My Daughter Doesnt 'Play.'

I don't think you have anything to worry about. I read that babies and toddlers can't really differentiate between chores and play. So when they see you doing chores, it could be play to them. This is actually good, she'll be able to be entertained with common household stuff. Sounds like she's very well adjusted, so I would not worry.

sorry i went to respond to this b/c it was "in the spotlight" I didnt realize how long ago it was written

try the little people toys. but if she likes pushing her stuffed animals around in the stroller, maybe you should just start getting her dolls, a crib, doll stroller, and anything to be a "mommy" like the kitchen, a vacuum, they do have a cleaning lady kit, mop, bucket, duster, vacuum. a girl i know had it for her son...he used to ALWAYS steal a sponge from the kitchen, and wipe everything down...and try so hard to play with her vacuum, but being so small, just wasn't working...so she got him one that really works. maybe she's just a "clean" person, in a tiny body. she probably is just being "mommy's little helper" and looking up to you by imitating what you do. get her her own things so she can do that, but at the same time "play" while doing it because she's using her toys to do that. my daughter sometimes steals wipes to wiped everything down and says clean, clean, clean while she does it (because that's what my husband used to do when he would clean and she'd be watching him).

One of the most common mistakes parents make is comparing their children: one child walked at 11 months; why is her little brother still not walking at that age? One child slept through the night at three months; his baby sister is nearly three years old and still wakes up at least once a night. You get the idea. Children are unique and no two will develop the same way, even among siblings. Your son is more independent; your daughter appears to be more attached to you and naturally mimics what she sees you doing. Rather than throwing money at the perceived problem and buying her more stuff she won't play with, let her "help" you and enjoy the time together. As far as playing, always take your child's lead: if she wants to sing songs, sing along with her. Resist the temptation to steer her toward what you think she "should" be doing. Too many parents already burden their kids with enough unrealistic expectations...with all due respect, let your daughter feel free to be who she is without sensing that she's somehow not living up to yours. She sounds as if she's doing fine.

My baby (10 months) while is interested in toys, much prefers "odd toys" such as...salad tongs. Spatulas. Measuring cups and spoons. I cant tell if he just enjoys playing with things he "isnt supposed to have" or if he just likes imaginitive "real life" things to play with. Girls, I notice are much more "observers" and like to follow, watch and copy. Thats just my experience between the 2 sexes, so far! She sounds normal and healthy to me! Maybe invest in some salad tongs! LOL!

Hi Crystal,
does your daughter point to things? If she does play, does she play approprietly? I have a son, who is 8 yrs.old now, but at 2 yrs.old he was diagnosed with autism. Mention this to the peditrician. They are checking for this now. Either that, she might like hanging around you and doing stuff with you. I have a 21 month old and he loves to do the dishwasher with me. He hardly ever wants to play. If im sitting watching tv, he sits with me. But, i think he might be behind verbally. He babbles alot, but seems to get frustrated when i don't understand him and starts to whine. Im going to ask his peditrician about this. But, please let me know.

I've got good news for you, the unloading and loading of laundry and dishwasher, and copying what mommy does, that's playing for her. She may just want to be close to you and is not ready for independent play. My son did the same thing, and I put a swiffer in his hand when he wanted to follow me around and clean. He wasn't too effective, but he sure had fun.

I think that is fine. My son is 14 months old as well. She probably is copying what she sees you doing. She sees you as her model. My son likes to follow me when I clean. He tries to take the broom and start sweeping or he will go into the kitchen and randomly take the broom to sweep. At the babysitters he tries to help her wipe things down as well. He would prefer to climb bookcases and onto to table instead of playing with toys. I almost think it was a waste of money buying him so many toys.

You love to cook and shop, and she wants to grow up just like you. What is wrong with that? Play is getting ready for life (That is why I object so much to guns) Little girls learn how to take care of babies from playing with dolls. She is playing when she washes the walls! Most toys are made by money hungry companies; not by people who understand child development. The best things for children to play with are mud, sand and water. Take her to a toy store and ask her to choose her own toy. You will learn from her what she needs. Get her unwrapped crayons and big, blank paper and let her scribble. Relax. She's watching you enjoy your life and she is happy being who she is. Celebrate!

Crystal, Well I'm sorry to be the odd man out here. And I certainly don't mean to worry you --but it wouldn't hurt to check with your doctor. I just watched a special (Larry King) about Autism.. One child sat in the high-chair making contact w/the adults, while the Autistic child focused on playing w/ 'one' bowl despite other objects or people around him. Honestly, both boys seemed fine to me. Again not to worry you-- but early detection is best; again doens't hurt to be sure! I have a neice who refused ..absoultely refused to acknowledge the signs that anything was wrong w/her daughter; everyone told her "she's fine..she's just different..she's fine" Of course I was the "bad guy" for suggesting otherwise! Not until the Daycare (she was around 4yrs old by then)sent her child home becuase THEY knew something was 'wrong' did my neice finally get her daughter help! It's a shame ... she's now 9 & my neice (tho gets help) still is in some sort of denial..continues to feed her "Gluten" & "Casein" products (milk/wheat) tho her daughters stomache is so swollen (cannot digest). Oh well.. good luck. Let me know how you make out.

Hi Crystal,
She does play, but her way. My daughter, now 25-mths was the exact same way. Instead of playing with her toys, she would rather help me. It is her way of bonding and modeling you and your behaviors. She will play eventually. It sounds as if she loves to role play. I bought my daughter a kitchen set for her birthday, that way she could cook with me. I also have a tea set for her and she makes tea. This is probably a little too advanced for a 14-mth, but she will be there as you know soon enough. She also loves her baby dolls. She really enjoyed playing with her baby at around 14-mths. My older daughter enjoyed playing with all her toys, much like your son, but the younger one enjoys role playing and modeling.There is nothing wrong with her, in fact, she is awesome, enjoy it. My friends are jealous of my mini-me.

She is playing! Relax, she is a little girl exploring her world, her way! Enjoy that she wants to help, my little one loved to "dust" for me at that age. Engage her when you can. Does she have a little kitchen to play with? That my be a good engaging toy for her. Good luck.

i wouldnt be concerned at all. children love to mimic parents..and that age they dont know what toys are gender appropriate...they also see toys and objects arounds the house as the same. my son loves to get out his mop, broom, vacume and baby wipes and imitate me all the time. at that age they still parelell play along side not interacting with other kids.

Crystal,
So funny all the things you are saying my 14 month old daughter does also. I am a special education teacher so I am of course overly paranoid about EVERYTHING she does. What your daughter is doing IS playing,in her own way. Every child plays differently, let her do the things she likes to do whether it is taking out baby wipes or following you around. A vocabulary of 20 words is wonderful! My daughter has a huge vocabulary also, many times a child will concentrate on one developemental milestone at a time, if it is words she is using alot of, thats awesome!! I was just laughing today talking to my mother who by the way had 9 kids, of which I am the youngest, we were hysterical because I was telling her that all my daughter does is walk around the house with the wipes and clean, and that she plays with the remote, but not her toys!! Its totally normal, you have nothing to worry about, she will let you know when she is ready to play with her toys :)
~~ Good Luck,
L. B.

Hello Crystal,

I am a stay home mom of 4.(almost 10 year old,7,6,19 months.
Me and my husband make jokes about this. We say,we would of saved alot of money if we bought a extra set of pots and pans. When my 1ST was born we bought a play kitchen for him and,he just loved it. When were cooking so was he.I have friends that same the same thing.Just shows that your child is very smart.

L. T

Crystal,
I think this is totally normal! This is her way of playing! So even though she isn't playing with "toys" she is still playing. My daughter does the same things and she is 16 months old. :) -P.

Don't worry-be happy- this is normal.THis is the best kind of play. She is playing 'mommy' and interacting and helping mommy at the same time. Every kid is different. I have one girl that plays with stuffed animals all the time. She always has one in her arms. The other one could not care less about dolls and stuffed animals.
When I had my first daughter she would love to pretend talking on the cell phone. Guess what I stopped doing so much! Plus, there are important skill set to be learned in doing/helping with laundry and dishes. This sounds adorable not weird. She is okay! S. L

You are describing my daughter to a T when she was that age. She is 26 months old now and she does play a little bit more by herself. She will color in her coloring books and play pretend with her dolls, but she still prefers to sing songs, read books and unload the dishwasher with me. I'm sure that it is normal. I try to teach her pretending games and teach her how to build things with her blocks etc. After I spend time playing with her, I notice that she will play the same games on her own from time to time.
I don't know if different toys will help or not. We don't have a lot of toys for our my daughter and she is our only child. She really likes her baby doll that has a bed and a bottle so she can pretend to feed it and put it to bed. She likes her puzzles, coloring books and stacking blocks and I've taught her to 'bowl' with her large rubber ball and some clean empty juice containers. She also like some musical instruments that we have for her (harmonica, drum and xylophone).
Hope some of this info is helpful.
All the best.- B.

i also don't think you have anything to worry about. to me it sounds like her "pretend play" (cleaning, taking care of baby dolls, singing) is actually a little advanced for her age. maybe she would enjoy different toys such as a toy vaccuum, broom and duster, grocery cart with play food, play kitchen... those usually are recommended for older kids... but she seems most interested in them at this age. i only have one child, but agree with not comparing children. i've been told that girls often sort things more than boys... maybe they also imitate their mommas more than boys?

good luck... i hope that was helpful!

To me it sounds like your daughter is a smart girl. She is learning from you. It is my personal opinion that what she is doing is normal. I think that it is ok to ignore toys; kids with big immagination don't need toys to play; I have seen that with my children. I do see that they sell toys that mimic cleaning equipments, like lawn mowers, vacuum clearners and little broom and dust pans; I'm actually thinking on buying a set for my 16 month old boy who loves to play with my broom.

Have you tried getting her some "cleaning" supplies of her own....play brooms, vacuums, dusters? My nephew is 14 months and will walk around for hours with a broom in his hand, so my sister started getting him all the cleaning toys in his own size and he LOVES them!! He plays all the time now with them. (His big cousin was the same way....who knows, maybe they will grow to be men that actually help out around the house!!!)

Oh my son is the "little helper"... Really it is normal. She wants to be like mom.

Scroll way down....she is right...
Do not compare the children.

It is a proven fact...

In a controlled environment, observing the difference between little boys and little girls when given a new object....

Statistically, little boys are more likely to experiment with it like a little boy....can I bite it? Change the form? what kind of noise does it make when I bang it on the ground? and for some...how far can I throw it?....and many other more rough observations.

Little Girls want to see how it feels against their cheek, smell it, see if its cuddly, or relate it somehow to a pet or living being.

There are always exceptions...but statistically....you have a normal little girl.

Look at what others suggest...toys that resemble household items....Little tykes or fisher price play kitchen, washer and dryer....she may play with these items while you are playing house for real, mimicking what you do. If you introduce a doll and high chair, she may mimmick your relationship with her and her brother and eventually play house on her own.

Do yourself a favor....get her actions on video. I recently found video of my daughter helping daddy paint her room when she was barely 2. I forgot about her always following daddy and mimicking him....it's cute. You want to capture these things before they get away.
and...
You will love to look back on these habits when you are yelling at her to clean her room when she's 13.

:)

Your daughter is completely normal. It sounds like she is a girlie girl and there is nothing wrong with that. Just enjoy her and try not to compare her with your first born. All children are different and not all of them like to play with their toys. Especially at that age.

Hi, Crystal!

Pick up a copy of "The Continuum Concept," by Jean Liedloff. You'll be fascinated, and it speaks just to what your experience may be.

Enjoy!!

It sounds like your daughter is a great actress! My daughter is 17 months and she likes to copy everything we do and repeats our words. Your daughter identifies with you in a way your son doesn't. She is acting like mommy, the biggest girl she knows, when caring for her 'babies' and 'cleaning' house. She'll probably become interested in the toys you have for her down the road. Be well!

Crystal,like everybody else here I will tell you nothing wrong with your daughter. My son is 21 months now and he is and was same-playing with bowls and spoons while I am cooking. In the kithen keep in some storage that she can open herself some plastic boxes and spoons,add once in a while something new and different (and safe of corse). My son have so many toys but unless I take them out and play with him he wont go near them. Now he is into cars and trucks.but still one of his favorite "toys " are broom-I put on song "clean up' and he has great time "cleaning". I read some where that it is signs of intellegence-they are exploring on their own everything in the house and trying to be helpfull (at this age!)Check out website Babycenter.com and yourparentingsolutions.com they have a lot of tips on different matters including how kids play and learn at each stage moth by month,
i hope it will help you,you really have nothing to worry about her,
Good luck!