My Daughter Ignores Me When I Tell Her No.

Aww yes....the ignoring. Mine are almost 2 and a half and they STILL ignore me. What I do is, when they ignore me, I give them 3 strikes and if they still disobey, I put them either in the corner for 2 minutes or in timeout for 2 minutes. That seems to be working for me. Good luck!

Your daughter has a natural curiousity about her surroundings at this age. I don't think she is playing in the dog's water dish because she knows you don't want her to, rather she is interested in feeling the water in her hands. If you are finding yourself saying the word "no" all day long to other things, you need to babyproof your home a bit better. Put gates up in rooms where you haven't babyproofed, and put her in an area where she can explore freely without hearing "no". Reserve the word "no" for times when she is hitting, biting, or doing something that could seriously harm her- like running toward the street. In all other cases try redirecting her attention to something else- like another toy or moving her to another room.

I highly recommend reading up on positive discipline techniques or joining a Yahoo Group that discusses it. Becky Bailey is a local expert on positive or "conscious" discipline. Her website is www.beckybailey.com.

Hi,
I have a 2 1/2 year old and it only gets worse. It's totally normal behavior but you need to set up consequences. She is testing you, seeing how far she can push you. You need to be consistent. If you tell her no, give her a warning and tell her what will happen if she does it again. If she does it again, give her a time out. At this age they won't just sit so you hold them in a chair and count to 20. Whatever you do, do not let her squirm her way out because you are setting up a punishment structure. You need to assert yourself so she will listen and understand that there are consequences. Kids need and want boundaries, we as their parents are supposed to provide that for them. You aren't being a bad mom to punish your child for doing something wrong, in fact you are being a good mom. In the real world we have to live by rules even if we don't like them. It's our job to teach that to our children as well. Especially since you are on your own, you need your daughter to respect you. Also, always stay calm, just explain what will happen if she does it again. If you scream and yell, she will know she got to you.

I have watched Nanny 911, and Supernanny and find that their ideas are wonderful. I started putting my oldest(4) in her naughty seat(dining room seat facing a wall) when she was 3. It works like a charm. For some reason, they stay there. I can't explain it! But you need to warn her first, and then when the inevitable happens, you put her there without much talk except to tell her it is the naughty seat. One minute per year of age. They will cry, and when their time is up, always ask if they know why they are there, and ask them to say sorry, and not to do it again. I hardly ever use it except to say "would you like to go in the naughty seat?" and whatever it is stops.
I also have a 22 month old that i started a few months ago. It's tougher to keep them in the seat i agree(i use the corner of a room for her)but you have to keep putting them back. They are smarter than you think. Now when i ask her if she wants the naughty seat, she says no, and any bad behavior stops. It was so much quicker than with my oldest.
It's a very good alternative to any spanking or getting stressed out because they are not listening or won't behave. It really does work. Try it. Also, get the Supernanny book, it's very easy to understand, and works wonders.

Kids hate time out/ Even at that age.However time out shouldn't last pass two minutes. Believe me that is forever for them. Get a little chair, put it in a corner, that will mark her place for time out. Trust me she will learn to hate that corner, and the results you get out of this little chair in the corner will be amazing. What ever you do don't compromise, when it's time for corner it;s time for corner. Most kids don't like to be disturbed while playimg with toys, so if she knows that her play time can possibly be disturbed she will get the messege and get her act together. Of course the challenges just get greater. The only person we have now days that can help us with our children is the Lord. The answer to your tommorows is prayer, Your right it is not going to get any easier, just think about us when we were growimg up the problems we gave our parents, the job doesn't get any easier. so,,,,,,,, my love pray.

Your mamasource sister
P. A P.
I wish you the best

My son is two and does the same thing. It is an age that they are trying to establish independence and learn their boundries. That means they are going to test those boundries. most little ones like playing with water and things like that. They learn from it, and it is very interesting to them. If it bothers you I would just pick her up and move her to something else, that she can play with. Explain to her in simple words that she can't play in the doggies dish, that it's messy, and it's for the doggie.

You could also set up something with messy things, water sand, etc. for her to play with in a more controlled manner. this way she gets the learning experience, the interesting sensations, without making a mess wher you don't want it. When she gets a little older it will be easier to get her to start listening more, but right now she's doing a lot of growing and learning. She really doesn't know any better and it will take time for her to learn what is ok and what is not. Telling her no a lot will probably just get her used to hearing it a lot. It's probably better to explain to her why you don't want her doing things, and telling her what you would like her to do. Positive reinforcement, not false praise but praise when they do something that is very good or you are proud of works well. If you see something like that tell her how proud you are, and tell her why you are proud of her, especially when she does something she has had trouble with.

Hope this helps.
Good luck with everything.
V.

My 14 month old loves the dog water dish too, and has for quite some time. She also doesn't listen when I tell her no. I tell her no very sternly, but if she still doesn't listen to me (sometimes she cries or throws a temper tantrum too when I tell her no) I take the dog food dish away and put it up on the counter for a while or redirect her to something else. From talking to friends they are all obsessed with the dog water dish at this age, and it takes some time to get them to leave it alone.
Good luck.

Dear S.,

My son is the same age and has also started this tenacious behavior. He's usually pretty good when I tell him no and distract him with a new toy or book or game. But lately there have been a few triggers that set him off. He discovered how to push the button on the TV to turn it on and off. And the other thing is the side table lamp in the living room. It has decorative beads hanging from the shade and he is constantly compelled to grab them. We can push the lamp out of his reach, but he's getting taller by the minute. And now the TV thing is driving me crazy. He's not just curious. He's determined. He giggles wildly when he is about to push the button, and he laughs even harder when I tell him "no." I've tried distracting him. I've tried bribery. I've tried ignoring him. It never gets old. Once he remembers that stupid button is there, it's all he can think about. Even if we leave the room for a diaper change or something, he goes straight back to the TV to push the button once we return.

So I started putting him in "time out." I turn his high chair around to face the wall. I give him one warning and say the words "time out" so he is familiar with the threat. Then if he does it again (which he does) I say "time out" again and put him in the chair facing the wall for 1 minute (because he's one year old). He doesn't fuss at all. I don't talk to him or look at him. He's mostly just confused. But after the one minute I take him out and let him go and he doesn't go near the TV. I've only had to do this twice so far. I don't know for how long it will work. I think I need to find a new time out place so he doesn't think he's being punished when it's time to eat.

I read all sorts of parenting books and some of them advocate the time out and some of them don't agree with punishing 1-year-olds in any way. But my little boy is being naughty. He's not just curious. It's sort of a game to him, so I'm trying to take the fun out of it. I really want him to learn boundaries. Until now I have just taken something out of reach if I didn't want him to touch it. But I can't move the TV. I hope more people respond to your request. Maybe they have some more creative solutions. For now this is working for me. I hope you find something that works with your daughter.

Good luck.

Sincerely,

T.

My son just turned two and we went through the same thing around that age. It is a healthy sign that your little one tests her limits. At this early age it is best to redirect her while letting her know she is not to do that and focus on positive reinforcement once she is on to the next venture. I would suggest saying no only for the things that are dangerous. Kids who hear no all the time learn to say no all the time and it doesn't catch their attention as quickly. "EH, Eh!" is an effective alternative. When she gets to around 18 months the timeouts become very effective but you have to be very consistant. 1 minute per each year of age. I would also avoid hitting her at this age because that is teaching her to hit and you will certainly see that later on the playground.

Of course this is just my opinion and is based on the feedback from and observations of my brothers and sisters who have all total 18 children currently ranging ages 6 to 28.

Hi S.,,,It's tough sometimes but hang in there...at this age it's all about distracting her to something else...she doesn't have the frame of mind of thinking out "now I will just ignore her and she will go away", she is just focused on her surroundings and she's exploring.especially water. An idea if you haven't done it already is to give her, her own cabinet in the kitchen (at her level of course) of tupperware to play in and lead her to play with that instead, just say "you can play with this" because it belongs to you and that belongs to the dog, keep talking to her and letting her know that she should not play there and soon enough she will get it...but she is still very very young...Good luck

Yes the best thing for us was to redirect, redirect and redirect! I also moved things that i didn't want my son to mess with. Like w/the dogs water, move it to a gated off area. with a toddler you just have to constantly be right there and HELP them not do it, just sitting across the room telling them. lol not to say that's what you do but my DH does! I really don't think at 14 mo they understand time out. I don't use it with my 2yo! good luck. also there are some parenting groups over on yahoo that are for positive parenting, I have found lots of advice and support there.

My daughter started doing the same thing, and so altough it may seem early, we started putting her in time out (only for a couple of minutes), her time out is going to her room and we shut the door. She actually responds very well to this. After a couple of minutes, we get her and explain to her why she was in time out (ie: go over to the dog bowl and say "No") and she gets it. I know they seem to be too young to understand this sort of thing, but they are suprisingly alot sharper than we adults give them credit for. Hope this helps!

IF you tell you her to do somethng and she doesn't do it, you do it yourself. Take the dish away. Let her have her fit. They need to vent just like us sometimes and they only know how to vent by crying. My daughter, i will suggest for her to brush her teeth, she wont, i tell her, she wont, i put the toothbrush away, she wants to do it. then i give it to her. reverse psychology is my best friend now.
S.

I just took my son to his 15 month check up and asked my son's doctor the same question. He said to ignore temper tantrums and to start using one minute time-outs for bad behavior. He said to start with the "no" and a warning first then put them in a "time-out" place for one-minute. I haven't tried it yet so hopefully it will work!!!