been very slow at everything she does since she was a baby. Also, like yours, she is very bright, and gets excellent grades at school--unless something is timed. My daughter has improved (her level of frustration when hurried is less) with the help of acupuncture and some kinesiology type excercises. Currently, she is undergoing Vision Therapy--which actually has little to do with vision. Her eyes checked out fine on a regular exam. The vision therapy is about improving the neural pathways into and out of the brain--like turning a dirt road into a paved super highway, so to speak. We are just getting started with this, so will let you know....but I've seen it make a HUGE difference for some kids. I don't imagine you'll have resources near you, but maybe. Just Google 'Vision Therapy', and read up on it. Good luck!