My Child Saw Her Classmate Steal. What Should I Tell Her to Do?

I think your daughter was right to come and tell you and it speaks volumes about the trust you and her share that she was comfortable doing so.

I would tell your daughter you appreciate her honesty and she did the right thing by coming to you. Let her know you will handle it from here. Then as the mom I would call or go talk to the principal and let him/her know what happened and what has been going on. Let him know that these girls have also accused your daughter of gossiping so you don't want her brought into it. Put the ball in his court and let it go from there. If the principal does decide to approach the other gir, she'll never know who let the cat out of the bag. But it just might scare her enough not to do it again.

I don't think your daughter should tell.....I think you should tell. Your daughter told you, whom she is comfortable with, and now you can call the school. That's alot of unneeded pressure to put on a 5th grade girl who is already having problems with these girls. Plus, if you make the call, the girls will be less likely to find out who told.

Pre-teen years can be challenging times for children as well as parents/teachers.

Encourage your daughter to tell the truth in private to the teacher and request that her name be kept private. Also have a courageous dialogue with the teacher and school principle about the inappropriate behaviors/spreading rumors.

Solving these problems/issues takes time and consistent effort by caring adults in our children's life.

Hope your main goal is to turn this incident into a learning experience for your daughter in some small way.

When things get like that... the girls parents need to be notified, and they get sent to the school counselor. That is what my daughter's school does.

If it were my daughter, I'd tell the Teacher. Anonymously. Meaning, the Teacher should be SMART enough to protect the "privacy" of the reporting child or parent.
The Teacher cannot handle these girls. The Teacher needs to be notified... the girls are creating a very hostile environment for the class, and the Teacher needs to be put on notice that you (the parents) expect something to be done about it. If not, these girls will RULE the school and intimidate other kids and scare them. THIS is not okay, is it? Do you want these terrible girls to RULE the school..... and harm your daughter? I think not. That is why Parents have to be vocal too. THIS situation warrants that. Be brave. If it were me, I would have spoken out, and to the Principal.
Sure, this happens in life... but it has to be dealt with. And/or the offending girls, get reprimanded.

Next, DOCUMENT these things... to protect your daughter if in the event you need to provide proof of the perpetrators and the innocence of your girl.

YOU need to tell the Teacher... of these problems. Unless the Teacher gets formal complaints... probably nothing will happen. AND these girls do need to be reprimanded... they are "BULLIES."
MOST schools, have a Zero-Tolerance" policy about bullying. And this includes students/faculty/teacher perpetrators.

Something like that happened to my daughter, in 1st grade. (my daughter was actually shoved). I spoke out and reported it. The Teacher actually THANKED me... because, these girls had a reputation about being bullies/causing trouble, but NO parents complained about it. So, the Teacher said, with my formal complaint (A Letter), she could then DEMAND a reprimand for these girls... AND the parents were notified. She was grateful, and said it is GOOD, when parents take note and report these things. It gives the teacher/school 'reason' to discipline these kids and provides PROOF, to the offending kids parents, of their child's gross mis-conduct.
I also, requested that my daughter NOT be placed in the same class with these girls the next year. And the Teacher did so. ALL the Teacher's know about these girls, in my daughter's grade level... even they say its horrible, how they act and torment other kids.

If you are afraid of writing a letter, remember that they can black-out your name and your child's name. Schools have a responsibility to protect the privacy of kids/parents.

All the best,
Susan

I think you should tell but only if you are Guaranteed your daughters name will not be mentioned. One of the "worst" things kids can be labeled and it can stick with them throughout school is a "snitch" or "tattle-tale". You want to teach her to do the right thing, but you also don't want to cause her long term problems at school. My childs school doesn't do "secret" telling because it could easily be turned around and used against your child as well. Your child might not do anything, but someone could "secretly" blame her for something, and you wouldn't be privy to who was making up stuff about your child. My sons school works more with the "letter of the law" so to speak, you have a right to know your accuser. (I have worked at schools in the past and have seen first hand all the rumors, gossip, etc. that goes on, and it's a fine line between doing the right thing and making things terrible for your child.)

I would have her tell anyone in the system whom she trusts. Perhaps her teacher, the school counselor, another teacher, an office staff member, the school nurse, a parent who is working at the book fair; any adult. Then the adult can handle the situation in the best way possible for a good outcome. That adult will keep her out of the process if she asks to be kept out.

It is important for kids to learn how to be a good citizen. We would want an adult who saw someone that they could identify steal something off our front porch or out of our car. The training for doing this starts in childhood.

I agree with some of the other posters that it is now your job to handle it. Just let her know that she already did the right thing by letting you know. Since this can have very serious consequences, it may be best handled by an adult.

You must be doing something very right with your daughter for her to be so open with you. I would hope that if you handle it from here, you will keep those lines of communication open. Good luck!

Maybe leave an unsigned note on the teachers desk stating what she saw.